(7,163 words) I'm sorry for no updates, but well maybe considering that this is the longest chapter yet might semi make up for it. My obsessive need to explain means I need to give you an explanation for why the wait has been longer than usual. First I skipped this when I got up to it in my loop so I could finish my other story because I was up to the last chapter for it, then I took a break from fanfiction which in the end actually only lasted two and a half days (yes I failed at having a break) Then I started rewriting another story because it is my favourite out of all of them but the starting sucked so I knew no one would give it a chance. I made myself write the first five chapters, sadly no one is reading it and I'm all depressed about it, so if any one wants to be nice because it certainly has it's brilliant moments it is called Wings of Regret. I know most of you aren't going to bother reading it, it is a dark story any one that does decide to read it, just a warning.
After I finished up with that I got right ahead to writing this because despite it not being next in the loop it was the longest since it had been updated. First day I couldn't get myself to write so I only wrote three pages, same for the next day, but then I got stuck into this and finished it. While all that I went to the Easter show and had lunch with my uncle who hasn't seen me since I was eleven. So that was something that took me away from writing. Then I was going to get my beta reader to edit but I got bored waiting and made my sister do it and went over it myself so as to double check. So apologies for any mistakes.
Dance against the wind
Chapter 5: Breaking apart
Claire sat at the dinning table. The party had come and gone, it had been the topic of the conversation that her mother and Serah were having; it may have drifted to others things but she kept her mind far from it. Such conversations like the one the other two woman were having weren't one that could hold her interest and were in the most simplest of terms ones that bored her greatly. She was actually more interested in what her father and his colleagues talked about, business was a more entertaining topic than parties and such gatherings. The men that visited from time to time, either for leisure reasons or to talk business were quite surprised by what knowledge she did have. Many times her father had had a talk to her about his work and she had soaked up the information like a sponge. The men like many did say she was certainly different, but these few men said so not for her being so unlady like and harsh, but that she understood what was not something usually well known by woman at all, and so well to add to that.
Claire looked up from her half eaten breakfast to her mother and little sister, they had long since finished their meals and had it so been taken away by a servant, so now they were left with nothing but to talk. Their constant chatter was an annoyance, and she was made to live with this daily; and oh that grin her father gave her every morning didn't help, it made her think he found her suffering funny. How no one but him had noticed how her family's chatter annoyed her so was a mystery, she did nothing to hide it.
She picked up snippets every now and then but from forcing herself to be mute from it it sounded like nothing more like two birds squabbling to each other. That made sense when it came to her mother but the fact that her dear little sister's voice successfully mixed into it was something to confuse her.
A thought plopped into her head then, one that made her stomach plummet. She remembered how it was nearing Serah's sixteenth birthday. The most horrid thing about that was, that was the legal age to get married. She knew how her sister had feelings for that idiot tank Snow, she wouldn't wait much when she got of that age before she would decide to marry him. What did Serah see in him? He was an arrogant moron! Sure he was one of the very few men that realised that woman were people not objects she gave him that, but that wasn't her problem, her problem was just simply him. And the fact that her parents were fine with it all just irritated her more.
"Are you okay young miss?" A gentle voice asked from besides her, she turned her head and faced the small woman who'd spoken, Butterfly was looking at her with a questioning expression.
"Yes, I'm fine." She said as polite as she could muster.
The young woman cracked a smile, not a happy one but one for the sake of looking nice.
"That's good, I was just wondering because you weren't eating your food."
"I'm fine," The older one said stopping her mid sentence by shaking her head, "I'm just not very hungry."
"Oh is that so? Well I can clean this up for you?"
"Yes that'd be fine." She answered. Claire stayed silent as Butterfly picked up the plate and cleaned the area around it. She didn't get up herself before the girl had left, she gave a nod in her mother's direction before leaving the room. She knew she was meant to ask for permission to be excused but she had long dropped that habit, it was a rarity when she did do it. And the few times she did was when her father was there, and at the moment that man was not even in the room.
She found him in his office, looking through a bunch of papers on his desk. He looked ever so slightly flustered at the moment. She didn't want to surprise him by rudely walking in considering she may not be allowed right now, so she knocked on the door gently. He looked up after a second to see her curious face leaning in.
"Ah, Light." He said quickly before returning to what he was doing.
