Entry 24

When I returned to the hut the boys seemed surprised to see me. Eventually Kyler's face broke into a smirk as he made a wide gesture with his arms. "Where are the women? I thought you'd bring us back a harem."

I dropped down on the dirt floor and shrugged. "The guards flew over in a gun platform and broke up the meeting before the raiding party could leave."

"No excuse!" Byson said with a chuckle. "I wouldn't let any Imperials get in my way."

"Said the man in the Imperial prison," Norro pointed out.

Byson glowered at his friend. "If it was me I would have taken out the guards."

Norro snorted and rolled his eyes.

"No, I would. I can just see it now. The gun platform is hovering overhead. I fling a grappling hook up and secure it and then scramble up the rope silently. I creep over the side of the platform and push the first guard over the side while grabbing his blaster. The other guards turn and we get into a blazing firefight. I duck and weave avoiding the blaster bolts until there is only one guard left. We bring up our blasters to fire…and all we hear is click, click, click—both of our charge packs are drained. The large guard gives me a feral grin as he throws down the useless blaster and comes toward me with his bare hands. He thinks I'm an easy kill because he is so much larger…but I surprise him. I reach back into my waistband and pull out a Wookiee crossbow and put a bolt through his head. He screams and tumbles over the side. I then drive the platform to Sister Central and invite the lovely ladies to join me for a ride out of the camp." Byson ended his fanciful story with a broad smile as he wrapped his arms around his body and simulated kissing an imaginary woman.

Norro was laughing so hard I thought he might break a rib. "Stang! There is so much wrong with that story that I don't know where to begin."

"How about the grappling hook?" Kyler said. "Where did you get a grappling hook?"

Byson shrugged. "I may have found some ore in the mountains and smelted it."

"You smelted it?!" Kyler howled in amusement. "Okay, how about the rope?"

Byson thought about it. "I took strips of bark and braided them together."

"How does a person pull a Wookiee crossbow out of their pants?" Norro asked. "First of all, we wear one piece jump suits and second, where would you get the crossbow?"

"From a Wookiee of course." He put up his arms and flexed his ropy muscles.

My eyebrows rose. "You think you can take on a Wookiee?"

He shook his head. "No, a female Wookiee would give it to me the crossbow in payment for sexual favors." He spit on his hands and smoothed back his hair. "You know what they say, 'Once you go human, you never go back'."

"I am pretty sure nobody has ever said that." Norro scoffed. "And I am fairly certain you've never been with an alien."

Byson looked a little sheepish. "Not yet, but I am not adverse to the idea."

That comment prompted a long discussion throughout the night on which aliens were the most desirable and which ones the older boys wouldn't touch with a Force Pike. The least desirable aliens (according to Byson and Kyler) were Hutts, Dianogas, Utai, Ugnaughts, Toydarians and Neimoidians. On the top of the list of sexy aliens were Twi'leks, Zeltrons, Calians and Zelosians. Kyler said Zelosians woud be a cheap date since they get drunk on sugar (outwardly they are completely human, but they have chlorophyll for blood).

"I don't have to shell out credits for expensive drinks. I'd just give her the free packets of sugar that are on the table for the caf drinkers."

Byson preferred Calians because they are an extremely beautiful race of humans...and the fact that these primitive people disliked wearing much clothing probably heightened the boy's infatuation with that particular species.

I laid down on the ground and listened them argue about the subject until I fell asleep.