Chapter 3: Bomb Shelter

"What did you call me?" An unnatural voice spoke.

"… Dr. Zoidberg."

"I don't know who this… Zoidberg is, but I am not him and I hold no doctorate."

The individual who had just saved Zack was indeed not the lovable Dr. Zoidberg of Futurama, but that was the first thing that came to mind when Zack looked at the alien.

A pair of bright green eyes stared back at the human. Two tendrils fell from its face. The thing's face had a weak lavender hue to it; so weak it was nearly gray. The bipedal being was coated in armor except for its head. Pristine black armor was highlighted by a pattern of radioactive green. The thing's shoulder armor was huge. Its right hand held a long, black rifle pointed loosely at the ground. Considering what it had done to the slaver, Zack figured it to be some futuristic energy weapon.

"Umm… sorry. Wrong person. Thanks for saving me." Zack saw movement in his peripheral vision and turned to see another of the creatures. Though they looked identical the second being had a different color scheme. The second one's eyes were a deep purple instead of green, and its skin was a stronger shade of lavender than the other's. Its armor was bronze-brown instead of black with green highlights.

"All enemies have been eliminated," the purple and brown one said.

Well since I'm not eliminated, I guess they don't consider me an enemy, Zack thought. It wasn't much but it was something.

"There was another slave with me. She ran off that way." Zack pointed. He had already decided he would be as helpful and cooperative with his rescuers as much as possible.

"Doesn't matter." A voice came from behind. Zack turned around to see a human woman.

"She looked like a tribal. She won't be of any use to us." The first thing Zack noticed was her bald head. The second was the fact that she had a robotic eye and a robotic arm.

"And you think this one will be?" A large, severely overweight human appeared. He was a mountain of a man, standing seven feet tall at least. His arms were gigantic… each one easily as thick as a normal man and were completely robotic. His legs were thin and skinny. Zack had no idea how the man could possibly keep his balance let alone move around. Like the woman he was also completely bald and had a robotic eye. Overall the visage of the large man made Zack slightly sick to his stomach.

"He doesn't look like much to me."

"No one does, next to you," the woman said.

A slender robot appeared, followed by a trio of what looked to be bipedal lizard people. The robot carried a staff that had large bright cyan balls of light at the ends. The lizard people had rifles.

Considering the aliens and people with robotic parts standing around, Zack would have been more surprised to see a bipedal robot that looked like it was designed for combat… or lizard people. There were so many surprises all piling on one after another that it was hard to register the fantastical grandeur of it all.

"Are we keeping him?" One of the lizard people asked. Zack saw that he wore either black armor that had dulled over time or silver armor that had darkened over time, he couldn't tell which. He also had a helmet and an extremely lengthy rifle.

"Yeah. I say we at least give him a chance," the bald woman said.

"Release him," the alien in black armor ordered.

The skinny robot stepped forward. "Raise up your hands, please."

Zack did as the robot requested. One of the glowing ends of the robot's staff shattered the manacles and they fell away from his hands before the melted metal had a chance to burn him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." The robot stepped back.

The alien in black armor took a step forward to gain Zack's attention. "I am Commander ZG-83, leader of the Last Remnant. State your name, affiliation, and intentions."

"Oh, give him a break, boss," the woman said, "it's obvious he's a foreigner. Just look at him!"

"Uh, my name is Zack Skellington. I have no affiliation. And I am a foreigner. I'm from another dimension… or something. I came through a glowing blue portal thing. I've only been here a few hours… I think."

"So, those slavers caught you right outta the gate, huh?" One of the bipedal lizards asked.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"He doesn't sound worth it to me," the huge man spoke.

"You guys wouldn't happen to know a way I could get back home?"

"Negative," Commander ZG-83 answered. "You may accompany us if you wish."

"What if I don't?"

"Then we leave you here and you fend for yourself," the lizard with the aging silver/black armor said.

"Ah… I'll come with you guys."

"Good choice," the woman smiled.

"Xandra," Commander ZG-83 spoke to the woman, "since you're so keen on keeping him, you will take care of him until we return to base."

"Fine by me."

The alien turned to Zack. "We are returning to our base. There could be many dangers on the way. You will be silent until given permission to speak."

Zack nodded. If he was supposed to be quiet he might as well start now. He figured the less he spoke the less chance he had of accidentally pissing these people (and robots) off. The last thing he needed was for them to abandon him to whatever else was out and lurking about in the junkyard.

They started their journey. Zack and his keeper, Xandra quickly fell to the back of the group. Zack was rather enamored with the little gang before him (the Last Remnant or whatever the alien had said): two squid-faced aliens with broad shoulder armor, three spindly lizard people, an equally spindly robot with a single horizontal bar for an eye, and two completely bald humans with robot parts. Zack was surprised that the larger members of the group were actually much quieter than the smaller ones. He figured that would have been reversed, but what did he know? Not much and he wasn't going to be getting any answers until they got back to their base.

