"Soo, you're Gaara, right?" asked George enthusiastically. "What kind of things can you do?"

Gaara didn't even look at him. "Hn."

He loathed Sasuke Uchiha, but that didn't mean that his techniques for ignoring fan-girls (in this case, fan-boys) weren't useful.

"C'mon, talk to us!" said Fred. "What's it like, leading a village? It must be awesome, right?"

Now this was a question he would happily answer. "If you like hundreds of pages of paperwork every day, then yes."

Lee swore he could hear the crickets outside Hogwarts in the silence that followed.

Harry spotted Hermione eating toast ferociously at the Great Hall.

"Hermione!" said Ron, noticing her as well. Hermione looked up from her breakfast.

Harry noticed that Hermione had bags under her eyes and was reading something.

"'The Possible Existing Dimensions,'" he read. He looked at Hermione. "This is about the 'Kage', isn't it?"

Hermione looked enthusiastic. "Oh, yes! It's so intriguing! Apparently, there's been a few ninja who have been stranded here. Plus, there are a lot of other possible dimensions! For example-"

Ron cut her off. "Hermione, did you find out anything about the ninja?"

Hermione looked slightly crestfallen, but perked up again. "Read this."

She stuffed the heavy book into Ron's arms, making him stumble under the weight.

"Blimey, 'Mione, do you have super-strength or something?" he gasped.

Harry paid him no heed and read the paragraph.

"'There has been two instances in history where ninja from the dimension dubbed as the 'Ninja Continent' have come to this one. From the little information the 'ninja' have given out, it is safe to conclude that they have magic that is far more potent than a wizard's. In exchange, using too much magic (or 'chakra' as they have dubbed it) can potentially kill them. Other than the fact that they call spells 'jutsu' (translated into 'techniques') and they are far more fit than the average wizard, there is little intel on them, which is more than most other dimensions; indeed, some people think that they are our brother dimension.'"

"Interesting," drawled a familiar voice behind them.

Harry and Ron jumped. The creepy raccoon-guy was right behind them.

Hermione jumped as well, but said bravely, "Is this information right?"

Gaara looked at her with calculating eyes. Hermione shivered.

Ron yelped. It soon became apparent as to why when Gaara began dissolving into sand.

"…Yes."

From the staff table where the remaining four Kage resided, Onoki snorted as he watched Gaara dissolve into sand. "The little brat always did like theatrics."

All of them had bags under their eyes and were yawning. The night before, they had also (with a lot of shouting and arguing) decided to teach physical fitness. Tsunade thought that all of them really rather needed it.

At this rate, though, they were probably going to collapse in exhaustion.

"How does the Kazekage do it?" asked Mei rhetorically in despair. "I feel like dying!"

"Shukaku," offered A.

Tsunade twitched. "Shukaku was extracted from him."

"Habit," amended A. Tsunade just groaned, clutching at her head.

"Ugh, this is worse than a hangover. And I don't even have my medicine!"

"Mr. Sabaku," said McGonagall, walking up to him. "You should be at the Great Hall."

Gaara just gazed at the Black Lake. "Hn."

McGonagall internally rolled her eyes. "Very well, what year have you gotten up to?"

Gaara didn't even look at her. "Fifth."

She gasped slightly. "Already? But surely you didn't have enough time! Are you sure?"

"I don't sleep. I am also a very fast learner," said Gaara calmly.

The sleep part was correct, but to be honest, Gaara just used Kage Bunshin to breeze through the years. Though his head hurt from the memory backlash.

At times like this, he really admired Naruto. The boy used hundreds of Kage Bunshin and didn't even blink when they dispersed.

McGonagall blinked, then said, "Fine. Here is your schedule. You will be attending the same classes as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley since they will be your guide."

"Hn."

McGonagall sighed and left, but not before saying, "Classes start at nine."

"I wonder where that creepy raccoon-guy is," muttered Ron as he, Harry, and Hermione walked to History of Magic.

"That creepy raccoon-guy is right behind you," said Gaara calmly.

The trio jumped. "Ah, jeez, Gaara, stop doing that!" yelped Ron. Harry felt his heart pound wildly.

Gaara was amused, not that he would ever admit that.

"So… Where is this History of Magic?"

"So, Gaara, what did you think of Professor Binns?" asked Ron as the class drowsily exited the classroom.

Gaara felt slightly worried. "Are all teachers like this?"

