Episode 8:2- Father's Day

"I know that van!" Pete exclaimed suddenly.

"What?"

"That white van! It's been following me around all day!"

The white van came around the corner, from the exact same direction.

Rose frowned at it. "That can't be right..."

The van was the exact same one that had almost run over Pete Tyler earlier that day. The one that should've killed him. But it didn't.

"We're going to die," Pete realised. "Oh, god, we're going to die."

"You should have died," Rose said without thinking, then clapped a hand over her mouth. Pete turned to her sharply.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"It's obviously not nothing!"

"Well, you wouldn't believe me even if I told you!"

"We're about to die, of course you can tell me what it is!"

"Fine! I'm your daughter from the future who travelled back to see you save the world on the day that you died, but stuff happened and you're alive, and the universe is probably about to collapse!"

He turned to her for a moment, thunderstruck. "Wait, what?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course I don't believe you! It's ridiculous!"
"Brilliant. Can you just focus on the fact we're about to die?"

They turned towards the snarling dogs that were pushing them towards the van that seemed to be speeding around the corner in a continuous loop now, and considered. The dogs had been insubstantial before, so maybe...

Rose swept out with her sneaker, and kicked at a dog. Surprisingly, it didn't go through. It just sort of... stuck there, like it had been caught in glue. The dog yelped, and attempted to bite her. She waved her foot around in mid air. "Get it off!"

"Okay, stop panicking!"

"I have a dog on my shoe. Of course I'm bloody panicking!"
"Take off your shoe."

She blinked, and quickly kicked off her shoe. "Oh. Thanks." She quickly surveyed the area. "So... no touching the dogs."

"Apparently not."

"What do we do, then?"

Calvin clapped his hands together twice. "Oh! Oh! I know you!"

Hobbes turned to look at him. "...you do?"

"Of course I do!" He was now performing a happy little dance. "You're a Mary Sue! Puella sparklypoo! This is so cool! I didn't think you guys existed!"

He paused, and spun around, pointing accusingly at Susannah. "You don't exist, in fact. Perfect people shouldn't be possible. How does that work?"

She shrugged her perfect shoulders. "Magic?" she suggested. Hobbes shook his head.

"Nope. That explanation doesn't work on us. We killed a god. Basically. We've gone past the whole magic thing."

"Science?" Susannah tried again.

They glanced at each other.

"Eh," said Calvin, shrugging. "Works for me." He strode over to a stasis capsule, and tapped his finger against a green lever set into the side. "Now, what would happen if I let one of these girls out, I wonder?"

"She'd step out of the container," suggested Hobbes.

"Yes," the 6-year-old genius sighed. "But what would she do?"

"She'd stand there."
"I'm talking to the Sue."

They both turned and stared pointedly at Susannah Marie, who shifted uncomfortably. "I don't need to explain myself to a child and a tiger," she snapped.

Hobbes's eyes opened wide. "Oh, so you can see me! That's interesting! It either means that you're extremely childlike..."

("How dare you!" Susannah declared.")

"...or, you're an alien!"

Her eyes turned gold, and her face radiated anger. "Okay, so you figured it out."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged a quick high five, before noticing that silver wings had sprouted from the alien's back. They simultaneously gulped, and began to back away.

"You will not interfere with my master's plans," she growled. "I invoke the Anciyent and Myghty Wyrds of Powyr!"

A sword appeared in her hands, and she twirled it around expertly. "Kawaii! Teriyaki! Sayonara! Mystogan!"

Speeding towards the two time travellers at speeds that are actually impossible for any human that wasn't loaded on sugar, she attacked. Calvin and Hobbes jumped aside, watching her crash into the wall, and fall over, dazed.

"Well," Hobbes admitted. "Maybe she is slightly childlike..."

"Shut up and run!"

They dashed to the teleportation platform, and Calvin jumped up and down impatiently. "Hurry up, hurry up!"

Susannah Marie rose from the ground like an avenging... well, not an angel, really. Sort of a pretty demon. A really pretty one.

Just as she was about to collide directly with them, they fizzled out of existence. The Sue hit that wall, hard, for the second time that day.

