Episode 12:2- Faction Paradox

Calvin and Hobbes set off through the rooms of the beginning of the universe, and found that Hobbes was absolutely right. The whole place was a mimicry of Calvin's life.

His classroom was there. They hurried quickly past that one.

His living room, complete with a TV that Hobbes had to drag him away from.

The supermarket, where they quickly stuffed themselves with cookies before remembering that Rose and Jack were possibly in deadly danger.

The library near his house.

Even the stupid island that his dad always dragged him to on camping trips. It was creepy. It was surreal. It was like they had a stalker that was faithfully recreating every place Calvin had ever visited.

"Remember the second Transmogrifier Gun?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin brought the original from his pocket, and Hobbes held the copy up. They were still identical. It wasn't even a duplicate, which would have reverted back to its original form by now.

Calvin looked up. "You think it has something to do with this?"

"Think? I know it has something to do with this."

The next room they entered was wildly different in design. It was cold, sleek, metallic and clinical. Most importantly, it had a computer terminal, which Hobbes promptly sat down at, and began to type into.

"Do you know how to hack?" he asked without looking up.

Calvin seated himself on the chair next to him. "No. Do you?"

"I kinda assumed that we could figure it out together. It needs a password."

Calvin looked around, searching for inspiration. "Well, the first thing I'd use for a password would be 'Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs', but..."

Hobbes typed that in. A green smiley face popped up.

"We're in," he grinned.

Calvin stared, dumbstruck. "How did you-?"

"Since everything around here's about you, it's only logical that the password would be about you, too. What are we looking for?"

"What is this place?"

The operating system was some weird mixture of Windows 8.1 and IOS 4, which made it slightly difficult to navigate. But soon enough, rows of text were scrolling across the screen.

"It's called Faction Paradox, the group that made this place," Hobbes said, sorting through the information as he went. "Holds about a hundred people at a time, but is currently occupied by about 25."

"Faction Paradox?" Calvin peeked over his friend's shoulder. "Well, that doesn't sound good."

"No, it doesn't." He tapped at the keys. "Their main aim is to... create paradoxes."

Calvin frowned. "Shouldn't there be some of those paradox dogs around, then?"

"Probably. This whole place is shielded, though."

Calvin crossed his arms, and stared at the ceiling. "What point does causing paradoxes achieve? They're basically causing people to never exist. Why?"

"Fear?" Hobbes suggested. "Confusion? Empty spaces in the parking lot next door?"

"Or..." Calvin wrinkled his nose, then his expression dropped. "Oh, holy pole jumping cow on a pogo stick."

"What is it?"

Calvin looked down at him slowly. "This whole place is based around me. They're trying to get us here. They kidnapped Jack and Rose; they were expecting us. They used Ace as bait."

"Which suggests that we should get out of here as fast as possible," concluded Hobbes.

"Yes."

"But we're not going to."

"No, we're not. We aren't going to leave Ace, Jack and Rose here. We're going to get them out." He tossed the Transmogrifier Gun to Hobbes. "Turn yourself into a bulldozer. We're smashing through the walls."

Rose took Jack's bishop with a large, loud smashing of black marble. The thin layer of grey dust covered the board again. Rose's clothes were ruined, and she was pretty sure Jack's were too, but she didn't dare look up.

She was too busy concentrating.

Mickey had taught her how to play chess one day after maths class, and once he had explained the rules she was pretty darn good at it. She had even come second place in the school chess tournament. But this time, she wasn't playing to win. If she won, Jack would die.

There was only one way for both of them to get out of this alive. They'd have to meet in a stalemate.

She looked up briefly at Jack, who tapped his lips with two fingers. She tilted her head quizzically as he made his move.

He tapped his lips again.

What? she mouthed.

He nodded. And it came to her, in a flash. Jack could read lips.

She moved a pawn forwards.

He mimed pointing at himself, and then at the chess board. He shook his head.

You can't play chess? she asked silently. He nodded. He pointed at her, then at himself.

You want me to give you instructions, she clarified, as he took the pawn with another pawn. He nodded frantically.