(Time skip to Divination)

Ron, Harry, and Gaara went into the classroom. Gaara's head suddenly started ringing as the perfume hit him.

Harry noticed Gaara wincing slightly and felt sympathetic.

"It's a little more tolerable by the window," he offered. Gaara nodded.

The class settled down, just in time to witness Trelawney sneaking up on a certain sand-nin.

"You are fated to die- EEEK!" she shrieked as sand pinned her to the wall across the room.

Harry felt oddly happy and sadistic.

Gaara slowly turned his head away from the open window. "What did you do to the teacher?"

Everyone was silent, until they realized what Gaara was thinking.

"BWA HA HA HA HA!" wheezed Ron. "Gaara- you- that's the actual teacher!"

"You thought she had kidnapped the actual professor?" gasped Dean.

Harry grinned at Dean. "Sometimes I completely agree!"

Gaara just sighed.

(Time skip to Defense Against the Dark Arts)

"Good afternoon, class!" trilled Umbridge as Harry tried not to vomit at the impossible amount of pink saturating the classroom.

A few people mumbled 'good afternoon'.

Harry got a very bad feeling when Umbridge smiled, revealing her sharp, pointy teeth.

"Ohhh, we can't have that, can we?" crooned Umbridge. "Let's try again! When I greet you, I would like you to say, 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge."

Umbridge smiled sickeningly, until she spotted Gaara. "And who might you be?"

Gaara just stared blankly at the wall. "A human being."

Someone coughed.

Umbridge narrowed her eyes. "And what are you doing here?"

"Living. Breathing."

Umbridge smiled. "No, no, no! I'm afraid you don't understand! Please leave. Now."

Gaara didn't even look at her. "No."

Umbridge's smile disappeared completely. "That wasn't a question."

"Hn."

"Leave!" snapped Umbridge, losing her cool completely. Harry grinned along with Ron. Hermione looked slightly horrified.

"Hn."

"As Undersecretary to the Minister, and your professor, you have no choice!"

Gaara finally looked at her, looking really annoyed.

"Are you suggesting that you outrank me? Because I'm afraid you are incorrect. Politically, I outrank you. Should I remind you that I have over ten-thousand skilled ninja at my fingertips? I myself am a very skilled ninja. One of the best, actually. So shut up," he said calmly.

Umbridge spluttered, "But you can't even get back to your own dimension! So your rank is for naught!"

She looked triumphant.

Gaara 'hn-ed'. "When I get back, I assure you I will be able find a way to return here. Even if I couldn't, I still have the ability to crush you in less than a second without even trying."

Umbridge turned purple, but she didn't press the matter.

At times like this, Harry was strongly reminded of the fact that despite being a leader of a village, Gaara was still a teenager, and teenagers frequently have violent mood swings.

After getting a week's worth of detention from Umbridge (oh, how he wished Gaara had crushed her like he had threatened to do), the Gryffindors and the Slytherins walked over the Black Lake, where P.E. would be held. (A/N: P.E. is Physical Education, probably not the correct term in British)

The four Kage were already there, waiting (and reading a very thick book).

Harry noticed that Gaara smirked at this.

When the two groups settled down, Mei smiled at them brightly. "Which group is this?"

"Fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins," answered Hermione brightly.

Harry suddenly wondered what Gaara's gourd held.

Mei turned to the other Kage, who were suddenly smiling maliciously. "The Kazekage is in this group, correct, Tsunade?"

Tsunade grinned and suddenly appeared next to Gaara. She flung him toward the other Kage, who were cracking their knuckles.

"Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Technique!" sang Mei, making movements with her hands for some reason. To the class' shock, a bullet of water shaped like a dragon hurtled towards Gaara. A's fist followed, along with Tsunade's. Onoki floated into the air.

Harry felt horrified. Gaara was doomed.

All three attacks hit their target, making everyone wince.

The dust cleared, revealing… a mound of sand.

Mei grinned. "A Sand Clone! Of course, that's to be expected of the Kazekage!"

The class was buzzing with anticipation. Where was Gaara?

A claw of sand appeared from nowhere, crashing down at Mei at an incredible speed. Mei grinned again and dodged. The claw left a deep crater behind.

Hermione gasped. "Up there!"

Everyone, even the Slytherins, looked up at where Hermione was pointing. Gaara was standing rather dramatically on a cloud of sand.

"Even the Kage have their weak points!" said Tsunade. "Yours is obviously taijutsu. When we break through your defense, you'll be left defenseless, no better than a mere chuunin."

