Foreword: Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for taking so long. And I'm not even overly fond of this chapter either...I'm way behind in my schedule for this story; I'm so crazy busy right now. I should be sleeping right now, actually, but wanted to get this to you guys. Next time I'll be free will probably be May, and then there's finals, and then there's my brother's wedding, and then I still haven't played Super Paper Mario yet. ;)

Anyway...repeated apologies. And big news! The ebtwisty team has a website up with a lot of stuff you can check out about COH, including fanart by you all and a deleted scene from the story. Poke around, have fun! And I hope you like the chapter even if I don't really.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine still. You know that though.

Bowser looked through a window, watching his koopalings. Bowser had been at meetings all day and, as much as he loved his birthday, it was getting horribly annoying. He hated being away from Peach, so he was at least glad the topics at hand were something he enjoyed, namely himself.

Through the glass, his koopalings were playing some kind of net-game with what looked like ping-pong paddles and wiffle-balls. They were all clearly enjoying themselves, Iggy and Wendy playing against Lemmy and Larry, the rest of the koopalings cheering them on as well as booing. It seemed most of the cheering was being led by Peach…oh Peach…

Bowser touched the glass a little more tenderly. The sight was beautiful to him as a father…although Bowser hated anyone knowing it, he always wanted his children to be close to one another and their choice mother figure, Mama Peach. He watched as Peach lifted Bowser Jr. onto her lap, chatting with Ludwig about something he was composing.

Kamek lifted a scorecard and Iggy and Wendy began victory-dancing. Bowser proudly laughed as they took after their father, boasting with all their might, whilst Lemmy and Larry slunk back to the bleachers in defeat.

Iggy and Wendy ushered Roy onto the court, then Wendy grabbed Peach's hand. Although the glass was sound-proof, Bowser could almost hear Peach's laugh. It was bright, like a glass bell, melodious, like a thousand choirs of little girls, and gentle, like a babbling brook. She stepped onto the court, telling the koopalings something as she tied her hair into a ponytail.

Bowser realized that Peach must have been playing before he got there as she was decked out in sport-wear. He felt a sweat line his brow as he looked Peach up and down, wearing her short pink skirt showing off feminine legs and arms. She tossed the paddle from hand to hand and looked around, her eyes catching Bowser's. They lit up.

Bowser felt a lump form in his throat as she smiled at him and beckoned him to the court. His children spun to see their father and began jumping up and down. He hid his smile as he strutted onto the court, sunlight flooding his eyes.

"Alright, what game you playing?"

"Pickleball!" Bowser Jr. shouted gleefully. "Mama Peach taught us!"

"Pickleball?" Bowser asked. "I've never heard about Pickleball. It must be stupid."

"Bowser, you haven't even tried it!" Peach laughed, her eyes sparkling. "You should learn how to play before you call it stupid."

Bowser looked over at Peach, her perfect skin shining with the faintest touch of sweat. He cocked an eyebrow at her, replying, "Fine. But first we play a non-stupid sport that I can cream you all at."

Peach rolled her eyes with a smile. "Fine with me. What did you have in mind?"

Bowser grinned. "Volleyball!" His children groaned, some massaging bruises that started to hurt just from the thought.

"Dad, can we save our blood and play something less violent? Like tennis?"

Bowser growled, glaring at his children. He opened his mouth to tell them "no", but saw Peach out of the corner of his eye. She crossed her arms and clearly wasn't pleased with his parenting.

"Fine," Bowser agreed with a sigh, glancing expectantly at Peach. His oh-so-obvious glance made her laugh and smile, giving him a good enough response.

"I like tennis," Peach finally said, "I'm pretty darn good at it too."

"Not as good as me, I bet." Bowser told her with a grin. His children began agreeing, telling Peach far-fetched stories of Bowser's tennis prowess. "Can we play on a real tennis court, though?"

"What, you mean your hot, steamy slabs of rock you use as courts? Those aren't real. The greatest thing about sports like tennis is the fresh air, the feel of grass under your feet, the bounce of the ball off the dirt…you can't get that in a dungeon, Bowser."

Pouting, Bowser replied, "I know…but it's easier to win there."

"I thought you were unstoppable no matter what?" Peach laughed. "You've already got home-court advantage. Let's play here."

The koopas and Peach all stepped over to the equipment, dropping ping-pong paddles and picking out racquets. Bowser grabbed a yellow ball and tossed it into the air. "Fine with me. Here, you serve." He threw the ball to Peach, who caught it easily. "Good catch!"

Peach smiled, bouncing the ball a few times off her racquet. "You just wait 'till you see my returns." She smirked and sauntered over to the court. As Bowser watched her go, he took a deep breath. As wonderful as she was, he couldn't let her distract him. What would that show, that she could defeat him with a flick of her hair?