She took a deep breath in. Move your queen forwards two, she instructed, making sure to mouth clearly. He did.

She took his queen.

He then, under her guidance, took her queen. She moved her rooks out into vulnerable positions, and so did he. They took each others.

They continued the game in this way, taking pieces, until only they were left on the board. The two kings.

Rose chanced a look upwards. Grandfather was leaning on his elbows, watching the game carefully. He noticed Rose looking at him, and lowered the mask slightly to wink at her. She caught a glimpse of glittering, calculating, obsidian black eyes, and shuddered.

The game was nearly over. All they had to do was move back and forth for about twenty or so turns.

They walked around the board for a bit until Grandfather sighed. "Fine. Stalemate."

Rose felt like cheering, but reserved that emotion until they were out of the danger zone.

"I suppose you want me to let you go?" he asked.

Rose and Jack locked eyes. Yes, that was exactly what they wanted. But it wasn't even remotely likely.

Grandfather sighed. "Oh, well. Off you trot."

And he disappeared. Dematerialized out of existence.

Rose raised a tentative foot, and stepped off the board. Nothing happened. She shrugged, and motioned for Jack to follow her.

Calvin and Hobbes were actually having quite a lot of fun, considering they were in deadly danger at the moment. Crashing through walls in bulldozer mode is fun no matter what's happening.

The rooms blurred together, until they got to a door marked 'Solitaire'. Calvin turned back, and looked at the bulldozer-Hobbes.

"What do you think's in there?"

Hobbes turned back as well, and shrugged. "Dunno. A paradox dog, whoever's behind this whole thing, a laser weapon armoury, or maybe a pack of cards."

Calvin, in all honesty, preferred the last option. He pushed open the door.

Inside, there were four pedestals, lit up by a separate colored light. The blue, green, and red platforms were empty. In the yellow one, however was Ace, floating in mid-air, looking peaceful with her eyes shut.

Hobbes dashed over to the base of the pedestal, and stared at the three switches that were there. "What do we do?"

"Get her down," Calvin said cheerfully, fiddling with a switch. "All I have to do is disconnect the regulator valves from the T switches."

Hobbes looked at him anxiously. "Are you sure? You might fry her brain by accident."

Calvin flicked all three switches up at once. "I have no idea what I'm doing. I just made up those terms to make you feel better."

Hobbes's mouth dropped open.

The yellow light flashed pink, and turned off. Ace tumbled to the ground in a heap.

"There," Calvin said, sounding satisfied. "Are you impressed with me?"

"You could have killed her!"
"Yes, but I didn't. I'll ask again. Are you impressed with me?"

Ace groaned, and pushed herself up. "I'm impressed with you," she volunteered. "Thanks for that, by the way."

Hobbes groaned. "Fine. I'm impressed." He looked at Ace, who was dusting herself off. "How did you get in here."

She blinked. "...that little creep threw me into a stasis beam!"

Calvin sighed. "We got that much. What little creep?"

Ace gestured wildly with her hands. "He was tiny, really. And he had a skull mask on. And he was annoying."

"That could be anyone," Hobbes pointed out.

"No, it couldn't," Calvin said. "He's the person who's currently at the beginning of the universe. How many people can do that?"

"You can," pointed out Ace rather logically.

"Yeah, but he can't be me. That would be ridiculous," Calvin said. "They're a group organized into creating paradoxes. Heck, they've already remotely destroyed future Earth already."

"They've destroyed Earth?" Ace exclaimed.

Hobbes banged his head against his paw. This was going to take a heck of a lot of explaining.

Just then, a trapdoor opened underneath Calvin. With a startled yelp, he disappeared down...

Rose and Jack walked carefully across the chessboard, past the shattered remains of their marble armies. Rose patted the muzzle that was all that remained off a white knight.

Even though they weren't alive, really, they still had made sacrifices.

"So," Jack said eventually. "We're at the end of the world. What do we do?"

"We get to Calvin and Hobbes," Rose said decisively. "and we figure out what the heck is going on."

