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Things That Break
In his adult life, Kelly could only really recall breaking down twice. The first was when his mother died a few years ago, having been sick for so long. Andy had caught him back then, taking him out later that night to talk it out like friends do. The second was when Andy had died. Lacey had caught him that time in the bathroom, the water running to mask the sound; he had been trying to hold it together for her that whole time. And now, as he imagined Lacey in that twisted mess that was once her car, he felt the tears spring up again but he quickly blinked them away. After all, he hadn't lost her yet.
With another call coming in now, Boden left Kelly off by the emergency room entrance, Kelly racing inside, practically falling over out of his door. He noticed Shay and Dawson already running out, out on the other call, maybe another accident with someone else's girlfriend; he couldn't help but wonder. Shaking the thought from his mind, Kelly walked up to the nurses station.
"Hi," he said feeling a bit breathless. He wasn't sure if it was the running or the situation, maybe a little of both. "I need to know what's going on with a patient that was just brought in here. Lacey Darden. She was in a-"
"Are you her family?" the nurse asked him, her dark hair pulled back, her scrubs deep blue.
"I'm her boyfriend," Kelly clarified. "But, she was in a car accident. I just need-"
"I'm sorry," the nurse informed him. "I'm not allowed to release patient information to non family members."
"Are you serious?" Kelly snapped at her. "Look, her parents are in Florida right now and her brother-"
"Just got here," Casey said coming up to the nurses station and placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. He hadn't been far behind Kelly, having seen Kelly's face as they left the accident scene; Kelly was going to need support during this.
"I'm Lacey's step brother, Matt Casey," he lied as an introduction to the nurse. "Could you tell us what's going on with her?" While he hadn't been friends with Andy nearly as long as Kelly had, he did really love and miss him. With his closeness to Andy came a love for his family, making him care a lot about Lacey.
"I'll go speak with her doctor right now," the nurse assured them both, turning and going back to where she had spotted the attending ER doctor.
"Thanks," Kelly said to Casey, though he hadn't taken his eyes off the nurse as she moved over to the doctor, talking in low voices, occasionally glancing over at them. It didn't help anything, it only made him feel more nervous. The doctor was nodding, seeming to agree to come over since he followed the nurse back to the desk.
"You're here with Miss Darden," he observed, coming over to them. Before Kelly could ask, he started explaining. "I had her taken to the OR, she's in very capable-"
"What's going on with her?" Kelly demanded, tired of hearing about how Lacey was in such capable hands.
"It's very common, with head on collisions, to have a spleen laceration," the doctor explained. "When that occurs, there can be an internal bleed, which is our greatest concern right now." He sighed. "We're going to have to remove the organ, repair the bleeding. She'll need a transfusion for the blood she's lost." He studied Kelly's face for some kind of reaction. Kelly only seemed to be waiting for more news on his girlfriend. "In addition to that, just from observation, it looks as if her wrist is broken, she'll need some stitches for a few cuts." He ran a hand through his graying hair. "She's lucky her window was down, otherwise, she might have hit her head."
"Do you know what happened?" Kelly asked. "Did the other driver swerve over, or-"
"I'm not sure," the doctor said patiently, though he had other people he had to see. "I'm sorry, I have to..."
"It's all right," Matt waved him off, indicating that he would talk to Kelly about what happened. After talking to the other driver and seeing the scene of the accident, plus hearing a few whispers from Dawson and Shay about what was going on at home, he was pretty sure what caused Lacey's accident.
"What?" Kelly asked immediately, looking his friend over. "Was it brakes or something?"
"I know Lacey's been having...a hard time," Matt started out gently. "I know, since Andy, you've both been dealing with a lot..." Though he knew Kelly had to know, that he would find out eventually, he was stalling because he didn't know how to say it.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Kelly asked in confusion, a bit frustrated. "Yeah, she's had a couple nightmares, but that has nothing to do with this."