…okay, so she probably could. But what kind of Mighty Koopa King would he look like if he let her know it?

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Toadsworth was finally calm as he walked through the royal apple orchard. He picked a ripe, red apple and bit into it. Juice dribbled down his face, but he quickly cleaned it off with a brush of his handkerchief.

Reaching up for another, Toadsworth heard a familiar voice behind him. "Yoshi?" He looked over his shoulder and smiled. The apple he reached for snapped off the branch and Toadsworth tossed it to the Yoshi, who readily caught it with her tongue.

"Good catch, poppet!" Toadsworth exclaimed, the Yoshi cooing as she ran over to her friend. Toadsworth reached up to scratch the Yoshi's chin, speaking quietly as he scratched.

Distracted, neither of them noticed another toad approach. "Sir?"

Toadsworth looked over the toad and blinked. "Well, 'ello there, sah! And what seems to be the matter, wot?"

The toad gave a half-smile, glad his superior was happy, but feeling horribly like he might ruin the good mood. "Sir, we've found something…something about Peach."

The Yoshi's smile faded- she looked from the Toad's nervous expression to Toadsworth's excited one… "Wa-oh…" she said, nervously. Eagerly, she followed the toads as they headed towards the castle.

"What we found is over here, sir." The toad pointed to a very banged-up taxi-van, paint peeling and rust forming. "Someone found it in the river, and one of the gaurds recognized the license plate to be the one Her Highness left in."

"Great scallops…" Toadsworth's face fell, his eyes as wide as disks as he circled the van. "Was anyone…in it?"

"No." The toad quickly answered. "The river doesn't pass anywhere near the airport, but it does flow right by the taxi depot. We're hoping the…er…accident happened there and in no way involved Peach."

The Yoshi, who was just as nervous as Toadsworth, poked around the taxi. She decided it did look quite suspicious, but held no hints about what had happened.

"I say, did you contact the company about this mess?"

The toad nodded. "We're waiting to hear back. We intend to find out about Peach's trip, her scheduled driver, record of where she was dropped off, and what exactly happened with the taxi itself. Like I said, we hope that Peach is fine, we don't think there was any foul play that involved her. Coincidences do happen, sir…"

Toadsworth looked at the taxi, the river-rocks proving to be no help on its already low-quality appearance. "It better blooming well just be a coincidence."

He stepped closer to the taxi, poking it with his staff, as the Yoshi helped poke around as well. An official-looking toad approached him, trying to hide a frown. "Toadsworth," he gruffly called.

"Wot is it? Nothing bad, right-o?" Toadsworth faced the toad curiously

The toad gulped. "Actually…"

"What does 'actually' blooming mean?" Toadsworth seethed, trying to hide his fear behind anger. "Spit it out, laddie!"

"The taxi company has it in their log books that Peach cancelled her taxi ride just minutes after ordering it. And the taxi we have here went missing overnight, the night before she left."

Toadsworth's mask of anger dissolved as his face instantly paled. His eye began to twitch, his legs began to shake, and he felt faint. The yoshi rushed over, supporting Toadsworth and looking the other toad in the eyes.

"Waah…" she murmured, keenly aware of the horrible situation before the castle.

The toad official glanced at Toadsworth's petrified person. "We think…we hope…it's still possible she's okay…we can figure out what happened…who knows, maybe she really did cancel, maybe this is all her plan…"

Toadsworth flinched, imagining all the trouble Peach could unwillingly get herself in. "Laddie buck…that'd be just as bad, I'm afraid."

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"Game and Match!" Bowser roared, high-fiving Morton Jr, his team mate.

"You cheated!" Peach accused, making Bowser spin on his heels.

"We did not. I think if we had cheated, I would have known."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I've mastered cheating at tennis almost as well as I've mastered playing it legally."

"Well then how else did you beat us?"

"Hey look. If you were winning, I woulda let you-"

"Let us win? You are digging yourself one heck of a grave, mister!" Peach laughed. She turned to her own team member, Bowser Junior, and put out her hand for a high-five of their own.

"What are you so happy about, Mama Peach? We lost!"

"But we had fun. And you had some awesome moves out there, Junior! We could have won, they were on their heels for that one set, remember?"

Bowser Junior grinned, nodding quickly. "Yeah, we coulda beat you guys if we had tried!"

"That's what you think, scrawny rag-face loser-butt! We won, we beat you so bad, its crazy! You're gonna go crazy from our crazy winning stuff, loser-butt!" Morton grinned as he spat insults at Junior. Luckily for his ego, Peach's pep-talk moments before stopped a potential insult battle when Junior did nothing but stick his tongue out.

"Hey Bowser, you ready to learn Pickleball now?" Peach looked over at Bowser with a smile. "Or do you have meetings?"

