Warning- the inclusion of Jack has amped up the rating a bit. Nothing too bad, but slight innuendo if you squint.
Episode 9:2- Children of Mars
The first thing Rose noticed was that it was dark.
Pretty darn dark.
So dark that she couldn't see a thing.
She felt around, and touched metal. It made a pinging noise when she tapped it. Pulling herself to her feet with help from a curved wall, she felt around for a light switch. Her hand fell across a button, and she was about to press it when the lights flicked on. She blinked in the sudden light, noting that there was a rather handsome man standing there, grinning at her.
Wait. There was a rather handsome man standing there, grinning at her.
She did a very quick double take.
"Hi," the man said. He had a vague American accent. "You looked like you were in a spot of trouble. Did you mind me picking you up?"
He had a way of making everything that he said sound suggestive.
"Uh, no," Rose said. "Not at all. How exactly did you... pick me up?"
"Transmat," the man said, waving a hand at the control interface. "Nice dinosaur, by the way."
It's a ship, Rose realized. A spaceship. Charles was sitting next to her, looking curiously about the room.
"I'm Rose," she introduced herself. "Rose Tyler. And the dinosaur is Charles."
"Rose," the man wiggled his eyebrows. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." He bent down, and kissed her hand. Rose giggled.
Wait. Did I just giggle?
"I'm Captain Jack Harkness," he said with somewhat of a swagger. "I'm assuming you're a Time Agent, then?"
She was about to ask what a Time Agent was, but then realized that it might be better to pick his brain for information.
Subtly, of course.
She tilted her head in what she hoped was a mysterious way. "Might be," she said, attempting to keep up the light, flirty tone. "What if I am?"
"Well, I was thinking, we might want to... exchange parts."
Rose took a single step back. "Uh, yeah. Really hoping that wasn't a creepy euphemism."
He looked puzzled for a moment, then laughed. "Oh, right. Heh, when is it not a creepy euphemism?"
She considered this, then nodded. "Fair point. But it wasn't meant as one, was it?" she added accusingly.
"It can be it you want it to be."
She breathed a silent sigh of relief. "How can you tell I'm a Time Agent? Do you have some kind of special device that tells you if the chip in my neck is a Time Agency one?"
Rose was taking a wild gamble, but it paid off. The Captain grinned again and shook his head. "Nope. It's the fact that you're wearing 21st century clothes in a 20th century setting. Now, it could be just a new fashion wave, but I somehow doubt it."
"Oh, right. You got me there." She peered around. "So, where exactly are we?"
"My ship," the Captain said. "Here, look."
He flung open two double doors, revealing an amazing view. They were maybe 20 meters above London. At first, Rose gasped in wonder. That quickly turned to a look of slight horror when she realized they were standing on precisely nothing.
"Ah, ah, don't worry," he told her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's there. Basically just invisible."
She breathed a sigh of relief, and sent him a quizzical look. "What exactly were you going to offer to trade?"
Jack winked suggestively. He was very good at making absolutely anything look sexual. "I was thinking that we could dance a bit first."
Rose hadn't danced since she was very little, but was determined to give it a try. "Sure, why not?"
Music began to play from nowhere, and Rose grinned at Jack. "I'd be delighted."
And while blank-faced children stalked the streets, they danced. While Calvin dashed through the martian spaceship, they danced. And while Hobbes and Ace threw high powered explosives at said Martians... they danced.
Calvin barricaded the door, and jammed a piece of furniture against the futuristic doorknobs. He then turned to the array of mechanical devices, rubbing his hands. "First things first, find the transmat so I can get the heck out of here."
He scanned the area, and saw a large knife switch, the type that Dr Frankenstein would be proud to use. Beneath it was an area that looked like a teleportation platform.
Plus, there was the fact that 'Transmat' was written in Martian on the lever. But the other way seems more clever.
Calvin snapped his fingers, and turned to the interfaces. He dug out a single can of explosives from his bigger-on-the-inside pockets, and held up, checking the timer.
"Right, I'll put this here, and run for my life," he decided. He placed it inside a cabinet, and pulled a pile of other cans, slamming them down in strategic places around the room. Quickly darting around to set the timers, he slammed down the switch and disappeared.
There were 15 seconds left until detonation.