Zack found it interesting that the current group he was with was made up mostly of non-humans, yet they were far nicer to him than the group of human slavers that had captured him earlier. He wondered how much species loyalty meant when it came to forming alliances in the Lost Land. Back on Earth, species loyalty meant nothing since humans only had other humans to kill. He wondered if all the different countries and cultures of Earth would band together if they were attacked by a foreign invading force of non-humans. It was a silly thought but it took his mind off more depressing matters.

They took paths that were more difficult to traverse than the slavers had. Zack had to wonder if the more official looking paths were prone to ambushes or if their base was just out of the way.

It was hard to gauge time without a watch or similar time-telling device but Zack knew the day was coming to a close when it had started to get dark. It was nearly pitch-black by the time they reached their destination. A few artificial lights helped make out the outline of some sort of bunker nestled amidst heaps of scrap.

ZG-83 input a pass code on the door's control panel and the massive metal doors slid up, allowing them access inside. Once they had all walked through the doors slowly shut again.

Zack heard the rhythmic sounds of mechanical movement and quickly guessed it to be legs. He looked past the others in front of him to see two massive robots approaching. One was red and the other was gold. They both had some sort of ranged weapon on one arm and a shiny metallic shield on the other. The two hulking robots came to a halt.

"Commander," the gold one spoke, "there is an unidentified individual in the base."

"Mark him as friendly."

"Yes sir."

"Don't worry about GR-12 and RR-17. They're sweethearts." Xandra noticed the look of worry on Zack's face when he saw the two large robots.

Zack merely nodded.

"You can talk now." Xandra was not amused with the human's continued silence.

"Yes, you may speak now. You may ask us questions if you wish. I'm sure you have many," ZG-83 said.

The group began to move to a different part of the bunker, though Xandra and ZG-83 and the spindly robot remained close to Zack, as if they were guarding him.

The lighting was dim and Zack thought the interior would have been better lit. He didn't know if it was because they had a limited source of power or they preferred the dark.

They emptied into a large, open room. It was filled with a few crates, tables and computer terminals. The different individuals went about doing different things, but stayed within earshot. Zack figured this place was some sort of rec room.

"Right…" Zack tried to collect his thoughts. There were so many things to ask and he wasn't sure where to start. "So, what is the Lost Land? I asked the other slave where I was and that was the answer I got before the slavers told us to shut up. I know nothing of this place besides its name. Where exactly am I?"

Xandra spoke: "The Lost Land is a dimension that exists outside normal time and space. It is connected to all times and dimensions but tied to none. One might describe it as a 'hub' dimension. I myself am not from the Lost Land. I came here through a portal."

"You haven't been able to find a way back?"

"That's the hard part. The tears between times and dimensions… they are random. You get dumped here and there's little chance of going back home to the dimension you came from."

The large human cut in on the explanation: "The portals often suck in people, sometimes even parts of entire worlds into the Lost Land. Very rarely do the portals ever spit people out into other dimensions. And with the possibility of infinite alternate dimensions, there is little chance of you turning to the one you are originally from. You will likely spend the rest of your life here. How long you live will be determined by your ability to fight."

"So is there some government-run organization for dimensionally-displaced individuals I need to report to, or something?"

All the non-robots started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Government? In the Lost Land? That's hilarious!" One of the lizards said.

"You won't find any government here. At least not on the scale you're thinking. The most we have here are a few powerful city-states connected by a string of treaties," Xandra explained through her laughs.

"Stop laughing!" ZG-83 boomed. "You think the Lazarus Concordance is a joke? They are our greatest enemy!"

They were quiet for a second.

"Sorry to say, Zack." Xandra put her hand on his shoulder. "But you won't find anyone who gives a shit about your problems more than us."

"Oh…" Zack decided to go over and sit on a couch he saw. A slightly moldy stench wafted into his nostrils as he sat down. He was quiet for a while and the others were content with letting him sit on his own.

It was all a bit much to take in. This wasn't a dream… he really was in another dimension. It was likely Zack would never return home. Thinking on it some more it actually wasn't all that bad of a situation. Zack didn't have much in the way of friends and he had few family members he regularly came in contact with. But he had just had all of his debts and past problems wiped clean. No more courts, no more being sued, no more student loan repayments… Zack hadn't felt this free in a long time. It was just too bad he hadn't wound up in a less violent dimension.

Xandra came over to sit next to him on the couch. "So, I know you have a lot to think about right now but there is something we should probably take care of soon."

"What's that?"

"Your hair."

"What about it?"

"It needs to come off."

"Why?" Zack thought that statement was a little odd.

