Once Upon a December

Chapter 10

St. Petersburg 1874, The Kuragin Palace

The dining room was splendid of course and not at all like the one at Downton. It was first of all twice as big and much darker. The table was much longer and Violet suspected they were more than 50 people around it, which was probably an exaggeration. She had been seated between Lord Hudson and a Russian man, whom to her horror didn't speak a word of English. Igor was at the other end next to his wife and engaged in a heated discussion with someone Violet didn't recognise. While she was listening to Lord Hudson's rather boring story about his last time in Russia, she silently thanked the Lord for being seated so far from Igor. She found it impossible not occasionally to look up, and see if he was looking at her too. Thankfully the entire Russian company were talking fast and loudly across the big table, including Igor. She was indeed relieved that she wouldn't have to endure his glances all through dinner, since she would surely blow her cover and blush shamefully, yet she felt a sneaking trace of disappointment creep over her. But she shook the thought and smiled at Lord Hudson whenever he told one of his clumsy jokes. It wasn't until the dessert, that she felt his eyes burning her skin. Just as she was sipping her sherry did her eyes meet his. It was as if everything around them stopped. All of the talking, the laughing, the movements - they were alone in that moment as time stopped, and he looked at her intensely through his dark eyes. None of them were moving, afraid of ending their secret moment too soon. Irina's laughter brought them back to reality. The dinner was over, people started to get up and Irina suggested the'd all go to the music room. His eyes was still locked with her's as she followed the others and walked past him by the door. As soon as she was out of the room, she collected herself and took a deep breath. This was going to be a long night, if she kept up this foolish behaviour.

Violet wasn't used to this. She had of course been used to grand balls and receptions, but these dinner parties were quite different from what she was used to. The music room was almost as big as the ballroom at the Winter Palace, there was a band and people were dancing as though they were celebration something extraordinary. It wasn't that she disapproved exactly, more that she didn't understand. The english wives who's husbands were in Moscow were all gathered in one corner, waving their fans like mad and occasionally gossiping behind it. Violet was with them of course, and spent most of the night turning down various Dukes and Counts who asked her to dance. She didn't feel like dancing, it seemed quite wrong with her husband away, but it clearly didn't stand well with the Russians. They seemed almost shocked that she would refuse them, and in the end Violet felt she had to make her presence on the dance floor. She danced with Count Rostov first, him being one of the few Russians who spoke a bit of english. Then Lord Hudson, and a couple of Russians she didn't know. The wine had started to take affect on her mind. The dance floor started to twirl a bit even when she wasn't dancing, and she surprised herself by laughing out loud at one of Lord Hudson's jokes, which weren't even that funny. The last dance of the night was a somewhat slower waltz than the previous, or perhaps it was just her mind which had slowed down. She was sitting with the english company again, catching her breath and giving herself a few waves with the fan he had given her that first night. She had almost forgotten her previous nerves about the night, when he suddenly stood right before her, extending his arm. "May I have this dance, Lady Grantham?" she looked up at him, and his eyes lit up. "Thank you, your Highness" she answered and took his arm. As they strode onto the floor mingling with the other couples dancing, the english wives behind them folded out their fans once more, and started whispering eagerly behind them. But neither Violet or Igor noticed this, nor did they notice Irina watching them from afar. They saw only each other as they started waltzing to the music. Violet felt so secure, so supported in his strong arms, and every step was so easy. He had said something to her in that moment. Something that made her smile, and then laugh. The wine had certainly gone to her head, because otherwise she would have noticed Irina whispering with that impertinent butler who's name she couldn't pronounce. No, she saw only Igor.

…

She reached her arms out, attempting to grab hold of something solid, anything to prevent her from levitating, to float away from earth, away from him. His grip on her waist was tight, almost painful, yet she felt no pain in this moment. They moved like one, rhythmically and firm. She finally reached the headboard, gripping it till her knuckles turned white, and his one hand came to rest on her bare breast, supporting it as they increased their tempo. As his breaths grew shorter and louder, she felt herself reach the point of ecstasy she had ever only felt with him. He said nothing now, no he was in a trance, physically inside of her, but mentally as well. His eyes bore into her's until she finally couldn't hold it back anymore. Her panting ended in a loud and almost desperate "Yes!" that echoed through the large bedroom. And then she collapsed on top of him. For many minutes they simply laid like that, catching their breaths, Igor stroking her hair which cascaded down her sculptural back. Then he started to stir, trying to change his position so they would lie next to each other, but she stopped him "No! Stay a little longer. Please" he smiled warmly up at her, drawing in her face and kissing her tenderly. "I love you" he said, holding her face between his large hands. And then she rolled off of him, settling herself in his arm. "Yes. This is love, isn't it?" she asked, perhaps herself more than him and he traced her body with his free hand "This is the greatest love I have ever.. I ever will have" then he kissed her again, and she snuggled up against him. It was 5 o'clock, so they couldn't sleep. She would soon have to go, but neither wanted these nights to end. They stayed together till the very last minute, and when she left she felt her legs buckle slightly underneath her. She had never been happier, yet deep down a burning fear was growing, of the day she would have to come to terms with the situation. Even if she tried desperately to ignore it, she knew there was no easy or happy ending to all of this, but as she entered her own room, she decided to stay deliriously happy a little while longer. After all, Patrick still had over a month in Moscow, and that was an eternity. Or at least that's what she tried to convince herself of.