"Ugh, disgusting."

Waluigi merely glanced over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at the man tied up behind him, "What is?"

"This whole situation," the man struggled against the ropes that kept him from using his arms, "I think we can come to an agreement, no?"

"You were the one stupid enough to come all the way out here, sir." Waluigi flicked at the side of his cup, thinking about many routes he could take from here.

The man scoffed, his mask shrinking around his eyes as he squinted, "I wasn't stupid for coming out here; I was stupid for getting caught."

"So you claim." Waluigi calmly approached the man, fingers drumming against his cup as he smiled, "Who are you, anyway? Some idiot trying to be a ninja?"

"Still your tongue, imbecile! I'm Mr. L! Remember that!" The man snapped, furiously struggling against his restraints, "You were just lucky to have captured me, is all!"

"Hmm, Mr. L? What, did you not like your old name?" Waluigi hovered over the shorter character, "I'm sure 'Mr. L' is a name hard to come by in a preschool."

"I can call myself whatever the hell I please." Mr. L snarled, "Quit that."

"Quit what?"

"Your picking!"

"Oh, so bad boy Mr. L's feelings are getting hurt because I'm poking fun at his name?"

Mr. L groaned, his head lolled down and his shoulders slumped, "Why, just why?" he hissed.

Waluigi held the cup out over the man, "So, Mr. L, what exactly made you want to break into my house this time of night?"

"I aimed to get your head," Mr. L began, "I didn't know you were an insom-what the hell are you doing?" His eyes widened as he looked up, "Pouring a drink on me? How mature."

"Not just any drink," Waluigi grinned, "an icy cold cup of water."

Mr. L giggled, "Like that's gonna do anything."

Waluigi frowned, sharply rotating his wrist so that the top of the cup faced downwards. The contents inside came down in a large mass of cold displeasure, water and ice smashing against Mr. L's head and back in the blink of an eye. Said man's mouth gaped in shock, his shoulders arched in surprise and his spine shook from the sudden cold, "H-haugh!"

"Ah ha, not so badass now, are we Mr. L?" The trademark simper of deviousness came across Waluigi's face, basking in the sight of the other hunched forward, mouth open and frowning in discomfort, and eyebrows furrowed in disgust.

"Y-you bastard! T-that's cold!" Mr. L snapped, closing his eyes and quietly whimpering.

"Of course it is. I just said it was iced water." Waluigi knelt down, "You said a second ago it'd do nothing."

"I-I wasn't ready for it! Quit your laughing!"

"But this is hilarious," Waluigi set the now empty cup on the table; "I bet you're very humiliated now, aren't you?"

"Humiliation? Ha! Humiliation is not in my dictionary!" Mr. L shivered, "You just can't-g-get your hands off of me!"

"Technically, my hands are not on you," Waluigi's fingers slid under the black overall straps, lifting them away from Mr. L's shoulders, "They are on your clothes."

"Which are on me, therefore you are touching me. Do I need to get any more technical with you?"

"Not really, but it's cute that you feel like you should. Aren't you cold?"

"Of course not, I'm as warm as can be." Mr. L leaned back, wincing as his shirt stuck to his back, making the cold feeling worse.

"Ah, you should be the next Pinocchio with how much you lie! You're shivering like crazy!" Waluigi snorted, hands flat against the curve of Mr. L's shoulders, "Didn't your parents ever teach you better?"

"Didn't your parents ever tell you to keep your hands off of people you don't know?" Mr. L shrugged gently, "Why are you looking at me like that? You're scaring me!"

Waluigi raised his eyebrows, "You remind me… of someone just as whiny as you are. Except he whines like a small child, you whine like a spoiled teenager."

Mr. L straightened his back, "I'm sure it's just coincidence, you frog."

"Hmm, maybe, maybe not." Waluigi leaned in, "Something tells me you'd kiss like him as well."

"Oh, now you kiss strangers? You, good sir, are terribly desperate!" Mr. L tried to lean away, the back of the chair preventing him from going any farther than he already was, "Stop! Stop!"

"Wah ha ha, ahh, no." Waluigi sneered, "I'm sure I know you."

"You don't know me!"

"Oui, I do~!"

"You fu-"

Waluigi harshly pressed his lips against Mr. L's, sliding a hand to the back of his head to keep him still. The shorter grunted, opening his mouth in an attempt to try to bite the taller's lip, only to feel an unwelcomed tongue hurriedly snake in and tauntingly slide against the roof of his mouth.

Mr. L's eyes screwed shut, prepared to smash his teeth around the muscle whenever his own started fighting back, twisting around and pushing, the taste of the other almost inducing harsh gags.

