Entry 45

Our mission to Alderaan has begun. We traveled to the core-world planet aboard our ship, but flying under a falsified transponder nameNyast.

We exited hyperspace and moved into the planet's orbit. Alderaan is a beautiful world, a blue and green jewel of the galaxy. Everything I have read about the planet was amazing. It is the realm of poets, artists, and chefs catering culinary delights. I would love to spend time there as a tourist, but I know that's impossible. Every minute I remain on planet is dangerous.

I waited on the flight deck feeling extremely uneasy in my crisp blue and red ceremonial uniform worn by Kwarron royalty. Sacha looked equally uncomfortable in her blue, floor-length, lace up gown made of expensive taffeta. Den and Magash were at the ship's controls wearing standard pilot garb. I-Five was in his police chassis and played the part of a security droid. I thought it might be suspicious that we arrived to the planet in a less than royal ship, but Aren told me many high ranking officials will often fly in unassuming spacecraft to avoid pirates. I can only hope we can blend in with the hundreds of royal visitors arriving at the capital spaceport.

After getting clearance to land we exited the ship and stood in a short queue designated for dignitary visitors. Our fake visas and identifications were barely looked at while we passed through port was extremely busy with a constant flow of ships arriving and departing. Sacha and I went alone, leaving the rest of the crew with the didn't need a Sullustan, Zabrak and police droid drawing attention to us. We arranged for our luggage to be shipped to our hotel before we hailed a taxi and traveled to exclusive accommodations near the royal palace.I don't know where Aren and Degan got the credits to pay for this type of extravagance, but it emphasized the importance of this could have purchased a spacecraft with the credits they spent just on clothing and lodging.

After checking into our hotel Sacha and I took a lift to the upper levels of the building. When I opened the door to our room Sacha gasped at the grandeur before she caught herself and slipped back into character. We closed the doors behind us and gapped at the splendor of the suite. The interior was decorated in rich hues, from the silk wall coverings to custom drapery. Inside was a stocked wet bar, a huge holonet projector, two terraces, sweet smelling bouquets of flowers sitting on posh side tables, and in the middle of the chamber was a large king sized bed with a leather headboard, fur throws and accent pillows. The extravagance was overwhelming for somebody who once pursued an austere life in the Jedi Temple and later, after Flame Night, spent months living in abject squalor in the lower levels of Coruscant.

"Wow," was all I could say and remained slack jawed until I made a conscious effort to close my mouth. I slowly walked around the room taking in its beauty. I turned to Sacha. "The party is tomorrow. What do you want to do until then?"

"We should probably stay hidden away. We don't want to blow our cover prior to the party." Sacha walked over to a door within the suite and peered in. "Jax! Look at this tub!"

I went over to where she was pointing. Inside the expansive 'fresher was a huge bathtub big enough for six people. I moved further into the room and noticed it was a whirlpool tub with multiple jets around the interior. There was also a toilet within the room and next to it was a strange contraption that looked like a cross between a sink and a toilet. I knelt down next to the strange fixture and turned a knob located at the back of the porcelain bowl. Immediately a stream of water shot up from a spray nozzle at the bottom of the basin. "I think this is a bidet. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one."

Sacha made a face. "If you want to drink from that gross water fountain, go ahead, be my guest. I'm going to stick to the complementary sparkling wine I saw in the main room."

I laughed. "It's not a water fountain."

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned in concentration. "Then what is a bidet for?"

I looked back at the 'fresher fixture and tried to figure out the best way to describe what it did. "After you use the toilet you transfer over here to this bowl and…sort of squat…and um…turn on the water and clean your…"

"Your what? What is it supposed to clean? Is it like the emergency eye washers in the maintenance wing?"

My eyes narrowed as I stood. "You know exactly what this is, don't you? You just like to see me squirm."

She broke out in laughter. "Sorry Jax, but you turn such a lovely shade of red when embarrassed." She went over to the bidet and pushed a button causing a stream of warm air to shoot out from the sides of the basin. I assumed this was used to dry one's backside. "It can also act as a hairdryer," she joked.

"Funny."

"Oh, bathrobes!" Hanging on the wall were expensive looking white wraps with the hotel's crest embroidered on the front. "I'm going to get out of this horrible dress." She turned her back to me. "Can you get the zipper?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sure." I quickly unzipped her dress and then swiftly exited the 'fresher making sure to close the door on my way out. I unbuttoned the stiff collar of my uniform and went to the bar to pour myself a drink. I took a swig of whiskey and shuddered. I was never much of an alcohol drinker, but I needed something to steady my nerves. I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I knew I might end up spotted by Imperial spies or Sith Inquisitors, but right about now being alone in a hotel room with a gorgeous woman was making me more nervous than a Sith or Stormtrooper ever could.

Ever since that day we danced together, I've been having a hard time getting Sacha out of my head and now I find myself flustered around her. While training for this mission I would catch myself staring at her, admiring her porcelain smooth face framed against her silky black Sacha would sense my ogling and would turn to me and smile. This usually resulted in me forcing my attention from her and to anything else in the room. I'm sure at this point she believes I have a bizarre fascination with the top of my boots.

I slugged down another drink before removing my high collar uniform jacket and tossing it over the back of a nearby chair. I tucked my undershirt into my trousers as I explored the amenities of the room. I turned when I heard the 'fresher door open and my heart nearly stopped when Sacha came out wearing only the bathrobe. I later discovered she had undergarments on underneath, but the damage was done. My mind went blank as my pulse pounded, my stomach fluttered, and I felt a strange tightness in my chest. I wasn't sure how I would survive the night.

I jumped when the entry chime rang and I ran over to the door, thankful for the distraction. Outside was a porter delivering our luggage.

"Good," I said to Sacha with a grin. "I've been wanting to get out of these heavy wool trousers for the longest time."

