SOLANGELO EPILOGUE, BY POPULAR DEMAND! Sorry if it sucks. And warning: Innuendo's ahead. Proceed at your own risk.
The Right Family
Alex Rider had endured many frustrating things. Megalomaniacs out for his blood, people underestimating him, stupid villains and Snake's medicals, to name a couple.
But by far the most frustrating thing he'd ever faced in his life was watching his two best friends dance around each other like daisies, completely unaware of the fact that the other was crushing hard on them and just being generally oblivious to matters of the heart. This was directed more at Nico than Will.
But Alex was at the point where he was tearing his hair out. K-Unit had tried everything – even locking the two in a closet – but nothing had worked. Will and Nico were still blushing idiots who weren't together yet.
Alex Rider shipped it. K-Unit shipped it. Brecon Beacons shipped it. Even Sargent Sanders fucking shipped it. But Nico and Will were no closer to being together, and it was driving everybody nuts.
Wolf, especially, was at his wits end.
"I swear," he growled over breakfast, his gaze set on the two demigods as they ate, Will obviously flirting and Nico obliviously flirting back, "I will smash their heads together if they don't kiss soon."
"That's abusive," Eagle noted. Wolf glared at him and Eagle went back to his slop.
"Cub," Jaguar said, "you're going to this Camp place with them tomorrow, right?"
Alex nodded.
"Can't you like, employ the Aphrodite kids to help you get these two together?"
K-Unit had boned up on their Greek mythology since the Dr Three incident, and one particularly funny night had been spent deciding what godly parent each soldier would have if they were demigods. Wolf had been Ares.
"I'm going to do everything I can," Alex muttered in reply, before Nico and Will dragged him into their conversation and he took sides in their argument of whether Nico was a bat-shit-crazy soldier or not. Alex noted that while Will was happy to include him, he kept giving Alex small glances of something the teen spy couldn't quite place.
Having all his stuff packed, Alex sat on Will's bed, leaning on his hands and gazing at the ceiling while the healer sorted his bag of things he was taking to Camp Half-Blood. He seemed excited to see the other demigods.
Nico had gone to cement their return date with the Sargent, who wanted his best soldiers and medic back as soon as the holiday ended. After all, there had to be a million and one people Alex and Nico had pissed off in their stint with Scorpia. Someone would be after their blood before the summer ended.
A typical day in the life of a teen spy and his demigod friends.
Not that he'd admit it, Alex was nervous about going to Camp Half-Blood.
"Hey, Will," Alex said, ignoring the rule that dictated use of codenames when in camp or on official business. Will looked up anyway, his ever-present smile twitching his lips.
"We're on camp grounds, Cub," he replied, mimicking the Sargent as best he could. "You must use codenames when inside Brecon fences."
Alex rolled his eyes. He was suspecting Will just liked having a codename.
"Fine," he huffed. "Jay."
Will smirked at him.
"Yes, Cub," he said.
When Will had gotten his codename, Nico and Alex had been with him. They were doing a run of the assault course when Sargent Sanders had interrupted, dragging the son of Apollo away with Alex and Nico.
"Kid," he'd said, straight to the point, "for security reasons, all our medics have codenames, not just the soldiers. Seeing as you're both, we need to give you one."
"How about Mother Hen," Nico had offered, giving Will a meaningful look. "Or just Hen. Because he fusses over us like one."
Sanders had tried hiding his smile behind a scowl.
"No," he'd refuted. Alex looked disappointed. "You're going to be known as Jay now, Solace. Dismissed."
Alex remembered this fondly. Mostly because afterwards Will had fussed over Nico for the sole reason of fussing over him, and Alex had said "Mama Jay" in Italian to Nico, who promptly burst out laughing while Will just looked confused.
Coming back to the present, Alex looked down at the bedclothes.
"About Camp Half-Blood," he said. "What'll happen when I get there?"
Will stopped packing and sat next to Alex on the bed.
