Disclaimer: God created Stan Lee, and Stan Lee created the X-Men. God saw that this was good. There's no way I'm going up against that.
Author's Note: I know. It's March, not January. I apologize! I decided to re-write this chapter. Originally, it featured only Sister Betsy and Sister Munroe, but I decided that a Brotherly touch would be more appropriate. Enjoy!
-X-
Chapter #9: Two Pillars of Strength
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
- Psalm 30:5
Sister Betsy sat at the kitchen table, her burnt bread toasting in the oven. She stared at the letter in her hand, her eyes reading over the words for the fourth time in disbelief. 'No…way…'
'Your bread is burning,' said the Reverend Mother, as she walked briskly into the kitchen and towards the oven. 'I could smell it all the way down the corridor!'
Brother Wagner, who had also smelled the scent of something burning, tailed in after Sister Munroe. When he saw that the Sister was in the process of discarding the charred loaf, he turned to acknowledge Sister Betsy. 'It is a rare day ven you allow one of your breads to face a fiery death, ja?' he said, in jest. When the Sister failed to respond, he frowned. 'Vas ist los?'(1)
'This.' She held up the small piece of paper, her eyes darting between the Brother and the Reverend Mother. 'I just found it. It was on the kitchen table.'
Sister Munroe sat down beside Sister Betsy and took the letter. Brother Wagner walked around to look over her shoulder. Scrawled with a rushed hand was a message from Remy. The letter was short and precise, with none of Remy's flourishing tone. In it, he explained that he was leaving. He expressed his thanks to the nuns and to Brother Wagner for their hospitality and for teaching him lessons that he would carry with him forever. He provided no explanation for his departure. His note was formal and sparse, with nothing of the emotion or compassion he so often displayed.
After reading the message, Sister Munroe turned it over as if willing there to be more on the other side. There was nothing. 'So he is gone,' she said, slowly.
Brother Wagner plunked down into the chair directly opposite her. He ran a hand through his dark locks, a deep sigh of disappointment escaping his lips. 'I knew zis day vas coming. I didn't realize it vould come zis soon.'
Sister Munroe nodded, her eyes travelling over the letter once more. 'But this is the limit. Surely he could have said goodbye in person.'
'Ve cannot blame him. You know zis.'
'Why can't we blame him?' Sister Betsy demanded. 'We did so much for him. How could he just leave like that?!'
Sister Munroe sighed resignedly, but she could not escape partaking in Sister Betsy's disappointment. She knew that Brother Wagner was right. She couldn't blame Remy for leaving. She couldn't have expected him to stay after his declaration of love went unrequited. And yet she couldn't help but feel betrayed somehow. Her thoughts turned abruptly to Rogue.
'How will we tell her?'
Brother Wagner shook his head wordlessly.
Sister Betsy watched them both in silence. She was aware that it was Rogue they were referring to, and it suddenly dawned on her the enormity of the letter. Remy had made no mention of Rogue. Had he confessed to her? Had she refused? Was this the reason for his leaving?
She stared at the letter that now sat between the three of them on the table. She felt numb. 'It's no one's fault,' she said, finally. 'It's not his fault for leaving. It's not her fault for staying.' She frowned. 'I hate this.'
'Well,' said Sister Munroe, picking up the letter and shoving it into a fold in her robe, 'there is nothing more now. Remy is gone. We did our duty towards him and now we must extend our guidance, warmth, and love towards Sister Rose.' She stood up from the table and moved towards the door. 'I will tell her.'
Brother Wagner and Sister Betsy watched as the Reverend Mother left the kitchen towards her daunting task.
'Zere has left a strong voman,' he said, quietly.
Sister Betsy nodded, her affection for Sister Munroe evident in her eyes. 'Definitely the best of us.'
Out in the hallway, Sister Munroe leaned her back against the cold, stone wall. She slid her hand into her pocket and clutched the letter in her clenched fist. Remy, you fool…. Why did I not give you the courage to stay?
-X-
It was Christmas Eve. The Convent was buzzing with activity as the nuns bustled about preparing for the Candlelight Mass. Most had ventured out into the village to do God's work, while others prepared the Christmas dinner with Sister Betsy. Still others were cleaning the Convent.
In the Church, Rogue was helping Brother Wagner prepare the alter for his sermon. They were both standing at either end of the alter table – Brother Wagner going over his notes and Rogue cleaning the golden chalice. They worked in silence.
Brother Wagner was painfully aware of Rogue's distracted, quiet disposition. There was a deep sadness in young nun's eyes that Brother Wagner found frightfully alarming. He wanted to talk to Rogue, to remind her that there were people willing to help her in any way. But even Brother Wagner was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to heal Rogue's broken heart.
Remy had stolen away under the blanket of darkness. He had reconciled himself to this fact, but he could not ignore the torment that hung around Rogue like a web of despair.
No one knew what words the Reverend Mother had used to tell Rogue that Remy had left. No one knew how Rogue had responded to the news. She had emerged from her room the next day, her eyes red and swollen. But she had carried on with her daily routine and said nothing that would reveal the state of her heart.
Sister Munroe, who had spent that night in Rogue's room, said only that Rogue had resolved herself to her current situation, and that all they could do was help her through the process.
'At least now she has learned a little about herself,' Sister Munroe had said in consolation. 'She has learned what love is, and she has learned what it means to sacrifice it.'
