It's Christmas! Whoo-hoo! I got an Xbox One, but it won't work because some people turned off Xbox live... Ugh. Whatever, you don't care about my life, do you? Anyways, enjoy this chapter which is about the size of four regular ones fro this fic.. Also known as a regular chapter size that isn't lazy. Enjoy!

Simmons looked off into the distance, "Uh.. Shouldn't they be back by now?"

"Man, I don't know," Grif answered, "How far were they going?"

"Well, that small elf guy tied up Wash and stuffed him into a bag.. yeah, we should have probably taken that as a sign that it was a trap."

"Probably."

Tucker ran up to them, "Hey, have any of you seen Wash?"

Simmons looked at him, "We were just talking about that. We haven't seen him since he left."

"Oh, I'm sure he's fine," Grif told him.

"They tied him up."

Tucker held a hand up, "They did what?"

"Tied up Washington and stuffed him into a bag," Grif answered.

"Why didn't any of you tell me this?"

"What are you? The leader?" Grif laughed.

"Well, considering that Wash and Church aren't here, and Caboose is the worst leader ever, yes!"

"Oh.. Well, yeah, he's probably in trouble."

Tucker facepalmed. "Let's just find him.."

"He's probably at the North Pole," Simmons guessed, "It was an elf that got him."

"Okay, well at least one thing has been confirmed," Tucker sighed.

"What?" Simmons asked.

"Santa's a dick."

"We already knew that," Grif pointed out. "He gave me an empty packet of Oreos! Empty!"

"Yes, because Oreos are your life source," Simmons rolled his eyes.

"They are!"

"Guys," Tucker shut them up, "Washington?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, let's do that."

-Line-

"Why do you want us, anyways?" Epsilon asked Santa.

"Oh? I thought that would be obvious," Santa laughed. The AI all glanced at each other.

"Oh, you are fucking kidding me!"

"What?" Church asked. "What is it?"

"You see," Santa said, "There are all these little fragments, parts of a whole, in this one room."

"Are you thinking about what I really hope your not thinking about?" Wash spoke up.

"So, I thought: if we have all of the pieces, then why not put them back together?"

"Yeah.. I'm pretty sure he's thinking about it," Epsilon said.

"Obviously," Wash rolled his eyes. He turned to Santa, "Why? Why go through all of this trouble?"

Santa looked at him, "With year after year of the same thing, it get's boring. Nothing new to do. I needed an.. ambition. And, well, I'm Santa! I have to be creative!" he laughed, "And, well, why not?"

Epsilon, Church, Delta, and Wash glanced at each other, shaking their heads.

"Hey, uh.. wasn't it that Sigma AI that wanted the 'being whole' thing in the first place?" Church asked, earning a nod from the others. "What attribute was he, exactly?"

"Creativity and.. ambition," Wash stopped talking sudden realization dawning on him, "That.. makes a bit more sense."

Epsilon looked at Santa, "Wait a minute.."

"Yeah.." Church trailed off.

"Sigma?" They all asked together.

"Well, then. You've figured it out," Santa laughed, Sigma appearing in front of him.

"Well, fuck."

"Welcome, brothers."

Epsilon looked around, "Something's telling me we aren't going anywhere anytime soon."

-Line-

"Do we seriously have to drive all the way back up here?" Grif complained.

"Would you prefer if the people who have actually kept us alive as long as this were gone, or worse, dead?" Tucker asked the orange-clad man, who sighed in defeat.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Caboose chanted.

"Why did we bring him?" Simmons asked.

"Dude, that guy's like Hercules! Do you know how many elves Santa's got? If it turns out they're all evil and stuff, we could really use him," Tucker pointed out, earning reluctant agreement from the others.

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut up, Caboose," Tucker ordered. "We're here to rescue Wash and Church, and we don't want people knowing where we're going. They'll hear you from Earth if you keep that up."

"Wasn't the North Pole place with Santa and everything supposed to be on Earth?" Grif asked.

