Foreword: Here it is! Finally! Bowser's birthday begins.
Good news- I'm back on track! 19 is finished, which means I'm back on my schedule I've been behind on for CHAPTERS. Bad news- Bowser's birthday is going a LOT slower than I expected, which means we may be well into the 20s before the ball. Of course, some of you may think that's a good thing, I dunno.
This is a weird chapter to me. It's got important stuff, stuff I need to move the story forward and some stuff I like, but it just feels...weird to me. Hopefully weird / crappy, eh? Anyway, try and enjoy.
Disclaimer- I still don't own anyone more than I did last chapter.
Junior was racing his brothers down the hall leading to Peach's room, mightily proud to be winning. He leapt over banners, one after another, and ducked under paintings and photographs being moved through the halls.
Everyone in the entire palace was busy doing something…even this early, at 4:15 in the morning. The entire palace was being put upside down, every hall being decorating like mad for the king's birthday. As Koopa Tradition read, the honoree could not see the decorations until he had woken on his birthday. Thus, on the most important birthday of the year, the palace went through total mayhem the second Bowser stepped in his room the night before. Armies of workers had been called from all over the country to cover the halls, decorate the rooms, prepare the ballroom and dining halls, pave the streets with offerings, and bring in truckload after truckload of gifts.
Junior got to the end of the hall, slamming into the door, followed immediately by his many siblings who crashed into him, one after another. They hollered and growled at each other, none of them pleased to have their soft underbellies smacked up against spiked shells.
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The ruckus was quite to wake the Princess. She recognized the bickering on the door's other end instantly, frowning as she noticed the time. Surely we don't need to start now…it's not far after four!
She squeezed her eyes shut, pulling herself up with intense effort and shuffled over to the door. Cracking it open proved that the koopalings really did expect her to be awake, but before she could groggily complain, all eight eagerly ran in. Lemmy and Larry leapt up onto her unmade bed, beginning to jump while Morton stood on the ground yelling obscenities at them. Wendy wandered into Peach's make-up drawer, picking through her many colors and brands. Bowser junior was telling her something which he assumed was very important, but over Morton no one could hear a word anyone else was saying, not even Ludwig arguing with Roy.
Peach slumped back into an armchair, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes and absorb an ounce of the energy these koopalings all had at such large amounts. She tried to focus her attention on Bowser Junior, but soon found herself asleep in the soft, plush chair.
Peach's unconscious state went unnoticed for a few moments until Junior realized his audience wasn't responding to his wonderful story. He grumbled as he wandered into her bathroom, almost tripping over the very-nosy Wendy. He grabbed a cup of cold water, stepping carefully over his sister again on the way back.
Junior was poised to throw the water when he cringed…if Mama Peach told Papa that I soaked her, Papa's…not gonna be happy with me… Finally, he called Lemmy over. "Lemmy, I gotsa job for you…it's super important, so listen close." Lemmy nodded, narrowing both eyes, although only his good one was focused on his younger brother. "I need you to splash Mama Peach with this water so she wakes up."
Lemmy slowly accepted the cup, but looked disbelieving at it. "I dunno, Junior. That seems kind of mean."
Junior rolled his eyes and pushed the cup further into Lemmy's grip. "But you love being mean. It's just…a koopaling…thing!"
Lemmy slowly began to give the cup back to his brother although he growled intensely in response. "If it's a koopaling thing…you should do it!" Lemmy argued.
Junior pushed the cup back, growling, "No…I'm letting you have this chance!"
"But I don't want to splash Mama Peach!" Lemmy argued, pushing the cup back.
Hearing an argument, Morton turned his attention away from Larry, now jumping alone. He marched over to the bickering brothers and began to insult them both for not being koopa enough to splash Peach.
The three of them grabbed the cup, fighting against each other just loud enough to stir the princess. She blinked her eyes open and then narrowed them at the boys. "What are you all doing?" she wondered aloud.
