Howard and Bernadette's flight left midday on Christmas Eve. They had just wrapped up Hanukkah with Mrs. Wolowitz and Christmas brunch with the Rostenkowski's. By now they were more than ready to see their friends. Howard nervously tapped his foot and impatiently waited, there was something he had to tell Bernie, just not now. They boarded the plane, the flight went by quickly, and upon their arrival, the friends, as well as Penny's parents stood in the terminal.
"Nee nee!" Peter ran into Bernadette's legs almost knocking her over. Although he looked identical to Leonard he sure had Penny's strength.
"Whoa there little man!" Howard grabbed peter and threw him in the air, "We have to be careful with Nee nee, remember?"
"Ya, but I want Nee nee to come ice skating with me!" he pouted, "We're going now!"
"Awe sweetie, I can't go ice skating," Bernadette laughed as Peter practically dove into her arm, "Maybe Uncle Howard will help you?"
"I'm pretty good too!" he nudged the two year old.
"Ok…" the boy sighed, rolling his eyes, as they followed the others to baggage claim.
Moments later they were at the local ice rink. Amy had accompanied Penny and her parents back to their home for the weekend for some much needed rest. Leonard, Raj, and Howard bumbled around on the ice attempting to teach the boys, but truth be told, they were not much better. Bernadette, Sheldon, and Layla stood on the outside and watched the fiasco unfold. Baby Ravali slept soundly in her mother's arms, cuddled in a warm pink sleeper, and bundled in another blanket.
"Layla if you want to skate, I'll watch her for you," Bernadette offered.
"Really? That would be fantastic!" her friend responded, laying the sleeping child in Bernie's arms, before running off to rent a pair of skates.
Ravali was precious, however, unlike Peter, Bernadette never knew what side of her she would receive. The girl had her sweet moments where she loved everyone, but she could be quite finicky and could scream her head off, and unfortunately, today was one of those days. Only moments after her mother left, the little pink bundle began to wail. Bernadette tried everything she could, feeding her, burping her, changing her diaper, but to no avail, baby Ravali continued to cry. Layla returned holding her skates and Raj glided off the ice, both wanting to assist their daughter.
"I'm sorry," Bernadette sighed, "I promise, I tried everything."
"It's ok," Raj scooped up his little girl, "sometimes she can just be a Little Miss Fussy Pants!" The moment Ravali made eye contact with her father, she cooed and the crying stopped. Bernadette's face fell.
"It's ok Layla, go skate with the boys. I think she's chilly, I'm going to take my Little Flower inside the mall for a moment," Raj smiled walking away from them, as Layla slipped on her skates and went over to save the boys.
Bernie looked down at the bump under her coat. Who was she kidding from moment one, she knew she would never be cut out for this "mother thing!" Children didn't like her, she wasn't fond of children, it was a simply obvious fact. She couldn't help but feel frustrated. Although he was typically unaware of every outside situation, Sheldon could not help but notice the distressed expression on his friend's face.
"Bernadette," Sheldon began, "Would you like to accompany me to get a hot beverage?" for once, someone did not protest. Bernadette nodded and followed him to the hot chocolate cart, where he paid the man for two cups.
"Thanks Sheldon," she whispered.
"You seem, well at least from my knowledge, glum. What's vexing you?" Sheldon asked, trying to seem interested by her petty problem.
"I don't think I can do this "mommy thing", Sheldon. Sometimes I think Howard would be better off raising this baby without me," Bernie sighed, sipping some of her cocoa.
Fear overcame Sheldon's face. He did NOT like change, he had already grown accustomed to the idea of the Wolowitz-Rostenkowski clan transitioning from a dyad to a triad. However, the potential threat of Bernadette leaving, not only caused trouble for her family, but the entire group, and most especially him.
"You can't do that!" Sheldon yelled like a child, "That's not fair! It messes everything up!" his heart rate began to increase and panic swirled within him.
"Hey, shh, Sheldon, it's ok!" Bernadette grabbed the lanky man and pulled him to a nearby bench. His head immediately went to her lap as he formed the fetal position. She gently stroked his arm, trying not to draw more attention to the situation.
"Promise me you won't leave Bernadette," he begged, "Please don't hurt me, don't hurt our friends, don't hurt Howard, and please don't hurt your offspring, it's little brain won't be able to fully process the situation, but one day it will know the pain!"
"Ok, Sheldon, please calm down. I'm not going anywhere, I promise! It was a stupid thought," she replied, "It's just going to be hard for me to transition into this new role, I feel…so uncomfortable!"
"Well of course it's going to be uncomfortable," Sheldon's head popped up, "Change is always uncomfortable. That's why I don't like it. However, Leonard says that sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to, for the people we love, and eventually we too will grow accustomed to it. Some days I still can't handle all of the changes my life has taken, but I try, for Amy. Bernadette you are far more adaptable to change than I am, at least from what I can tell from observation."
