"Holy shit, that actually worked!" Grif exclaimed, getting up. "Doc, you actually saved someone!"
Washington shook his head, "No, he didn't. You were never dead to begin with. The bullets just paralized you. With a lot of blood."
"So.. Are we going to actually have peace now?" asked Epsilon.
Washington looked at the Reds and Blues, "I assure you, next time the bullets will be much deadlier."
"I actually like living, so let's go with that," Grif nodded.
"So.. anyone wanna say what they're thankful for?" Epsilon asked.
"Dude, that was last month. You have your holidays mixed up," Tucker said.
"Okay.. what about making Christmas trees?"
"We tried that," Washington said. "It didn't end well."
"Which is another way of saying we kicked your little blue butts!" Sarge laughed.
"Yeah. That."
Epsilon shook his head, "Isn't there anything you can do?"
"It's eight days until Christmas," Simmons piped in, "I'm sure we can wait."
"Besides, what can we do?" Tucker asked, "We're in a box canyon in the middle of fucking nowhere!"
"Well, we could... uh... Tucker, help me out here!" Epsilon whispered.
"I just said we can't do anything!" Tucker exclaimed, "We've done everything!"
"You haven't wrapped any presents yet," Grif pointed out.
"Who would want to give you a present?" Tucker asked.
"Hey! I can be a cool guy! Just, you know, when I'm not sleeping or eating.."
"But that's all you ever do!" Simmons pointed out. "When you're not eating, you're sleeping, and when you're not sleeping, you're eating! Even now I can hear you chewing oreos.."
"I can still be fun!" Grif tried to say, "Like that one time I.. Uh.. hmm. Okay, you win this one!"
"It was never a competition!" Simmons shouted.
"Why don't we ask Caboose?" Wash asked.
"Caboose?" Epsilon echoed. "Why him?"
"Despite him being annoying at times-"
"All the time," Tucker cut in, receiving a glare from Washington.
"-He can still have good ideas. And even be kinda fun!"
"Fun?" Epsilon asked. "Okay, who are are you and what have you done to Wash?"
"I'm serious!" Wash tried to say. "He's had good ideas before. Remember the tank one?"
"Wow. Washington's got a point," Tucker said. "Except there's one problem." Everyone looked at him, "Caboose isn't here."
"Then.. where is he?" Epsilon asked.
"I can't see him anywhere," Wash said, looking around.
"I say we find him!" Sarge idealized. "I can't be satisfied if I don't kill every last Blue! Caboose included."
"Glad to see you care," Wash muttered sarcastically. "Let's search the canyon. He's gotta be somewhere."
And so they searched, but no matter how hard they looked, they just couldn't find Caboose. Donut was especially thorough.
"Caboose? Come in, Caboose!" Doc called over the radio. He sighed, "No answer."
"We have to find him!" Epsilon yelled. "He's obviously not in the canyon.."
"So.. road trip?" Tucker asked.
"ROAD TRIP!" Everyone shouted. Sarge ran over to the warthog.
"Wait, seriously? Road trip? To find Caboose?" Grif looked around noticing everyone getting in a warthog. He sighed, "Fine. But only because I don't want to be left alone."
Grif, Sarge, and Simmons took up one warthog. Washington, Donut, Tucker, and Epsilon occupied the other. They left shortly, on a journey to find Caboose, the lost Blue.
"Hey, guys!?" Doc called. "Guys? Anyone?" The purple-clad man sighed, "Assholes."
"You always have me.." Said an all-too familiar voice in the medic's head.
"..O'Malley!?"