Shocked, Lemmy and Junior let go, the force from Morton's grip splashing the water into Peach's already awake face. Peach's eyes were as wide as disks and the boys' were as well. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath, squeezing out some sopping blond hair. As Peach opened her eyes she forced a smile. "Thanks for waking me," she said through her teeth.
"Sorry Mama Peach…" Junior whispered.
Peach grinned wickedly as an idea flashed through her head. "That's okay, Junior. Wanna hug from your Mama Peach?" She outstretched her arms, pajamas dripping as they stuck to her flesh, and tried to look welcoming.
Junior shrieked and ran from Peach who began to chase them all around the room. After scattering all seven boys in her main room, Peach finally tackled Junior to the ground, giving him a rather wet noogie.
As his brother squirmed and shrieked, Ludwig tapped Peach on the shoulder. She turned her attention from the youngest to the oldest koopaling, smiling innocently up at the blue-haired brother. "We need to commence the breakfast preparations right away. Today is going to be very convivial, so Father necessitates a non-jejune meal. Therefore, it is pertinent we begin without further ado…"
Wendy stepped into the room, and rolled her eyes. "Ludwig, you have got to be like, the nerdiest thing in this world. I don't know if your nerdy words are, like, better than that "nerr" geek…word…thing…or if they're, like, worse."
"Are you usually this fractious in the morning, Wendy? Just because my superior intelligence is sometimes abstruse to the likes of you does not mean you should throw invectives around at will, it does not mean you should follow Morton's paradigm."
Hearing his name, Morton looked up. "Did the blue-freak just insult me?"
Peach clapped her hands to try and get their attention before the entire family began to fight. "Ludwig was saying we need to get going on breakfast…why don't you all head over while I get ready for the day?"
"No, Mama Peach!" Larry protested. "We all get ready at the same time as Dad does. Come make breakfast in your jammies, it's okay. It takes too long for you to get ready anyway."
Peach lifted her arms, water dripping from her sides. "Don't you think I should at least dry off?"
"Nope!" Bowser junior decided, grabbing Peach and pulling her out the door, leading the way for his siblings.
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By the time they arrived at the kitchen, Junior had let Peach walk herself. As per tradition, the entire breakfast was made by the koopalings, this year plus Peach, so even Cookoopa was nowhere to be seen. No doubt the cook was helping decorate the palace.
The koopalings were thrilled to have Peach with them- Bowser had a tendency to punish them for mediocre breakfasts and none of them knew how to cook, so each birthday the koopalings sported a fine red bruise. This year would be different…even if it turned out horrid, they could blame it on the princess and Bowser would instantly decide it was wonderful.
Peach had already put each koopaling at a station…Ludwig was whisking up crepe batter while Roy sizzled pan after pan of bacon. Iggy was scrambling a pot-full of eggs, and while his muffins were baking, Lemmy helped his brothers as a sous chef for them all. Wendy was mixing smoothies and flipping waffles while watching Larry freak out over his sausage and hash browns. Bowser Junior seemed perfectly thrilled to be toasting piece after piece of goombread, but Morton wasn't so thrilled with his job of collecting dishes. Peach supervised them all whilst mixing and making pancakes, and overall, the job was getting done with surprising efficiency.
Except for the occasional complaint from Wendy or Morton, the koopalings seemed to actually enjoy making the breakfast…if nothing else they were pleased to be working for their father's good. They also took every opportunity they had to tell Peach something wonderful about him, some stealing another's ideas to try and bump up their score.
After a little under an hour in cooking, Peach flipped her last pancake onto the towering stack. She was now completely dry, though a bit splattered with batter. Each koopaling held a heaping platter of whatever they had helped to make. Morton, still upset about his "lame job for lamesters who are super lame", got to lead the parade of food and had convinced himself his job was actually the best of them all.
As the nine went through the halls, they were applauded, ignored, and envied by the tired workers. Peach occasionally offered the workers pancakes, but when given the actual chance, they were at a loss for what to do and had no choice but to decline.
