(Disclaimer: Make sure your boyfriend doesn't melt if you hook his head up to the Time Machine.)
Episode 1:2- Rose
"Hey, Rosie!" Mickey greeted Rose at his flat, and they kissed briefly. "Coffee?"
"Only if you wash the mug first," she told him, and grinned teasingly. "Can I use your internet?"
"Sure. Don't read my emails, though!"
She smiled at him, and opened up Google. She first typed in 'Calvin'. Something about a theologist came up, but nothing related. 'Calvin and Hobbes' was next. Some cartoon about a girl and a lion was all that that displayed. She then tried 'Calvin living plastic'. Things about a college for doctors specializing in plastic surgery. Pausing for a moment, she decided to try a bit of a stretch. She carefully tapped in 'Calvin cardboard box'. And that was it. At the top there was a link leading to a page titled 'Calvin Who?' There was a request for people who had seen a person to call a number. She scrolled down, heart in her throat. A photo, blurry, but still recognizable, showed a spiky haired boy clutching a toy tiger.
"He could be dangerous," protested Mickey. They were driving to the house belonging to the website man.
"He's safe. He's got a wife and kids."
"Yeah, who told you that? He did. That's exactly what an internet lunatic murderer would say."
She laughed, as they pulled up at a suburban house. A neighbour was putting out a bin, and he gave Mickey a death glare. Rose walked up to a door, and knocked. A teenage boy answered it, and she smiled at him.
"Hi. I've come to see Dirk?"
The boy gave her a bored look, and called over his shoulder. "Hey, Dad. It's one of your nutters again."
An obvious couch potato came up to the door, and waved. "Hello. You must be Rose?
I'm Dirk."
Rose gave him an awkward smile. "I'd better tell you now, my boyfriends in the car just in case you're trying to kill me."
Dirk waved at Mickey, who scowled through the glass.
"Who is it?" called a woman from inside the house.
"Oh, it's something to do with Calvin. She's been reading the website," he told her, and then started waddling through the house. "Please, come through. I'm in the shed."
The shed was quite something. There were shelves and shelves of books and binders, and pinboards with information and pictures
tacked to them carefully. An old-fashioned computer was balanced on a desk that seemed much too small for its weight.
" A lot of this stuff's quite sensitive," he explained, taking down a few binders and flipping through them. "I couldn't just send it to you. People might intercept it, if you know what I mean. If you dig deep enough and keep a lively mind, this Calvin keeps cropping up all over the place. Political diaries, legends, conspiracy theories, even ghost stories. No last name, just Calvin. Always Calvin, and sometimes Hobbes. And the title seems to have been passed down from father to son. It appears to be an inheritance. That's your Calvin there, isn't it?"
He jabbed a pudgy finger at a black and white photograph of Kennedy's cottage. There was a huge crowd gathered next to it, but a head of spiky hair clearly stood out.
"Assassination of President Kennedy," Rose murmured, tracing the outline of the crowd. Dirk flipped a few more pages.
"1912. The Daniels family of Southampton. And over here..."
The same boy, sitting on a volleyball with his tiger next to him was there.
"This is a sketch from somewhere in the 1800s," Dirk pointed out. "This one washed up on the coast of Sumatra on the very day Krakatoa exploded. Calvin is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there. He brings the storm in his wake and he has two constant companions."
Rose stood up, vaguely creeped out. "Who?"
"That tiger of his, and Death."
You could practically hear the dramatic organ chords in the background.
Outside, Mickey noticed a wheelie bin that was constantly thumping its way closer and closer to him. He rolled down the window and peeked out at it. It stopped promptly. He waved a fist in its direction. The bin didn't move. Mickey rolled up the window again, and put some classical music on. The bin began moving towards him again. This time, he opened the car door, and glared at it. It stopped in its tracks, and he began listening to the radio again.
The bin began moving again.
Mickey slammed open the car door and stormed over to the bin.
