Sorry, I couldn't update for a while. These days, I look back to Grey's Anatomy season 5 to remember how Owen and Cristina faced his PTSD problem. Through watching the episodes, I realize that Cristina might be type of a person who gets to be encouraging when she sees the weakness of someone, although she is said to be a cold person. Especially, when Cristina found out that Izzie got a disease or Owen suffering from PTSD, she was quite dedicated to them. Usually she seemes to be cold, but also has a warm side which is not often revealed. That's one of the reason why her personarity is attractive, I guess. Anyway, I hope you to keep reading, enjoy!

Cristina and Owen didn't talk except when it was required for the work. However, Cristina kept her eyes on him as much as possible, hoping panic attack wouldn't happen again, especially during surgery. Fortunately, it seemed he was doing fine.

Cristina regretted a little what she said to him. Every night she felt lonely in bed, all by herself. She missed his voice, his lips‥‥in short, total his presence. What he had done to her in bed was terrible for sure, but she also remembered that he was trying to treat her nicely, yes, prom was unforgettable. She wondered what would have happened if she accepted the kiss from the later moment he had had a panic attack.

He must have an issue, she thought. She couldn't stop thinking about him, but she was not sure if she wanted to be his girlfriend. She assumed it would end up becoming miserable like the girls he tried to break up with. He has something that captivates women's heart, she thought. Therefore, leaving from him must be difficult for any woman whom loved by him, even once.

Cristina also cared about his fiancee. Cristina didn't want him to hurt anybody anymore just like he had done to Cristina or his ex-girlfriend of high school days. Cristina noticed herself aspiring to know more about him. On the contrary, she was also afraid of getting being hurt again.

It was undecided for her whether to get closer him or not. If she had missed this opportunity, he would have gone possibly for another twenty years, she shivered. She should talk to him, she thought. But about what？ Maybe, start from small talks？ What was more, she felt both of them need to release themselves from their afterimage. They should see each other here and now, she thought that was unavoidable to go forward.

One day after surgery, she found Owen walking on hallway. "Hi." She talked to him from his behind. He stopped and turned. His blue eyes were irresistible, have been irresistible, all the time, she thought.

""Um‥‥" There was an awkward interval. "How have you been？I mean don't you have panic attack lately？" "You care about me？" He looked surprised. "Well, kind of‥‥panic attack, your fiancee‥‥" She kept talking, her tense made herself feel her heart beating. "Come on, those topics are very private." He dragged her into an on-call room.

"I haven't had a panic attack since them." He sat on bed and answered her question. "But I can't sleep‥‥I can't because of a nightmare." He sighed. "Everyday, I saw people die‥.my friends, my colleagues‥.the important people to me." He looked his hand. "There were so many people that I couldn't save‥‥so many times I felt I was ineffective‥‥"

She was facing and listening to him, then, slowly getting closer to him. "It's not your fault." She was trying to comfort him, but he simpered ironically. "You sound like my ex-fiancee." "Right, how is she now？Do you see her？" "No, we are over‥‥she was here in this hospital for a while because his father needed surgery, and‥‥it is over, completely."

"How can you that？" She was getting emotional. "She still has a feeling for you, you know that." That made his eyes round. "What？ Why do you want me to be with her？" "No, what I am saying is, you damp girls and that's it. They can't get over that easily, because it is hardly forgetting you, Owen."

He stood up and got closer as well as she did, close enough to be teachable to her. She wanted to step back, but he didn't let her. "Continue." "Well, once you decide it's done, you never looked back nor cared about them anymore, but that is giving them a hard time, because usually they still like you‥‥" Her voice was getting thin because he started touching her waist.

"My ex- are not on my mind because I found somebody‥." He whispered in her ear. "No, Owen, I've seen girls hurt by you since high school and you're still doing that‥‥" "You care about me." He held her, tightly.

"Twenty years ago, we didn't get to talk that much, but somehow you knew about me more than you were supposed to, because you did care about me. Now you are asking me how I am doing and checking the relationship between my ex-fiancee and me, because you do care about me." He was seeing her, straightly.

Cristina couldn't deny. She dropped her eyes. All of the sudden, he kissed her. "Owen‥‥" She tried to resist, but he didn't stop. They fell on bed and he was touching all over her body. "No, Owen, we haven't finished talking." Although she was saying so, she knew her breath was getting hot. She also felt being filled by the things she had missed. Consequently, she gave herself over him.

Right away, their clothes were taken off. They felt the skins of each other. "Owen, you have a condom?" "I want you, now." He was burying himself into her. "Oh, no, I'm not ready." She felt a pain, she was not wet yet. Notwithstanding, he was continuing. "Alright, at least, could you slow down？" He covered her mouth and started moving quickly. Therefore she couldn't talk anymore.

She closed her eyes and kept kissing as he desired. She was feeling an agony, both mentally and physically. For her, this was neither making love nor having sex. This was like being a tool to be supporting his masturbation. After a while, he spread his seeds inside her body.