Chapter 4: Never leave a Neko near a Fish Tank!

Kaname didn't know whether to be highly pissed or extremely embarrassed at the peculiar scene in front of him. Drenched in water and completely naked was Zero. His face was flush and he talked in words that Kaname couldn't quite understand. It was obvious that Zero was…to say the least…drunk. But how that happened, Kaname didn't quite understand that either. But the alluring sight of Zero shaking his fanny, tail swinging back and forth, as if hypnotizing you, was just too much for even him to take. And to think his morning started off as normally as possible.

Kaname had spent his entire morning on edge. There was a creeping feeling on the back of his mind as he went about his morning as best he could. Yet the feeling only got stronger when he was at his dinner meeting with Gin. It was a good thing that his two friends were there to talk on his behave since Kaname spent more time looking at his expensive wrist watch than he did to those around him.

As soon as the dinner meeting was over and the farewells were given, Kaname didn't hesitate in speeding over to where Kain parked his car and waited -rather impatiently- for the others to catch up. The ride from the restaurant back to Kaname's place was quiet. The airs around the three men were tense and it was obvious that Kaname wasn't the only one feeling on edge. Kain as well had a nagging feeling boiling deep within his gut, it wasn't a dreaded feeling as if the world was going to end right there and then, just one that was cause for mild concern. Yet knowing his lover like Kain did, the word mild was not the proper word to associate Aidou with since nothing was ever mild when it came to Hanabusa Aidou.

And oh boy was he correct the moment the front door was opened to Kaname's apartment.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me. Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me…don't cha~" Zero sang the Pussycat Doll's song merrily as he twirled his hips from side to side, hands in the air as he did so.

The boys watched on captivated by those hips before Kain realized something was missing…or more appropriately, someone was missing.

"Where's Hanabusa?"

"I think he's in jail?" Takuma pointed out as he nodded toward the individual in question who was under the table stark naked and hog tied with his hands and feet bound behind him with tap covering his mouth. Also tapped underneath the table was a paper sign that read JAIL in bold letters.

"What the hell are you doing there Aidou?" Kain asked the other. "This isn't time to play around, you know?"

Aidou gave his lover the most dirtiest look he could before grumbling and gesturing upward to Zero who finally stopped singing when he realized there were others in the room.

"Ahoy there landlubbers! What have thee got with me prisoner?" Zero hollered at the trio.

"Why is he acting like a pirate for?" Kain looked at the two beside him waiting for some kind of answer.

Takuma and Kaname both shrugged their shoulders before Kaname spoke up. "Alright Zero, enough of this silly game, it's time to stop-"

The feel of something wet beneath Kaname's foot when he stepped down the small steps that led to his living room had the chestnut haired man looking down, and to his horror there was at least two or three inches of water, but where it came from was an even bigger mystery until Kaname found himself looking over at his large in wall fish tank that was 35 feet long and 7-1/5 feet tall that was fill with 15,000 gallons of water and harbored expensive exotic fish. Kaname's mouth dropped open when he saw the large gapping hole in the middle of his now empty tank. His exotic fish were swimming in the now shallow water that filled up Kaname's living room.

"Zero, what in god's name happened here?" Kaname asked as calmly as he could.

Zero tilted his head to one side. "Who tis be this Zero you mistake me for landlubber?"

"Fine, then who might you be?" Kaname questioned playing along with Zero for the moment.

"I am the mighty Silver Beard!" Zero answered with pride. "Now what do thee landlubbers want with me prisoner."

Kaname pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Seriously Zero, stop playing around-"

Kaname was interrupted when a dart was shot at him and missed him by a few inches.

"You are conspirators against the mighty Silver Beard for trying to help the prisoner escape, now you shall feel me raft!" Zero said pointing the tranquilizer gun at the three.

"Uh, Kaname?" Kain peeked over at the other. "Since when have you owned a toy tranquilizer gun?"

Kaname swallowed. "I don't…"

Immediately the three males dived over to their left where Kaname's leather couch was just as the second dart was shot in their direction, missing them by a margin. The three males ducked behind the couch for cover.

"He has a loaded tranquilizer gun!" Kain shouted. "Why the hell do you have something like that?"

"For protection of course." Kaname answered.

"What…you think a bear will come and rob you or something?"

"Don't be so hard on him Kain-san, it's not his fault that he can't tell the difference between a regular gun and a tranquilizer gun." Takuma added with a mocking smile that was anything but innocent.

"You guys are jerks."

"Says the guy who's pet has my lover hostage and who is shooting darts at us!" Kain huffed.

"You act like this is my fault!"

"Well it is…sort of." Kain added.

"How so?"

"Would you two shut up for a moment so we could figure out how to save Aidou!" Takuma shouted at the two.