"One...two...three!" he counted, and flung open the lid. There was nothing inside. He frowned slightly, and made as if to move away. The plastic came away with his hands. It was stretchy, a bit like melted cheese. Mickey tried to pull away, but the melted plastic stuck fast. He was in a tug-of-war with a wheelie bin, and he was losing. The bin growled, and flexed. It bent almost in half, and flicked Mickey into it, swallowing him with a burp.
Rose made her way out to the car, sighing dramatically. "You were right, he's a nutter. You win! What are we going to do tonight?"
Mickey was obviously plastic, but Rose didn't notice. "P-p-pizza!" he stuttered.
"Or Mexican," offered Rose.
"Pizza!" declared Plastic Mickey, and he started the car. It bumped unsteadily down the road. This Mickey obviously never took driving classes.
Rose was still oblivious to the fact that Mickey was, well, an oversized Ken doll. She was chattering on about herself, not a care in the world.
"Do you think I should try the hospital? Suki said they had jobs going in the canteen. Is that it then, dishing out chips. I could do A Levels. I don't know. It's all Jimmy Stone's fault. I only left school because of him. Look where he ended up. What do you think?"
P-Mickey (that's what we're calling him now) ignored her, and gripped her arm. "Where did you meet Calvin?"
"Oh, that's nice. Wasn't I talking about myself?"
"Because it started at the shop, right? Isn't that what happened?" P-Mickey continued.
"What are you talking about?" Rose demanded, attempting to wriggle her way out of Mickey's grip.
"But you can trust me, sweetheart. Babe," his voice went deep and throaty. "Sugar, babe, sugar. You can tell me anything. Tell me about Calvin and Hobbes and what they're planning, and I can help you, Rose. Because that's all I really want to do, sweetheart, babe, babe, sugar, sweetheart."
"Okay, you're freaking me out."
"Two anchovy pizzas," a waiter announced.
"They're not ours," Rose told him.
"I need to find out how much you know!" P-Mickey yelled.
"Doesn't anyone want these pizzas?" asked the waiter again.
"They're not ours," P-Mickey yelled at the waiter. He was an awfully short waiter. In fact, when the fake Mickey looked down, he noticed...
"Oh. Found you!" the Mickey thing declared. Calvin, dressed as a waiter, grinned darkly, and smashed a pizza plate over its head. Complete with anchovy pizza. Hobbes did the same with the matching pizza, and knocked off his head. Calvin caught it, and stared at it for a moment.
"That won't stop me," the plastic head told him, and the body formed guns on its hands, before starting to shoot. Rose screamed, and backed away. So did everyone else in the room. Hobbes waved at Rose.
"Nice to see you again!" he yelled.
"Yeah, you too!" Rose called back, hitting the fire alarm. "Everyone out! Get out now!"
"Run!" screamed Calvin, and dashed for the emergency exit, shedding his waiter costume as he did. Hobbes and Rose followed.
"So, anything interesting happen with you?" Hobbes asked casually.
"Oh, not much," she replied, still dashing. "Met up with my boyfriend, found a conspiracy theorist who thinks you two are aliens, got attacked by a plastic version of the same boyfriend... the usual, you know."
They ran through the kitchens, and burst out the back door. There was a locked up exit door, and Rose ran to it.
"Open it up!" she called. "Use that thing you used on the cat flap!"
"Transmogrifier Gun, and let's go in here instead," Calvin said, walking over to a cardboard box with 'Time Machine' written on it. He opened the top flaps, and jumped inside. His head disappeared from view, and Hobbes followed suit.
"There's not enough room for all of us in there!" Rose yelled. The P-Mickey was banging on the back door, and slowly breaking through. She looked back and forth desperately, trying to decide, and, abandoning all logic, poked her head into the box.
It was huge. The inside opened up to a vast console room, and Rose was only poking her head into a gap in the ceiling. She stumbled back with a gasp, and walked around the box twice. It was completely ordinary, and, as she picked it up, there was no hole in the bottom leading to an underground cavern. The Plastic Mickey was still working his way through the door, and after two more blasts, made its way through and towards her.