"Helps avoid lice and fleas… and makes spotting ticks easier."

"You've got to be kidding."

"I'm not. You think I shaved my head for fun?"

"No. But… you guys have advanced weaponry I don't recognize… and robots! You don't have a more modern way of dealing with lice?"

"Nope. Technology is give and take around here. We take whatever the Lost Land happens to gives us." Xandra pulled on Zack's arm and he followed her. They left the rec room down a large hallway.

The walls were made of cerement and were a fading cream-white color. Black and yellow hazard stripes adorned the walls right where they met the ceiling. The floor was a dark gray metal.

"Does anyone make anything?"

"Some of the larger city-states do. But you've seen everyone in our little group. We have no factory. We end up having to use whatever gets sucked into the junkyard, mostly."

"I asked the other slave if the Lost Land was one giant junkyard, but she said it wasn't."

"It isn't."

"Shouldn't it be? I mean… if things keep getting sucked in from other dimensions, wouldn't the Lost Land be covered in stuff from other places?"

"Some areas of the Lost Land are more prone to the inter-dimensional pull than others. These areas would be the junkyards and they dot all across the Lost Land. Other places are more natural… but ultimately anything can get sucked into any part of the Lost Land. We're here."

"Huh?" They had reached a bathroom. She led him in and shut the door.

"Strip," she instructed.

"What, why?"

Xandra rolled her cybernetic eye in annoyance. "So you don't get a lot of tiny hairs embedded in your clothes. Duh."

"I'd rather keep my clothes on…"

"If it would make you feel better I could strip too…"

"Ah, you don't need to do that."

"You're not from some prudish dimension, are you?"

"Maybe."

"Look, you get a ton of hairs on your clothes and you're gonna get real itchy. Then we'd have to wash 'em and you won't have any clothes to wear where while we do that. You'll be without clothes for an even longer amount of time."

"Don't you guys have some spare clothes I could borrow?"

"You've seen our group, right? We don't have a lot of clothes that would fit a normal human male."

"Those lizard guys can't be too far off from my size."

"I doubt the slegs would share any of their armor with you. That leaves me as the closest thing for a match. And as you can see, I don't wear all that much." Zack had to admit she was right; she wore a tattered black tank top fastened down with a pair of suspenders. Her black cargo pants were tight. If all her clothes were like what she was currently wearing Zack had no chance of fitting into any of them.

"Fine. But I'm gonna need more clothes later. I can't spend the rest of my life with just a single pair of clothes."

"We'll find you some more later. But for right now, I need you to strip. Okay?"

Despite being severely uncomfortable about the whole situation, Zack removed his clothing as he had been told. Xandra had him sit on the toilet seat as she pulled a razor from the wall cabinet.

"Hold still or I might accidentally cut an ear off." Xandra switched on the razor and got to work. Zack had never had his head shaved before. It was a weird sensation, losing so much hair in a few swift strokes. It was like his head was an overgrown lawn and she was cutting it down with a lawnmower. All the while the cyborg hummed as she worked.

"Tilt, please." Xandra's free hand nudged the back of his head, prompting Zack to look downward as she sheared away the hair on the lower back of his head.

At various points Xandra urged Zack to tilt his head in various directions. He was lucky that her cold metal hand was gripping the razor while her natural one touched his head. Her skin was soft to the touch and very pleasant. That combined with the silky sound of her humming voice and Zack was starting to get turned on. This was definitely not something he wanted to deal with right now. He desperately tried to will his erection away.

"There, all done." Xandra cleaned the razor and put it away. She turned and looked down at his crotch. "Want some help with that?"

Zack tried to hide himself with his hands. "No thanks. Maybe another time?"

"Suit yourself," she shrugged. "Sooner or later you'll learn to loosen up and have some fun. Go ahead and take your shower. I'll be waiting for you outside the door." She left.

It was a mortifying experience; though it had all happened so fast Zack barely had any time to worry about it. Xandra was right though, there was hair everywhere. Some of it stuck to his skin and it was itchy as hell.

Zack was thrilled to discover that at least there was hot water and shampoo. Showering, Zack finally discovered how weird his head felt shaved. It wasn't exactly bad, just different from what he was used to. Zack knew he'd have to toughen up. He was probably going to have to deal with a lot of new and different things. Having his head shaved was probably one of the easier changes. If he couldn't even handle that then he was going to be in trouble.

When Zack finally got out of the shower and got dressed he found that Xandra was indeed waiting for him right outside the door to the bathroom.

"Took you long enough."

"It was hard getting all those hairs off. Um… sorry about the mess." The bathroom still had his hair all over the floor. "I don't see a broom anywhere."

"Let's go get one."

Zack followed the cyborg.

"So what is Z… eh… Z…" Zack couldn't remember the alien's name. Who could possibly remember a string of numbers and letters as someone's name?

