It was the first week of December and the friends had gathered at Howard and Bernadette's for a relaxing evening. The girls admired Howard's craftsmanship in the nursery, as they helped Bernie put away freshly washed, by the laundry expert himself, baby clothing. The men were in the living room trying to teach the three young boys how to use the Xbox controller, in sad attempt to hide the fact that they were actually playing themselves. When the pizza final arrived they friends dispersed, all remaining in the main living area.
"Big News! "Amy shouted, startling…everyone, "After months of debate, Sheldon and I have finally come to a decision on what to name our off spring."
"Although, they are still subject to change," Sheldon muttered.
"Well," Leonard smiled, "Let's hear them."
"I allowed Sheldon to choose the name for the female twin. I, myself, am not too secure with it, but it is growing on me, and is the only name we could agree on that Sheldon felt was suitable. So I believe as the name giver, he should tell the group." Amy turned to her partner.
"Brace yourself," Howard whispered to Bernadette as she let out a tiny giggle.
"Perrin Farrah Cooper," Sheldon sighed looking dreamily off into the distance.
"Perrin, like from Star Trek?" Raj questioned.
"Well of course, Amy shot down, Lois Lane, Harley Quinn, and Princess Leia, what else was I supposed to name her?" he shot a glare at Amy, while the rest of the group sat in confusion.
"Ok," Bernadette smiled, trying to be kind, "How about the boy twin?" she asked, hoping his name would be better than his sister's name.
"Sheldon Lee Cooper 2," she smiled from ear to ear.
"Don't you mean, the second, or perhaps junior," Layla asked with skepticism.
"No, just 2, similar to 2.0, only shorter," Amy explained, "I couldn't think of a more perfect name for him, than that of his fathers!"
"Isn't she just a hoot and a half?" Sheldon laughed, smiling at her, as the rest of the group looked on in awkwardness.
"You know, that's bad luck in my religion," Howard said while taking a bite of his pizza, "We only name our children after people who have already passed on!"
"I didn't know that," Leonard said with a hint of curiosity.
"We don't pick random names either," he added.
"Is that bad luck too?" Penny exclaimed as Howard nodded, "Dang, that's going to be tough!"
"It's a really sweet tradition though," Bernadette smiled proudly at her knowledge of her husband's religion, "it's so when the child asks about the name, the parents are able to tell them of the story of who they are named after, and can carry on that person's legacy. Howie is named after his Zayde, the one who originally purchased the garnet in my ring."
"How difficult is it for you to find names you like?" Layla sked as a follow up to Penny's exclamation.
"Well…it's not that difficult…" Bernadette replied quietly.
"How many do you have picked out?" Amy cut her off.
The couple looked at each other with nervous expressions and turned back to their friends, and in unison said, "None."
"We just can't find one that fits yet," Howard shrugged, "Until then, baby Wolowitz will do just fine," he patted his wife's tummy.
"Baby Rostenkowski-Wolowitz," Bernadette smiled with annoyed eyes, kindly correcting him.
"Uhh, you are still on this!" Howard sighed in exasperation, removing his hand.
"Yes, it involves my last name for our baby, of course I'm still 'on this,'" she spat.
"Did we miss something here?" Leonard asked.
"Yes," Howard fake smiled through his teeth, "Bernadette is insisting that we hyphenate the baby's last name!"
"So," Layla responded, "She's the one pushing it out of her!"
"Thank you Layla," Bernadette smirked at Howard, as if to say 'Haha, I'm right.'
"Ya, but think about growing up with a long ass last name like Rostenkowski-Wolowitz," Penny added, "Even without the first name that would never fit on a name tag!"
"Thank you Penny," Howard looked to his wife, "See someone understands my points, and actually agrees with me!"
"I'd go with just Rostenkowski," Penny stated, "It's harder to make fun of!"
"Hey, wait what?..." Howard began.
"Don't do that to poor Howard!" Amy interrupted, "His masculinity is already severely threatened by Bernadette's bread winning ability, and his speculated homosexual relationship with Rajesh!"
"Thank you Am…wait what?" Howard said again.
"It's really not that big a deal Howard," Leonard sighed, "Lots of kids have two hyphenated last names."
"Ya, a majority of kids with divorced parents," Howard tried to argue another point.
"This kid's parents will end up divorced if we can't even decide on a last name!" Bernadette yelled angrily, standing and pointing at her belly.
"Well, then I guess you'll get what want after all!" Howard folded his arms and turned away from Bernie, clearly annoyed.
The room went silent as they watched Bernadette slide back into her seat, her eyes never leaving the back of Howard's head. He wouldn't move. The others ate awkwardly, never making direct eye contact with either one of them, knowing they were partially to blame. Raj looked between the two of them, they hadn't fought like this in a long time, sure it was normal for the two of them to have a spat or two, but not to this extent. He watched as Howard's face softened, he wasn't angry with Bernadette, he was angry at himself for bring up the topic in the first place. Before Howard could even turn around to apologize, a muffled sob broke the silence behind him. It was obviously Bernadette, her face turned away from the others, not wanting them to see her cry, trying her hardest not to make a sound. Howard stood, taking her hand.
"Want to go to our bedroom and talk?" she tore her hand away and without a word left the room, "Just give us a second," he explained to his friends.
By the time Howard had reached the bedroom, Bernie was curled on the bed, facing away from him. Being the good husband he tried so hard to be, he too joined her. Howard tenderly placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and began crying again. He then pushed himself up against the headboard and watched helplessly, he didn't know what to do or what to say, without making the situation worse.
With little tears forming in his own eyes, Howard finally whispered, "I know this sounds selfish, but can you please stop, I can't handle it when you're like this, I feel so useless."
His wife's tear stained face turn to look at him, "You're not useless, you're perfect, ever since I told you about our baby, you've been the most wonderfully supportive, helpful, caring, husband in the entire universe. Then what do I do, ruin it by threatening to divorce you because we couldn't agree on a last name. You're so stable, I'm just crazy. I told you I wouldn't be a good mother!" She sat up against the headboard, looking him in the eyes.
Howard brought her into his arms, this time she didn't object, "Bernie," he sighed, "you're the one who's pregnant, you're the one who gets to be crazy! It's completely justifiable with all the change going on in your body! That's why I have to be the stable one because if were both crazy…well, all hell would break loose and nuclear war would start in this apartment! This argument, has nothing to do with you being a good mommy or not, I promise. I'd be concerned about your parenting if you weren't freaking out about having our first baby!"
"There you go again," She giggled through her tears, "being all understanding and normal!
"That's my job, baby!" he kissed her forehead, "I already had my chance to be crazy, but you told me if I wanted a baby so badly I'd have to buckled down and start acting more mature. So I did. If you need a moment to be immature and crazy, that's ok, you've put up with more than enough of my insane, stupid, childish, moments. And remember, when I married you, I married all of your crazies, discovered and undiscovered. Just like you married be despite my mother! Soon enough, we won't even have a chance to be crazy, because that'll be the kid's job and we'll have to be the sane ones for eighteen years! Howa crazy is that?"
Bernadette laughed, "I love you, Howie!"
"I love you too, little lady. How about we go back out there and finish the evening," Howard kissed her.
"I would like nothing more," Bernie smirked, taking his hand as the two walked out into the living room together.
A/N: Hey all, I don't normally write notes but I just wanted to inform you that on my page I have a poll going to see what my readers think Howard and Bernie's baby will be. This will not determine the actual sex of the baby, I just want to see if any of you are thinking the same way I am! So for my amusement please vote away!