These words did nothing to make Brother Wagner feel better about the whole situation. He knew that Rogue's sacrifice was in part his fault. Her unwavering loyalty towards him had kept her here, and not with the man who resided in her heart. He glanced sideways at Rogue, a frown on his face.
'Stop lookin' at me like that,' Rogue said, without looking up at him. 'Ah'm fine.'
Brother Wagner sighed. 'You keep saying zat, but—' The words caught in his throat as the Church door flew open and Sister Munroe rushed in.
'Sister Rose! Oh, Sister Rose!' Sister Munroe grabbed Rogue's arm as she reached the alter and thrust a crumpled piece of paper into her hand.
Rogue looked down at the paper and then stared up at Sister Munroe questioningly. The Reverend Mother had her hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. 'I was cleaning his room,' she said, hastily. 'Oh, why had I not done it sooner! I was cleaning his room and found this note on his pillow.' She pointed at the letter. 'It is addressed to you.'
Rogue stared down at the letter, her heart beating a single beat to remind her that it was still there. The paper was folded in two. Her name was scribbled on one side. She ran her fingers over the letters of her name, and then looked up at her Brother.
'Vill you not read it?' he asked, gazing into Rogue's anxious eyes.
Rogue looked down at the folded piece of paper again. Brother Wagner and Sister Munroe watched with abated breath as Rogue inhaled slowly and unfolded the letter. Her eyes moved over the words, her lips slightly parted. Her eyes lingered for a moment, and then she passed the letter to Sister Munroe.
Sister Munroe and Brother Wagner exchanged worried looks. 'Vat does it say?' Brother Wagner asked, as Sister Munroe read the letter.
'He says he will wait.' She looked up at Rogue. 'He will wait in the Market Square until midnight on December 24th. That's tonight!'
Rogue sat down on one of the steps, her legs weakening. She clenched the front of her robe in her shaking hands. 'What does this mean?' she whispered.
'Is it not obvious,' Sister Munroe responded, sternly. She grabbed Rogue's hands and held them tightly. 'God is telling you what to do. He has given you this second chance to follow your heart.' Rogue began to shake her head but the Reverend Mother forged on. She was tired of being the voice of reason. She was tired of misdirecting Rogue's feelings in an attempt to protect her. 'You told me yourself, the night that Remy left, that you loved him.'
Rogue flinched. She had spent the last few days trying to reconcile herself to her actions. Hearing Sister Munroe repeat the truth in her heart was painful. 'Ah made a decision…'
'You made the wrong decision.' Sister Munroe sat down beside Rogue and lifted her hand to caress the young nun's cheek. Brother Wagner moved and sat down on Rogue's other side, placing his hand on her shoulder as an indication that he supported Sister Munroe's words. 'You know this now. We know this now. This is your chance to right the wrong.' Sister Munroe lifted Rogue's chin and gazed into those deep, emerald eyes. 'God brought you to us because you needed a family. God brought Remy here because he needed you. He has lived a sinful, loveless life. He was always running from something, until he came to rest here. You have become his safe haven.' Sister Munroe gave Rogue a reassuring, affectionate smile. 'This is the role God has written for you. You will always, always have a family here. The bond we have created will forever last. But if you do not go to Remy, you will deny him God's gift. Which is you.'
Brother Wagner squeezed Rogue's shoulder. 'Your heart knows vat to do. You must listen to it, or you vill forever live in regret.'
'But… Kurt…'
'God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power and love (2). Do not make me ze reason for your fear, meine schwester.'
Rogue exhaled the breath she was holding since Remy's departure. 'Ah don't wanna leave ya alone.'
Brother Wagner chuckled softly. 'Who said I vould be alone?' When Rogue didn't answer, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he had often done when they were children. 'I refuse to let you live for me. It is my duty, as der bruder(3), to make sure you alvays follow your heart.'
Rogue looked up at him, her large eyes moist with sisterly love. Brother Wagner smiled and patted her on the cheek. '"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take"(4). You know vich path to take.'
Rogue sniffed, and with tears falling from her eyes, she threw her arms around her brother in an embrace. Brother Wagner chuckled warmly and patted her affectionately on the back. He was vividly reminded of his youth, when his baby sister used to follow him everywhere, clutching at the hem of his shirt whenever she felt his attention going elsewhere. He loved Rogue, and although he was managing to maintain a brave face, he knew he would miss her terribly.
Sister Munroe cleared her throat softly, where a lump had been forming as she witnessed the unconditional love between a brother and a sister. 'We will always be here for you,' she said, as Rogue finally pulled away and gave them both a small smile.
'Ah know.' She looked from one to the other, realizing that they would always be her two pillars of strength. 'Ah know.'
Sister Munroe stood and extended her hand to Rogue. 'Come, dinner will be served soon. Let us enjoy your last meal with the others.'
They walked down the centre aisle towards the doors, Sister Munroe's arm wrapped around Rogue's waist while Brother Wagner held his sister's hand. Neither was related by blood, but they had forged their relationship in the hands of God. He had brought them together, and He would bless them always – no matter what path they chose to follow.
-X-
(1) Vas ist los = "What's the matter?" in German
(2) 2 Timonthy 1:7.
(3) der bruder = "brother" in German
(4) Proverbs 3:5-6
Author's Note: Only one more thing to do now…