Once Upon a December
Chapter 7
Denker left Violet sitting in bed flustered and confused. He was downstairs waiting for her, and not only did her heart race in her chest once more, but her mind was spinning like mad. She had to get dressed! She felt like a school girl, anxious and nervous about meeting her sweetheart and wanting to look her absolute best for him. She had known he would be calling on her today of course, but hadn't expected him so early in the morning. She didn't know of course, that he had been just as anxious about seeing her again. Violet got up and started undoing her night gown before Denker would return with the day dress. She had sent Denker a stern look, when she had looked at her in that suggesting way, but in fact she had thought it quite a relief that Denker had smelled the coffee, even though she hadn't said it out loud. It made things a bit easier, even if Violet didn't intent for her to know any more. As she buttoned down her night dress, thoughts of the past crept back to her mind once again. She thought of the time, when he was the one undressing her and releasing her from the restrains of her tights corset. She blushed by the thought. How young she had been, how young and well put together. God knows, she didn't look the same today, and no corset could bring back the slender figure or smoothness of her skin, yet when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, se turned to her side, and let her hands slide down over her own body. She smiled and shook her head slightly, she was surely too old to admire herself like that, especially when what met her eyes was not half as appealing as it had been 50 years ago. No, her body had indeed grown old, but apparently the feeling inside it wasn't at all aware of this. She felt as wanton as she had 50 years ago. Denker arrived with the dress, and when she sent her employer yet another knowing look Violet said sternly "Denker, If you wish to remain in my service, I suggest you stop those suggestive glares, and simply do your job!" she held out her wrist to her, and Denker started undoing the buttons on the sleeves while smiling sheepishly.
Spratt walked into the Dower drawing room in his usual pout, looking at the Prince with utmost disgust. "Her Ladyship will be down shortly, Mr?.." He knew his name of course, but this was typical Spratt, and without his employer in the room, his snobbery knew no limits. "Kuragin" he answered not looking at Spratt, but out the window. This man might think himself above him now, but Igor knew who he really was, and he was not about to give into any stupid or disrespectful comments from a servant. Why Violet would have hired such an impertinent man, was beyond him, but then again, Violet wasn't one to have meek people around her. She had always been most comfortable around people who could make her tick in one way or the other. Whether she'd admit it or not. "Mr. Kuragin" Spratt almost spat the name, bowed his head almost sarcastically and walked out again. Igor laughed to himself and returned his eyes to the window. This was the first time he had ever been in her home. Her home. Not her husband's or her children's, no this was all Violet, and he felt her presence in everything his eyes fell on. It was all quite as he'd imagined, the room being very dignified and beautiful - feminine, as Violet herself. But when he looked at the garden, and noticed the many playful purple and sandy blue colours that filled it in every corner, his heart warmed immensely. The large rhododendron was waving in the soft spring air, and he smiled as the flower reminded him of a certain conversation they had once shared during one of their secret meetings. "You're rather early, don't you think?" Her voice filled his ears like liquid gold, and he turned and saw her standing at the door, definitely not looking like a woman who had just gotten up from bed. "I've always been quite the morning person" he said and send her a teasing look. She didn't answer, she simply raised an eyebrow and went to her chair as he too sat down. "I think we'll have some tea" She rung her bell, and Spratt was there right away "Tea. Thank you Spratt", "Very good My Lady" he disappeared again, and Violet placed her cane beside her chair "You must excuse Spratt, he's behaved quite like the spoiled debutant lately". He returned straight away with the tray, and when Violet announced they'd take care of it themselves, he left without another word.
With cup in hand, here they were, sitting opposite each other, alone again. It was odd. They were both aware of what was transpiring, yet both of them held there guards up, maybe the fact that they were in Violet's territory now made a difference. Igor leaned back in the sofa, looking mostly at his hands while looking like he belonged alright. Violet of course sat straighter than ever, hands in lap, looking rather searchingly at her former lover. "So you got my letter" he said, still not facing her. "Yes", "I meant every word you know, I don't wish to disrupt your life, but.." Violet put out her hand, they way she did when interrupting someone; "never the less…" Igor however would take none of that; "- I think you've gathered by now, that I haven't let go of my old feelings for you" Violet stood, forgetting all about her cane and walked back and forth in front of the fireplace. She place one hand at the mantelpiece and stared into the flames; "It's been so long, Igor. We are hardly the same people anymore," she turned to face him; "For goodness sake, we're both older than Methuselah! What in God's name did you have in mind?". He looked at her, his face suddenly steady and stern and he suddenly resembled himself as the young man she had once loved. "We had a plan once. A plan to run away from it all and be happy. Have you forgotten that?" she shook her head "Of course not, but..", "Fate brought me here, Violet. I feel as if this horrible thing I've been through was all meant for me to find you at last. Don't you see? We've been given a second chance!". She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at this. She was more confused than anything, and it annoyed her enormously that he didn't see the sense she did "This is madness! I've had my life here and you with the Princess. You've been driven out of your life and country, I refuse to believe you've thought of me all this time, as much as you claim!". He sat back even further now, crossed his legs and to Violet he looked almost amused. Far too calm for this conversation. "You said yourself that we're old. This is our last chance of real happiness, Violet. I know it, and I know you do to. Even if you won't admit it" his calmness was getting on her nerves, but then again, she had always been good at facing people head on, so she simply copied his calmness and looked straight at him. "What exactly are you saying, Igor? I hope you know, that I have certain standards to live up to, and that scandal is not something I desire in any way. I am bound by my status, maybe not in the same way as I was, but never the less, I am. The world may be going mad, but I don't intend to join it. And anyway, I don't know what you mean by 'our last chance'? We left any chance we had behind us, many years ago!". He returned his eyes to his hands, fumbling with his fingers, now he didn't have his rosary. "I refuse to believe that!", "And what about the Princess?" Violet found she was almost sounding angry, yet what she was feeling was quite different from anger. Was it confusion, fright or maybe..hope? She wasn't sure. "They haven't found her yet" he stood and walked back to the window, "Are you proposing to divorce?" Violet's voice was filled with shock now. Except for Shrimpie and Susan, she had never personally been confronted with divorce. Well, except for that time 50 years ago, when she had almost done it herself, but she preferred not to acknowledge that. Then he suddenly changed his tune, turned to her and with the wit she had so loved him for in the past, he said "Why? Do you want more children?" He smiled sheepishly at her, and she too couldn't keep back the slight amusement that showed on her lips. Yet at the same time, the words entered her mind as a sort of confirmation of what he hadn't quite confessed yet. 'Do you want more children?' obviously he was being witty, but what was hidden underneath the words, were far from funny. Then he turned serious again "I want to spend my final years with you" He turned and looked into those deep blue eyes of her's "As a friend. As a lover!" she could hardly breath now. She had to clutch her chest, and in the absence of her cane, she had to hold onto the edge of her chair as she sat down in complete chock. She hadn't expected him to be so forward in such a nonchalant way. Of course she knew, from his former declarations, that he must have wanted that, but to hear him actually speak the words. How long had it been since she had been someones lover. Not since Igor Kuragin, she thought. Not really. "The last years have been ugly. I don't want what remains to be ugly" Her thoughts were flying through her head, and she was reminded of how she had only been able to nod, back when he had first invited her to his private rooms 50 years ago. "No" she simply said. He sat down opposite her and took her hand "So? What do you say?".