Rose screamed and threw caution to the winds. She dived, feet first into the box, and landed on a trampoline directly below the gap in the roof. She bounced twice, and dismounted. Hobbes looked up from a vast array of complex switches and dials.
"Nice of you to drop in," he said, grinning.
"It's...it's..." she stuttered, gazing around.
"Bigger on the inside? Yes, it is!" Calvin cheered, popping up from beneath the console, holding the plastic head of her boyfriend. "Or you could call it smaller on the outside, but, either way, welcome to the Time Machine!"
"The plastic thing's still up there," Rose reminded them.
"Oh, don't worry," Hobbes dismissed. "The combined forces of Genghis Khan couldn't get through there, and believe me, when we tested that, they certainly tried."
"But Time Machine?" Rose asked. "Couldn't you have thought of something slightly more creative? Like, the TARDIS?"
"What, to stand for Time And Relative Dimension In Space?"
"Yes, exactly."
"Well, why would we call it that? That's stupid. We're calling it the TIME MACHINE."
"You're alien, aren't you," she said in a small voice, and let out a small sob.
"Yes, I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey," Calvin delivered deadpan.
"Really?" she asked.
"God, no, that would be stupid. I'm human, 112%. And Hobbes is 101% Bengal Tiger."
"Mickey's melting," Rose pointed out. Indeed he was. The head was hooked up to a set of wires and switches, and was slowly melting away...
"What? No!" Calvin wailed, flicking some switches. "You can't melt! You're our only lead! Hobbes, get a tracking fix on this!"
"On it," the tiger responded, hitting a button. "Hold on to your seats."
There was a brief jitter, and Mickey's head collapsed into a puddle of plastic.
"Did they kill him? Mickey? Did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?" Rose asked frantically.
"Oooh, I didn't think of that. Quite possibly, yes," Calvin told her.
"We're here," Hobbes sing-songed, and strolled to the trampoline. "See you up there."
"Come on, then," Calvin agreed. Hobbes jumped onto the trampoline, and bounced three times. On the last jump he sailed up and out the cardboard flaps. Calvin did the same.
"You can't go up there!" Rose exclaimed. "It's not safe!"
There was no reply. Rose sighed, and jumped up too.
"It's... moved," she said slowly, looking around. They were on a bridge. "How can it do that? How can it just move? We were over there, weren't we?"
Calvin and Hobbes ignored her, instead choosing to grumble and sulk.
"We lost the signal," he informed her.
"That's all you care about!" she cried. "What am I going to tell his mother! Mickey's mother! My boyfriend is dead!"
"Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey," Calvin began. Hobbes tapped him on the shoulder.
"He's not a kid," the tiger told him.
"It's because I'm trying to save the life of everyone on Earth, okay?"
"Fine!" yelled Rose, throwing up her arms in the air. "What does this plastic have against us, anyway?"
"Nothing, in fact," Hobbes explained. "It loves you. You've got such a good planet. Lots of smoke and oil, plenty of toxins and dioxins in the air, perfect. Just what the Nestene Consciousness needs. It's food stock was destroyed in the war, all its protein plants rotted, so Earth, dinner!"
"How do we stop it, then?"
Calvin withdrew a small vial with blue liquid in it from his pocket. "Anti-plastic."
She began to grin. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. But first, I've got to find it. Where is it?"
"Where is what?"
"The transmitter," Hobbes took over. "The Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic, so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal."
"What does it look like?" Rose was getting into it now.
"Computer," Calvin directed towards a wristwatch that Rose hadn't noticed he was wearing. The watch beeped for a second, and then buzzed.
"Transmitter is round and about the size of two large skyscrapers. It is located in Central London," a woman's calm voice said.
"Thanks, computer. So, where could it be?" he began to stride along the bridge, brow wrinkled in thought. "It's big, round, must be invisible."
Rose and Hobbes shared a glance. He was standing directly in front of the London Eye.