She had taken it that he may be busy at the moment but he had no problem with her presence, otherwise he would have shooed her off then and there.
"What are you searching for?" She eyed the cluttered desk.
"A contract to be honest. I've been given the rights to a small company in Palumpolum. I decided now was the best time to sign it considering.." He stopped himself right there, but his daughter wasn't going to let him do so,
"Considering..?" She questioned.
He looked at her unsteadily for a minute,
"I can tell you later darling, it's important so I want everyone else to hear it. At dinner I promise." He nodded and went back to searching, doing his best to hold up his end of the conversation.
"So did you enjoy the party?" He asked with a hint of a laugh.
He missed his daughter rolling her eyes, but certainly heard her laugh.
"I thought that would already be obvious."
He chuckled as he lifted up a pile of sheets, "I know, I know. But was there anything different at all?"
Claire sat down on a chair near his desk before making any kind of a reply,
"If you counted that boy I was talking to." She shrugged.
Her father stopped what he was doing, "Boy?"
She rolled her eyes again, "Don't get your hopes up. He was the Estheim's kid, isn't he like ten or something?"
"Eleven I think it was if you're being exact. Shame there is such an age difference, could have had something there." He laughed picking up a piece of paper which she predicted was what he was looking for.
"Can't expect any miracles with me father." She smiled.
He shook his head and cleared his table for the space he needed.
"I know. But keep in mind that if you don't attempt to look your mother will do it for you. She's not going to stand having a daughter live without ever having a man in her life." He informed her sternly. His voice had gone deathly serious, his gaze looking down at her.
"I realised that long ago. But can't she give up? Why does the idea of me not having a husband have to be impossible to her?"
"The idea of dying alone sounds sad to anyone Light, try to understand your mother's point of view." He paused and studied her expression. knowing well enough what she was thinking right this second.
"You don't want her picking one out for you. Such things never end well, I'm only looking out for you here but trust me on it." He finished and returned his focus to the contract he was completing.
Claire remained there in silence, sound only coming from the scribbling of his pen and their steady breathing.
"Father?" He paused and looked up, "You know that that kid is the only male in my memory that I have talked to out of my own free will that wasn't you or a slave. I don't doubt that mother is going to resort to finding a husband for me herself, because I know that I won't take one step to help."
Silence over took them for a second more, "I've always known that Light."
"I was hoping that having one married would make her want for me to be lessen, but I was wrong. I know that's not going to happen, instead she'll just be angry having the younger married and the older single, it will only speed it up." Her hands clung to the sides of the chair, this almost agitated her the way her mother acted.
"She's a predictable woman sometimes, I believe that will be the way she acts after Serah gets married." He sighed outwardly, "That won't be far off now, she's almost sixteen after all."
Claire watched the man from in front of his desk. She wondered how it felt having the fact that his children truly weren't children anymore running through his head was like.
"I can even bet that she'll throw a nice big party for her on the day too, shame she can't go all out like the last one. We need to put a cap on spending somewhere." He shrugged, dotting down words on the paper from which Claire could not make out.
"Mother's parties are stupid and useless." She spat.
Her father looked up at her again, "They are a celebration where you can socialise with friends, for her they have a use. I'm sorry if they hold none for you."
"I just see it as idiotic, she finds the littlest of reasons and throws a party over it."
"I don't see the last one as a little reason, in no way was it one." He cut in.
Something about this all just made Claire want to roll her eyes, but she resisted for the sake of it all. Her father was right about one thing, the last party had not been for a small reason. Her father owned two gold mines on the outskirts of Bodhum, one of which had struck the motherload. So it goes without saying that her mother got over excited and that was the whole reason behind her last party. She didn't see the reason as stupid, just simply the party and that was all.
"I'm going to go now." She spoke up, she wasn't in the mood to continue the conversation.
"That's fine, I've only got a little more to do here, I might as well finish it as fast as I can. And I didn't forget about the thing I almost said before, don't worry, I'll talk about it over dinner."
"That's fine," She said as she stood up. She gave her father a small wave and exited his office.