"They're not important meetings. I'd rather learn this stupid game." Bowser grinned and stepped over to the equipment with Peach. Peach was a bit shocked to feel him put his claw on her bare arm, but his touch was calm and loving. "Did I tell you I love you today?"

Peach brushed her hair back, trying to hide a horrible blush. "No, not today."

"Well I do. And I'm so glad I can tell you that. I love you, Peach."

Peach looked up at Bowser's eyes, glistening with love and honesty. They were so beautiful that way… "I know, Bowser." Peach smiled and swallowed a lump in her throat.

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The koopalings leaned in to hear the tiny spy-radio Larry had set up by the equipment bin. Their faces lit up and Larry spoke out. "Look at that! They're soooo totally falling in love."

"I get the points! I played ball with them! I get the points!"

"I played with them too, dunderhead! I get the points, stupid dunderhead!"

"Hush!" Iggy growled. "I got the idea of them to play tennis, so I get the points!"

"You did not, liar!"

"They did it on their own, Iggy!"

Wendy's face lit up and she stepped onto a bleacher above them all, spreading her arms wide. "Watch and learn, amateurs. This work of cupid genius is all mine. And Larry, we're using your spy stuff." Wendy jumped onto the court and approached Bowser and Peach with a sweet, innocent face. She battered her eyelashes at her dad and placed her right toe behind her left foot.

"What did you do?" Bowser growled.

"Why, I did nothing, Daddy!"

"That's a shame. I felt like getting someone in trouble."

Wendy rolled her eyes, quickly catching herself and putting on her innocent face again. "I just thought maybe you and Mama Peach should play Pickleball in private. That way Mama Peach can teach you… better. Right, Daddy?"

Bowser looked over at Peach. Answering, she raised her eyebrows, shrugged, and smiled. Bowser, trying to contain his excitement, shook his paddle at Wendy. "Alright, fine. As long as you stop calling me 'Daddy'. It's creeping me out."

Peach laughed and smiled at Wendy, who skipped off. Once Wendy got to her brothers, she waved them off.

"What are they up to?" Bowser wondered out loud, walking over to the court.

"I think they're trying to set us up," Peach replied, walking to her side of the court.

"Is it working?" Bowser asked, a little too eagerly.

Peach laughed, "I don't think you're allowed to ask that question, mister. Alright, let's start."

"Start what?"

Peach laughed again. Bowser's heart swelled again. "Start learning to play Pickleball, silly!"

"Hey, no one, not even you, can call the Koopa King 'silly'."

Peach huffed. "Fine, Bowser. I'll call you 'your-ultimate-mightiness-lord-of-all-who-is-in-no-way-silly'. How about that? Regal enough?"

Bowser grinned. "Yeah, sounds good." He looked over at Peach and felt like he would burst from happiness. "Peach, I love you."

"I know, Bowser." Peach smiled, almost exasperatedly, yet feeling herself get lost in his gaze. It didn't take long, however, to realize what was happening. She forcibly looked down at the grass. "We need to get playing."

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Luigi and Mario both jumped when a bell rang, signaling the end of their class. Unlike most classed, the bell didn't wake them up, but rather stunned them. The teacher had caught their attention so well they had forgotten where they were.

The teacher, a short woman with streaked blonde-and-brown hair laughed cheerily. She jumped off the table she had been sitting on, sticking the plunger in her hand onto the floor. "I guess we're done here. And I actually have a lunch-break next, so I'll see you all later!"

The brothers stood up to leave with the crowd, Mario looking through their heads for the teacher. Luigi tapped his shoulder, making him jump again. "Remember, you-a have a question for-a her."

Mario nodded, trying to break through the small crowd that had formed around the teacher. He had completely forgotten what his question was about, but decided he could think up another. Finally, they got close enough to hear the teacher laugh at jokes her "peers" (as she had called them during the class) told her, answer questions about her day job, and a few questions she said were too personal to answer.

She looked over at Mario and Luigi and then did a double-take. "Excuse me, are you the Mario Brothers?"

Mario puffed up his chest, proudly nodding with Luigi. "Si, Its-a me, Mario-"

"And-a me, Luigi!"

The teacher smiled fondly and shook their hands, ignoring the other plumbers around them. "I heard you two were at the convention, I didn't think I'd ever meet you! I'm a big fan."

"Thank you, Miss-"

The teacher laughed. "Please, call me Merideth. Now that class is over, there's no need for formalities. Not that my sessions are all that formal anyway…oh look at me rambling on. I'm sure you had a question…?"

Mario shook his head. "Not-a really."

Luigi looked over at Mario, glaring at him. In Italian, he hissed "Non realmente? Durante l'intera lezione avete detto che gli avete avuti una domanda per! (Not really? The entire lesson you said you had a question!)"