Ace had just finished rescuing a small man with a straw Panama hat when she noticed that something was flickering into distance in the sky up above.
It was the Martian ship.
"He really did it," she breathed. "Oof!"
The oof was due to a small boy with spiky hair that had just appeared in the space above her and dropped into her arms.
"Calvin!" she exclaimed. "How did it go?"
"We'll find out in a moment," he said with the hint of a smile.
"Let's find your tiger in the meantime," she set him down on the ground.
"He's not my tiger," Calvin argued. "He's more of a...free spirit."
Two minutes later, the tiny trio of travellers stood on a roof, anxiously watching the sky.
"I think I set the timers right," Ace muttered anxiously.
Calvin crossed his fingers and hoped.
The ship's camouflage had already been taken down, so at least one part of the sabotage had gone right.
A rumbling started up. Smoke began to float from the engines, almost lazily, and flickers of flame sparked along the wings. It caught, and the whole ship began to burn merrily.
"I was expecting an explosion," Hobbes commented.
Calvin just pouted, and stared up into the sky.
There must have been some sort of gas in the ship, because one spark caught. And you don't have to be a first grade chemistry student to know what happens when flame meets gas.
Hobbes smiled happily as cinders drifted down from the sky. "Well, that's that."
"Yeah," Calvin said. "Except, Rose is still dead."
A somber silence fell over the group.
Ace shifted uncomfortably. She had never been much good with emotions. It was usually just say hi, blow things up, say goodbye.
Hobbes patted Calvin awkwardly on the back, feeling a lot like he needed a pat on the back himself.
"I guess we'll have to go tell her mother," he suggested, not saying it like he wanted to do it.
"Yeah," Calvin said. "Goodbye, Ace. It was nice meeting you again."
Against her better judgement, Ace hugged Calvin goodbye, and tweaked his nose slightly. Calvin rubbed his nose with his index finger.
And they set off in their separate ways.
Or, at least, they would have if it weren't for the gaunt-looking children that had suddenly surrounded.
"Meep," said Hobbes.
Rose spun away from Jack with a flourish, laughing delightedly. She collapsed backwards into a chair. "You're a great dancer," she sighed.
"Why, thank you," he accepted the compliment. "Now, to business."
"To business!" Rose agreed, raising a wine glass.
Jack stared.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I thought you were proposing a toast."
The Captain reached into a bag and withdrew a large mechanical-looking part covered with round globe-like objects. "I was thinking you would like to trade this helmic regulator for a sonic device."
Rose was caught out. She hadn't expected to need to demonstrate any actual knowledge. "Well," she said, attempting to stall. "Maybe we could dance a bit more first?"
Jack leaned forwards, all flirting gone from his tone. "No. But you're not a Time Agent at all, are you?"
"Of course I am!" Rose blustered. "My friends can vouch for me."
"Your friends," Jack tapped his chin with one elaborately manicured finger. "Your friends who happen to be on the ground, fighting for their lives?"
Rose leapt out of her chair and dashed over to the balcony. Looking down, she immediately saw that three figures were facing off a massive horde of children.
"Calvin, Hobbes, and Miss McShane, I believe," Jack continued.
"Who are you," Rose asked dangerously.
"I don't know," Jack admitted. "I don't even think Jack is my real name. I have no idea who I am, or who I'm supposed to be, or how I should act."
"Then why did you basically kidnap me?" Rose demanded.
"Would you rather have been killed by children from outer space?" he countered.
Rose had to concede that it was a fair point.
"I 'kidnapped' you for money," he continued. "Money is pretty much the only thing that makes sense to me anymore. Well, that, and... relationships."
He shot her a saucy wink. Rose pushed her hand against his chest, forcing him to stumble back a few steps.
"Keep away," she warned.
"Sure thing, doll," he affirmed. "Question is, what am I going to do with you? You're not a Time Agent, but you are a time traveller... hm..."
"Send me back," Rose said. It was an order, not a suggestion.
"Why not," Jack shrugged. "Prepare for teleport."
He pressed a button. Rose's hand whipped out and clenched around his arm.
"If I'm going down there, you're coming with me," she hissed.
Before Jack could react, the computer beeped, and they were gone.
Baby don't you cry, the children hissed.
or the demons won't wait until you're asleep,
before they eat you up.