"Oh, wow," sighed Hobbes, collapsing on the sidewalk. "Never again."

"That's what you say every time," Calvin said, already up, and tugging at his friend's arm. "Come on, she'll be coming soon. Once she recovers from her slam."

"Fine," Hobbes groaned, springing up. "But what are we going to do about it?"

They began to hurry down the street at a fairly quick pace. "She mentioned a paradox," Calvin said. "What type of paradox?"

It clicked in Hobbes's mind. "The demon dogs."

"Exactly."

"But... they were centered around Rose."

"I know."

"But... it can't have been her. They'd have had to be creating the paradox around her for weeks, at the very least."

Calvin glanced solemnly at his tiger friend. "You know about genetics, right?"

Hobbes stopped so suddenly that Calvin had to double back. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Does it involve twelve llamas and a large spoon?"

"Wha- no. I'm thinking something completely different, apparently."

"Tell me what it is, then."

"I'm thinking there's something she's not telling us."

Susannah burst out from the street with her silver wings flashing and her swords held aloft, screeching a wild battle cry. A large pack of demon dogs materialized behind her, and, howling, began to chase her down the street.

"Run!" Hobbes yelled. And they ran.

The father and daughter were now terrifyingly close to death by impossible van.

"We could really use a miracle right now," breathed Rose.

And then Calvin and Hobbes burst around the corner, being chased by a demoness with blonde hair and silver wings, who was in turn being chased by another pack of dogs.

Rose and Pete looked at each other.

"...that works," shrugged Pete.

It was a testament to the weirdness of Rose's life that she didn't even blink when Calvin transmogrified himself and Hobbes into twin giant pterodactyls, and swooped up above them. She just leapt up onto Hobbes's back when he got near enough, and helped a dazed Pete Tyler onto Calvin's back. And they took off into the air.

"This is crazy!" he yelled.

"This is my life!" Rose yelled back. "Get used to it!"

Hobbes chanced a glance back. Susannah Marie was gaining on them, and the packs of dogs had converged into a large group in the center of the street and were howling up at them.

"Do you seriously have a problem believing that I'm your daughter from the future?" Rose was saying.

"Yes, because it's impossible!"

Rose sighed.

Calvin swooped over, and fixed Rose with a look. "There's something you're not telling us."

She nearly fell off Hobbes. "We're being chased by a demonic thing and you're talking about my lying habits?!"

"Aha! So you do have lying habits!"

"No, I don't! That's the point!"

"Duck!" called Hobbes, who was actually paying attention. "She's breathing fire, now!"

Indeed she was. Calvin screamed. Pete screamed. They both ducked, but only Calvin's ducking had any effect. They dropped like two stones, one being attached to the other stone by the use of two hands that were suddenly gripping onto the second stone very tightly.

"How the expletive deleted can she do that?" screamed Calvin, regaining his balance, and dodging the blasts like one of those Pac Man creatures.

"She's a Sue," Hobbes replied, soaring high above them. Rose was riding him regally, looking like the Queen of the Pterodactyls. "She can do whatever she wants. She has reality bending powers."

Rose gulped suddenly. "Reality...bending... powers...? So there's two people around here that can do whatever the heck they want? Is that why I'm feeling so scared right now?"

"...why would you be scared?" Pete asked. "We're obviously hallucinating this all."

"Because he," Rose pointed directly at Calvin the Pterodactyl. "has a gun that can basically turn anything into anything else. That is a legitimate reason to be scared."

Calvin brightened. "Oh, yeah! Great idea!"

Rose groaned, and Calvin and Hobbes swept down to land on her apartment roof. Calvin turned himself and Hobbes back into their normal forms, and hit Pete on the head with a rubber hammer.

While Rose's dad was gibbering unintelligibly in the corner over an actual real tiger, Susannah Marie was swooping down, her eyes blazing glite (a horrible mixture of gold and white that shouldn't have actually worked).

Rose prepared for the fight of her life.

5 minutes later, the fight of her life was over.

"That was... horrifying," she moaned, dragging herself to her feet.