"Sia calmo, Luigi! (Shut up, Luigi!)" Mario hissed back, smiling sweetly at Merideth.

"Oh wow, you guys do speak Italian. I always thought it was just a cover up."

"Cover up for-a what?" Luigi asked curiously.

"Oh, I don't know. Something more boring."

"We're-a already some of the-a only humans in a Toad-a world." Mario said pointedly.

"Good point," Merideth said, "I know how that feels." She smiled, before continuing. "I'm sorry, but I really need to be getting to lunch and there are other people who apparently have questions for me. I hope you two'll come to some of my other classes…? I have one on proper advertising procedure tomorrow at three. Hope to see you there!"

"Me too!" Mario chirped before Luigi dragged him away.

"I'm-a surprised you didn't-a get her phone-a number," Luigi teased.

Mario shook his head, explaining, "She-a wouldn't-a give it to me if I asked. There was-a too many people around."

"So you-a did want her phone-a number!" Luigi laughed, Mario's eyes opening wide. Luigi laughed, before adding, "Mario has-a crush on-a the teacher!"

Mario's face was flushing as he glared up at his younger brother. "I-a do not. I just-a….just-a…"

Luigi punched his brother in the arm, smirking. "It-a doesn't matter. It's-a just one-a crush. I-a understand."

"I don't-a care if-a you understand," Mario growled. "You're-a just my brother."

"Oh, gee thanks."

Mario and Luigi walked towards their hotel room, Luigi occasionally jibing a silent Mario about the teacher. Finally, Mario spun on his heels. His mustache quivering, Mario asked, "Do-a you have a crush on-a anyone but-a Daisy?"

Luigi stopped and looked into the sky to think. "I don't-a think so." Luigi looked over at Mario's face- distant and stone cold. "But-a hey. I'm-a not the same as-a everyone. Don't-a worry about anything. We-a don't even have to-a go to her classes."

Mario shook his head. "No, I-a want to-a go to them."

Luigi looked over at Mario, a little surprised. Mario tried to hide a blush. "All-a right. I don't-a mind going; but-a I'm not-a the one with-a the crush."

Mario glared at Luigi as they arrived at their room. Thoughts were flickering through their heads as they stepped in, thoughts tainted by possibilities they wanted to dismiss. But the thoughts kept flying, and it wasn't a very pleasant time for either.

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Kammy's foot tapped the stone floor impatiently, echoing through the halls. She conjured a clock, watching the seconds tap far slower than her foot, yet clearly marking Bowser's tardiness. She looked into the room he was supposed to be in three minutes and twenty-four –make that twenty-five- seconds ago. She chanted something under her breath and teleported to his location, just a few feet away from the King's mighty pickle-ball swing.

"Sire!"

Caught off-guard, Bowser missed a return as he spun to see Kammy. His face showed surprise, understanding, and then frustration. "Peach, that didn't count. Kammy surprised me." Bowser stormed over to Kammy, towering over her and spitting sparks as he demanded, "What is it?"

"Your mightiness, you're late for a meeting that your presence is highly expected."

"If I went everywhere my presence was "highly respected" I'd never stop moving! I-"

"I said you're expected, sire, not respect-"

"Did I ask you to interrupt me?" Bowser snarled.

Kammy squinted hard before reopening apparently indifferent eyes. "No, your wonderfulness. But we really need your opinion. This is your party we're planning."

Bowser pointed a finger haughtily at Peach as he snarled, "I'm busy, can't you see that, or are your hag eyes too batty and old to tell? I'm playing…pickleball…with Princess Peach. I think the stupid-"

"Your cruelty, you can play "pickle ball" some other time. Your birthday is tomorrow, sire, and we need your help. I can't leave unless you're with me."

Peach's voice carried over the court as she suggested, "Bowser, you should go to the meeting. I can finish teaching you la-"

"No one asked your opinion, princess!" Kammy spat angrily, sparks flying from the tip of her wand. "Bowser, come with me."

"I'm only coming because Peach said I should. And I've decided I want to. You have nothing to do with it, bat-bones."

"Fine." Kammy touched her wand to Bowser's arm and with a pop, he was gone. Before moving herself she scurried over to Peach, pressing an old, long nail into Peach's face. "You…stay out of his life…he's better off without you…we all are…you're nothing but…a piece of fungus…princess Toadstool." Kammy's eyes glared with hate before she popped away in a flurry of primary-colored shapes.

Author's Note: This is short today because I want to get going on the next chapter. Which, by the way, only has 3 pages written and I don't really like them quite yet. I'm planning some fun stuff, but I've introduced a new plotline that I never intended to, so I've got a lot of work to do planning wise. :P

Anyway. Even though I probably disappointed you making you wait so long for an unsatisfacory chapter, I'd love some love anyway. ;)

-Razzi