As Claire found boredom over taking her she soon ended up at her usual place, the stone bench beneath the trees. She could see a number of slaves working in the fields, and had a partly obscured view of the ones near the stables. They were nicer people than her mother for sure, they worked so hard even when they were given nothing but a semi comfortable bed and less than decent food. That woman could never live like that, for her extravagance was a need to live. It was sickening some people, how they could see themselves as so much better than the people with dark skin just because they were different to them in appearance, saying it out loud just pointed out the stupidity. The people that valued themselves as better couldn't lift a finger to help themselves, and the ones supposedly worse could do so much more than they ever could.
She sighed outwardly and laid down on the bench, she had ranted about it to that boy on the night of the party. She was surprised how he had just sat there and listened, most would find fault in almost everything she said and complain at some point, but if anything he had agreed with her. A part of her wished he was older, she knew she couldn't like him in that way even if he was older, but there was a strange similarity about them and if she had the choice he was the better one for that fact only. At least it would get her mother off her back, but he came off as so weak it was an annoyance. Before she had ran into him at the current place she sat at he had clung to his mother the entire time, she knew he was young but even that was bordering on the ridiculous. Still, he had been better company than what the many others at that party would have been like.
The wind blew softy past her as one thought left and a new one replaced it. It was so subtle and serene here, it was hard not to be tempted by the idea of sleeping. She fought against it of course, to fall asleep here was not a good idea, her back was to used to the comforts of her expensive bed and so the stone beneath her would cause her to wake up with horrible aches. Still she gave herself the comforts of at least shutting her lids, but did not let the shadows and dreams take her away. Eventually her mind got stuck on the conversation with that boy again, and she failed at any and all attempts of getting it out.
Her mind was back at that night he had ran into the little boy, when she had found him sitting on the dirty stone bench.
"Aren't you Nora's son?" She asked, even if she had no need to ask that question as she already knew it.
He raised his head noticing her for the first time,
"Um, yeah...How long have you been there?" He sounded like he was about to panic. Couldn't blame the kid if he was scared of her, so was everyone else.
"Not long, I just got here." She explained. "How long have you been here?" She asked the same question.
"I don't know, Since dad came back to talk to us. I left cause I didn't want to talk to him."
That look of anger she'd spotted before came back to his eyes for a second.
"Do you hate your father?" She questioned, feeling curious.
"What, why do you think that?" He sounded like he was lying as he said that. Trying to not have to answer what she'd asked.
Claire took some steps closer, and took a seat next to him on the bench. Partly because she needed to sit down, partly so she could get out of the rain, under this tree it was so thick leaved that not much rain could get through. She was getting sick of her hair clinging to her like it was. He eyed her as she did it, but then looked away, he appeared to be scared at the moment. Maybe he was scared of her, but she wouldn't know unless he admitted to that.
"You hate your mother don't you? The way you were looking at her was so...mean." He said instead of answering her properly.
"No different from the look you gave your father." She was right, she got him there.
"You're strange." He said still dodging answering what she'd asked.
"I could say the exact same to you."
A silence passed, but was quickly interrupted when he said,
"I have a name you know."
She looked down, remember that she had indeed simply called him 'Nora's son' before.
"Hope, wasn't it." She lifted her hand to catch a falling leaf, he watched her do it curiously before making any reply.
"Yes, what's yours?" He tried sounding polite to her. Of course she mentally sniggered, because she is a lady no doubt.
"Claire, and stop speaking like that."
"But..."
"No buts, it's annoying." He flinched at the sound of her voice and lowered his head. Yep he was scared of her, but she wasn't sure whether she should care. It was only a kid they were talking about here
"Most girls wouldn't say that."
"But I'm not 'most girl's now am I?" She questioned in a growl. Out of the corner of her eye she could swear he had flinched again.
"You know your name is unfitting." He spoke up after becoming silent for a few minutes.
Claire hid her expression so he didn't see that she was peeved by the broken stillness. "This from a boy with a girl's name."
"Hey that's not my.." He started but she stopped him.
"You can call me Lightning then."
He stared blankly, "Light..ning?" Obviously taken aback by the suddenness of what she said and for sincerely the name she had chosen.
"It fits better doesn't it?" She grinned,
"The way you're talking is making me think this isn't the first time you've asked someone to call you this." He started mumbling. She took a guess that he was more saying it to himself than to her, but she gave it an answer none the less.
"Because it isn't, I created it years ago but clearly no one would dare call the eldest daughter of one of Pulse's richest men by such a name. It's just preposterous right?" She tilted her head towards him, waiting for a response.