"Same here." She a paused and then clarified. "I mean I couldn't wait to get out of my dress...not to see you out of your trousers."

I had to smile. "I know what you meant."

I changed into casual shorts and tunic. Sacha, to my relief, put on a more modest outfit consisting of shorts and shirt, but she kept the bathrobe on over her attire.

We had a nice night. We ordered room service and had a fantastic dinner delivered to our room. We drank the complementary sparkling wine and then watched a holovid. It must not have been a very good flick because we both fell asleep on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night with Sacha's head propped on my shoulder. I slowly stood making sure she didn't fall over. "Sacha. Wake up." She definitely drank a little too much wine because she was in a deep, deep slumber. I gently lifted her off the couch and carried her to the enormous bed. I used the Force to pull back the covers and I slipped her in between the sheets. I readjusted her bathrobe to maintain her modesty before covering her up. I looked over to the leather couch and then to the roomy bed. I planned to sleep on the couch, but that didn't look comfortable. I went to the other side of the bed and climbed in. There was almost two meters between Sacha and me, so I assumed she wouldn't be too upset by the sleeping arrangements. I closed my eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Entry 46

Last night I had the most amazing dream. I was once again with Laranth. We were holding each other, caressing…kissing. It was such a sweet dream that I never wanted to wake up. It wasn't until I heard Sacha's confused voice that I was ripped from my slumber. "Jax? Are you awake?"

I opened my eyes and realized I was snuggled up next to Sacha with my arms wrapped around her body. I immediately let go and jumped to the other side of the bed. "Force Sacha! I'm sorry. I was dreaming of Laranth."

She sat up and tightened her bathrobe while looking at me sadly. "I know. You kept repeating her name."

I sat on the far edge of the bed and buried my head in my hands. "Oh Gods! I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be."

I shook my head. "No…I almost…I wasn't aware….I was dreaming."

"I know Jax." Her voice sounded strained. I could tell she was irritated and I couldn't blame her.

"I'll sleep on the couch from now on.I'm so, so sorry."

She shook her head. "It's okay."

"No it's not okay," I sputtered. "Thank the Force you woke me up. I feel terrible about all…"

"Jax!" Sacha barked impatiently. "Don't get weird on me. I'm not mad. I don't mind."

"How could you not mind?" I asked incredulously. "I practically molested you. If I didn't wake up…I don't know what would have happened."

She gave me a roll of her eyes. "Jax, I'm not helpless. If your advances weren't wanted I am sure a swift punch to the groin would have saved my virtue."

"What?" I was confused by what she said. "If my advances weren't wanted?" I whispered. "What do you mean?"

She looked away and I saw a blush color her face. "I thought I made things very clear to you, but you don't seem to take a hint." She looked back at me and smiled softy. "I like you, Jax."

I heard her words, but the meaning didn't sink in. My mind was still reeling from the predicament I got myself into. "I like you too, Sacha."

She exhaled loudly as if frustrated. "Jax, I really, really like you." She closed her mouth and I could tell she was struggling with some internal conflict. "I'm interested in you."

When I didn't say anything she continued. "Interested in like maybe dating, getting to know each other on a more…intimate level." She shook her head in disbelief. "Are you the only one who hasn't figured that out yet? Why do you think I-Five kept pushing our hips together while we learned to dance? Magash even decided to help me out by prompting us to slow dance. Den said we looked awkward and encouraged us to hold each other tighter. They all know I'm interested in you." She stopped talking and stood, tightening her robe and turning away from me.

"I'm sorry. Obviously I didn't know." It was true; I really didn't have a clue…although now a lot of things were making much more sense such as Sacha asking Magash for dating advice, or Sacha always trying to talk or comfort me. I don't know why I didn't see it…unless I didn't want to see it. Laranth's death had me tied up in knots. I was so emotionally damaged by my loss that I stopped noticing a lot of things around me. "Sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you."

She gestured in a sad way. "It's my fault…and now things are extremely awkward between us."

I took a couple deep breaths trying to clear my head and stop the fluttering in my stomach. "Sacha, don't feel awkward. This is my fault for being so dense."

"I should have made my intentions clearly known." She fidgeted with her bathroom sash before continuing. "I should have been more obvious."

I thought back to all the missed signals and, to be truthful, in hindsight I don't know how she could possibly have been more obvious. I gave her a warm smile. "I guess you could have put a rope around my neck and claimed me as your own."

She spun around with a gasp. "Did Magash tell you she told me that?"

My grin grew wider. "No it was Den and I-Five."

Sacha blanched. "I'm going to kill them."

I chuckled and walked over to her hoping to rectify this situation. "Sacha, you are beautiful and funny and kind. I love being around you. You make me feel happy. You know how to comfort me. To be honest, if I wasn't mourning the loss of my first love, it would be me pursuing you."

It didn't look like she believed me. "Really?"

"Really." I embraced her tenderly and put a chaste kiss on the top of her head. "I don't want to lose you as a friend."

Tears pooled in her eyes. "You won't."

"Sacha, when I feel…that I can move on from my loss. I guarantee you will be the first one to know…and then I-Five will probably overhear and tell the rest of the gang."

She laughed before burying her head into my chest. "I can wait."

"Good." I looked at the chrono on the bedside table and realized it was still in the middle of the night. "Let's go back to bed. I'll sleep on top of the covers."

"You don't have to do that."

"No, I do. I don't trust myself with such a stunning woman in my bed." I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

Sacha blushed a deep crimson. "Good night Jax. Sweet dreams."

"The same to you." I laid down on the top of the covers as she slipped between the sheets. It took me a very long time to fall asleep with Sacha's words repeating in my head.

'She likes me.' I finally drifted off to sleep with a smile on my lips.