"Your right, he's the only one who could shed some light as to what is wrong with Zero." Kaname commented.

"Yea, but how do we do that?"

"In order to outwit a pirate, you must think like a pirate."

"You can't be serious, right?" Kaname questioned as he looked at Takuma with a raised eyebrow.

"In order to help Zero, we have to play along."

Kaname sighed. "Alright, so what's the plan?"

"Simple, we just invoke the right of parlay."

"And what the hell does that do?"

"Well Kain if you must know, it means that we must be taken to the captain to come to an negotiation and the captain just so happens to be Zero."

"So who's going to invoke the right of parlay?"

"I am." Takuma smiled.

Kain and Kaname looked at each other before looking toward Takuma. "Your having fun with this aren't you?"

Takuma stood and before he left, he turned to the two and answered. "More than you know."

Kain and Kaname both rolled their eyes before peeking over the couch to watch the scene unfold.

"Holt! Who goes there?" Zero inquired.

"Tis me, captain Blue Eyes." Takuma spoke. "I came to you under the right of parlay."

Zero looked at the blonde for a moment before nodding. "Come aboard me vessel captain, and together we shall negotiated your terms."

Takuma nodded and stepped onto the table with Zero, much to the amazement of Kain and Kaname who were sure the plan would turn to failure. After several minutes of quiet negotiation, Aidou was set free (still naked). Kain had never seen his lover run so fast to his side as he did.

"Takuma, how were you able to get him back?" Kain asked the blonde when he returned.

"As per our agreement to set Aidou free, I am exempt from any punishment given if we were to get caught by captain Silver Beard." Takuma beamed.

"You traitor!"

"Leave him, since what we needed the most is here." Kaname muttered over to Kain before looking over to Aidou. "Please tell us what the hell is going on."

Slowly taking the tap from his mouth, Aidou explained as much he could the start of the events.

Kain's eyes were round as saucers. "Dude, did he really karate chop the fish tank?"

"He was determined to get naked."

"Okay, I understand what caused this but how in the hell do we fix him?" Kaname asked after a moment of trying to process everything.

"I wish we had something that could tell us what to do?"

"You mean like that manual?" Takuma suggested as he pointed to the book that floated right in front of them.

Kaname immediately grabbed the book and flipped to the third chapter and read. "Neko's have highly sensitive noses like most common house cats but stronger, and with high inhalations or intake of certain plants, most typically those in the Nepeta (aka catnip) genus. Neko's could become highly intoxicated. When in extreme cases, Neko's should under any circumstances be left unattended with anyone who can't even take care of themself…"

"That's Aidou all right." Kain added in.

"I'm right here, you know." Aidou huffed.

"And your point is?"

"Would you two let me continue?" Kaname interrupted before going back to reading. "The following are a list of things a Neko shouldn't be succumbed to during the time of intoxication of catnip.
1. Neko's shouldn't watch TV or else they will mimic what they see.
2. Neko's must not see the color red or else their sadist side may surface.
3. Neko's mustn't for any reason be near any body of water (fish tanks included), since they will turn into pirates. Nor should they get wet or else they will strip naked.
4. Under no circumstances should a Neko be allowed to Rap."

"What the hell kind of warnings are these." Kain growled. Kaname couldn't agree more with Kain. Kaname didn't know who this Kaien Cross person was, but he so desperately felt the need to kick this old man's ass.

Looking through the chapter once more, Kaname came upon the solution on how to get Zero back to normal. As Kaname read through the entire sentence, a dark blush tainted his cheeks.

"I have to what?"

Takuma smirked when he read the solution. "To revert a Neko back to normal, the Master must slap the Neko on the fanny and nip his ear…oh my, how naughty."

"I'm pretty sure Kaname will enjoy that." Kain teased.

"S-Shut up." Kaname said to the two. "I may be the one who to do it, but you guys are going to help me catch him."

"Let Aidou do it?" Kain suggested, he was getting tired of having to keep hiding from the Zero, who god knows what he has planned for them.

"Hell no!" Aidou shouted. "You have no idea what he did to me."

"Oh please, it's probably not that bad."

"He stripped me naked, hog tied me and tried to spank me with a ruler!"

Kaname, Kain, and Takuma stared at Aidou before all three men stood.

"I think I should catch him." Takuma suggested with an innocent blush.

"Like hell! I'm the strongest compared to you two!" Kain countered with an even darker blush.

"Zero is my pet, so if anyone has to catch him then I think I should be the one to do it." Kaname's face was a whole new shade of red compared to the other two males beside him.

Aidou slapped his palm to his forehead and grumbled annoyingly. "You three all have weird hobbies."

With the determination and the thought of arousing Zero's more 'playful' side, the three men set off to conquer the silver haired beauty.

TBC…