"But what if I can't adapt to being a mother?" she huffed.
"What are you saying?" Sheldon asked, "You have always been a mother! I mean look how well you've handled all of us."
"What do you mean?" Bernadette looked to him with confusion.
Sheldon sighed to himself, "Must I explain everything! Bernadette you provide an attentive eye to Leonard's menial work, giving him pride for what he does. You told Raj that any girl would be lucky to have him for he is a "cutie pie", giving him reason to hope for the future. You babysat Penny on numerous occasions when she was intoxicated, to show her care. You provide Amy with the ability to be a companion on her own intellectual level, as well as a gal pal, showing that you are understanding of her on all levels. You were the first person to meet Layla and befriend her, showing her acceptance into our social circle. You required Howard to become more mature for your relationship to further develop, allowing him to make decisions in personal growth. And even just now, like you have many other times, you have comforted me. I believe the ability to instill, pride, hope, care, understanding, acceptance, growth, and comfort, in a person, is surely a trait that a maternal figure would possess."
"So you're saying I've been the mother all along?" she asked again.
"In a way, yes," Sheldon stated, "And if it is any consolation to you, out of all of the females in our friend group, I have always thought you to be the best suited for motherhood."
"Thank you, Sheldon," Bernadette smiled, embracing him in a tight hug.
"Don't thank me," Sheldon said uncomfortably, "Thank fact. Now why don't you stop hugging me and we can continue to watch our friends fumble on the ice."
"Sounds good," she sighed.
The two enjoyed watching the continued failures unfold. Only a half hour later the adults were exhausted and practically had to drag the little ones off the ice. They then loaded the rental car and drove up a path through the forest, to a beautifully decorated house. Later in the evening, Penny ordered a vast amount of Thai Food. After all bellies were full, the parents allowed their children to stay up and watch movies, their little minds aflutter with the ideas of Santa Claus. As the night dragged on they were put to bed as Amy and Howard finished the dishes. After drying the last one, he went on a search for his wife, he couldn't let his secret go on any longer.
Howard found her bundled up on the porch swing, watching the snow fall lazily to the ground. Occasionally little flakes would be swept up by the wind and stick in her hair like a crown. Bernadette looked radiant. Howard threw on a coat and scarf and joined her, pulling his best friend into his embrace.
"Hi Little Momma," Howard kissed her forehead.
"Hi Rocket Man," Bernadette replied as she cozied herself into his chest. Howard couldn't help but shudder at his favorite nickname, "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," he sighed, he couldn't tell her, not on Christmas, "just cold I guess."
"Oh, ok. The snow looks so beautiful," she mused, "I could do this every year. For the first time since I was a kid I can actually feel the magic of Christmas! Just imagine, next year, at this very time our baby will be celebrating his or her first Chrismukkah!"
"It's first what?" Howard laughed.
"Chrismukkah! Christmas and Hanukkah. Can't you just see it Howie! Our little baby opening presents, learning to spin a dreidel, eating challah bread with your mother as my father slips a Santa cookie in the other hand! We'll watch as you light the menorah…" Howard cut his wife off
"Then we'll make a human ladder so our little angel can place the angel on top of the tree." He laughed again, as Bernadette bit her lip, "What?"
"What time is it?" Bernadette smiled.
"It's a little passed midnight, why?" he checked his watch.
Bernadette pulled up a small blue and white package from beside her and placed it in Howard's hands. "Merry Chrismukkah, Howard! It's not your actual gift, just a little something I thought you needed."
Howard unwrapped the paper and opened the box to reveal a shiny silver plated Star of David placed on an upside down cone. "What is it?" he asked trying not to sound rude.
"It's a Christmas tree topper," she smiled triumphantly, "So next year, when we have our own tree, our little baby can place it on top! I know a lot of people who put stars on their tree, so I figured why can't are star be a Star of David."
"You really are the best, you know that right!" Howard kissed his wife, "It's probably the most thoughtful gift a Jew has ever been given for Christmas!"
The two began to laugh, but then Bernadette stopped. She placed Howard's hand on her tummy.
"I think this one approves of the gift too!" Howard nodded with more laughter.
A smile played on his wife's face. This was the first time Bernadette laughed without fear of the future, and simply enjoyed the moment. However, behind Howard's clever grin and contagious laughter, there was a feeling of uncertainty, the future is what he currently feared most of all.
A/N: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Merry Newtonmas, and Happy Saturnalia and if you don't celebrate holidays…Happy Happy! Thank You all so much for reading, this is my fluffy Holiday gift to you! Please remember the poll still open, and will be until right before the baby is born, so vote, vote people vote! I love you all!