Jack nodded, and they walked out the open doors together.

"You really do love them, don't you?" he said after a moment.

Rose started. "What?"

"Calvin and Hobbes. You love them, not romantically, but as friends." Jack knew all about love, about all sorts of love. It kind of came with the idea of being from the 51st century. All the customs there were different from 21st century ideas and beliefs.

Rose scowled. "Calvin is a jerk."

"But you're best friends."

She snorted; they continued on in silence for a bit. "Yeah, s'pose we are. A bit."

Jack just smiled.

"Yeah, he's a bit like my little brother." Rose tilted her head. "I don't have a little brother. He's my surrogate little brother."

Calvin fell down from the roof and landed on her head.

"And he's just as annoying," she continued, slightly muffled by her current position on the ground.

Jack looked on, slightly wistfully. "I wish I had a little brother."

"No, you don't," Rose snapped, flinging Calvin off. He scrambled up, blinked twice, and then stared directly at Rose.

"Oh, great!" he said cheerfully. "I've found you. I've been looking for you everywhere. You got away from the chess set, then?"

"Yeah..." Jack said slowly. "How did you find out about that?"

"I'm clever," Calvin said, nodding assertively. "I'm a very clever person."

Rose looked uncertain. "Well... what are we going to do?"

"We're going to get Hobbes and Ace, obviously," Calvin snorted, and turned around. "Keep up, Rose. And you too, Jack. We have stuff to do."

It was all rather sudden. Rose followed instantly. Jack lingered for a moment before tagging along too.

"I left them along this passageway," Calvin told them. "We split up."

"You split up?" Rose looked incredulous. "Why would you do something stupid like that?"

Jack looked puzzled. "Well, what's wrong with splitting up?"

"Haven't you ever watched Scooby Doo?"

"No," Jack said, completely honestly.

"I did," volunteered Calvin from way up in front of them. "A long time ago. Wasn't there a dog involved?"

"There is," Rose said. "And there's a lot of foiling evil plots that are typically cliched. You can be Shaggy and Hobbes can be Scooby."

"Isn't Scooby the dog?" Calvin frowned.

"Yup," Rose said, pleased.

"What about me?" Jack interjected.

"You're Fred. And Ace is Velma, probably. If Velma liked explosives and blowing up things. That means I'm Daphne."

"Daphne's self absorbed and a fashion geek, isn't she?" Calvin protested. "That's not you."

"Yes, it is," Rose said proudly. "I'm self absorbed."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

She blinked. "Well, it is. Occasionally."

He sighed. "Rose, seriously..."

She looked at him oddly.

"Wait a moment," said Jack, who had only caught up. "This 'Fred'. Is he handsome?"

Rose slotted straight back to fangirl mode. "Well," she said, grinning brightly. "it's stated in some books that he and Daphne began dating later and eventually married."

Jack grinned back. "Wanna get onto that later?"

"Shut up," Calvin requested, not looking back at them.

Jack and Rose continued to flirt lightly all the way down the hall, mainly just to annoy Calvin, even though he didn't react much. He seemed to know where he was going, which was a bonus, because Rose certainly didn't.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked in a lull between suggestive comments.

"It's a secret," Calvin replied somewhat childishly. "Wait and see."

Rose grumbled quietly, but didn't say anything that loud, because sometimes Calvin was interesting. Well, he was interesting pretty much all of the time.

And at the very least, she might get to hear the villain of the week say 'and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!'

That would be awesome.

It wasn't remotely likely, though.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked Calvin again. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you people. You always ask questions! You think you're the forces of the universe! You probably are. I could make a list..."

"A list?" Rose asked.

Jack nodded happily. "The great forces of the universe. Napoleon, Caesar, Hitler, Katniss, Rose Tyler, and the list goes on!"

Rose stared. "You put me on a list with Hitler."

"Yes, I did, but you also need to remember that I put you on a list with Katniss Everdeen as well."

"She's a fictional character! And you put me on a list with Hitler."