At last they arrived at Bowser's big, black main entrance to his bedroom. The koopalings looked at one another, eyes alight with excitement. Clearly, the birthday of their father was just as wonderful as Christmas. "Mama Peach?" Morton began, a bit shakily.
After blinking in surprise at his respect, Peach smiled. "Yes, Morton?"
Morton stepped to the side, leaving the path to the door wide open. "Do you want to knock?"
Peach smiled at Morton's honest question and then frowned a bit. "Bowser's not going to come out threatening to kill whoever woke him, will he?"
Iggy laughed, "Naw, it's his birthday. He knows he has to get up early, it just means more time when the world revolves around him."
Peach nodded in understanding. "Sounds like him," she said with a bit of a smile. Peach stepped up to the large door and put the mountainous pancake plate on her hip, using her free hand to rap on the door as loud as her human knuckles could allow.
The nine of them stood patiently for about half a minute before Morton's respect and patience was worn through. "Alright, enough of this crappy respect junk. DAD!" Following Morton's example, the koopalings roared at their father, loud enough to wake the entire palace.
"Come in, you lousy brats!" Bowser hollered through his door, allowing for the eight koopalings to rush in and onto his bed. Peach was practically pushed there as they all piled on, making themselves comfortable. Or at least, as comfortable as you could be on steel-wool.
"Bowser!" Peach chastised as she heard her nightgown begin to rip on the non-fabric. "What is this?"
"My bed, duh." Bowser answered from under his coarse sheets. "Gimme a plate, bigmouth."
Morton handed his father a plate, his own already laden with sausage. The nine of them all fit quite comfortably on Bowser's ginormous bed, passing food around. Peach, initially a bit dubious about preparing enough food to feed her army, was now quite confident there wouldn't be left-overs. Bowser's plate had about four times the amount of food her own did, and he wasn't quite done piling it all on.
"Hey brats, you all forgot to tell me something this morning."
With his mouth full of syrupy pancakes, Roy asked, "Wassat?"
Junior smacked his older brother over the head and hissed, "Happy Birthday, doofus!"
As if on cue, all eight koopalings mumbled "Happy Birthday", each adding their own word for Bowser's title at the end and ignoring the food in their mouths. Peach had waited until she swallowed, so her "Happy Birthday" came much later than the others, earning a few laughs.
"But Bowser, seriously…how can you sleep with this bedding?" she asked, bringing up a forgotten question.
Puffing up his chest, Bowser answered, "I'm just manly like that. I can sleep under anything,"
"And he'll still snore," Larry added jokingly.
They all laughed and continued the chatter over their plates. Peach occasionally stole a glance at the birthday honoree, clearly pleased with himself. There he was, on the day the world looked to him…or rather, the parts of the world he owned…surrounded by his wonderful children and the woman he'd loved since before he knew how.
Peach also noticed Bowser was without his shell…although he still had a yellow-ridged stomach, it seemed more…defined. Unlike most koopas who looked deformed and naked without their shells, Bowser held his shape quite well. So well, in fact, Peach found herself catching more glances than she intended or even understood why.
The ten of them seemed very happy together, eating and laughing, as Bowser insulted them all…except Peach. Bowser couldn't seem to be able to do anything but compliment or brag to her.
Iggy bit a rather crunchy piece of bacon and smirked at his dad. "So why don't you tell Princess Peach how old you are?"
Peach brightened up. "Yeah, this is your birthday! How old are you today?"
Bowser raised a bushy eyebrow at them both. "Does it really matter? I'm sexy no matter how old I am."
"Well you can, like, still tell how, like, old you are, that's, like, no big deal."
Bowser grinned toothily. "I'm one year older than I was yesterday."
Peach lightly smacked Bowser's defined bicep, surprised at how much it hurt her own hand. "Bowser, just tell!"
He faced the princess, her eyes sparkling. With a grin, he asked, "will you kiss me if I told you?"
Her face flushing, Peach muttered, "Now that's not a very fair trade…"
"On whose end?" Bowser craftily replied.