"Oh, lighten up, you sissy," Calvin sighed, pulling a hog-tied Susannah Marie along the rooftop. "It wasn't that bad."

"YOU WEREN'T THE ONE SHE WAS TRYING TO EAT!"

Hobbes looked shocked. "She attempted to eat you? Why didn't I see that?"

"Because you were busy trying to send your army of Transmogrified Brazilian Dancing Monkeys to trip her up," Calvin reminded him.

"Why was he doing that?" Pete said, recovering from fainting. Rose stared.

"Good god," she finally said. "Even I handled the aliens better then that." She collected her thoughts for a moment. "To answer your question, it was so Calvin could have time to stun her with a brick he found."

"A brick?"

"Yeah."

"...why a brick."

"Because bricks are cool."

Pete stared for a moment. "Okay."

Calvin turned a serious look onto her for a moment. "Now, what weren't you telling us?"

She blinked. "...what?"

"There's obviously something you're not telling us. There's a genetic paradox focused on you right now. What is it?"

She looked down at her feet. "He was supposed to die."
"What?" Hobbes stared at her. "Oh, that would explain it, then. Someone not dying would cause a huge breach in the timeline. That's fine, then. We can... fix it."

"You aren't mad at me?"

Calvin sighed. "No, we're raging and burning up the universe in our fury- of course we aren't mad at you. I'd do the same thing."

"Excuse me," Pete interjected. "You're saying I'm the cause of a major paradox?"

"That's exactly what we're saying."

"And I was supposed to die."

"Yep."

"You can understand I might be slightly upset about this."

Calvin considered for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah, I can see that."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Why don't you suspend your disbelief until we stop the alien perfect girls from ripping us to shreds?"
Hobbes turned to Rose. "Hold out your arm."

She blinked, and did so. Hobbes pulled out a medical syringe, and stabbed it into her arm.

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"That bloody well hurt!"

"I said sorry!" Hobbes snapped, examining the scarlet blood inside. "Excuse me for trying to save the world!"

Rose rubbed her arm. "You could've asked."

"Oh, do you want me to kiss it better, then?"

"No way!" she exclaimed. "Just tell me what you're up to!"

He tapped his nose with one furry finger. "Nope. I'm enjoying being the one with a plan for once. Hey, Calvin? Did you see a genetic controller in the lab?"

Calvin was putting the finishing touches on a Transmogrified hovercar (illegal in seven galaxies! Tell your friends!) and glanced up. "Sure. Want me to show you?"

"Yeah."

"All aboard, then!" He pressed a button, and the hovercar lit up with a range of colorful and exciting lights that flashed about merrily for a few seconds.

Everyone just looked at it. Calvin looked downcast. "You aren't impressed."

"No."

"Nope."

"Sorry."

Calvin sighed. "Why can't I ever meet someone who isn't a cynicist?"

"Because," Hobbes said, hopping onto the hovercar, dragging a mumbling Susannah Marie with him. "we live in a universe of snarkiness. The only people who aren't snarky are the NPCs."

"What he said," Rose shrugged, stepping lightly on. Pete followed.

"You really are my daughter, aren't you?" he muttered, not altogether unhappily.

Rose glanced over in surprise. "You believe me?"

"Why not? The day's insane enough."

"Yeah," she nodded. "It feels like a Thursday." She paused, looking slightly mournful. "I never did get the hang of Thursdays."

"Actually, it's a Saturday."

"We're here!" Hobbes called.

They were in an alley. Calvin directed them to stand in one specific spot. And they waited. As they did, a white van began speeding down the alley directly towards them.

"Crazy driver!" Hobbes yelped.

Calvin looked closely. "There is no driver!"

"WHAT?" everyone screamed together.

They fizzled out of existence just before it was about to hit, their screams echoing behind them.

"-AAAAAAAAAAA-" Calvin continued, long after they were in any actual danger. Rose clapped a hand over his mouth, muffling at least some of the awful noise. Then, he bit her, and she yelled too.

"That hurt-!" She stamped hard on his foot. "And now I've got a pain in my hand as well as a pain in my arm! What was that about anyway?"