"Well," he started, "we'll have to give you permission to enter and then you'll put your stuff away, meet Chiron and the head counsellors, and then probably just do camp things with us." He shrugged. "You're not the only mortal, either, and I'm positive you'll be better at most of the activities than some of the actual people there."
Alex was still troubled.
"Where am I going to stay though?" he asked. Will rubbed his chin.
"Guests normally stay in the Big House," he replied. "But I'm sure that you'll probably stay in the Hades cabin with Devil." Alex didn't miss the teeny-tiny flash of jealousy that curved Will's eyes for a second. "He'll like that."
And suddenly Alex understood.
"Oh shit," he gasped. Will looked at him strangely. "Oh shit, now I get it."
"Cub?" Will asked. "Alex? What's wrong?"
"You thought – oh."
Will looked utterly perplexed, if not worried.
But Alex didn't notice. The glances at breakfast. The excuses of going to the infirmary when Alex and Nico were sitting together talking. The reluctance to interrupt the two when they were play-fighting.
It all made sense.
"Will," Alex said, dismissing protocol and looking at his friend. "I am not dating Nico."
Will's face brightened and he started fiddling with his hands.
"W-What made you say that?" he stuttered. Alex put his hands on the other's shoulders, looking directly at him.
"Nico and I are just friends," he stressed. "And besides, he likes someone else."
Will let out a sigh.
"Sorry," he said quietly. "I thought – sorry."
"Yes," Alex said wisely, "you don't want to get your hopes up that the person you're obsessed with is dating one of your friends. It's natural." He shrugged. "But as much as I love Nico, it's a brotherly love. None of that-" he gestured with his hands "- slam-him-against-a-wall-and-make-out-with-him love."
Will buried his face in his hands and Alex laughed as he groaned.
"Fuck you, Rider," he grumbled. Alex put on a sly face.
"You know I'm not the one you should be saying that to," he said softly, and then he reeled back, holding his stomach with giggles as Will shot up, embarrassed and flustered.
"Alex!" he yelled, shoving the teen spy. Alex rolled off the bed with a thump, landing on the ground as Will loomed over him.
"Woah, feisty pants," Alex soothed, holding his hands out. But Will wasn't angry, as he thought. Instead, the army healer looked confused again.
"Who does Nico like?" he asked. "You said he likes someone else and it's not you…" Suddenly the son of Apollo's eyes went wide.
"He doesn't like Wolf does he?!"
Alex slapped his face, dragging his hands down it in exasperation and groaning.
"Oh my gods." He looked in physical pain. "You're just determined not to see it, aren't you?"
"Wha?" Will looked so confused that Alex had to worry about the medic's brain power.
Suddenly the door slammed open and Nico walked in, a small smile on his face.
"Hey guys ready to- uh, Alex? Why are you on the floor?"
Will scrambled back over the bed to his stuff, smiling cheerily at Nico as he blindly stuffed a couple of shirts into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Alex groaned, loudly this time, as he rolled along the ground to pick up his own things. Nico was looking between his friends curiously as he grabbed his pack and led the way out. The rest of K-Unit were outside, running the assault course one last time before their leave. Eventually, they were going to come and visit Nico, Will and Alex in New York as well. Eagle had told Alex that if Will and Nico weren't together by the time they came to the US, he was in trouble. He and Snake had made bets with the other Units, and they didn't want to lose all their money.
"Just looking for my socks," Alex lied, picking up a pair of balled socks beside him.
"Those are Will's," Nico said. Alex threw them to the other boy without looking at them.
"So they are," he said glibly. Nico raised his eyebrows, but then turned to leave. Alex, as the last one out, shut the cabin door behind him. Will breathed the fresh morning air in deeply and sighed before slinging his arms around Nico and Alex, hugging them all close.
"I love mornings," he said dreamily. "Especially mornings with two of my best friends." He squeezed their shoulders.
"Yeah, well," Nico grumbled. Alex could see his cheeks were slightly pink. He sighed. He'd need the Aphrodite cabin's help more urgently than he thought. "Let's get going."
They all nodded, and Nico led them into a shadow by the tree next to their hut. Alex felt the darkness tug at him as they disappeared into it.