Junior pointed at Peach and shrieked, "Mama Peach, you're changing colors! You're changing colors!" Bowser laughed in amusement as Peach glared at his youngest, the wiser koopalings smothering Junior's mouth.
As an awkward silence started to form, Roy hissed something to Ludwig, clearly upset. Ludwig nodded and faced his father. "Father, last night you and Princess Peach were omnipresent in my phantasmagoria of dreams. You both were colluding about some sort of incipient quandary…I never discovered what it was…Morton began to fulminate so I could no longer eavesdrop appropriately."
"I began to what?" Morton demanded, interrupting stifled laughter from Peach. Roy smacked his forehead obnoxiously and called Ludwig off the bed to scold him about whatever he had said. While they were intensely arguing, Wendy took the open chance.
"So…Princess Peach…did Daddy, like, ever finish his pickleball game with you?" Peach delicately swallowed a forkful of eggs as she shook her head in response. Wendy widened her eyes and tutted. "What a shame! I'm, like, sure he wants to…perhaps you'll have, like, more time to finish later. Was Daddy, like, a good student?"
"Hey now, what did I tell you about calling me 'Daddy', fish face?"
"To, like, not." Wendy answered with an eyeroll.
"What is Wendy talking about?" Bowser Junior asked through a mouthful of muffin.
"Mama Peach and Dad's pickleball game, duh," she hissed back at him. She glared an obvious stay out of this and Junior replied with a grin and a thumbs-up.
"So how was it?" Junior tried to help, earning only a growl from his sister.
"Well, we were interrupted, as I've told you all when all of you asked when I visited all of you just afterwards," Peach told them all with a clear motherly annoyance.
Just as Wendy was about to ask further about the pickleball game, Morton growled, "What did Loserwig von Fartface say I did? In his…uh…phantomporn dream or whatever?"
Iggy laughed out loud at his younger brother. "Ludwig didn't have a 'phantom-porn dream'…he's too socially inept to even know what that is."
Ludwig, hearing an insult about himself, spun on his heels and glared at his brothers. "What did you say?" In response, his siblings only laughed. Upset, Ludwig continued, "I do not appreciate being discomfited!"
Peach looked over at Ludwig and Roy and motioned for them to rejoin the bed full of royalty. As they did she looked over at Bowser and smiled. Catching her eye, Bowser smiled back, feeling his heart flop. I love you, he mouthed. Reading his words, hers flopped too.
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Kamek, after finishing a rather fulfilling breakfast, headed to his room. He knew today would be hectic and hard, but he was on gift-registry duty, so at least he wouldn't need to tire himself out.
In front of Kamek's solid rock door was a pile, several feet high, of flowers, candies, and teddy-koopas. Kamek shook his head and cast a spell to help his offerings levitate while he fumbled with a key.
"Where'd all the junk come from?" Kammy asked as she popped up next to him, leaning against the stone corridor with a curious expression on her face.
After scores of years around magikoopas, Kamek was used to magical appearances like Kammy's. He chuckled, "Wendy, although there are a few death notes in here from Roy as well."
With an almost relieved air, Kammy replied, "Alright, that makes more sense. Just wanted to make sure there wasn't some mentally-whacked koopa out there, thinking you were worth any effort."
Kamek pushed his door open, directing the bribery towards the growing pile in the corner. "What would you have said if that's what it was?"
Kammy examined her claws and staff as she haughtily replied, "I don't know…found her and knock some sense into her." Looking at the gifts, clearly bribery, Kammy inquired, "So what does the princess want anyway?"
Kamek snickered away from Kammy's view. He craftily answered, "By the end of the week, hopefully, the same thing you want already."
Kammy scrunched her eyes as she stared at Kamek's smirk. "What?" Kamek's smirk grew wider and Kammy caught on they were discussing different princesses. Kammy knew Kamek was somehow involved in the whole Peach-Bowser get-together fan-club…thing; she eventually realized what he meant. "You ignorant scumbag," she hissed, "wrinkled, senile old koopa koot!"