"Yeah, well, people were dumb back then. They couldn't even reach Mars!" Tucker laughed.

-Line-

"Wow, that guy put up a fight," Socks said, panting as they finally knocked the purple guy out.

"Yeah, well, what did you expect?" Fred asked. "He had a giant rocket launcher."

"Point taken," Socks nodded.

"Got it! The AI thing!" Sam yelled.

"Let me take that," Tinkles ran up, grabbing it and putting it in a special pocket.

"Yes, boss," Sam sighed.

"So, where do we take this guy?" Fred asked.

"I'll grab him," Tinkleps told Fred, picking the body up and carrying it away, "Socks, Sam, get the ghost!" The two elves nodded picking the ghost up with a bit of effort.

"Uh.. What do I do?" Fred asked.

"Just come back and try not to break anything!" Tinkles said over his shoulder.

"Yes, boss..." Fred sighed. Something inside the little elf said that the one put in charge wasn't exactly the best choice, though he still listened. Tinkles doesn't have enough spirit! He followed the group of elves, entering the workshop. He saw Tinkles set down the purple man and go into the basement. Fred turned away, going in a different direction.

Fred whirled around as he saw a bright light coming from the basement, urging him to go in there and see what was going on. No, I can't! We were told we're not allowed to go in there! Fred turned around, but the shining light still tempted him. He sighed, facing the basement enterence once more. He slowly walked towards it, only to be stopped by Tinkles jumping in front of him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Fred froze, "I-you see-it's-I-Er..."

"What did we say about the basement?" Tinkles asked the smaller elf.

"We must never go in there," Fred sighed.

"Exactly. Only me, Santa, some of the reindeer, and occasionally Mrs. Claus can go in," Tinkles told him. Fred nodded.

"S-sorry.."

"You should be." Tinkles took notice of the light, "Now, I need to put these things in there." He turned over to the purple soldier and carried him into the basement. He then came back out and grabbed the ghost. After that, he didn't come out for a while. Fred sighed, whatever's happening in there better be finished soon. Santa needs to deliver his presents. It's almost time.

-Line-

"It didn't work.." Sigma muttered, as they were rejected being together.

Wash looked it him, "It's like a broken vase. When you break it, it's broken. Even if you have all of the pieces, no matter how hard you try, you can't put it back together."

-Line-

"We're here!" Tucker announced, pointing into the distance.

Grif jumped up, "We are? We are! Finally!"

"We've been driving for hours now, it's about time we got there," Simmons said.

"Yay! We're there!" Caboose exclaimed, "...Where is 'there' exactly?"

"The North Pole. Santa," Tucker explained.

"Oh... okay. Does that mean I can get my present now?"

Grif looked at him, "You already got your present."

"Yeah, crayons, a doughnut, and a picture of Church... which I still don't know how Santa got that," Tucker wondered.

"Okay. Let's just get out," Simmons muttered as Grif stopped the warthog. The four soldiers got out, going towards the workshop. They opened the door and went inside, where all of the elves who were stuffing presents into Santa's bag turned to stare at them. It went like this for about thirty seconds.

"Uh.. Hi?" Tucker waved. The elves blinked at him. One of them walked toward the group.

"Why are you here?" The elf asked.

"Looking for our friend."

"Again? Didn't you already lose a friend here?" The elf stared at him.

"A different friend," Grif clarified.

"Well, the only guy in any relation to you we saw here was some purple-armored guy who tried to kill us!"

Tucker looked at him, "Purple? Wait, that's Doc."

"The elf said he tried to kill them," Simmons pointed out. "That doesn't sound like Doc. And it can't be Dr. Grey because she was in Blue Base when we left."

"He called himself O'Malley, if that's any help," The elf told them.

"O'Malley?" Caboose asked, "Oh... Is that the surfer guy back at Sidewinder?" Everyone gave the Blue odd looks.

"Wait, O'Malley?" Grif echoed, "That explains it. O'Malley must have infected Doc and came here to kill the elves so the kids wouldn't get any presents!"