He finally decided to twist his head to the left, rewarding him with a small lick of saliva on his cheek, "You… you disgust me!" Mr. L kicked a leg, "Nasty, I can't stand you any longer! Untie me!"

"You really think I'm gonna do that?" Waluigi deadpanned, pressing his mouth to the skin of Mr. L's neck, "Especially when you're about to melt right here?"

"What do-aiuhhh…" With a slight nip at his skin, warm breath running against his jugular, the black-clad male instantly surrendered by relaxing and sighing in enjoyment.

The elder male chuckled, "Nice try, Mr. L, but next time you should try a little harder."

"Don't mock!" Mr. L jerked his entire body, scaring Waluigi into backing away, "Don't laugh! Don't do anything! You will not best me tonight, no sir!"

"Oh, alright, I guess I'll get you go," Waluigi slinked around behind the chair, calmly undoing the ropes that held the man in place and carelessly letting them fall onto the floor, "I'd like to say just one thing before you go."

"Ugh, what, you bastard?" Mr. L grunted, standing up and shaking at the new sudden rush of wind that hit the back of his still wet shirt, "I don't like being in these damp clothes!"

"Ah, nothing much, but…" Waluigi leaned over, whispering into his ear, "…je suis grand~…"

Mr. L whipped around, stumbling against the chair and tackling Waluigi to the floor.

Waluigi frowned at the sun, stinging at his eyes through the kitchen window. He raised his hand, letting the shadow cover his eyes and readjusted his nightshirt.

He was slightly disappointed, when he woke up this morning, finding the bed space next to him was empty. Then again, he was giddy, for when did he ever have intercourse with a man who tried to break into his house to supposedly kill him?

Or so, that was what the man said. Waluigi knew that character wasn't Mr. L, but it was fun to somewhat play along. It was more than likely one of the better nights of his life, he decided.

"Breaking and entering!" The front door slammed open, Waluigi jumped, hissing through his teeth, "Good morning, Wally~!"

"Muh." Waluigi replied, glaring at the gleeful Italian that skipped into the kitchen, "You look like you got some good sleep."

"I did~!" Luigi giggled, "I had a very good night's sleep!"

Waluigi smirked, "Before or after you broke into my house?"

Luigi's smile slowly faded away as he frowned, "Huh?"

"Last night, you wore some black ensemble and broke into my house…" Waluigi cocked his head in confusion, "…you don't remember that?"

Luigi shook his head, "No…I'm pretty sure I'd remember that."

"B-but you did it! You seriously did it!" Waluigi held his arms out at the chair, "You don't remember breaking in, getting caught, and being wrangled in here so I could tie you up to this chair? You don't remember you were pretending to be some Mr. L guy?"

"N-no, Wally, I don't…" Luigi's eyes widened, "…are you sure you didn't have a dream or something?"

"It wasn't a dream, it was real!" Waluigi snapped, "I know it because this morning this chair was still knocked over!"

"Waluigi, I don't remember anything like that happening at all." Luigi blinked, "Was that all that happened? He broke in and you tied him up?"

"W-well, I, er, thought that it was you and…coaxed him into…um…" Waluigi bit his lip.

"Go on." Luigi growled, "What did you do?"

"Had him…stay the night." Waluigi nodded, "Yes, he stayed the night, but this morning he was gone."

"When you say, 'stayed the night,' did that mean that he had tea with you?" Luigi narrowed his eyes.

Waluigi swallowed, "W-well, since I thought he was you I kinda… made him…ah, 'get nasty' with me."

"You had s-!"

"I thought he was you, I thought he was you, I thought he was you!" Waluigi held his hands up in defense, "He looked like you, he sounded like you, he acted like you do when you're mad!"

Luigi scoffed. "Lovely, Waluigi, lovely."

Waluigi sighed, "Luigi, I swear that I'd never-"

"I'd say with how you're starting to sleep more, you're getting some pretty crazy dreams, Wally." Luigi shrugged, "But if you think that it actually happened, I'll let you think that. I personally think that the chances of a man very similar to me breaking into your house and sleeping with you are very, very slim. Oh, and talk to your doctor about having 'very realistic dreams,' sometime soon."

Waluigi's eyes widened, "B-but, this chair-"

"You probably sleep walked or something," Luigi calmly slid past the other, "I don't know how else to explain this, but I seriously think you had a dream."

"B-but…" Waluigi's shoulders slumped, "…I swore it was…"

"Using your bathroom!" Luigi called, shutting the door behind him before he turned to grin at his reflection, chuckling at himself.

"You're so devious, Luigi." He whispered to himself.

**Oh, I'm so mean.

I've had a lot of Mr.L/Waluigi things in my mind for a long while now, and I just wrote this to help me get over my current "phase" of derpy fangirlyness. **