They appeared on a hill, and despite being prepared for the effects of shadow travel, Alex had to lean on a tree in the hopes of controlling his gut and not up-chucking everything he'd eaten. Will was on the ground, breathing heavily.
"Really," Nico grumbled, "it's not that bad."
"Yes," Will panted, "yes it is."
When the two others had recovered, Will led the way down the slope.
"This is Half-Blood Hill," he explained to Alex. "And that giant pine tree is Thalia's Pine. It's the source of our magic boundary that shields us from mortals and monsters."
They reached said tree soon after and Will stepped up to it.
"I, Will Solace, grant Alex Rider permission to enter Camp Half-Blood."
Something shimmered in front of Alex as Nico shoved him forward until he was across the boundary line. The two demigods led the teen spy through the trees, until they reached the shrub line. Alex's mouth dropped open.
"Welcome to the world of Greek demigods," Will announced dramatically.
One tour later, Alex was taken to the Big House to meet Chiron the centaur. The hero trainer was in his wheelchair when they arrived.
"Ah, Will!" the elder greeted. "Nico!"
His eyes then rested on Alex and his smile became wider, if possible.
"And Alex Rider." He shook his head in wonderment. "We've heard plenty of things about you. Hermes himself deigned to visit us a while ago when he heard you were coming. You seem to have attracted the attention of the Olympians."
Oh shit, Alex thought. Chiron gave a chuckle, as if he knew what the blond boy was thinking.
"Nothing to worry about," he centaur reassured him. "They're rather impressed by you, in fact, Hermes especially. He said he's never seen a child venture into so many of his fields."
Thievery, trickery, lying, roads, speed, travel, athletics, Alex recounted. Yeah, I bet he hasn't.
"At any rate, Alex, I welcome you to Camp Half-Blood."
Alex nodded once.
"Thank you, Chiron."
"Off you go, then, boys." The centaur shooed them off.
They left the Big House porch, Will grinning wildly.
"That went well," he commented.
"Yeah," Alex agreed. "What do we do now though?"
"Well," Nico answered, "we could take your stuff to my cabin, if you want."
"Sure," the teen spy replied. He noticed Will looking between them again, but he didn't see the expression he had come to place as jealousy. Will understood they weren't dating. Good.
Then, Alex thought as Nico led the way to the Hades cabin, all I have to do is find the Aphrodite kids.
Dinner brought one thing Alex wasn't used to, or expecting.
Masses of attention.
When he entered the dining pavilion, there was instant silence. And when he sat with Nico at the Hades table, the silence somehow managed to become even quieter. Alex didn't want to eat with all these people staring at him.
"Okay, okay!" Will spoke up from the Apollo kids. "Yes, hello, it's Alex Rider, a mortal. Now quit your staring and get eating."
Most people turned away from him, realising now they were making him feel awkward. He caught the eye of a table of ridiculously pretty people – all of them. A nice-looking girl with choppy brown hair gave him a kind smile and a wave. He recognised her. Piper. A daughter of Aphrodite. He rubbed his hands; this would make his plan easier.
"You alright, Alex?" Nico asked, leaning across the wooden bench. Alex nodded, smiling.
"Just peachy," he replied. Then he gestured to his plate. "How does this work, though? Where's the kitchens?"
Nico snorted.
"It's self-serving," he told the teen spy. "Just tell it what you want and it'll appear."
Alex's eyes grew wide as he looked from Nico to the plate.
"Uh… spaghetti meatballs?"
Within seconds a steaming heap of delicious-smelling spaghetti meatballs was on the dish, making Alex's mouth water. He stared for a second, before gingerly picking up the knife and fork and prodding the mound of food. Nico watched him, amused. Alex twirled some stringy spaghetti on his utensil and then ate it.
"Woah," he mumbled. "That's… so good."
The remaining people staring at Alex were forgotten as the teen spy practically inhaled his dinner.
