Stave Five: The End of it.
Tywin awoke with a thud, tumbling from his chair and found himself staring into the shard of a broken glass. He shot away in the opposite direction with a thundering thud. At that point a guard came hurrying in towards his lord. "Lord Tywin, are you hurt?" he asked helping Tywin to his feet.
"Hurt? No, my dear man. Why, I feel better than I have in many years!" Lord Tywin smiled, a most unusual feature. "Now fetch my morning meal, make sure the bacon is thoroughly cooked!" he cried. The guard simply bowed and retreated from the romm with a bewildered look on his face but what did it matter now? This is what he would live for; to show them that he was not the man he was. Just as Aerys had said!
He was so fluttered and so glowing with his good intentions, that his broken voice would scarcely answer to his call. He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with the Spirit, and his face was wet with tears.
"They are not torn down." Beamed Tywin , folding one of his bed-curtains in his arms, "they are not torn down, rings and all. They are here - I am here - the shadows of the things that would have been, have been dispelled. They have been. I know they will." His hands were busy with his garments all this time; turning them inside out, putting them on upside down, tearing them, mislaying them, making them parties to every kind of extravagance.
"I don't know what to do." He cried, laughing and crying in the same breath. "I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A blessed winter to everybody. A bountiful spring to all seven kingdoms!." He had frisked behind his esk, and was now sitting there: perfectly whezing.
Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years, it was a splendid laugh, a most illustrious laugh. The father of a long, long line of brilliant laughs.
"I don't know what day it is." Said Tywin. "I don't know how long I've been among the Spirits. I doubt if I know anything ow,I'm quite a baby. Never mind. It hardly matters. I'd rather be a baby. Hallo here." His breakfast was brought in by a scullery maid, who upon seeing tywin's ar to ear grin pratically ran out of his chambers. As he nibbled on the bacon, he pondered on how to spend the day. Finally, he walked out and as his Honoir guards stood to attention he gave them a friendly pat on the shoulder and some kind words. Along the way he gave warm words of encouragement and greetings to all he came across.
Through the storm that had, for the most part, died down he could ringing out the lustiest peals he had ever heard. Clash, clang, hammer; ding, dong, bell. Bell, dong, ding; hammer, clang, clash. His high holiness must be in good spirits today! Oh, glorious, glorious.
Running to the window, he opened it, and put out his head. No fog, no mist; clear, bright, jovial, stirring, cold; cold, piping for the blood to dance to; Golden sunlight; Heavenly sky; sweet fresh air; merry bells. Oh, glorious. Glorious.
"You, what's today." Asked Tywin, calling downward to a coal boy in, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.
"My Lord hand?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.
"What's the day, my fine fellow?" said Tywin.
"Midwinters day, Lord Tywin." The boy replied.
"Midwinters day!" said Tywin to himself. "I haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. Boy." Tywin called
"My lord." returned the boy.
"Do you know who procures the richest pheasants in King's Landing?" Tywin inquired.
"I should hope I did, my lord!" replied the lad.
"Smart boy." Said tywin. "Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there? Not the little prize Turkey: the big one."
"It's hanging there now, lord Tywin" replied the boy.
"Good." said Tywin. "Go and buy it. I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell them to bring it here, that I may give them the direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and I'll give you a silver stag. Come back with him in less than five minutes and I'll give you a full golden dragon."
The boy was off like a shot. He must have had a steady hand at a trigger who could have got a shot off half so fast.
"I'll send it to Bob's." whispered Tywin, locking his hands behind his back, and splitting with a laugh. "He shan't know who sends it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim. Joe Miller never made such a joke as sending it to Bob's will be."
The hand in which he wrote the address was not a steady one, but write it he did, somehow, and went down-stairs to open the street door, ready for the coming of the butcher's man. As he stood there, waiting his arrival, the knocker caught his eye.
"Ah,Here's the Turkey. Good morning, how are you? Blessed Midwinter!"
It was a Turkey. He never could have stood upon his legs, that bird. He would have snapped them short off in a minute, like sticks of sealing-wax.
"Seven hells, it's impossible to carry that from Flea bottom. Do you have a cart?" cried Tywin.
The chuckle with which he said this, and the chuckle with which he paid for the Turkey, and the chuckle with which he paid for the escort back, and the chuckle with which he recompensed the boy, were only to be exceeded by the chuckle with which he sat down breathless in his chair again, and chuckled till he cried.
He dressed himself all in his best, and at last got out into the halls of the Red Keep. The people were by this time pouring forth, as he had seen them with the Ghost of Christmas Present; and walking with his hands behind him, Tywin regarded every one with a delighted smile. He looked so irresistibly pleasant, in a word that three or four good-humoured fellows said, 'Good morning, sir. A merry Christmas to you.' And Lord Tywin said often afterwards, that of all the blithe sounds he had ever heard, those were the blithest in his ears.