Gaara smirked. "Which is why my sand isn't called the 'Ultimate Defense' for nothing."

Tsunade scoffed. "You couldn't even beat Deidara!"

"And you couldn't beat Orochimaru," said Gaara calmly. "Besides, Deidara was a S-ranked criminal."

Tsunade exchanged glances with A. They both leapt up into the air and punched at Gaara. Gaara whizzed away on his sand. Mei shot another water bullet at him, and the Tsuchikage cackled evilly.

"There's no way you can beat all of us, boy!" Onoki laughed. "You will pay for the work you dumped on us!"

The class sweat-dropped.

"Ahem."

Everyone froze. Tsunade and A landed on the ground.

"As amusing as this is… shouldn't you be teaching class?" said Dumbledore, looking amused.

Mei looked slightly sheepish. "Ah… Sorry, Headmaster. You must understand that he left us to figure out how to get back in the library all night. Those books about dimensions and such are incredibly dull."

"Professor Binns' lessons are incredibly dull," retorted Gaara.

"Wait!" said Harry, shocked. "You mean you actually listen to him?!"

Gaara tilted his head. "Yes. Aren't you supposed to listen to your teachers?"

Harry heard Ron spluttering behind him, while Hermione nodded approvingly. "You two should be more like him," she hissed.

Dumbledore laughed. "Yes, but I'm afraid no one actually listens to Professor Binns, which is why History of Magic is not required in a lot of professions. Students find it too dull."

"Hmm," mused Gaara. "So I shouldn't listen to Professor Umbridge, Snape, and Trelawney?"

Ron burst out laughing, while Hermione looked scandalized.

"Oh, no," said Dumbledore, his eyes sparkling (Harry never got how he did it). "Well, I'll leave the Kage to their class. Good-bye!"

Dumbledore walked towards Hagrid's cabin.

Mei sighed in disappointment, then looked at the class.

"Twenty laps around the lake! Gaara, you do fifty! No sand!"

"What?!"

"My father will hear of this!"

"That's impossible!"

"WHAT?!"

Gaara just sighed. Shikamaru was right, women were troublesome.

"I feel like dying," moaned Ron, collapsing next to Harry. Hermione was still on her fifteenth lap. Harry had been one of the first to finish, and for the first time, he was grateful for Dudley's favorite game, 'Harry Hunting'.

Gaara had finished his fifty laps before anyone had finished their tenth, and didn't look that winded.

"How does he do it?" hissed Ron, gasping for breath. "That's… Inhumane!"

Mei smiled. "IF YOU DON'T FINISH IN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES, THIRTY POINTS FROM EACH STUDENT!"

Harry could only watch in sympathy as the remaining students stumbled into a run.

After dinner (and showers), the fifth year Gryffindors were all in their common room, doing their massive amount of homework (The Kage had assigned fifty push-ups a day, which everyone moaned at the prospect of doing).

Hermione stabbed the period in her Potions essay, sighing. "Done!"

Everyone looked enviously at her.

Gaara was apparently also finished, as he was gazing at the fire that was roaring in the fire-place.

Hermione walked over tentatively to Gaara and smiled. "Hi."

"Hn."

"Can I ask you some questions?"

Suddenly, everyone in the common room was paying attention to the conversation.

"Hn."

Hermione decided that it was a 'yes' and went on.

"Where is your village located?"

"Hn."

"Do you have any family?"

"Hn."

"What do Kage do?"

"Hn. Paperwork."

Hermione smiled, thinking that Gaara had finally decided to open up.

Ron whistled. "Only paperwork? What do you do for fun?"

"I don't know about the other Kage, but I have so much that I have almost no free time, even though I work 24/7," said Gaara. "Your homework is easy in comparison."

Horrified silence.

Hermione coughed nervously. "How… interesting. Can you teach us your techniques?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Village secret."

"Basics?"

"No."

"Can everyone in your village use sand?"

Gaara blinked. "No."

Hermione was intrigued. "Why not?"

"Can everyone in your world use magic?"

Hermione shook her head. "Of course not! Oh, I see. You have to be born with it!" She smiled triumphantly.

"No."

"What?"

"It's not something you can be naturally born with, unless I myself had children," said Gaara, his face illuminated by fire.

Hermione blinked. "But then how were you born with it?"

"Hn."

Hermione grew frustrated. "Fine, then what exactly is a Shukaku, how was it extracted from you, and what does it have to do with insomnia?"