"Explanation time!" Hobbes agreed. Calvin grinned, and swatted Rose's hand away.

"This can be done by use of extensive narration!" he proclaimed happily.

There was a pause as everyone stared at him.

The cloned creations of Susannah Marie had been working to maintain power via a paradox engine, which basically fed off energy in time which was wrong. For example, if someone was supposed to die, but got saved at the last minute. Or, on a smaller scale, if a minor event (someone tripping over a cat) didn't happen. The Sues (because that was basically what they were) had been leading up to the event of Peter Tyler not dying for months, and, by doing that, were weaving a paradox field around him. A paradox field wasn't something that happened on purpose. Rather, it was an inadvertent event.

Susannah had been feeding the paradox engine so her ship could blast off and return home. Her species came from the planet Sparklee (which was a stupid name, Calvin interjected) who were renowned for their cloning abilities, even at such a primitive point in time.

Of course, Hobbes added, time was relative.

The thing about the white van/vans following Pete around was because the universe is vehemently opposed to paradoxes, and felt that the best way to resolve it was to get rid of the person it was centered around.

Calvin did some very nice sound effects in the corner, involving zoom, screech, crash, pow, and boom, plus some wild hand motions. Everyone ignored him.

The dogs, the tiger explained, were another byproduct of a disgruntled universe, meant to herd the cause of the paradox to the reason he should have died. As Time moved further away from the point of divergence from the normal time stream, the more substantial the dogs became.

One way to get rid of the Sues was to change their genetic makeup.

"-which is where," Hobbes grinned. "this comes in." He held up the tube of Rose's blood.

"My blood?" Rose asked. "Have you turned into a vampire or something?"

He looked offended. "Of course not. Calvin, can you give me the genetic controller?"

Calvin picked up a small box that looked like an amped-up calculator, and tossed it to Hobbes. The tiger pressed a few buttons, and emptied the blood into a small slot that opened up.

"Wait for it," he warned. "The paradox buffers are coming down."

"Paradox buffers?" Pete wondered.

"Protects the room from the implications of paradoxes. Dogs, vans, etcetera."

He looked shocked. "But, that means..."

"You might have to run. Sorry."

The machine gave a beep, and flashed a pretty blue color. He grinned at it, and tossed it over his shoulder. "Right. Running!"

The white van crashed through the wall. And they ran. Straight through the breach in the wall and onto the street. Calvin looked wildly around, and pointed straight ahead. No words were needed, as they charged down the street, chased by the van. Plus a pack of dogs, which had just materialized.

"I can hold them off for a moment," Calvin panted, stabbing a finger at his wristwatch. A large, shimmering, dome-like sheild flickered into existence around them.

"Oh, cool, forcefield," Hobbes sighed.

"You've been watching too much Star Trek."

Pete glanced at the van and dogs, both of which were attempting to get to him. "What do we do?"

Hobbes gave him a somber look. Pete blanched. "No."

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry," Hobbes repeated, as if the word could do something.

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked.

"Rose," Hobbes said quietly. "The paradox has to be resolved. He has to die."

She stiffened. "No!"

"Yeah," Calvin nodded. "The universe will collapse otherwise."

"There's got to be something else we can do!" Rose exclaimed.

Hobbes sighed. "The universe is annoyed. We can't really do anything but try to appease it."

Pete turned to Hobbes. "What do I have to do."

"Just... step in front of the van."

Rose finally broke down. "Daddy," she sobbed.

He gave her a small smile. "Sorry, but it... kind of has to be like this." He took a deep, steadying breath. "But, if it's any consolation... you're exactly the type of daughter I knew I'd always want."

"No..." She tried to breath steadily, but failed. "No... don't do it."

"Love you, sweetie," he said. The shield broke. The van rushed forwards. The dogs snarled. Pete Tyler closed his eyes and waited for the end.

Just before the van hit, a tabloid photographer snapped a picture. In the background, Rose was crying uncontrollably. Most of the dogs were gone, except for one.

Time rewrapped into place, and nothing was left. No Sues, no vans, no dogs, no paint can catastrophe.