"I guess that all makes sense, but..." He eyed her with a near serious expression. "Why the name 'Lightning'?"
"Well," she sighed as she straightened out her legs. "Because I feel like I've got something in common with it. I can't help anybody with anything, I'm a pampered little rich girl in all honesty and I don't even have talents in what little talents such woman do have. And what I do I know because I'm a woman that is never going to help me in life. If I was to ever try and fix a problem, undoubtedly I will make it worse. Lightning can't protect, it can only destroy. I just guess I'm the same way." She shrugged at the end, it seemed to him she had thought about this many times before, it wasn't much to her anymore.
"You really don't think you could be helpful to anyone?"
"I cause more trouble than help people fix such things. Trust me I just can't. My parents even stick people to me to make sure I'm not getting into some kind of mess. Currently the one with that job is a sixteen year old named Butterfly-"
"Butterfly?" He interjected with a question.
"No weirder than Lightning, but than again hers is her real name. I guess it makes for a strange one." She laughed lightly.
She talked on and on, about her mother always finding some reason to yell at her, how even the slaves would look down on her. She even mentioned how she had memorised what before mentioned slave's jobs was on what days so she could purposely elude her. She said how at parties when she walked past she overheard almost everyone saying some kind of spiteful thing about her, and how it was never true. How her life had gotten her into such a bad mood when her sister tried to help it always ended in the poor girl being sent from the room in tears, even if she had only tried to be good.
She didn't know how long she talked for, but she found she couldn't stop. So on and on she went with the occasional question or comment from Hope, but otherwise he was silent. And before she knew she had just poured her heart out to a total stranger, but he didn't look down on her like other people would, she had been so scared that was what would happen in the end. It was at that point that he could quite possibly not do a thing that could confuse her more.
In the silence that followed his gaze lingered over to the direction of the house, and for the first time in a long time did he take into consideration where he was. He jumped off the seat and bowed his head at the startled woman in front of him.
"I'm sorry...Lightning, but I think my mother's probably worried sick by now, I should get back."
She smiled at the direction the kid had taken. As strange as she had found it she had gotten herself lost in her own little world then, with someone she barely new no less. Time and place hadn't mattered at all, she hadn't had a time like it since Serah once came here with her. But that had all stopped before she had reached the age of ten, it had been sorely missed.
Claire lifted herself from the bench, she decided it would be best to return around now. Lord oh lord her mother was going to go ballistic when she saw her.
Serah's sixteenth birthday was coming up fast, their mother made preparations for a new party and got the slaves right into action. Because of the previous one they had a tighter cap on money and she did not have the choice to make it beyond amazing like the last one had been. It was Serah herself who made her mother not go nuts when it came to the guests lists, she would prefer it to be people she knew who were invited to the party. Sadly for her sister this was still a staggering amount of people, she was a popular little lady.
At least the younger one of those two knew one when to stop before things went overboard. She may be a pampered rich girl but she couldn't even compare to her mother, that woman was just too much.
She was like a more subtle version of her, Claire guessed just slightly she had been influenced by her big sister. If she hadn't she would be a mirror of her mother, but she clearly wasn't. Serah would never do what a man told her to do because she thought she had to, much unlike their mother, she would only do it if she wanted to. Bad thing was her and that oaf Snow could agree on a lot, she loved him too much for her own good.
That question of what did she see in him was a constant thought for the eldest sister, Serah was a smart girl, especially when it came to academics. All the tutors she had had all been amazed to see such brightness in a girl, one or two had even decided to teach her some subjects reserved for boys because they had thought girl's weren't smart enough to understand, but she had surpassed most of their male students on said subjects on occasions. She was great when it came to advice as well, she always knew what to say, sometimes her sister wished she had just taken it instead of being stubborn and doing the opposite. Maybe some things would be better if she had done that. So why was someone who was so smart ready to give up their life so early on for a total and utter moron?
It didn't make any sense what so ever, and all it did was make her angry, her sister deserved better than a loser like that. Anyone deserved better than him. She was beginning to fill sick thinking about it she was so pissed over it. The thought about her sister nearing the legal age to actually get married wasn't helping her at all, she knew they wouldn't wait long, heck it wouldn't surprise her if they chose to get engaged the second they were able to.