She threw hexes at Kamek who easily tapped them away with his broom. "At least you're admitting it now,"
"I'm not admitting anything! I don't know what you're talking about, idiotic haggard!"
Kamek leaned against his bed-stand as he continued deflecting the hexes towards the bribery pile. "Mmhmm. Which is exactly why you're turning the chocolates into chickens." Indeed, various bugs and birds were now mingling with the teddy-koopas and remaining candies. After rolling her eyes and spinning her wand, however, Kammy reversed the spells, conveniently leaving the bird-messes on Kamek's carpet.
Kamek grinned, his protruding tooth obvious, but Kammy was still sour. After a sigh, he said, "Look, I've got more chocolate than I could ever stand…take some."
"How sweet, regifted bribery," Kammy drawled, "No thanks."
As Kammy began to leave, Kamek stopped her with another question. "What are you going to do today? I mean…since His Majesty has a different escort than usual?"
Kammy grew visibly cold as she turned to Kamek. "I'm in charge of the brats," she hissed, "and when they're gone I help with the ball. Why do you care?"
"Because I was curious…and it must be hard for you," Kamek honestly explained. Not being able to find a reply, Kammy remained silent. "You sure you don't want any chocolates?"
Avoiding Kamek's eyes, Kammy quietly answered, "Just the raspberry dark chocolates."
Kamek nodded and moved his wand in a way that all the boxes opened, rearranging so the select few flew up into the air, the complete contents of one box emptying into the now-free holes, and the raspberry dark chocolates placed themselves in the now-empty box. The boxes re-wrapped themselves and landed on the pile, Kammy's box floating towards her.
She snatched it out of the sky and took one out to eat. Without a word of thanks, Kammy popped away, leaving Kamek alone with his gifts.
He tipped his hat to the now vacant spot and whispered, "Happy Bowser Day".
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Mario blinked his eyes open after his nap. He peeled his head off the car window and straightened his mustache, eyes still adjusting to the blaring sunshine reflecting off the sand. Wait, sand?
He rubbed his eyes again and saw the same sight…dust being blown up from their plumber's truck as they trundled through a desert…they certainly hadn't come up from home this way. "Ah…Luigi?" He asked nervously. When his brother didn't answer, Mario looked over and saw why. Luigi seemed to be in a trance…he didn't notice the sweat dripping down his face and pooling near his mustache, his eyes were practically glazed-over. All Mario could hear, besides the whirr of the air-conditioner on overdrive, was a faint hum of an almost unrecognizable song.
"Luigi?" No response. Mario furrowed his eyebrows as his brother drove without seemingly even being conscious. "Where are we-a going?"
In response, there was nothing…only more humming. Patiently, Mario leaned in and began to make out the words- "…you'll look sweet…of a bicycle built for…aisy, Daisy, give me the ans…I'm so crazy…" Mario slumped back into his chair and crossed his eyes in frustration.
Impatient, Mario leaned over and pressed as hard as he could onto the truck's horn. The blare sent Luigi back to earth with a crash as he trashed about in his seat, cursing in Italian. "What was-a that-a for?"
"You took us in-a the wrong-a direction! We're-a miles from where-a we should-a be."
Luigi seemed to be in denial that he could do such a thing, although the evidence was literally all around them. "I would-a never do that. I could-a drive home with-a my eyes a-closed. I have excellante direction sense-a."
Mario peered out ahead, squinting his eyes to make out an approaching road sign. After reading it, he glared at Luigi. "You also have a one-a tract mind-a." Luigi squinted to read the sign as well, a faint smile crossing his face as he read Sarasaland- 10 miles.
He grinned at his scowling older brother and begged, "Since we're-a here anyway? Just-a for a bit?"
Mario rolled his eyes and pouted slightly. "Since we're-a here. Okay."
As Luigi began to finally drive in full consciousness of where he was headed, a goofy smile crossed his face. Turning to Mario, he expected similar jollity but found the exact opposite. "Mario, is there-a fuzzy in-a your overalls? You look-a down." Mario only shook his head. "Hey, lighten-a up. We-a don't have to go to anymore-a boring classes. And we're-a going to see Daisy…she'll-a make us both some-a nice pasta."