When he was finished, Alex made sure to keep his eye on Piper as she stood up and directed her cabin out of the pavilion. Her eyes locked with his and she gave a knowing smile. Silently, he slipped away from the Hades table, passing Nico being accosted by Percy and Jason, and ghosting down the steps, after the Aphrodite kids.
"Hi, Alex," a voice beside him said, and Alex turned to see Piper, grinning at him.
"Hey, Piper," he replied, holding up his hand in greeting. "What would you like?"
Piper shook her head.
"I sense it's you who wants something, not me."
Alex nodded.
"I'd like to enlist the help of the Aphrodite cabin to help me get Will and Nico together." He grabbed his head for emphasis. "Their dancing around each other is driving me nuts. It's pure torture!"
Piper rocked her head in sympathy.
"I'd like to help, Alex, I really would." She sighed. "But my siblings have tried everything there is. Before Nico disappeared, he and Will were the prime target for the Aphrodite cabin. There's nothing else we can do." Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him. "But I'd say a certain boy soldier has the ability to get them together."
"How do you even know that?" Alex groaned. Piper shrugged.
"Aphrodite intuition."
And left it at that.
Plagued by wondering how he was going to get his two best friends together, Alex nearly brained himself on a tree.
He was wandering the edge of the forest while Will and Nico did cabin inspection. He'd been invited to go along, but he'd declined, wanting to try and figure out what Piper meant by only he could get them together. It'd been slowly killing him for days.
The whole Aphrodite cabin tried, he cried mentally. They did everything they could. They dumped them in a closet together. They sent them on a date. They tried every subtle way to hint them togeth- oh.
Alex let go of his head.
Oh.
His eyes went wide.
OH.
His lips curved in a devious smile.
I got this.
Kidnapping the two would-be lovebirds from inspection duty by grabbing the backs of their shirts and dragging them inside the Hades cabin was a little easier than Alex first anticipated.
"Hey hey hey!" Will objected, his arms flailing around. Nico scowled and allowed himself to be taken away. He knew Alex well enough to just endure whatever the teen spy concocted.
Slamming the black, ornate doors behind him, Alex pushed Will and Nico into the middle of the room. Then he put his hands on his hips and glared at them.
"Not a word," he barked. "No interruptions, no words, no nothing. You just stand there and listen."
Nico opened his mouth. Will slapped his chin gently to close it again. Alex started pacing.
"You're both the thickest bricks I've ever met, and majority of Brecon agrees with me."
Will looked taken aback.
"Apparently, most of Camp Half-Blood too. Now, you two have been dancing around each other for months, and I'm sick to hell of it. The camp here has been trying to subtly push you two together, but because you're as ignorant as the last shower when it comes to this stuff, you didn't even notice."
Alex pointed to Will.
"Will Solace is head over heels for you, Nico."
Then he pointed at Nico.
"And Nico di Angelo is like a little puppy when it comes to you, Will.
"Now both of you just kiss already. The only way to get this through to you is a direct approach and there we go."
Alex bowed.
"Goodnight Vienna."
He wasn't sure where he'd heard that. He didn't care. He waved his hands and exited dramatically, closing the doors behind him.
"Done."
That night, Alex thanked his honed spy skills and sixth sense for warning him he was about to interrupt something before he entered the Hades cabin. Edging the door open the smallest bit and peering in, he saw something that made him squeal into his fist.
Nico di Angelo was on his tiptoes, his hand cupped around Will Solace's cheek as he leaned in and connected their lips. Alex could see the flush on both their faces and the crinkle in Nico's shirt that suggested it had been pulled up a little. He carefully edged the new iPod Nico had gotten him in return for blowing his old one up during the Dr Three incident, and slid the touch screen up so he had the camera pointed at the two. He took one, quiet photo, and then left, skipping across Camp Half-Blood to find Piper.
By the time K-Unit arrived in the US, Alex was ready to collect his betting wins.
And NOW we're done. 3000 word epilogue. Here's the real end. YAY! I had SO much fun writing this. Sorry if it sucks though, and seems rushed. THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME ALONG!
Jasmine Out, for the last time on A Devil for K-Unit.