**Hello yes I am alive. Have a thing that was half-assedly written at 11:40 at night. **
"I was a good boy today."
"Like a lick of difference that'd make."
"It'll be a lick of difference from your mouth."
"I'd bite instead."
"Mm, a biter. I'm always willing to try new things."
"Like leaving?"
A flower pot was elbowed out of the way, rocking back and forth as it threatened to fall over the edge. In its place, Waluigi's elbows landed. He rested his chin in his hands, pursing his lips as he stared at the man before him.
"What's the matter, baby? Someone piss in your cereal? Mm, poor Weegee." He tilted his head to the side, batting his eyes as he did.
"Don't call me that." Luigi held up a spade, pointing it at the other.
He merely smirked, "Don't call you baby, or Weegee?"
"Either," the spade hit the table beside Waluigi's jointly elbow, "I also want you to leave."
"But I don't want to leave. I wanna enjoy some time with you," the lanky man dared to reach a hand towards Luigi's face, fingertips grazing the olive-tone cheek before said man flinched away, "I have nowhere else to go. I have nothing else to do."
The spade was whacked against Waluigi's hand, metal ringing from the impact of thin glove, skin, and bone. Tired eyes narrowed in response, lip curling at the pain.
"I do not appreciate these unwanted advances," Luigi tightened his grip on the spade handle, "I want you to back off."
Waluigi's frown turned into a devilish smile, the slight shrugging of his shoulders accompanied by a throaty chuckle, "I don't back off easily, baby."
"I said to stop calling me that." Luigi growled through his teeth, his body starting to jitter.
The elder scoffed, "Is it really that upsetting to have this much attention?"
"Upsetting? Upsetting?! Waluigi, all of this is unwanted, inappropriate!" The Italian stabbed his spade into the wooden planks of the table, pointing a finger at the man on the other side, "I do not approve of your brash comments, your sickening one-liners, your stupid innuendoes, I could care less about how well you can take something innocent and make it juvenile! And I loathe how you think I'll merely sleep with you! You think sending me pictures of yourself exposed will make me want you?! No!"
"You don't like how big I am?"
"I could care less about how 'big' you are, you miniature horse! I don't drool at the sight of an exposed member, unlike what your adult websites lead you to believe!"
Waluigi rolled his eyes, "Sure you don't."
"There you go, trying to convince yourself you're so good that practically anything you do will land you a one night stand! Go ahead! Keep saying that!"
The other male stood tall, looking down on his prey with the glare of an eagle.
"These past months have been hell! I have enough dealing with social pressures from my brother and my friends; I don't need anything else from you! Keep your erections and dirty thoughts to yourself. Keep your hands off me. Stay off my property. Don't. Do. This. Anymore." Luigi's torso rattled with rage, he inwardly kicked himself as the rest of his well thought and intelligent speech blew away in the storm inside his head.
Waluigi crossed his arms, tapping his fingers as he continued to glare, "And if I don't stop?"
The younger could feel the sting of rage bubbling through his chest, "My speech was nothing to you."
"No, it wasn't," Waluigi spat, "because words do absolutely nothing."
A slow, long inhale of oxygen was enough to help ease the red clouding Luigi's vision, stepping away as he exhaled just as slowly. He slowly turned and began walking away, "I'm not going to stoop as low as to physically hit you."
"Ah, you already did, with this spade." Waluigi reminded, pulling said object from the table and holding it up.
Luigi merely resumed his stroll to the door, "Well, then," he said as he turned the handle, "you can take that spade," he turned around as he backed into his house, "and shove it up your bony ass." He slammed the door with as much force as possible, making sure to set all the locks on the door before storming away into his living room.