Entry 32

I sat on the deck for a few minutes catching my breath as I tried to come to terms with what just happened. Those Sith apprentices were so young. One was only two years older than Norro. The fact that the Emperor and his minions were recruiting children disturbed me. I suppose it was similar to the way the Jedi took children as babies and toddlers to train, but Jedi were educated to defend and protect…not to kill and subjugate.

"Are you well, Jax?" I-Five clanked up along side of me before bending over and picking up the mask I purchased. He held it up and made a sound resembling a snort. "I was unaware that your plans included shopping in the lower levels." He turned the mask around in his mechanical hands. "Is there a reason why you purchased a faux Ruusan Reformation era latex bondage mask?"

"It's not a bondage mask!" I shot back. "It's a common re-breather mask. I was using it as a disguise."

I-Five looked at the mask and back to me before he turned the disguise around and put his metallic finger through a durasteel loop in the back. "First of all re-breathers are made of rubber and not latex and secondly…they usually don't come with a leash ring at the back of the neck."

My face flushed when I realized he was right. The bottom of the mask was actually a studded collar with a restraint loop at the rear. I grabbed the mask out of his hands and scowled. "I was in a hurry and my options were limited."

"A hurry? You mean you didn't purchase the matching leather dungeon dweller trousers?"

I know I-Five is just being his usual smart-mouth self, but I really wasn't in the mood for joviality after watching two teenagers kill each other. "Knock it off!" I said a little too loud and brusquely than was actually warranted…after all, nobody on the ship knew anything other than an Inquisitor spotted me and I managed to evade him. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to explain. I instead stormed toward my quarters. I remember seeing Norro standing off to the side with Magash looking concerned. Sacha tried to talk to me as I walked past her, but I ignored the woman. I soon discovered Sacha is not a female that is easily disregarded. As I walked into my quarters she followed behind right on my heels, so close the door almost hit the back of her head as it slid shut.

I tossed the mask down on the deck and let loose a frustrated breath. "Please leave me alone."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave me a determined look. "Not until you tell me what happened. I may not be a Jedi, but I can feel pain and sadness radiating from you through the Force. What happened?"

I tried to talk but I could feel the control over my emotions faltering. I instead shook my head and turned away.

"Jax, what happened? Are we being followed? Did Vader sense you? We need to know what's wrong."

I heaved a sigh. Of course she was right. If my despondency stemmed from being identified we couldn't go straight back to Toprawa. "I don't think my specific identity was compromised…at least not yet. But after the Inquisitors find two Sith Apprentices killed by a lightsaber in the lower levels they will know a Jedi was on planet." I walked to my small couch and dropped down heavily on the cushions. Sacha sat down next to me and grabbed my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"You killed two Sith?"

I couldn't help but hear the awe in her voice. I gave a scathing chuckle accompanied by a shake of my head. "No they killed each other."

Her brow went up in surprise. "They killed each other? How?"

My jaw tightened and my mouth stretched to a thin grim line. "They were Sith younglings…apprentices. They were barely trained and shouldn't have been given a lightsaber. They came at me from opposite sides and when I jumped out of the way they accidentally sliced each other." I exhaled loudly and dropped my head onto my free hand, my elbow propped on my knee. "One was only fifteen years old. The other boy looked just as young or younger." I turned my head so I could look her in the eyes. "They were children and had to hear one boy cry…sob like a baby as his life blood drained from his body."

I was waiting for Sacha to tell me that it wasn't my fault, they brought it on themselves, that it was either them or me—all of which wouldn't make me feel one iota better—but she didn't. She reached an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a warm reassuring hug. "I'm sorry that happened." She gave me a gentle squeeze. "What can I do to help?"

I tentatively wrapped my arms around her and returned the embrace but soon memories of Laranth flooded my mind. Whenever I was depressed or distraught she would hold me in her arms and reassure me in the same manner. A pang of guilt gripped my heart and I quickly detangled myself from Sacha's arms. She looked disappointed, but, after an awkward pause, she scooted away until we were no longer touching each other. She cleared her throat and stood. "If you ever want to talk about anything. I'm here for you."

I nodded. "Thanks." She moved to step away but I reached out and caught her hand. "Sacha, I want to thank you for helping me on Despayre. I know you are embarrassed by…what you revealed, but don't. I don't want anything coming between us…especially something as trivial as you accidentally seeing something unwanted."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Unwanted?"

I gave her an embarrassed smile. "Seeing my backside."

"Ohhh!" She said quickly. "Yeah, um…I don't want your backside coming between us either." She stopped and thought about what she said. "I don't mean your backside coming between us…I mean seeing your embarrassing backside." She stopped and looked completely flustered. "Not that you have an embarrassing looking backside…it looks great, but having to reveal to strangers and your friends I saw your backside…and then zoomed in…" She turned bright red and turned to depart but my hand still clutched hers. I laughed at her ramblings knowing exactly what she was doing. I stood and faced her with a wide grin on my lips.

"Sacha, I know this discombobulated soliloquy is an act aimed to cheer me up and I appreciate it." I leaned in and gave her a platonic kiss on her cheek. "I guess we should go talk to Den about taking a circuitous route back to Toprawa and maybe changing out our transponder a few times during the journey."

Sacha brought a hand up to where I kissed her and gazed at me slack jawed. I started to wonder if I overstepped my bounds and offended her by my friendly gesture, but she soon returned my smile and walked me to my cabin door. "I'm glad I helped you feel a little better." She reached down and picked up the mask I discarded on the floor earlier. As she turned to me I could see a glint of humor in her eyes. "Did you want this? Or do you want me to throw it away."

I thought about it for a moment. It may be a fake re-breather, but it did appear to fool most residents of Coruscant. I possibly could use it as a disguise again, sans the studded collar. I reached out and took it from her hand. "I'll keep it. I may come in handy one day."

A teasing laugh escaped her lips as she walked out the door. "Let me know if you ever need help with that."

Now it was my turn to blush. "As a disguise."

She chuckled as she walked to the flight deck. "I know that, Master Pavan."

All I could do was shake my head knowing I haven't heard the last of this.