This was all giving Claire a headache worrying over it, but she knew her mind wouldn't let the matter rest. She was far too gone into a sour mood to get out now.
The inevitable party came quicker, much quicker than Claire would have ever wanted. It didn't look as lavish as the last one had been but considering her mother had overlooked the preparations it was anything but plain. Tables decorated in pale pink and sapphire blue were absolutely covered in plates and plates of expensive food. Ribbons of said colours decorated around the whole of the ball room. Every light was on showing its full glory. It was hard believing this was not the most her mother could do, and far from it at that.
When guests began arriving, she did her usual of hiding in the corner. As always she was not in the mood to converse with any one of them. And currently all she felt like doing to Snow was giving him a nice little punch in the face, that feeling had not left. She spotted who she recognised as Serah's friends, as odd as it was not many actually happened to be girls, most were indeed boys. She wasn't very boyish but she got along with them better because as her older sister had figured out most girls were too jealous of her to be nice to her. Stupid idiots.
When all had arrived, they took seats at the table and had a feast of a dinner. Everyone chattered away to each other joyfully. Claire may have well been the only one that had stayed silent through it all. She sat between her father and Serah herself, to her father's side was her mother and to Serah's it was Snow. Who nearby she had many friends all sitting quite close. Her sister at some point stopped attempting to hide her annoyance at Serah and Snow's close proximately. Usually at parties the relatives would sit together, but seeing as they all had a serious lack of them, Serah was able to have her friends so close. Claire barely ate one bit of the food that laid out in front of her, all what she was feeling had made her feel less than hungry. She honestly felt like if she took another bite she would start to feel sick.
After the dinner, slaves had rushed about cleaning off the tables and moving them across to the wall. She spotted her mother giving a quick scolding to Butterfly, the poor girl had fallen over flat onto her stomach while helping some others push the table. She looked rightly scared by the older woman, the observer didn't blame her. The young girl was always getting yelled at for the smallest mistakes, she had grown up with it, and it had resulted with her being easy to scare. When each table had been moved, more came out with platters of food and placed them there in case of any still possibly being hungry. They left as fast as they could and let the activities of the guests resume.
Claire took a seat in a chair, most people were dancing in the middle or nibbling at the morsels on the platters; well she did neither. She could see her parents dancing on the far side of the room, she had to look for awhile before she got a clear view of where her sister had ended up at. She was talking with a group of friends near the back. Noel was currently shoving food in his mouth and she guessed from what it looked like one or two of the others were making a joke about it. Snow and Serah were standing very close to each other and she could swear they were holding hands.
'i wonder if it's possible to feel deathstares from the other side of the room?' She thought as her glare deepened as she did see that he did indeed have his hand wrapped around hers. She promised herself that she had to be the death of this guy. There could be no other satisfying ways for him to die unless it was by her hands, how dare this guy be with her precious little sister!
A number of girls when they walked past them gave the boys around her coy smiles. She was bored enough to count who got the most, as even from here it was clear that they were being quite honest in who they liked without having to open their mouths. Noel got the most by far, she could swear some girls kept walking back so they could be near him, however short that time did happen to be. Snow actually happened to get the least. She did admit to herself, that sadly it was not because he was a stupid idiotic oaf, but because someone had already beaten them to him. She wished one of those dumb girls had beaten Serah, then she could be with someone better than the blonde moron and those stupid girls could be with some one that also had an IQ the same number as their shoe size.
Hours went by, but Claire didn't move from her spot. This was always how it was, she couldn't socialise even if she wanted too; not when she was surrounded by a horde of people that despised her or even in some cases were scared of her. By now most everyone had spent some of the time dancing, she wouldn't be surprised if she was the only one who hadn't. Serah and Snow were somewhere near the middle dancing together. If he were closer she would throw something at him and hope to the goddess that she wouldn't miss and hit her sister.
"...Young miss?" A voice snapped herself from her thoughts. She let her mind return to reality and looked up at who had asked.
It was one of her father's slaves, a petite middle aged woman with her hair tied up in two pony tails to the back of her head. The style reminded her of a girl she had seen at a party once.
"Oh, Nancy..." She brushed a stray lock from her eyes and the elder woman gave her an apologetic smile.