"Daisy can't cook." Mario chuckled, remembering last time she tried to make pasta- she was the only person Mario had ever seen accomplish burning water.
Luigi chuckled as well. "We wouldn't trust-a her with-a the pasta. But we could-a cook it, or her servants could-a for us." He glanced at Mario, his frown fading slightly as he imagined the rich, creamy pasta they could make. Luigi smiled at his success and continued. "And just-a think, next-a week, we're in-a Grand Canal…Grand Canal, Mario! With Mama, Papa, and Peach! We're all-a going to have a wonderful-a time."
Mario's smile spread farther as he imagined spending the week in Grand Canal. "They have-a great pasta."
Luigi kissed his fingers as he, too, imagined the delicacy. "The best in all-a the lands."
"And we'll-a be with-a Peach," Mario looked over at Luigi, the both of them smiling. "What do you think she's-a doing right-a now?"
Luigi shrugged. "Don't-a know. But I-a know what-a her cousin's a-doing." Luigi pointed his finger at the yellow figure not far off, trying to attempt to get onto a yoshi side-saddle. He honked the car's horn and Daisy, who had finally accomplished getting on her green steed, fell off with a clatter.
She brushed her bangs out of her hair and looked towards the plumbers' truck, lumbering towards her. Daisy quickly stood up and waved frantically, her shoulder-length hair bouncing playfully as she jumped. As the truck pulled up next to her, Luigi rolled down his window, letting Daisy plot her elbows right on it. She smiled at the brothers as she asked, "What are you doing here?"
"Luigi got a bit…distracted on-a the way home."
Daisy raised an eyebrow at Luigi. "Distracted, eh?" She smiled and Mario could practically see Luigi's heart leap into his throat. "Well, why don't you boys come on in…we'll get you a bite to eat. Do you think you'd like to just…stay here until Saturday? Since Peach is on vacation still, I mean…we could just meet her at the airport."
"That seems-a fine to me, how about-a you, Mario?" Luigi asked as he got ready to get out of the truck, still parked in the middle of the road. Luigi seemed more than eager to get out of the truck and put Daisy in his arms. Indeed, as soon as he stepped out, Daisy flung herself into his arms and took a deep breath.
Daisy pulled back a bit and scrutinized Luigi. "I think we could get you two a shower, too." She pulled herself out of Luigi's hug and smiled. "So Mario, it's up to you. Stay?"
Mario nodded. "We're-a here, we don't-a have plans. Sounds good to-a me."
Daisy squealed in joy, grabbing both boys hands and pulling them fiercely towards her desert castle. She jabbered on about how bored she was, the plans she would make, where they would sleep, and even her adventures in yoshi riding 'the proper way'.
Behind the princess's back, Mario tried to catch Luigi's eye, finding her expectable mood and reaction to their arrival amusing. However, Luigi's eyes were firmly placed on the Princess herself, a smile forming and his expression distant and enamored. Mario smiled under his mustache and rolled his eyes, letting Daisy pull him along.
Author's Note: Next chapter's pretty weird too. It's like I didn't write it.
Actually, sometimes I get weird stuff going on writing this story that makes it go other than planned...Peach says and does stuff I didn't mean for her to do, and next chapter, funnily enough, Bowser gives insight on life which totally makes sense coming from him, but after I finished typing it I was like "heh...that's actually really cool. Did I just make that up?". Makes me feel like I should write wise people into stories so I can get insight myself. XD
But aside from that icky sidetracting I just had, next chapter's intresting/weird. But it's got a good deal of fluff...in fact, the ENTIRE thing is in either Bowser or Peach's line of sight...I haven't been so lame about POVs since chapter 2. :P
Anyway. Thank you for reading this chapter, regardless of it being kind of weird. Hopefully the weirdness, wherever it came from, will wear off by 20. :)
-Razzi