Gaara faced Hermione, making her jump slightly.

"Where did you hear that?"

A smile grew on Hermione's face. "The Kage were talking about it at breakfast. What's Shukaku?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "Idiots." Harry got the feeling he was talking about the Kage.

Gaara looked at Hermione. "None of your business."

Hermione looked hurt. "But I really want-"

"Goodbye."

Gaara dissolved into sand and drifted away, leaving behind a group of curious Gryffindors.

Omake: The Two Counselors

Sabaku No Gaara. Jinchuriki, most feared ninja in Suna, former psychopath, and…

Counselor?

Gaara twitched as he waited for his first 'patient'. He had no idea what the council was playing at; they must have gone senile from the heat. Apparently, as a former psychopath, he was the best choice as a counselor since 'he knew how they thought.' This job also had the benefit of mending ties with Konoha, since they were sending their ninja over to Suna for… 'intense mental help.'

Crazy.

Gaara was torn from his thoughts when the door slid open, revealing…

Rock Lee, who was on crutches, making Gaara wince slightly. Currently, Lee was babbling about youth when he spotted Gaara. Lee smiled blindingly, making Gaara's sand cover his eyes.

"So, my youthful partner, I see you have finally torn yourself from the unyouthful influence inside your mind!" cheered Lee.

Gaara choked. "Did you just say partner?!"

Lee smiled. "Indeed! Together we will show the world our immense youth!"

Gaara could only stare, horrified. So this was his punishment. He would've preferred torture or execution.

Lee was still smiling. "Ah! Our first youthful patient is here!"

As if on cue, the door slid open, revealing…

Omake: The Lazy Jinchuriki

"Gaara, do you want to spar with me?" asked Yashamaru. Gaara yawned. "Too troublesome."

Yashamaru looked frustrated. "Do you have anything better to do?"

"Hm… Sleeping," said Gaara lazily.

"Interesting," said Yashamaru icily, glaring at Gaara, who was sprawled on his bed. "Especially since you can't sleep."

Gaara didn't look up from his pillow. "What can I say, I'm special. Good night."

"It's nine in the morning!" shouted Yashamaru. He stomped out of the room to the Kazekage's office.

"Were all of Shukaku's vessels this lazy?" asked Yashamaru in disbelief the moment he opened the door.

The Kazekage looked up from his paperwork and sighed. "No. We just got unlucky."

Yashamaru scowled. "At this rate, Gaara won't even want to be a ninja. Actually, scratch that, he already doesn't want to be a ninja. What are we supposed to do?"

"Assassinate him. Now stop bothering me, I have a lot of paperwork today," snapped the Kazekage, looking at the mountain of paper on his desk in despair. Yashamaru shook his head and started making a plan.

"Please die."

Gaara didn't even look back. "Hm… Whatever."

Yashamaru seriously doubted that Gaara knew that someone was trying to assassinate him.

"You idiot, someone's trying to kill you!" shouted Shukaku in Gaara's mind.

"Hmm," thought Gaara. "Whatever."

"HOW DID I GET SUCH AN IDIOT FOR A VESSEL!?" screamed Shukaku, actually crying.

Gaara simply looked at the moon and thought, "It's so pretty today."

Shukaku groaned and decided that if Yashamaru succeeded in killing Gaara, he was going to beg the Kazekage to at least give him a vessel that was more active.

Yashamaru's eye twitched in annoyance.

Omake: The Library

(This was actually part of the story until I realized that it contradicted the timeline as the Kage were supposed to be teaching...)

Mei plopped a stack of thick, dusty books on the desk.

Onoki mumbled something about 'old age'.'

A and Tsunade swiftly glared at him. "Oh no you aren't!" snapped Tsunade. "What happened to the stubborn old geezer who insisted on doing everything by himself?"

The Tsuchikage huffed but snatched a book from the pile.

"'The Theory of Dimensions,'" he read. This was not going to be fun.

"Ugh," groaned Tsunade. "At times like this, an insomniac would be seriously useful. Maybe Gaara…?"

A shook his head. "The little brat said that he was leaving all the paperwork to us."

Mei scowled. "The Kazekage is cleverer than I thought."

A/N: I wasn't going to update this early, but as a little treat...

I will try to update every week, I want to finish this as soon as I can without getting writer's block. I'll be alternating between this and my other story, How To Fall For A Girl, so that I won't get bored with both.

Please review! They motivate me!