thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows! :) sorry for the wait, writer's block! :( it means so much to me that you like the story! hope you like this update!

Not Always Easy

Lacey sat in the waiting room, anxious. She was sitting with Shay, waiting for someone to come out to talk to them about Kelly's surgery. The surgery was going to take eight hours. And, while that was long enough in itself, it felt like she had been in the hospital for three days. Now she knew what he must have felt like when she had to get surgery after her accident. It was agonizing. Finally, the nurse came back to talk to the two of them.

"How is he?" Lacey asked quickly as she and Shay got up from their seats.

"The surgery went well," the nurse assured them. "They're taking him into recovery now, I'll let you know when you can see him in his room."

"How long is he going to have to stay?" Shay asked her.

"Four days," she answered. "Mostly precautionary, to make sure he doesn't react to the anesthesia. And we'll be keeping an eye out for infection." She gave them a comforting smile. "I'll have his doctor talk more with you in a bit, but we will start him on something for pain management." Lacey bit her lip, glancing over at Shay but the nurse didn't notice the exchange, leaving the waiting room.

"What are we going to do for him?" Lacey asked Shay once they were alone.

"Take him home and care for him as best we can," Shay answered. "Take him to all his physical therapy-"

"You know what I'm talking about," Lacey said, keeping her voice low. "Trust me, I'm going to do everything I can to help him come back from this. But, we're not just dealing with someone who's had spinal surgery."

"We're dealing with someone in detox," Shay finished sadly, letting out a sigh. "I know."

"And that's sleepless nights," Lacey said, sinking back onto her chair. "Vomiting." She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Pain on top of what he's already dealing with." She looked over at Shay who sat with her now. "I'm worried about him."

"Me too," Shay agreed. "But, we just gotta be there for him. One day at a time."

"One day at a time," Lacey nodded quietly in agreement.

Kelly was starting to wake up now, feeling some pain in his upper back where the incision must be. The rest of his body just felt worn out, weak. He was sure the medication they gave him was to blame, though it was just making him drowsy as opposed to helping with the pain he was feeling. He figured he must have built up a tolerance to pain medication, having maxed out the percocet he had been taking in the last few weeks.

"Hey," he heard a gentle voice saying. He looked over and saw Lacey had pulled a chair up close to his bed, her hand resting on his. "How are you feeling?"

"Mmm," Kelly grunted, closing his eyes. The more awake and aware he was, the more the pain intensified. Lacey bit her lip, not sure what to say next.

"Shay was here," Lacey told him, running her hand on his arm. "But, she had to take Clarice to the doctor."

"Mmm, k," Kelly told her.

"We'll get to take you home in a few days," Lacey said lightly. "I talked to Shay and Clarice, we were-"

"That sounds great Lace," Kelly stopped her. He wasn't worried about getting home or going to physical therapy next week. He was worried about the pain radiating from his back and into his shoulders.

"Do you need anything?" Lacey asked him and he opened his eyes to look at her again.

"Still got that bottle of percocet?" Kelly asked lightly, though he had flushed it himself the night they had their fight. "Cause these meds they got me on now aren't doing shit."

"Morphine," Lacey informed him. She had hoped that, having him on a normal dose of pain medication at the hospital might help to ween him off and make the withdrawal less severe. It didn't look like that was the case though as he was heavily agitated, a mix of the pain and the slow detox.

"I don't care what it is," Kelly grumbled. He could tell he'd upset her with how he was being. "I'm sorry Lace."

"It's ok," Lacey brushed it off. She couldn't even begin to understand the level of pain and discomfort he was in right now. "Did you...want me to call your dad or-"

"No," Kelly shook his head. "I'd just rather sleep right now." He glanced her over. "You don't have to stay."

"Of course I do," Lacey insisted. "You don't have to be by yourself."

"I don't want you seeing me like this," Kelly snapped at her. "Looking like shit, laying out in a hospital bed." It was the pain, the detox making him angry at her; he'd never normally talk to her like that.

"I'll, um, be downstairs," Lacey told him, getting up and heading for the cafeteria, not wanting to leave the hospital and having not eaten all day.

"Lace," Kelly complained, but she shut the door to the hospital room. Maybe it was better not to talk right now.

Since Lacey wasn't working right now with it being the holidays, she spent the next few days at the hospital with Kelly. He was still pretty edgy, but he tried to keep a handle on it, finding it better to keep most of his thoughts to himself rather than snap at his girlfriend continually. She called Benny and he came to the hospital once, though Kelly almost had it out with him in the hospital.

He didn't want to see anyone or talk to them. Didn't they understand? He felt like hell and couldn't take any medication for it. On top of that were the aches and pains that came with withdrawal, constantly feeling nauseous and agitated. He didn't want all these people telling him how amazing it was, how great he was doing, how lucky he was. He certainly didn't feel lucky; he felt like he'd been hit by a train. He just had to sit and watch Shay go off on shift, down to work where he longed to be doing the job that he loved.

Kelly followed Lacey into the empty apartment that afternoon, his first day home. Clarice was with her parents getting the rest of what she needed for the baby to arrive while Shay was on shift. They had barely spoken since she had picked him up, making polite small talk as she drove him in his car on the way home. He didn't care that Lacey was driving, but he did care that he wasn't allowed to drive. Not up for going upstairs right now, Kelly sank onto the couch while Lacey dropped his duffel bag by the staircase.

