"I'm just fine without you bothering me."
"Are you sure?"
"Like I'm sure that you're annoying? Yes."
"You know I'm gonna be persistent."
"I can just drive away from you."
"I can just wait at your house."
"I can label you as a stalker."
"I'll just say I'm trying to win you."
"Yeah, talk to the judge."
"I will."
"Will you ever leave me alone?"
"Nope."
Luigi turned on his heel, embarrassed that Waluigi – of all people – was walking behind him while making comments about courting him. Worse, people actually heard those comments and seemed to be thinking about how the two would work together.
The shorter just wanted to jump off a bridge.
To be honest, Luigi had past experience with being in a same-sex relationship. (Stupid Prince.) Certainly Waluigi wanting to date him was a nightmare he could live without.
"Luigi, just one chance." Waluigi called.
"No. That's that." Luigi called back, speeding up his pace.
Waluigi didn't seem to lose him, but instead caught up, "Look, I'm not gonna make this one like your last."
A few toads walking by looked at them confusedly.
Luigi shook his head and started to jog, "No thank you, Waluigi. I'm happy the way I am."
"I can make you happier!"
"Ugh!" Luigi stopped and turned to face Waluigi again, "Leave me alone! I'm fine!"
"How can you be so sure? What happened after Daisy? Oh dear, I don't feel fine, but I'm gonna act like I am! What happened after your secret date? I don't feel fine, but I'm gonna act like I am! What's going on right now? I'm not fine; because the Prince broke my heart, but I'm just gonna act like I am!"
Luigi started to shake in anger.
"Yet, where was I during all of this time? Hello, right in front of you, offering to help you – but someone would walk by behind me and you'd run after them!"
"Because I know what you'd do! I wouldn't like it!" Luigi shouted before marching off again.
A toad that was sitting at the nearby table looked at Waluigi – still standing there, frustrated – and said, "Can't win 'em that way buddy."
With a sigh, Waluigi started to think about how he could win. "I know."
Written in response to learning that Peasley/Luigi was a popular couple. Which I don't agree with, honestly. But that's my opinion.