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?" Rose asked Hobbes. He shrugged, grinning with barely concealed mirth.
"Hey, Calvin?" Rose called. He turned. Rose jabbed a finger behind him. He looked, and turned back at Rose. "What?"
Hobbes pointed. He looked, and turned back. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"
Rose and Hobbes stepped up to him, and forcibly turned him around, angling his chin so he could see the massive Ferris Wheel. He stared for a moment before it clicked. "Oh. Brilliant!" he enthused, and ran off.
"Is he always like this...?" Rose asked tentatively. Hobbes nodded mutely.
"Think of it. Every single plastic thing on Earth. Coming alive," Calvin mused.
"The window shop dummies," Hobbes began.
"The plastic trucks," Calvin added.
"The guns."
"The wires."
"The cables."
"The breast implants," Rose put in cheekily. Calvin and Hobbes gave her an odd look. Then Calvin cleared his throat. "Anyway. The transmitter's around here somewhere. Probably underground."
"Somewhere like... this?" Rose climbed down, over a railing, towards a large manhole entrance.
Hobbes wiggled his eyebrows. "Ooh. I like you."
They climbed down a short ladder into a brick-built area with lots of chains draped about. The went through a stone archway and into a multi-level area. The heat rose in waves around them. Rose wiped off some sweat from her brow. Calvin's watch beeped.
"Yes, computer?" he asked.
"The Nestene Consciousness. Currently inside the vat. A living plastic creature," the voice said cooly.
"I like your watch," Rose remarked offhandedly.
"Thanks. Now, I must be off to tip this antiplastic into the Consciousness. Stay here." He set off at a steady pace, down a catwalk, until he was just above the vat of weird flexing plastic stuff.
"I'd like to speak with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful treaty!" he bellowed. The stuff in the vat flexed and moaned. "Thank you."
"What's he doing?" Rose hissed. Hobbes shrugged, and motioned for her to come with him. Rose, having nothing better to do, followed.
"May I have permission to approach?" Calvin asked the vat. It grumbled in affirmative, and he moved forwards, close to the vat. Meanwhile, Rose spotted someone she knew. She dashed towards him.
"Oh my god! Mickey! Are you alright?"
"That thing down there, the liquid. Rose, it can talk!" he gasped. Rose wrinkled her nose.
"Ugh, you stink. Hobbes, they kept him alive!"
"Yeah, that was always a possibility."
Mickey eyed her curiously. "Rose, why are you talking to a stuffed tiger?"
"I'm not talking to a-" she caught herself. "Oh, yes. Well, he's good company."
Down at the vat, Calvin had lunged forwards with the vial of antiplastic, about to pour it in. Hobbes, however, noticed something bad. "Calvin!"
A pair of shop dummies seized the back of the boy's striped shirt just as he was about to drop the liquid in. One of them snatched it from his hand.
"Oh, c-" Calvin began, but shut up quickly. One rule Calvin and Hobbes had when they were travelling was "No swearing. Not even if a deadly alien monster is about to bite your head off."
To make matters worse, a door slid back to reveal the Time Machine.
"What's going on?" Rose yelled.
"It's the Time Machine! The Nestene's identified its superior technology. It's terrified. It's going to the final phase. It's starting the invasion! Get out, Rose; Hobbes! Just leg it now!"
"Damn it," Hobbes growled, getting ready to pounce. The two shop dummies made threatening motions towards him, and he froze.
Rose quickly grabbed her mobile phone, and dialed her mum.
"Mum?" she asked, as the person on the other end picked up. She listened for a moment. "Where are you, mum?" Pause. "No! Just go home! Go home right now!" A longer pause. "Mum! Mum!"
She put it back in her pocket, staring in disbelief. "She hung up."
Calvin was still struggling as the vat of plastic-type stuff started to swirl and glow. "It's activating! Just get out now, Hobbes!"
"The stairs have gone!" he yelled back. They dashed to the Time Machine, and Hobbes fumbled around in a fur pocket. "My key. I lost it."