"Probably something like that," Simmons agreed.

"Where is he?" Tucker asked.

"Tinkles took him into the basement, but no one's allowed in there," The elf told them.

"Well, you heard him! To the basement!" Tucker went towards where he thought the basement was.

"W-wait, you can't.." The elf stopped, "Actually, yes, go in there! I think there's something wrong going on that needs to be fixed!"

"That what we're doing!" Tucker said.

"Oh, and I'm Fred by the way!"

"Bye Frood!" Caboose said, getting the name wrong. The group entered the basement without knocking, and saw another door in front of them that was locked.

"Caboose?" Tucker looked to the Blue.

"Hello!"

"Can you break through this door?"

"Break through it? But that is not a nice thing!"

"I'm not going to deal with this," Tucker muttered. He pushed Grif and Simmons behind Caboose, "Caboose, begind that door are spiky kittens, Tex robots, and tax collectors."

"Wait, I thought we didn't know what was behind the-" Grif was cut off.

"Shut up, I'm trying to make him an-" Tucker couldn't finish his sentence, as Caboose had broken through the strong metal door as if it were butter. "-gry. Wow, that worked perfectly!"

"I hope he isn't angry when we enter," Grif hoped. They walked in, and the first thing they was a lot of AI who seemed to be in conversatile, who turned to star at them. Whatever anger Caboose had left.

"Church!" He squealed, running over to Epsilon. He then turned around and spotted something else. "Other Church? Two Churches!"

"Two Churches?" Grif and Simmons asked each other at the same time. They did indeed spot two.

"What? What is this?" Santa asked, stumbling back, glancing around.

"Looks like we found your little operation, Santa!" Tucker laughed.

"Operation?" He echoed.

"Don't play dumb with us. It's obvious you took all of these AI for some master plan," Tucker said.

"I don't know what you're talking about! What's going on?"

"Uh... Does he, like, remember any of this?" Grif asked.

"He doesn't seem to..," Simmons answered.

"Tucker?" Church asked.

"Yes, Church?" Tucker realized what he had just said, "Wait.. Church? Why are there two of you? Are you not dead, then?"

"I never was. Why do people keep thinking that!?"

"Caboose told me."

Church stared at him, "You're listening to Caboose?"

"..Shut up."

"Are you going to untie me or will you just leave me here to die?" Wash asked.

"Oh, right!" Tucker ran over to untie Washington. "Sorry, but seeing someone again who you thought was dead can be a little distracting."

"What are we going to do about him?" Simmons pointed to Santa.

"Nothing," Wash answered. "It wasn't really him doing this in the first place. Besides, it's late. Doesn't he have presents to deliver?"

Santa jumped up, "The presents! Dasher! Prancer! Come on!" He dashed out of the basement as fast as he could.

"Bye, Santa!" Caboose waved.

"So, what are we gonna do about all these AI?" Tucker asked.

"I don't know. Let's just take them bake to the canyon and figure out what to do then," Wash got up. "You have room for me, right?"

"It'll be a bit cramped, but yeah," Tucker nodded.

"What about Doc?" Grif asked, pointing to Doc.

"We'll find somewhere. Let's just get out of this place."

-Line-

"And this one's for you, and this one's for you!" Donut said, handing out presents. It was Christmas Day at last, and no worries were to be had for the Reds, Blues, and AI.

"Thanks, Donut," Tucker thanked, taking his. I wonder what it is? I mean, Donut wrapped it. Surprisingly well, actually.

"Finally, I'll be able to kill Grif!" Sarge sighed in relief, "I thought that truce thing would never end!"

"Tomorrow," Wash said, "Tomorrow."

"Whatever."

"Let's just enjoy this moment, because we honestly don't get many of them," Epsilon said.

"It is nice to finally have Christmas here. We should enjoy it," Wash agreed.

"Yeah," everyone agreed.

"I'll go get the chocolates!" Dr. Grey got up, running off."

"Hopefully we can have at least a little peace this year," Wash sighed.