"She fell asleep while she was driving," Matt explained. "That's why she drifted over into the other lane."
Kelly didn't say anything, he only took it in slowly, running a hand through his hair. Lacey had been wearing herself thin for weeks, worrying about her nephews, about Heather, about him. She wasn't sleeping, she could never stay asleep without thinking about him in some accident like her brother. He could see it in her, how run down and worn out she was. There were bags under her eyes, she was pale in her face. Hell, he would even argue with her about this, when she would try to leave in the middle of the night.
"Ah," Kelly sighed, unsure of what his next move was supposed to be. Lacey was still upstairs in surgery. "I should, um, call her parents. And Heather."
"I can do that," Matt offered.
"No, I need to," Kelly shook his head, pulling his phone out. "You should, um, catch up on that call or..." He had no idea what to say, what to do. His girlfriend, the woman he loved, was upstairs in the operating room right now with internal bleeding. There was no need for experience in this field to know how serious that was. Unfortunately, in his time, he had come across a lot of internal bleed victims.
"I got assigned here," Matt said with a half smile, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. There was no way Kelly should be left alone right now, everyone knew that. He nodded over at the waiting room. "C'mon, let's go."
Kelly couldn't sit, not in the cold plastic chairs of the waiting room. "He got up, walking from one side to the next. They were the only ones in there, him and Casey. Matt was sitting in a chair, not saying anything to Kelly, just letting him be because he knew he would be just as bad, that there wouldn't be anything for anyone to say to him if it were Hallie. The silence, however, was starting to eat at them both, making them even more nervous as they waited for Lacey to get out of surgery.
"So, um," Casey started off saying. "Did you get a hold of her parents?" Kelly nodded.
"They're on their way to the airport, on standby," Kelly said, crossing his arms as he kept pacing.
"She's a tough girl man," Casey said of Lacey, trying to make Kelly feel better though it didn't seem to help.
"Mmm, I know," Kelly sighed, taking a seat next to Casey now. He ran a hand through his hair, smiling a little as a memory came to him.
"What is it?"
"I, uh, remember coming here with Andy and our dads," Kelly explained. "We were five. It was when Lacey was born."
"Known her a long time," Casey commented and Kelly nodded.
"And I just realized how amazing she is in the last few months," Kelly sighed, scratching his head. "It's not enough time...not as much as I want..."
"Hey, don't say stuff like that," Casey insisted. "Look, there's the nurse now." Kelly got up, anxiously awaiting the news that the nurse had about Lacey.
"Her surgery went well," she assured them both and Kelly let out a sigh of relief. "They're going to take her in to recover, then she'll need a cast. I can let you know when she's in her room."
"Thank you," Kelly said, feeling a weight come off as he knew she was ok.
Lacey woke up the next day, slowly and groggily. After her successful surgery, they had taken her to a hospital room where she was still somewhat sedated from the pain medication after her surgery. Now, as the doctors took the sedation away, she was beginning to wake up, remembering what happened in bits and pieces. She remembered closing her eyes, just for a second, like she was blinking. Then there was the loud noise, a car horn blaring at her. A flash, then nothing. Coming to grips with where she was, Lacey realized that she must have been in an accident, the heaviness on her left wrist letting her know it was broken and in a cast; in addition to that, her entire body ached with different pains. Bruises, cuts, bumps, some sharp pain in her side...
"Hey there," she heard a familiar voice saying. She looked up, her eyes adjusting to the lights, and she spotted Matt in the doorway to her hospital room, holding a vase full of multi-colored daises. "Ah, everyone at the station threw in," Matt explained, setting them on the table. "Dawson picked 'em out." He nodded over at Kelly, who was passed out in the chair next to her bed, his head tilted back and his breathing heavy.
"He hasn't moved since they got you in here," Matt told her as Lacey slowly turned her head on her pillow to look at Kelly. "I can get him, before I head back?" It came out more like a question than an offer; Lacey nodded, still feeling extremely weak. Matt went over towards the chair, patting Kelly on the shoulder, causing him to jump awake.
