Chapter 2
3 December 2007
A mind-blowing fuck. All night long.
Bilbo rolls his eyes and takes the notepad back. Why he thought Dwalin would be a good person to ask about gift ideas is suddenly beyond him. He quickly scribbles a response while keeping one eye trained on the lifts that lead up to Thorin's office. It just wouldn't do if the man suddenly showed up to find his lover and best friend exchanging notes about potential sexual encounters. Bilbo shows the other man his notepad.
That's what you'll tell him to give me when he asks.
Dwalin only shrugs as he can't argue with that. Bilbo suddenly smirks and adds another thought.
And it wouldn't be anything special. We have mind-blowing sex all the time!
Dwalin scrunches up his nose in disgust. He loves to tease Bilbo and Thorin about their sex life but whenever Bilbo and Thorin start talking about it, he just wants to cover his ears and eyes to block them out. Because then the idea of them shagging becomes very real all of a sudden.
The shorter of the two men shakes his head in amusement. Teasing Dwalin is one of his favourite pastimes. Right after having mind-blowing sex with Thorin.
Well, maybe not right after. But he certainly tries to annoy Dwalin as much as he can. Bilbo lifts up the notepad again.
And a mind-blowing fuck better not be the only thing you get Ori for Christmas.
Dwalin furrows his eyebrows in consternation and rips the notepad out of Bilbo's hands.
Why not?
The smaller man rolls his eyes and grabs the paper back.
Because that's not what he wants. Not the only thing at least
Dwalin clearly has no idea how civilised conversations on paper work because he grabs the pen before Bilbo has completely finished writing (proper punctuation is important and every sentence needs a full stop), and starts scribbling, his body oddly twisting around the shorter man since Bilbo is still holding the notepad.
What does he want? TELL ME!
Bilbo grins. He lifts up his left hand and rubs his fingers together. Dwalin nods eagerly.
Yes, I'll pay you! Just tell me! PLEASE!
Wow, he must be really desperate. Dwalin never uses please. At least not when he is interacting with Bilbo. That is their mutual agreement. No niceties needed.
In that moment a familiar figure steps out of the lift across the hall.
Thorin lets his gaze wander around the room and spots his best friend, the person he was looking for, and, to his surprise, his boyfriend standing a little off to the side, partially hidden by the giant Christmas tree that Dis insists on placing in the entrance hall of their office building every year. Even with his curls hidden underneath a dark blue hat, Bilbo is still very recognisable. He is wearing his bright orange winter coat that makes him stand out from the crowd and gives him the slight resemblance of a giant pumpkin.
Bilbo sees Thorin approaching and waves, the notepad he had used to communicate with Dwalin quickly disappearing in his coat pocket. He skips over to meet Thorin and greets the taller man with a kiss.
Thorin smiles and tugs the hat off Bilbo's head to nuzzle his nose in his lover's curls. He doesn't even care that there could be people watching him, people he works with, potential clients, the gossiping cleaning lady. How could he care about any of these people when there is this lovely, beautiful man wrapped in his arms?
"What are you doing here?" he asks eventually, once they have separated.
Bilbo beams at him. "I missed you. Dwalin sucks. Let's go have lunch."
The taller man glances at his friend. Dwalin has made his way over and is now standing behind Bilbo, his large arms folded across his chest. Thorin sighs. Those two cannot be left alone for two minutes.
He turns to his beloved. "It's barely ten. We can't go to lunch. Don't you have work?"
Bilbo shakes his head but does not offer a detailed explanation.
Dwalin finally loses his patience and clears his throat rather loudly. He glares daggers into the back of Bilbo's head, obviously waiting for the shorter man to turn his attention back to the topic they had been discussing. Realising that the clearing-once throat-to get-someone's-attention method is not going to work on a deaf man, Thorin places his hands on Bilbo's shoulders and gently spins the curly-haired man around to face Dwalin.
Bilbo's shit-eating grin is back and he lifts his hand up to rub his fingers together again. Dwalin groans and reaches into the back pocket of his trousers to retrieve his wallet. He waves a five-quid note in front of Bilbo's face but the short man only shakes his head and raises his eyebrows.
"What are you doing?" Thorin asks from behind him, watching in wonder as his best friend adds another five-pound note to the one already in his hand. Bilbo only gives him an incredulous look.
"What if I said that I'm paying him for sexual favours?" Dwalin grumbles before offering Bilbo even more money. The curly-haired man cocks his head from side to side and then shrugs, grabbing the twenty pounds from Dwalin's large hand and stuffing the notes in the pocket of his orange coat.
"Ori not living up to your standards anymore?" Thorin teases and takes a step back to avoid Dwalin's attempt at punching him. Bilbo uses his distraction to get his notebook back out and make the page he and Dwalin had been using disappear. Better not let Thorin read what they had discussed.
Dwalin is still trying to get a good punch at his friend and Bilbo swiftly steps to the side to give them free range for their upcoming fist fight.
By the time they are done squabbling, Bilbo is almost done with Ori's wish list. Not all items on the list are strictly speaking things Ori actually wants but it is always a joy to see Dwalin get flustered. He adds A mind-blowing fuck. All night long to the bottom of the list and underlines it three times.
With a grin he hands the list over to Dwalin who grabs it eagerly. Before the tattooed man can enquire about details, Bilbo is already halfway across the room, dragging Thorin behind him.
"Lunch now. My treat. I just made twenty quid and I want to spend them."
Dwalin is left to wonder why Ori would want a pair of hot-pink oven gloves and where he can get some.