Entry 49

I woke up the next morning feeling incredibly nervous and worried that we rushed things. I am a trained Jedi, I know what a Force bonding can do to people, how it can cause overwhelming emotions capable of influencing their judgment. When Laranth and I experienced a similar Force connection we both understood what was happening and we were able to make a conscious decision to enter a relationship. But with Sacha, I worry that the experience might have clouded her decision-making abilities. What if she woke up and felt differently than she did last night? A Force-bonding can be as mind-altering as spice. I'd hate to think I took advantage of her.

I sat up slowly in bed trying not to wake the woman lying next to me. I looked down at my unclothed body and quickly pulled a sheet over my lap. I don't know why I was feeling modest now after the amazing night we shared, but I am. I looked over the edge of the bed and reached over to grab my underwear. The movement of pulling on my briefs woke Sacha. She rolled over in bed and looked momentary puzzled to see me sitting next to her. I guess it took a few seconds to remember what transpired last night. She blushed and pulled the sheets up to her chin protectively while giving me a nervous smile. "Hi."

It was a very weak greeting considering everything that happened last night, but it succeeded in breaking the tension. I chuckled warmly. "Hi."

She averted her eyes shyly. "I know, that sounds like were are a couple of secondary school kids waking up hung over and naked and not knowing what to say."

"Yeah," I whispered. "That's understandable. After all, this is new for us." A flash of uneasiness ran through me as I once again wondered if we consummated our relationship prematurely. "Maybe too new."

She looked at me guardedly. "New is not bad. What's wrong?"

"Do you think we did the right thing?" I asked. It was a fair question. Last night was special, but it shouldn't have happened…at least not the way it did. We went from friends to lovers in a matter of minutes. Sacha and I never even dated. If this doesn't work out I would have destroyed a wonderful friendship.

Her smile drooped when she saw the look on my face. "Jax…do you regret last night?" Her words came out in a broken whisper and I could feel her heartache through the Force.

"No. No. I just hope we didn't rush things, that's all. I don't want to lose you as a friend."

Her body visibly relaxed. "Worrying about it is not going to change the fact that we did what we did. We can't alter the past. Our relationship has forever changed."

"How do you feel about that?" I ventured. "The change of our relationship, that is."

"I had a wonderful night. I want to continue on this path…unless you don't want to."

I reached out and stroked her cheek. "I…I want to be with you."

"Good, because I want to be with you also." She turned her head and kissed the palm of my hand. "Can you hold me? I feel safe in your arms."

"Sure." I pulled her into my embrace and then settled back down in the bed. I dragged the covers over us and held her tightly as I reached up and stroked her shoulder length black hair. "What do you want to tell the crew when they come to pick us up today?"

"I don't see it as any of their business," she murmured in my ear before nipping lightly on my earlobe. "They'll figure it out eventually."

I closed my eyes and relished the feel of her warm naked flesh against mine. "I'm sure everything will work out fine."

Entry 50

We checked out of the hotel and took a taxi to the docking bay where our ship was be waiting. We wore common clothing having packed away all the fancy garments purchased for this mission. When we arrived to the docking bay I paid the driver and hauled our heavy bags out of the speeder. On the walk to the ship I could feel Sacha's anxiety quicken. I glanced at her and smiled. "Just relax. It's not like we have big letters on our foreheads proclaiming, 'I had sex'."

She laughed as she lowered her eyes. "I hope the crew doesn't tease us too much."

"Oh they will!" I said with a laugh. "That's why I would rather not tell them right away. I want them to see us together and let them get used to the idea. If they aren't shocked, then they might go easy on us."

"Pssff." Sacha blew out a breath letting me know she didn't believe that for a second. "They're going to tease me more than the time I saw your birthmark on your butt or you buying a gimp mask."

"It was a rebreather," I insisted.

"Sorry, your domination rebreather mask."

I glared at her, but then broke into a smile. "The store clerk lied to me."

"If you say so."

The boarding ramp lowered as we approached the ship and Den walked down from its interior. When he observed our relaxed gait he smiled. "It doesn't look like we need to do an emergency departure. Did everything go well?"

"It worked out better than I anticipated." I hauled our luggage up the ramp and set the bags down in the storage bay. Den and Sacha followed close behind. "Lock her up and request departure clearance. There is no need to tempt fate." I looked at Sacha and gave her a weak smile. So far so good.

It took about a half hour but we finally received permission to take off. Den and Magash were on the flight deck. Den had decided Magash should learn how to fly a spacecraft. He is big on everybody being cross-trained so if any of us are incapacitated another crewmember could take over their duties.

"You don't have to strangle the steering yoke," Den admonished Magash. "Your knuckles are turning white. Grasp it loosely." Magash took a cleansing breath as she focused on lifting the ship off the bay floor and maneuver it thorough the massive docking bay ship wobbled but then straightened and flew smoothly out of the building and into blue skies of Alderaan. Den smiled widely. "You're doing great."

I left those two to fly the ship and went back to the galley where I found I-Five back in his Human Replicate Droid chassis. "You are favoring that droid body."

I-Five's lips curved into a smile. "I do favor it. It is easier to interact with others in this form. I have discovered that humans and near humans use facial gestures to augment their verbal communications. I am attempting to master the art of non-verbal communication." Suddenly I-Five's expression darkened as his eyebrows drew together in a scowl.