"What?" Kelly asked, looking around. He had been on high alert since they brought Lacey here, waiting for something to possibly be wrong. He was pleasantly surprised, however, to see her awake. "Lacey, hey," he said quickly, taking her good right hand, kissing the back of it before rubbing it between both of his. Matt had backed out, wanting to leave the couple alone. Kelly got up from his seat a little, leaning over to kiss Lacey, being very careful. He had been so afraid that he'd never get to kiss her again, to hold her again, talk to her...
"Mmm," she smiled against his lips, her voice soft. She knew he had probably been going crazy with worry, she knew that she would have; she wanted to make things lighter. "I wish I could always wake up like this."
"Really?" Kelly asked, settling back into his chair that he pulled a little closer, still hold her hand. "Because I'm kinda hoping you never wake up like this again." Lacey sighed, knowing they were going to have to talk about it.
"I was in an accident," Lacey finally said out loud, and Kelly nodded. "Where?"
"On your way to work," Kelly answered, squeezing her hand. Lacey realized quickly who must have been called to the scene, given what district her school was in.
"Oh no," Lacey shook her head, starting to feel panic though she didn't know why; everything was ok now. "Were you the ones that..." She trailed off as he nodded quietly. "God, Kelly, I'm sorry. I can't even-"
"No, babe," Kelly shook his head now, squeezing her hand. "Don't go there, all right?"
"What happened?" Lacey asked, not really remembering the full extent of the accident.
"You, um," Kelly said, taking a breath as he kissed her hand again, just so grateful that she was ok. "Baby, you fell asleep." Lacey's head sank back into her pillow. This sleep issue was taking a greater hold on her life. It had almost killed her.
"What, uh," Lacey said, blinking away tears, a mix of sadness and pain. "What's all wrong...with me?"
Kelly explained to her the full extent of her injuries, the broken wrist and bleeding, the injury to her spleen and it's removal. The doctors planned on keeping her for a few days, then it would still be a week until she could return to work. During that time, Kelly told her that he had already texted Shay and that Lacey was going to be staying with them. He also admitted to her that he had made an appointment with Shay's friend Kendra later that week to check out his shoulder; anything to give her peace of mind.
The week at the hospital passed slowly, with Lacey's parents arriving quickly from Florida to see their daughter and Heather bringing the boys by once to see their aunt. Since the accident, she knew that she couldn't keep the boys from Lacey anymore, that anything could happen at anytime so she agreed that, once Lacey was better, she would have them with her more often.
That afternoon, Kelly was carrying Lacey's bag for her to his apartment. He wanted her to stay with him for a lot of reasons, he wanted to be able to take care of her, not to mention that she just had surgery and her building didn't even have an elevator. As they got inside, they heard Shay upstairs as Kelly set Lacey's bag over by the bottom of the stairs.
"Couch," he ordered and she rolled her eyes playfully, hauling herself over there. She was much better now, though she still had the stitches in her side from her surgery, the cast on her wrist. The other bruises and cuts on her body, however, had faded. Wearing Kelly's gray hoodie over a pair of black leggings, she collapsed on the couch after setting her purse on the coffee table.
"You're bossy," she commented from where she was laying and he came over, smiling a little as he sat next to her on the edge.
"Do you need anything?" Kelly asked her.
"Mmmm," Lacey contemplated, smiling as she took his hand, pulling him closer to kiss him. "I can think of something."
"Lace," Kelly laughed as she kissed him again. "Shay's right upstairs."
"Then, let's go to your room," she said like it was obvious.
"Babe," he continued, sitting up away from her. "You're just really..." He struggled for the words. "Delicate right now."
"Oh please," Lacey rolled her eyes. "I'm fine."
"Yeah?" Kelly asked with raised eye brows. "Sit up."