"Again?" Calvin yelled. "I thought you had learnt your lesson after last time!"
"I know! I'm sorry!"
"No!" Calvin struggled, as he was pushed to the edge of the vat. The Consciousness gurgled.
"TIME LORD," it hissed.
"No! I'm not a Time Lord! Why does everyone think that? It was just a stupid joke!"
Rose stood, fire flashing in her eyes. She thought for a moment, and grabbed Hobbes's arm. She dragged him down a level, and motioned to a chain sitting directly above them. The tiger's eyes lit up, and he interlocked his fingers for her to stand on.
"Three...two...one..." she counted, and he launched her up to grab the chain. She kept a firm grip as she spoke.
"I've got no A-Levels, no job, no future," she muttered. Hobbes raced up to stand next to her. He grabbed the chain and swung her back for momentum.
"But you know what I have got?" she yelled. "Jericho Street Junior School under 7s gymnastic team. I've got the bronze!"
And with that, Hobbes pushed her. The chain sailed through the air, and she, in one swift movement, grabbed the anti plastic, and Calvin. She reached the apex of her swing, directly above the Nestene Consciousness vat, and dropped the vial in. Swinging back, Hobbes caught her, and gave her a massive thumbs up.
"Run!" Calvin cackled, not at all fazed by his close brush with death. They all ran to the Time Machine, Rose dragging Mickey along, and jumped into the vast dimension.
"Woo hoo!" Hobbes cheered, and the box dematerialized.
The box reappeared in the park that Rose had originally walked away from Calvin in. Rose bounded out of the cardboard box, gripping Mickey around the waist. "Fat lot of good YOU were," she told him, giving him a smack on the head.
"Nestene Consciousness?" Calvin grinned. "Easy."
"You would have been dead if it weren't for me," Rose accused them.
"Yes, I would. Thank you. Right then, I'll be off, unless, er, I don't know, you could come with us. This box isn't just a London hopper, you know. It goes anywhere in the universe free of charge."
Rose considered. That little adventure was actually quite a lot of fun.
"Don't go with him," Mickey warned her.
"Is it always this dangerous?" Rose asked.
"Yep," Hobbes responded, popping the 'p'.
"Yeah, I can't. I've er, I've got to go and find my mum and someone's got to look after this stupid lump, so... yeah."
"Alright, then. See you around," Calvin told her awkwardly. He jumped back into the box. It flickered for a moment, and then a wormhole opened up. The box flew into the wormhole and disappeared.
"Give him 5 minutes," Hobbes told her. "He'll realise he forgot me. Again."
He settled against the brick wall. "You know, he really does need someone to travel with. He would have died several times over if it weren't for this girl w picked up a while back. Her name was Susie. Nice girl. Calvin didn't like her much... actually, they were arch-rivals. Frenemies, of sorts. But we had to leave her."
Rose listened to this with a pensive look on her face. The air flickered, and the cardboard box was back. Calvin poked his head out.
"Hey Hobbes! Sorry I left you behind!" he turned to Rose. "Did I also mention that it travels in time?"
"That is the worst pickup line ever," Hobbes muttered behind his paw. Calvin pretended not to have heard. Traveling through time and space in a cardboard box, with a boy and his tiger. "Well," mused Rose . "'I doubt my life would be any more interesting at home, so... why not?".She beamed, and kissed Mickey on the cheek. "Thanks."
"I didn't do anything!" he protested.
"Exactly."
Rose dashed towards the box, and took a running leap in.
To the future.
(A/N:
That took a week to finish. I hope you're happy. I'm definitely working on another chapter, but it may take a bit of time to complete. In other news, I've completed a cover page for this, but fanfiction dot net is being annoying and won't upload it. So, there's a link on my profile to it. Just scroll down to the list of stories, and find the LINKS section.
If you want more Doctor Who fun and games, try Into the Vortex. Fun story, lots of humour and parody.
See you later.
~Kitty)