"I put you on a list with Caesar, too."

"He was a vicious Roman conqueror who murdered several people! And, you put me on a list with Hitler."

"I don't get why you're so angry with me."

She glared at him so hard that it felt like her eyeballs would burst. They walked for a few more steps.

Calvin, ahead, had disappeared around the corner. Rose and Jack hurried forwards a few steps in order to keep up.

And stopped.

And stared.

There, in front of them, were not one, but two Calvins. Rose's mouth dropped open.

"Hi," said the one on the left.

"Hello," said the one of the right.

They were identical in every way. Their hair had the same number of spikes. Their shirts had the same number of stripes. They had the same identical, curious expression.

It was the most terrifying thing Rose had ever seen.

"There's two of you?" she exclaimed, horrified.

"Well," frowned the one on the left. "technically, no. One of us isn't real."

"I'm perfectly real!" exclaimed the one on the right. "Rose, don't listen to him..."

"What do you mean!" the other one snapped irritably. "I'm obviously the real one. You're just a fake."

"Shut up!" the one on the right who shall henceforth be known as Calvin One to avoid confusion yelled. "It's obvious that I'm real."

"He's using italics more than I am," Calvin Two whispered confidentially to Jack and Rose. "That's one of the sure signs of a fake."

Jack covered his face with his hands. "Oh, dear god..."

"Two Calvins in one place," Rose sighed. "I don't think the universe can take the sudden increase of ego."

Both Calvins stopped and glared at her. "Hey!" they exclaimed together.

Rose took the mental equivalent of a slow, deep, calming breath, and looked up. "How do we figure out which one of you is the real one?"

"But I'm the real one!" they said together, then poked a finger in each other's faces. "Stop copying me."

"Ask them questions only he would know the answer to," Jack suggested.

"What's Rule 21?" Rose asked instantly.

"Don't aggravate the evil dictator's army," they chorused.

Rose and Jack looked at each other. "That's right, right?" Jack asked.

"...yeah."

"Damn."

"Who do you ship, as of last week?" she tried again.

"Hermione and Luna," said Calvin Two, annoyed. "I really don't like people stealing my image. It makes me want to do this!"

He ripped at Calvin One's hair. All it achieved was Calvin One screaming loudly in pain. "What was that meant to do?"

Calvin Two glared. "You don't have a wig on!"

"Of course I don't, you moron! You're the fake!"

Rose held her hands up. "We aren't going to get anywhere this way, Calvin!"

"Which one?" Calvin One asked innocently, grinning mischievously.

"Both of you," Jack sighed.

"If you are really Calvin," Rose addressed Calvin One. "then where's Hobbes?"

He hesitated for a split second. "We split up."

Rose raised a hand. "Ah! Don't split up! Scooby Doo, remember?"

"I watched an episode of that last week," Calvin Two chimed in.

Jack grinned. "And the plot thickens."

Rose pointed at Calvin Two. "So, you claim that you watched Scooby Doo last week." She pointed at Calvin One. "and you said you watched it a long time ago."

They both nodded.

Rose looked like she was about to slam her head into a wall, but instead poked the nearest Calvin in the chest. "You feel real."

"I am real," he said. "So is he."

"So are you a duplicate of me or something?" asked Calvin Two.

"Are you a duplicate of me?" Calvin One retorted.

"Why don't we let her pick?" Calvin Two asked, poking a finger at Rose.

"Because Rose is oh so trustworthy," the other snarked quietly.
"She is," Jack put in.

"I am!" Rose exclaimed. "But I can't pick!"

"You can!" Calvin One said earnestly. "I trust you, Rose."

She looked uncertainly between the two. Who could she pick? They were identical.

Jack patted her on the back, but said nothing.

(A/N

Welcome back. There isn't much to say, apart from 'if you read Skulduggery Pleasant, check out my two new fics!'

Otherwise, leave a review!

In the review, tell me which Calvin you think is the real one, and why. I want to know how well I've done with my plots. I think, for once, I just wanted to write something more complicated then Death Note.

Kitty)