"Sit up?" Lacey scoffed and he nodded. "Fine, I'll..." As Lacey tried to sit up, the pain in her side took over and she collapsed back, wincing.
"Yeah," Kelly said, grabbing the large bottle of percocet that Hallie had prescribed for her for the pain, between her broken wrist and her surgery. "Take one of these, all right?"
"I hate them," Lacey complained. They gave her one that morning as she was leaving the hospital and she had gotten sick from it.
"It'll make you feel better," Kelly said, wishing he could take one himself. He had gone to see Kendra that morning before taking Lacey home and learned the seriousness of his injury, though he continued to play it off to Lacey like it was nothing, that the doctor said it was nothing and she shouldn't worry. Since he had gone to see the doctor, she believed him.
"I'm gonna go get dinner," Kelly said, with them agreeing on pizza before they got home. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"
"Yes!" Lacey insisted, smiling again. It was sweet, but she didn't want him to keep worrying about her, hovering so much. "Just...go get me pizza."
"Ok," Kelly laughed, kissing her forehead. "Love you."
"You too," Lacey said and they noticed Shay coming downstairs from her room now.
"Pizza Shay, you in?" Kelly asked as she walked by, looking upset.
"Ah, yeah, sure whatever," she nodded, heading into the kitchen.
"Ok," Kelly said in confusion, watching her pull out her vodka from the lower cabinet. "Watch my girl for me, all right?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Shay agreed, not really listening as she got out a glass. Kelly and Lacey exchanged a shrug as he left to go get dinner for the three of them. Lacey turned her head over to where Shay was pouring herself a drink. Managing to sit up slowly, Lacey got up from the couch and went over to the counter.
"So," she said hesitantly as Shay started drinking. "You, um, want to tell me what's wrong?"
The pizza place took longer than expected, but Kelly eventually came back with two pizza boxes, one pepperoni, one cheese. As he opened the apartment door, he found Lacey and Shay sitting together on the couch. Shay was sitting with her head against Lacey's shoulder and Lacey rested her head on top of Shay's as they were talking, not noticing Kelly at first.
"Clarice just," Shay went on. "She's so different now." Oh God, not Clarice, Kelly thought to himself. She must have had a run in with Shay, the first time since they split up. "Ugh, break ups suck."
"Definitely," Lacey agreed. "Things just shouldn't break." She took another drink. "Things that break suck. Hearts..." She giggled a little. "Spleens." Shay let out a laugh too.
"Amen," Shay agreed, clinking glasses with her and they both drank.
"What, uh," Kelly laughed, getting them to look over though they continued to sit with their heads together. "What's going on?"
"Shay's sad," Lacey answered, patting her hand. He could tell they were both drunk. "So I drank with her."
"Lacey is so nice Kelly," Shay told him, then pointed at him. "Don't make her sad."
"Ah, I won't," Kelly chuckled, setting the pizza boxes down on the coffee table before looking at Lacey with concern. "Should you really be drinking with those pain killers babe?"
"I didn't take any," Lacey shook her head. "They're gross. Just..." She thought about what to do. "Take them back to the pharmacy...or throw them out..." She started laughing. "Sell them or whatever." Shay started cracking up with her as well. "Are you..."
"Picturing him," Shay nodded as they both continued to laugh hysterically over the idea of Kelly dealing drugs.
"I'll get some plates," Kelly said as the girls kept laughing, taking Lacey's medication over to the counter without notice. "And water."
"Boo," both girls protested.
"Oh my God," Kelly heard Shay saying as he pulled out three plates from the cabinet. "I never signed your cast!"
"Oh my God, you should!" Lacey nodded with her, making Kelly laugh to himself, getting water for the three of them. As Shay went over to the other room to look for a marker, he quickly opened the bottle of percocet, pouring two into his hand to take. If Lacey didn't want them, then what was the harm?
"All right," Kelly said, balancing the three glasses on the plates as he carried them over. "Who's hungry?"
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