"Sorry if I'm disturbing you, but would you mind a drink?" She asked in her deep voice.
"Doesn't look like I'm doing anything does it?" She let out a small smile. "A drink's fine."
Nancy smiled back and handed her a small glass. The other didn't care what it was filled with, all she knew was that she was parched and it was a distraction from other things. Before she walked away the woman remembered to mention,
"You shouldn't be calling me by name near this crowd Young miss. They'll think you're crazy."
Claire took a sip of her drink. "Everyone has a name. And I have nothing to worry about, not when they already think I'm some freak of a woman."
Nancy made no reply, she had already walked off.
Time still felt like it was flying by, and still she stayed in that same chair, doing not much else but staring and slowly but surely draining her glass of its contents. Many of the men by now were somewhere else, most probably in the library like they usually were. No woman went near any of the areas when they were having their man talks. Most of the time they consisted of business related topics, they didn't expect females to understand one word of it all. Fun part about that was she had a clear remembrance of a time when she was seven when she had been sticking to her father during a party, and he had ended up in one of the before mentioned talks. It had been a complicated chat about financial problems, most of which was about businesses they had invested in but weren't making enough money to get off the ground and flourish. She couldn't remember the full thing but she remembered how she had kept up with it entirely and at one point had gone off at one of the men for making such a foolish investment in the first place.
Oh how men doubted woman, the only reason for them being smarter was for the fact they were allowed better education. Serah was plenty smarter than some men she knew. And Claire herself had a better knowledge of business than a good handful of men did.
Speaking of Serah, where was she? She took a look of the room but did not see her anywhere. Of course then she realised that she may have gone into the other room. Plenty were currently in their and plenty were leaving already so she may have wanted to wish them good bye. After so long Claire finally got out of her seat and did something. She got to the large double doors of the ballroom when she sighted her. Serah was still with Snow, moving closer to the middle of the room. She held a quizzical expression, which made her sister think that Snow was saying such stupid things that he had rendered it impossible for even a smart person to understand. She wasn't far off in truth, he was actually just saying some weird things that were supposed to make no sense on purpose.
Slowly they were making their way to the middle of the room. She couldn't hear a word they were saying but she could see Snow was yet to shut up from all his mouths movements. Serah's expression remained quizzical and curious, she was silent as Snow went on and on. He was gently holding her hand in his, it only annoyed her older sister more as she saw him with her. She could tell more people were beginning to look in their general direction, quieting down so they could hear what was going on. Now that everyone wasn't so chatty near her she made out a word or two from the man. But it was far from enough to hear him properly. Oh Snow and his speeches, a part of her was glad she couldn't hear it, but her curiosity was peaking and now it was everyone else talking that annoyed her. But everyone was following suit and looking in the couple's direction. Silence was beginning to take over slowly, and for once she did make out an entire sentence. But for her, it was probably the worse thing she could have heard.
Snow took Serah's free hand into his other and had smiled so warmly at her, she returned it with a faint blush to her cheeks.
"Serah, will you marry me?"
The petite girl's eyes looked like they were about to jump out of her head at the words, she was at a lost for words, her heart must have been beating so fast in that second. She responded by beaming at him and pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, no words needed to be said for him to know the answer.
Claire did not see this, for she had already left the room; she had run out the second she had heard the words leave his mouth.
She ran down an empty hallway and found an unused room, forcing the door open she stormed inside and sat on a dusty couch which she noticed looked far less dusty than the rest of the room. But she had no need to question this right at the moment, her mind was on far more important matters. Letting her head fall into her hands, she let out anguished tears.
She had no idea how long she was in there, for all it was worth she didn't care less. It didn't matter whether anyone had even noticed she was gone, or cared to go look. She wanted to be alone more than ever, she needed to let it all out in her own company. Her eyes burned and her head was beginning to hurt from crying so much, she could feel a dull ache in her chest and was getting more tired by the second. But she needed this moment, far more than she'd let out. It wasn't what she had just heard that had made her do this, it was everything, she had had enough. Her life was horrible, hell she was pampered and could have any material good she wanted; but that wasn't what she wanted, not even close. Everyone hated her, people were scared of her. The only one that wanted to help she had sent away by her many times for trying to do what she didn't want.
Claire heard the door open slowly, she raised her gaze to meet the intruder of her break down, to be met with the one face she never wanted to see again.