I stared back at him perplexed. "Are you mad at me for some reason?"

A wide smile crossed his face. "Excellent. That is my angry expression. I trust it was convincing."

I had to laugh. "Yes…that was really good."

I-Five and I talked as I made a meal for the crew. Sacha came into the galley a few times. Often our eyes lingered upon each other, but we said little. I didn't trust myself to keep this secret safe. I was positive my voice would crack or I would stumble over my own words when addressing her.

As we ate Sacha and I discussed the mission with the rest of the crew. I did omit some key facts, like Leia Organa's true identity. I decided the less people who knew, the better. I also omitted any information concerning the intimate encounter between me and Sacha.

I was so cocksure that I fooled everybody that I was surprised when I was accosted by I-Five and Den as we retired to our cabin for the night.

Den bounced on his bunk looking like and eager schoolboy. "I want details!"

I raised my brow in my best look of confusion. "Details about what?"

I-Five laughed upon seeing my expression. "That's an awful rendering of surprised confusion. It should look more like this." He then raised his eyebrows, widened his eyes and let his jaw drop. He held that pose for a few seconds before his expression turned to a cocky grin. "Please disclose the details of what happened between you and Sacha."

I shook my head. "I don't know what details you are talking about."

Den chuckled. "You had to pretend you were a married couple, you stayed in a hotel room which I presume had only one bed, and you two were all alone. Don't tell me that wasn't awkward."

"Or titillating," I-Five offered.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but nothing happened."

Den looked to I-Five who was scrutinizing me. "Is he telling the truth?"

I-Five shook his head. "He is being deceptive."

"Ha! I knew it!"

I frowned at I-Five. "And how can you possibly know that?"

The human replicate droid leaned against the wall and crossed his arms across his chest. "Because I have known you long enough to determine a baseline reading when it comes to your bodily reactions to stress. My eyes are capable of not only sensing the visible light spectrum but also infrared. I can see heat changes in your body. Whenever you lie your face increases in temperature by a fraction of a degree. Your eyes also dilate and there is an increased production of perspiration in the area of your hands, temples and underarms."

I refused to confirm or deny anything. "You believe what you want." I went to my bunk and sat down and began removing my boots. My head flew up when I heard something that sounded like a woman screaming. "What was that?"

I went to stand but I-Five motioned for me to sit and then cocked his ear against the wall. "That was not a scream of distress. Although I am not one hundred percent certain I believe that was Magash giving out a very un-Dathomiri squeal of surprise." He turned back to me and chuckled. "In fact I have never heard Magash make such a noise. Sacha must have told her something very interesting."

I gave a dismissive shrug of my shoulder. "She probably just showed her some of the jewelry lent to us for the mission."

Den let out a barking laugh. "I really can't see Magash gushing over jewelry." He glanced over to I-Five. "Do you?"

I-Five didn't answer but instead pressed his ear to the wall as a wide grin spread across his face. "Sacha is telling Magash a very interesting story."

I stood and tried to pull the droid away from the wall but he slapped my hands away with a laugh. "Magash is now asking about your sexual prowess."

"Oh Gods." Den rolled on his bunk clutching his side while laughing hysterically.

"She did not." I protested. "Please I-Five, give the ladies their privacy."

The droid listened for a few more seconds before he pushed away from the wall and walked across the room. On his artificial face was the perfect self-satisfied look of a person who knows a secret.

"What did Sacha say," Den asked when he caught his breath.

"I'll tell you later. I don't want to destroy Jax's sense of manhood."

I know he was trying to bait me, but I was too angry to care. "She didn't say anything derogatory about me…did she?"

I-Five shook his head. "I don't want to evade their privacy…although those two women are very comfortable discussing very…" He gave a dramatic pause. "Intimate details to each other."

"If they can have girl-talk, why can't we have guy and droid talk?" Den grinned at me expectantly.

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "What Sacha says to Magash is her business. I have nothing to say."

"Well in that case," I-Five returned to the wall separating our two cabins and pressed his ear to the wall. He then turned and raked his gaze up and down my body. "Sacha obviously does not have a firm grasp of measurements and dimensions."

"That's it!" I stood and walked out of the cabin. I went down to the flight deck and dropped down into the captain's chair. About an hour later Sacha joined me. She sat in the co-pilots seat looking sheepish. "Magash got the information out of me."

I sat quietly for a few minutes before I started to laugh. "She was alone with you for what…five minutes before you cracked?" I turned to her and smirked. "You better not be picked up by Inquisitors because you are terrible at keeping a secret."

She gave a slight shrug of her shoulder. "I assume you told I-Five and Den."

I shook my head. "No…I didn't have to. I-Five has very sensitive hearing and picked up your entire conversation. I left the cabin, not wanting to know the details, but I'm sure Den has the whole story by now."

Her jaw dropped. "He heard everything?"

"I don't know, I think so."

She put her hands over her face and groaned. "Are you sure his deactivation programing was altered to be non-responsive."

I laughed. "Don't joke about that."

She closed her eyes and sighed before she stood, walked over to me and kissed me on the lips. "No need to hide it, if everybody knows."

I grinned as I grabbed her around the hips and pulled her down on my lap. "No reason at all," I whispered before bringing my lips to hers for a warm, lingering kiss