"Are you hungry?" Lacey asked lightly, going over to the the refrigerator and opening it to scope out any leftovers from that week.

"Kinda," Kelly shrugged. "Hey...Lace?"

"Hm?" she asked, turning around to see him.

"I'm really sorry," he apologized to her.

"You don't have to be sorry," Lacey told him as she went to sit next to him. She sat sideways with her legs under her, rubbing the back of his head gently.

"Yeah, I do," Kelly said back. "I know I haven't been..." He didn't know how to say it. "Easy to be around lately. I've been kind of a dick to you."

"You just had surgery," Lacey reasoned. "You can be a dick to whoever you want to." She smiled a little, making him smile back as well.

"Not to you," Kelly said. "You've been so great through this."

"Don't get too crazy," Lacey grinned at him. "Because I wasn't kidding about kicking your ass through physical therapy." She kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Lacey was taking Kelly to physical therapy every day since she was still on break from school. With each session, she could see an amazing improvement in Kelly's strength. She was sure that he was going to be back to himself in no time, back to work and everything. While the physical therapy was helping him get through the surgery, there still wasn't much she could do for the withdrawal. She had read that it could take at least a month before the withdrawal wasn't as bad, months before it went away. Coming home that afternoon from her parents, she found Kelly vomiting in their bathroom. She left but returned quickly with a bottle of gatorade.

"Thanks," Kelly grumbled as he got up, flushing the toilet and then rinsing his mouth at the sink.

"How are you feeling?" Lacey asked gently as she handed him the bottle. He gave her an obvious look as he sipped the sports drink. "Right, sorry." She bit her lip. "I have some news."

"Mmm, what kind?" Kelly asked as he went back into their room, collapsing on their bed as the pain was flaring up a bit.

"The good kind," she assured him, laying out on her back next to him, both of them looking up. "You know how Thanksgiving is always at my parents, then Christmas was always with Andy and Heather?"

"Uh huh," Kelly nodded. He remembered since he was always part of the Darden holidays, his dad always away and his mother gone. He wasn't sure how this was supposed to make him feel better though. Heather was still a problem with him and it was either going to be Lacey went to her family's alone for Christmas, or she didn't see them because she spent the day with him.

"Well, Heather wanted you to come next week," Lacey said, looking over at him. He turned his head over to her in confusion.

"You're serious?" Kelly asked with raised eye brows; she nodded.

"If you want," Lacey told him. "I figured we'd go over to Heather's, see the boys."

"Yeah, that's great Lace," Kelly agreed.

Today, like most days, was still hard but Kelly fought through it. Shay and Clarice were already gone, spending the morning with her parents and the rest of her family since Shay's family lived out of town. Kelly and Lacey got up early, heading over to Heather's. Even though he felt pretty miserable, nauseous mostly since the pain had started to go away in his shoulders and neck, he was still ecstatic to see the boys; the feeling was mutual.

"Uncle Kelly!" the boys cheered as they came over to hug him. Lacey's parents were already there, the boys having started opening presents with them and their mother.

"Hey!" Kelly laughed, hugging them both.

"Kelly, come here, look," they were telling him.

"Ahem," Lacey laughed as she followed the three of them into the living room, her parents sitting on the couch and Heather on the floor by the tree. "I'm hurt guys!"

"Hi Aunt Lacey!" Jack said first, hugging her.

"Hi!" Sean said second, hugging her now.

"That's better," she laughed, kissing his head before releasing him. As she was hugging her nephews, Kelly was greeted by her parents, hugging her mom first, then shaking hands with her dad.

"Hey Mr. Darden," Kelly greeted him.

"Kelly," he smiled at him. "How's your shoulder?"

"Better," Kelly nodded, this being the first time in a long time that it was true. "I have my eval next week, to see if I can start going on shift again."

"I bet you're back in no time," Heather chimed in, Sean climbing in her lap on the floor to open his next present.

"Thanks Heather," Kelly told her.

This was one of the better days Kelly had in a long time. He wasn't fighting off any pain, he wasn't hiding any secrets, abusing medications, lying to his girlfriend. He was just there, being happy with her and her family on Christmas. He got to spend the day with Andy's kids and feel like he was wanted there by Heather. They were getting along great, their family comfortable in every way. This was what he had always wanted. He got to be with the girl he loved and be completely at ease.

"Hey," Kelly pulled her off to the side and into the kitchen so they could be alone. The kids were burned out, curled up on the couches with their grandparents and mom under a million blankets as they watched Christmas specials.

"Hm?" Lacey laughed as he hugged her close, planting a kiss on her head as she looked up at him.

"I wanna give you your present," he told her.

"We already did presents," she said in confusion as he reached into his pocket.

"I got you something else," Kelly said, handing her the little box.

"Kelly," Lacey complained as she opened it, not having gotten him anything else. Inside there was a necklace with a delicate angel charm on it. "Kelly!" she said as she look at him now. "It's..." She didn't know what to say. "Really pretty, thank you."

"For my guardian angel," he told her with a smile.

"Kel," she said, trying to make it sound like she was complaining again, but really she was touched.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Kelly said to her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled, standing up on her toes to kiss him. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Kelly smiled at her.

thanks for reading! :) again, sorry for the wait! hope you liked it, more soon! :)