Entry 40

On the return flight to Toprawa I found myself depressed and defeated. We not only didn't find survivors from the Rebel group, we discovered the Imperials were willing to destroy and entire village just to kill one Jedi Knight. It makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing in training new Padawans, making them prime targets for the Empire and endangering everyone around them. Maybe Obi-Wan Kenobi knew this. Perhaps that's why he decided it was best to hide and not call attention to himself.

Den and I-Five were currently on the flight deck leaving me alone in our cabin to sulk. I was sitting on my bunk with my back against the wall and my knees pulled up to my chest. After about an hour of quiet reflection there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in."

Sacha entered the room closing the door behind her. "What's wrong? Are you upset that we didn't find survivors or that the Temple was completely ransacked and devoid of anything useful?"

I sighed deeply. "That's it...mainly."

"Mainly?" Sacha walked over and sat down on my bunk, shifting her weight until she was sitting next to me. I wanted to tell her to go away, that I wanted to be alone, but I didn't have the energy. We sat there silently for a long moment before she reached over and patted my leg before giving it a squeeze. "What else is bothering you?"

I looked away becoming uncomfortable with the conversation. I didn't want to tell her I may abandon her training for her own good. When I didn't respond she sighed deeply before dropping her hand from my leg. "I thought I was your apprentice. You told me the Master-Padawan relationship is close, as close as family." She waited for a response and I could sense her irritation when I didn't give her an answer. "Jax Pavan, look at me." She sounded so much like a mother scolding her son that I had to chuckle. Poor Norro better not give her any problems. "What's so funny?"

I turned back to her. "You sound like you're talking to Norro."

She gave me a harsh glance. "Well, if you start acting like a Jedi Knight and not a despondent little boy, then I wouldn't have to speak to you in that manner. Jax, just tell me what's bothering you."

I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment before deciding to let her know. "I'm now second guessing my decision to train Jedi. I could be endangering everybody if the Empire has discovered a way to detect Force sensitives. Dantooine is so far from the core that Jedi Grey should have been able to live out his life in anonymity. I think the Imperials have the ability to search and find Jedi Knights."

"How would they do that?"

I thought about it for a while. "The Jedi Order would take a blood sample from Jedi candidates and test for something called midichlorians. The higher the midicholorian count the more Force ability the person would have." I paused in thought. "If the Imperials found a way to check for the presence of midichlorians in the air…perhaps from sloughed off skin cells or other bodily fluids they could have sent out probes to various planets to sample the air and report its findings."

Sacha gave a slight shrug. "Or they could have really good intelligence and Jedi Grey got sloppy. It's also a possibility that a Inquisitor was passing by and simply sensed his presence in the Force."

I groaned as I leaned my head back to rest against the bulkhead. "That's just as bad. If the Inquisitors are becoming stronger in the Force, soon they may be able to sense us on Toprawa. We might be leading the Imperials right to the Antarian Ranger's main base."

"So what do you suggest?"

I shook my head unsure of the answer. "Perhaps I can return Magash to Dathomir. The Empire is aware of the witches' existence and hasn't attempted to wipe them out. She should be safe."

"And what of us?"

"Us?"

"Yes, us." She rolled her eyes impatiently. "The other two Force sensitives in our group. If we're putting the Rangers in danger we shouldn't go back. We should leave and disappear. We can watch each other's backs and go somewhere where innocent civilians won't be in danger."

She was making a lot of sense, but then I thought about Norro. I didn't want to abandon the boy. If I am correct he's also a Force sensitive. He would have to leave with us. I exhaled loudly as I realized I-Five had promised my father that he would stay and protect me. He would never willingly leave my side. And then there's Den. He and I-Five are such close friends I couldn't see those two separating. "Norro, Den and I-Five would insist on joining us."

"Then let them. We can pick up Norro then take off for parts unknown."

I rubbed the tense muscles in the back of my neck. "I need to talk to the Ranger leadership before I make a decision."

"Fair enough." She moved to the edge of the bed and then stood. "Worrying about this won't make things better. In fact it might produce enough strong emotions that Vader or an Inquisitor might pick up your brooding."

She cocked her head toward the door. "Come on out and eat. Magash is making a traditional Dathomiri recipe involving meat marinated in some sort of harsh alcohol mixture. I think it is whisky, grain alcohol and hot spices."

"That sounds good." I stood and followed her to the door. "You know what they say, 'the way to a man's heart…is by way of a bantha steak smothered with mind altering booze and hot sauce.'" I gave her a wink. "Or at least that's how I think it goes."

She gave me an obviously fake look of surprise. "Is that it? I thought it was through sex and tickets to the Smashball Holodome playoffs."

"That'll work also." I grinned as I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Do you have Smashball Holodome playoff tickets?"

She gave me a forced smile and dismissive wave of her hand. "I don't know what to do with you."

I followed her out the door still smiling. "So does that mean you're not bringing me to the playoffs?"

I laughed when she playfully poked her elbow into my ribs. I have to admit, She always finds a way to cheer me up. I like our relaxed playful banter. It reminds me of the good times when Laranth and I would sit in our cabin and talk to each other for hours.

My smiled slipped slightly at the thought of my lost love, but my slide into depression didn't last long. Just then Magash gave Sacha a taste of the marinade. Seeing Sacha turn bright red while running around the galley screaming for water and cursing the Dathomir Witch got me laughing again. I don't think I could ever abandon this group of friends no matter how difficult the Emperor and Vader made my life.

We're a family and family sticks together.