"Out!" She yelled at the blonde, partly hiding her face in her hands.
"Hey, you don't have to be like that." Snow said in hopes of her calming down, but without saying it was a failure of an attempt.
"Just get out okay!" She screeched and stood up, glaring daggers at him.
He blinked fast when he saw her reddened eyes and tear stained face. He hadn't noticed that when he came in, she must have been crying for a long time.
"Look I'm sorry if I upset you, I understand that.."
"What do you understand!" She cut him off screaming at the top of her lungs, "You are not the one living a life you don't want! Because your life is some freaking fairy tale where Serah is your princess, how are you supposed to understand anything about what I am going through!" Her hands scrunched up in front of her chest, it was beating so fast it was hurting her.
"Look Claire, I want to help you." He begged for he to see his point of view.
"Oh yeah right, no one want's to help a stupid bitch like me. Now leave me alone before I break that face of yours!" She was so pissed all she saw was red.
"I do want to help.."
"I thought I already said to leave me alone!" She stepped closer,
"Claire!"
But that was enough for her, she bawled up her hand and punched him right in his face, he fell off his feet and to the ground, landing with a loud thud. He breathed in sharply and felt his sore cheek. All she did was watch him with flaming eyes.
"Claire!" Another voice broke her out of her rage, and like that her expression changed to one of a scared child as she saw her angry father standing in the doorway.
The man took a step inside, and lowered his gaze from her to Snow,
"Mister Villiers, I recommend you to return to my other daughter, you have plenty of enough reason too after all. You will get nothing more than what you already have if you continue this conversation. Now leave." He commanded sternly.
Snow slowly rose up, still watching him, he knew it was not he who he was angry with but his stare was very unnerving.
When they were alone he put his gaze back on his daughter's tear stained face.
"Claire..." His expression softened and he pulled her into a hug. He felt her hands grab onto the fabric of his shirt as she continued to cry. She was so much like a lost child at the moment, and he knew all too well why. He could feel his shirt becoming soaked with her tears, it was cold but he let her continue for as long as she needed it.
"Daddy..." She mumbled through the tears, "Yes" he replied pulling away enough so he could see her face. He didn't know if he should be surprised at her calling him what she hadn't since she was a child.
"Remember how you mentioned you had something to say and..."
"And that I didn't say it? I know. I'm sorry but I keep putting it off."
"Why?" She dug her face into his chest again and let her tears fall off her cheeks.
"Because I'm scared to say the truth."
"Father's aren't meant to be scared of anything." She mumbled. He put on a sad smile at her childish comment.
"We are all human Claire, we all have our fears." He stated. "But I'm guessing you want me to tell you what it was."
There was a momentary silence between the two of them before she spoke up, "Yes."
He breathed in deeply before saying anything, "The Pusian army has been losing men recently, and they are in an urgent need for new recruits."
She moved her head away from him, she knew full well where he was going with this, but a voice screamed at the back of her head that it wasn't true.
"I'm one of the 'recruits' they are sending out."
She stared at him with an face so pained it was like she had been stabbed.
It was all breaking apart.
Ooh hope you all enjoyed (Have any one of you noticed that FFXIII fanfiction writers subconsciously use the word hope more than others?)
I finished this chapter half an hour before it was exactly 100 years since Titanic sunk. I feel some how epic about that, explanation is that I like timing things on certain dates, I had a similar feeling when I published a chap on Easter and drew a really awesome picture which is currently on my wall on the 29 of Feb.
And when it was exactly one hundred since its sinking I was in bed reading a fanfiction, so I was like,
Me: Creepy a 100 years ago thousands of people were drowning and dying and here I am reading a fanfic about a pregnant Lightning.
It was a weird feeling.
The number of reviews is decreasing per chapter, It's making my paranoia go crazy. I got eight for the first chapter so it would be nice if I could get a similar number some time soon, it will make my paranoia shut up because it's proof that at least something that I do is not a waste of time.
Thanks to all who have reviewed this story so far, words cannot describe how happy I am about it,
Oh and before I forget, if there is any Hope/Light fans reading this, please make your existence known. I feel like i'm going to be mauled to death by FLight fans and it is not a nice thought
Arigatou gozaimasu for reading
Jya ne,
~Serah Villiers Valentine