"This is not good," Calvin growled. "I don't feel like dying."
"Funny, neither do I," Ace commented.
They were back to back, facing up against the children from Mars. And, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't looking good.
"Right," Hobbes said conversationally. "Any last confessions to make?"
"Hobbes," Calvin said, completely seriously. "I have always loved you, and I always will."
Hobbes recoiled in shock. "You're a Furry?!"
Ace was just laughing, withdrawing Nitro-Nine from her sleeves. "He's having you on," she assured Hobbes. "I think we can get out of this."
"How so?" Hobbes demanded. "If we throw explosives at them, they'll just come right back at us!"
"And I could be completely serious about loving Hobbes!" Calvin cut in.
"Pft," Ace snarked. "Of course you're not. Maybe platonic, yeah, but-"
"Focus."
"Right. Here we go."
She threw the cans, not bothering to set the timer. When the smoke had cleared, there was a clear path for them to go through.
"Run!" Calvin yelled. They didn't need any further prompting. They dashed past the martians, who sighed as one and let out a final, sinister verse.
That is not a blanket...
"How did you do that?" Hobbes asked finally.
"Simple." Ace twirled her jacket around her arm. "Calvin got rid of their ship. They can't teleport back there anymore. Therefore, if anything threatens to kill them, they have no escape plan."
"Well, that's good." Calvin sat cross-legged on the ground.
Hobbes sighed. "What now?"
Rose landed on top of him, along with another man who he didn't recognise. He went down like a sack of bricks. "Ow! Rose, what have I told you about landing randomly on my head?"
"I didn't even think the scenario was on our troubleshooting list," she retorted, scrambling to her feet. She kept a firm grip on the man's arm, who seemed to be attempting to escape.
Calvin and Ace stared, looking a bit like goldfish.
"You-you're dead!" Calvin managed. "That's not fair! I was being all sweet and noble and giving you a proper send off, and I even managed to angst about it for a while! And you're alive! Talk about inconsiderate!"
Ace nudged him. "Shouldn't you be happy that she's not erased from existence."
"That bit will come later! A long way later! I'm still mad at her! It's easier to like her when she's not alive!"
"I'm not sure if I should be insulted or complimented," Rose sighed. "Same old Calvin."
Hobbes poked curiously at the man next to her. "Who's that?"
"He says his name was Captain Jack Harkness, but he admitted that it wasn't his real name. And he was the one that saved me by kidnapping me."
The tiger considered. "That makes sense."
"It shouldn't," Jack grumbled. "It doesn't make sense to me."
"What do you know about the martians?" Rose asked.
Hobbes, Ace, and Calvin quickly filled her in, with Jack listening intently in the background.
"I know a bit more," he volunteered.
Everyone turned to fix his with eager eyes.
"But, you'll have to pay me..." he grinned.
"No," Calvin fiddled with the Transmogrifier Gun. "How about you tell us, because it's the only way you'll ever get to be human?"
The illegitimate Captain only managed a "wha-?" before the gun fired and he was turned into a chicken.
Instead of being horrified, or panicking, he instead looked down at himself curiously.
"Ooh," the chicken-Jack commented. "Molecular reconstruction unit. Interesting." He looked up. "Yeah, that works for incentive. Basically, all I know it that they're attempting to destroy the Earth because they think it's ugly."
"Ugly?" Ace asked.
"When you were a child, didn't you ever look at something ugly and think, 'I want to tear this down'?"
"Yeah," said Rose, thinking of her failures of Lego models.
"Yeah," said Calvin, thinking of his school.
"Yeah," said Ace, thinking of Gabrielle Chase and snickering slightly.
"Yeah," said Hobbes, thinking of a can of tuna. It was unfair for the gorgeous meat to be imprisoned in a package.
"Well, these children actually have the power to do that. And they don't like the look of Earth, so..." He shrugged, as much as it was possible for a chicken to shrug. He paused, looking hopeful. "Can I be human, now?"
"Nope," Rose scooped him up underneath her arm. "Think of this as insurance."
When I came home last night at three,
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall,
I couldn't see him there at all!
(A/N-
This was an honest struggle to get out, and as such is shorter than the other chapters.
Reviews and feedback are appreciated.