Thorin gave Bilbo a once over before turning to Gandalf.
"So is this our burglar?" he asked in a deep voice.
"Excuse me, burglar? I assure you sir I am as honest as the next man in this port." Bilbo huffed indignantly, causing an uproar of laughter from the pirates. The little cobbler's ears went bright red, as he shouted over the noise: "WILL SOMEONE SAY WHY YOU'RE HERE?" before adding "Sorry."
"No need to apologise, ." said Fili, clapping him on the shoulder, "it's only natural that you're curious."
"Let me explain, my friends, this requires a –how shall I put it- lighter touch" intervened Gandalf.
"Twenty years ago, my grandfather, Thror, was governor on the lonely island of Erebor. His wealth was plenty, his rule respected." Thorin began "Then came the pirate Smaug. His greed was enormous, and seeing the treasure in Erebor, he desired it for his own. He gathered a fleet of every kind of scum imaginable in the Middle Isles, and using his own ship, the Dragon, the besieged the island. For days, the citizens of Erebor fought back the wrath of the flames and cannonfire."
"A month after the beginning of the siege, Governor Thror fell. The city was soon overrun. We lost our home that day. We lost family, and everything we held dear in this world."
"But not all was lost." Ori jumped in. "I may not remember anything of our long lost home, but I know this. We will get it back. Gandalf claims he has found a way."
Gandalf nodded solemnly, producing a key from his pocket. It was a big iron key, skillfully crafted, looking as if it belonged in the keyhole of some sturdy door. Yet here it was, in the palm of a shaggy old man, in a port miles away from its significant other. Thorin studied it carefully.
"Take it," said the old man, "after all, it is rightfully yours."
"How did you come across this?" Thorin marveled, picking up the key slowly as if to make sure it was real.
"Your father gave it to me for safekeeping before attempting to reclaim your island back, fifteen years ago."
"So, there's another way in?" Kili asked, now looking at the key himself.
"A secret entrance known only to a few. And that, my dear Bilbo, is where you come in."
"Me? What can a lowly cobbler do against an armada?"
"They know all these men around you. But a lowly cobbler as you say can go amongst them undetected."
"But I've never stolen anything in my life!"
"That can change" Nori said in such a matter-of-fact tone that it scared Bilbo.
"I-I I'll need to think this over. I-I'm going to go eat-I mean sleep- I mean" and with that his eyes rolled back in his head, and Bilbo Baggins collapsed on the floor.
He awoke, in his bed, not knowing what time it was, his only signs of knowing the dark starless sky and the sound of the pirates singing –once again- in his living room.
"-The winds were moaning in the night,
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The trees like torches blazed with light"
In that moment, he felt like a stranger to his own home, intruding on something not many had heard, as the men of Erebor sang of their long lost home.
Morning light flickered through the window shutters, awaking the sleepy cobbler once again. He got up, expecting the previous evening to be just a bizarre dream. His walk downstairs changed his mind on that.
On the table sat a long note, written carefully in big swirly letters –not what you would expect from pirates- apologizing very politely for any inconveniences the company might have caused, and stating that if he did indeed wish to join them, their ship was stationed outside Brandywire cove, and they would depart at midday.
A sudden rush overtook the small man, as he furiously stuffed a bag with clothes and provisions, before he slammed the green door of Bag End behind him and rushed through the fields.
"Mr. Baggins, where are you headed in such a hurry?" called out one of the local farmers.
"No time, Proudfoot, I cannot be late."
"For what?"
"IM GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!" Bilbo shouted in the most childish tone, before jumping over a low fence onto the craggy path beyond.
He had forgotten how fast his short legs could carry him, reaching the safe cove in a matter of fifteen minutes, only to find that his companions were already rowing offshore.
Ignoring his knowledge of his own physical abilities, he ran into the surf after them, shouting as he went, until a wave over took him pulling him under.
Our friendly burglar couldn't swim.
And he's off. I said I will update this quickly and I am keeping true to my word