He had not gone far, when coming on towards him he beheld the portly gentleman, who had walked into his chamber yesterday requesting donations. It sent a pang across his heart to think how this old gentleman would look upon him when they met; but he knew what path lay straight before him, and he took it.
"My dear sir," said Tywin, quickening his pace, and taking the old gentleman by both his hands. "How do you do? I hope you succeeded yesterday. It was very kind of you. A blessed midwinter, my lords." Tywin smiled.
"Lord Lannister." They bowed.
"Yes," said Lord Tywin. `"That is my name, and I fear it may not be pleasant to you. Allow me to ask your pardon." Here Tywin whispered in his ear.
"Smith bless us!" cried the gentleman, as if his breath were taken away. "Lord Tywin, are you serious?"
"If it please," said Tywin. "Not a copper less. A great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you. Will you do me that honour?"
"My dear sir," said the other, shaking hands with him. "I don't know what to say to such generosity. Thank you, and thank his grace!"
"Don't say anything please,' retorted Tywin boldly. "Come and see me. Will you come and see me?"
"I will." promised the old gentleman. And it was clear he meant to do it.
"I Thank you," said Tywin. "I am much obliged to you. I thank you fifty times. Seven Blessings upon you."
He went to the great sept, a small guard at his side, and walked about the streets, and watched the people hurrying to and fro, and patted children on the head, and questioned beggars, and looked down into the kitchens of houses, and up to the windows, and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He had never dreamed that any walk - that anything - could give him so much happiness. In the afternoon he returned to his squire's chambers.
He passed the door a dozen times, before he had the courage to go up and knock. But he made a dash, and did it:
"Is your master at home, my dear?" said Tywin to the girl. She was a pleasant girl, very comely.
"Yes, milord."
"Where is he?" asked Tywin
"He's in the dining-room, Lord Tywin" she said, observing his chain of office. "along with mistress. I'll show you up-stairs."
"That won't be necessary, he knows me," said Tywin, with his hand already on the dining-room lock.
He turned it gently, and sidled his face in, round the door. They were looking at the table (which was spread out in great array); for these young housekeepers are always nervous on such points, and like to see that everything is right.
"Fred." Said Tywin.
Dear heart alive, how the Frey girl stared. Tywin had forgotten, for the moment, about her sitting in the corner with the footstool, or he wouldn't have done it, on any account.
"Who's that?" exclaimed a voice from another room
"Lord Tywin, may I come in Fred?" Let him in. It is a mercy he didn't shake his arm off. He was at home in five minutes. Nothing could be heartier. His wife looked just the same. So did Topper when he came. So did the plump sister when she came. So did every one when they came. Wonderful party, wonderful games, wonderful unanimity, wonderful happiness.
But he was early back at his chambers. Oh, he was early there. If he could only be there first, and catch Bob coming late. That was the thing he had set his heart upon.
And he did it; yes, he did. The clock struck nine. No Bob. A quarter past. No Bob. He was full eighteen minutes and a half behind his time. Tywin sat with his door wide open, pretending tp wite a letter for that prwctise usually occupied his time, that he might see him come in.
His helm was off, before he opened the door; his comforter too. He was on his stool in a jiffy; driving away with his pen, as if he were trying to overtake nine o'clock.
"Guardsman." Deadpanned the fearsome Tywin the Terrible, with that cold hard stare, in his accustomed voice, as near as he could feign it. "What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?"
"My most sincsirest apologies my lord," said Bob, kneeling. "I am behind my time.2
"You are." Repeated Lord Tywin. `"es. I think you are. Step this way, ser."
"It's only once a season, my lord" pleaded Bob, appearing from the Tank. 2It shall not be repeated. I was making with my family yesterday, Lord Tywin." Tywin knew only too well.
"No, I'll tell you what, my friend," said Tywin, "I am not going to stand this sort of thing any longer. And therefore," he continued, casually walking around the tablt to the place where Bob was, arms locked by his side and giving Bob such a dig in the shoulder that he staggered back again; "therefore I am compelled, by the laws of Gods and men, to raise your salary.'
Bob trembled, and got a little nearer to the ruler. He had a momentary idea of knocking Tywin down with it, holding him, and calling to the people in the court for help and a strait-waistcoat.
"A blessed midwinter to you and your family, Bob,' said Tywin, with an earnestness that could not be mistaken, as he clapped him on the back. "A merrier midwinter, Bob, my good fellow, than I have given you for many a year. I'll raise your salary, and endeavour to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a winters bowl of smoking bishop, Bob. Make up the fires, and buy another coal-scuttle before you dot another 'I'."
The Lord of Lannister was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he took him on as a page and later squire. He became as good a friend, as good a lord, and as good a man, as the any in King's landing (or beyind) knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.
He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep the winter spirit well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, Gods bless Us, Every One!