Nothing except for a small article that would someday make it into Henry Van Statten's museum.

Peter Alan Tyler, my dad. Born 15th September 1954. Died, 1987, 7th of November. He didn't deserve to die. But he did. Killed by a drunk driver. It was a stupid accident, they said.

Rose dashed across the street to her dad, who lay on the street. He offered her a small smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Rose said back, attempting to smile slightly through her tears. It didn't work.

"Don't be sad," he murmured. "This is how it was meant to be."

She raised a finger to her mouth, and kissed it, before touching it lightly to her father's forehead. "I guess I should say something," she said. "I just don't know what."

"Me neither," Pete sighed. "You never really get to prepare for your death. I should probably have some last words, right?"

"Yeah," she said.

"How about this..." He struggled to take a breath for a moment. "There was nothing in the world that could compare with being with my daughter, and watching her save the universe."

"No," Rose choked back another sob. "I didn't save the universe. You did, Dad. You're a hero."

His eyes were beginning to glaze over. "A hero," he mumbled. "I like that."

And he was gone. Rose cried openly, then. Hobbes came behind her, and wrapped a furry arm around her back, and Calvin awkwardly patted her shoulder. They stayed like that for a minute, on the road. And then the police sirens started to wail.

"We should probably go," Hobbes said quietly.

Rose nodded, and they all walked to the Time Machine together in a lopsided sort of hug.

"I have something to show you," Calvin told Rose when they were inside.

It was a fairly ordinary-looking town. Nothing special. But they had landed just outside a large house with a steep red-shingled roof, and Calvin claimed that it was very important.

Calvin tapped on the door, and called, "I'm home." It was about 3 in the afternoon, just the time that people would come home from school.

He turned to Rose. "This is my house," he said by way of explanation. He motioned for them all to walk through to the kitchen. "Mom? I'm home."

"Hello, Calvin," said a woman with short brown hair, without looking up.

"Hobbes and I brought a friend home," he said. "This is Rose."

"Hello?" Rose ventured.

She didn't look up. "That's nice, Calvin. Your father's out the back, chopping wood for the fire."

"Sure, Mom."

They left. Rose looked curiously at Calvin. "She's not concerned that a complete stranger is in your house?"

"No. She doesn't pay any attention to me at all."

They walked to the back door. Calvin waved a hand outside. "That's Dad."

He was chopping wood, just like his mother had said. Calvin stared stonily out for a moment.

"You had a really great dad," he said abruptly. "I wish mine was like yours."

Rose grimaced. "Well... he would be better if he wasn't dead." Her attempt at humor fell flat, and there was a long silence

"Do you want to go explore the woods?" Hobbes asked suddenly. He hadn't said a word the whole time, and felt like his only role was to carry Charles around.

Calvin jumped on the chance. "Yes! We can find cool bugs, and ride the wagon down Doom Hill!"

"Doom Hill?" Rose frowned. "That doesn't sound very safe..."

"Of course it's not safe! That's what makes it fun!"

After a long day of exploration and adventure, they stood at the top of 'Doom Hill' to view the sunset. It was a especially beautiful one, lighting up the sky with brilliant shades of red and pink.

"Mum used to always say that when this sort of thing happened," Rose motioned out to the horizon. "it was Dad painting the sky pink for me."

"That's a nice thought," murmured Hobbes.

"Yeah, it's silly," Rose shrugged. "But I always thought that it was true."

Charles cooed happily.

"We've got places to explore," Calvin sighed, and brightened. "Hey! Why don't we attempt to see all the Harry Potter movies in one day?"

"Oh, yes!" Hobbes exclaimed. "Emma Watson is such a babe!"

"I met her. She wasn't that cute," Calvin scoffed.

"Oho! So you do admit you were interested in her!"

And Rose remembered how to laugh.

(A/N

Yes, I am alive, contrary to popular belief. I hope you enjoyed this, and if you did, I beg you to leave a review. Also, I wrote a short oneshot not based in this universe, but it is fun, so I hope you check it out!
Thanks to the folks at #PPC and #PonyThread for being amazing.

See you next week!

~Kitty)