"ZG-83?"

"Yeah. What is he, exactly?"

"He's a biobot."

"What's that?"

"A construct. A being born part organic and part machine."

"No way."

"No lie. From what I've heard his kind were born on assembly lines."

"Wow."

Xandra pulled a broom and dustpan from the closet and they return to the bathroom.

Zack started to sweep up as Xandra continued to explain. "The one in the brown armor is EV-97, he's an elite. ZG-83 is the one who runs things here though. Oh… I guess I haven't really introduced myself properly. My name is Xandra Ravid." She learned her shoulder up against the wall. "Don't meet too many new people around here, or at least ones that don't immediately start shooting at us."

"The Lost Land is really that bad?"

"More than you can possibly imagine."

"Terrific."

"That's how I knew you were a foreigner when I first saw you. You didn't try to attack us or flee."

"I think it would be stupid to attack the people that had just saved me."

"Oh, there's plenty of stupid people around here… in the Lost Land, not in this base. But you'll find that out soon enough." Zack wasn't quite sure what to think of Xandra's statement. He genuinely hoped the people of the Lost Land were stupid, that meant he had a better chance of surviving. Though Xandra and her group didn't seem like they were top of the heap, given their numbers. Maybe the Lost Land was sparsely populated? That certainly seemed like a real possibility if city-states were the largest governments in the land.

Zack finished cleaning and they started to walk down the hallway when Zack suddenly stopped. A robot walked down the hall opposite them, but Zack hadn't seen this one before. Its metal limbs were ridiculously thin, with the exception of its forearms. It had a weird triangular-shaped head that slanted upward. Its shoulder and chest armor was bright pink and the top metal casing of its head was purple.

"I thought you said I'd seen everyone in your group? I haven't seen that robot before."

"Oh, the bots? They don't count. They're just worker drones. They don't do any fighting unless we get into real trouble or the base is under attack."

"Oh."

They returned back to the rec room.

"So, I might as well show you around and help you meet everyone." Xandra grabbed his arm and took him over to the slender combat robot.

"This is CS-33. He's a cyborg."

"Hi," Zack said meekly, "I'm confused, isn't he a robot?"

"Negative. I am a cyborg."

"Maybe I have a different understanding of what a cyborg is. Isn't a cyborg a human with mechanical parts added?"

"Yeah," Xandra said, "like me."

"CS-33 looks like a full robot to me."

"I can explain that," CS-33 said in his heavy robotic accent, "my body is a robotic shell. My brain is human, however."

"That's a lotta robotics. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"That's something I can't fully answer myself. I have no recollection of my memory as a human."

"So you don't know who you are?"

"I don't know who I was before the alteration."

"So you have no memory of what is was like to be human? That sucks."

"Makes no difference to me. I can't remember so I can't miss it. I did have a purpose though. I used to be a soldier in the Campaigner's army."

"Who's the Campaigner?"

"This is gonna take a while," one of the slegs called over from across the room.

"Give him a break, it's his first day in a new dimension," Xandra shot back. "He's doing very well so far."

"We'll see how long that lasts," the large human said.

"Shut up, Zoran!"

Zack just stood silent as he listened to the members of the Last Remnant bicker with each other.

The cyborg CS-33 eventually got back to his explanation. "The Campaigner was a powerful cyborg and my master. He sought to unify the Lost Land but was ultimately defeated by those who resisted his rule. What was left of his armies became disorganized and confused. Many of us were hunted down and destroyed. Some of the less loyal soldiers deserted altogether."

"What did you do?" Zack asked.

"I followed the chain of command until there was no one left to take orders from. I am ineffective on my own so my priority was to search for allies. My original objectives of serving the Campaigner and his military could no longer be fulfilled. I was found and absorbed by this organization, the Last Remnant."

"What is the Last Remnant, exactly?" Zack asked.

The biobot ZG-83 stepped forward to answer. "The Last Remnant is a coalition of soldiers from several different fractured militaries that can no long operate on their own. CS-33, GR-12, and RR-17 belong to the Campaigner's army." ZG-83 motioned over to the two huge robots. "EV-97 and I belong to the Primagen. Silvac, Meakrous, and Venom over there used to serve Lord Tyrannus." He pointed over to the three slegs. "And of course Xandra Ravid and Zoran Zlatko are from alternate dimensions. Their armies may not be disbanded but they cannot reach them."

"So what do you guys do?"

"Survive, mostly," Xandra answered quickly.

"We seek to destroy our enemies," Commander ZG-83 answered. The biobot commander purposefully did not divulge the specifics of their enemies or what one of the group's ultimate goals was, he didn't trust the human enough for that yet.

"I don't have any enemies," Zack said.

"You already do. You just haven't met them yet," the biobot said.

Zack's stomach started to growl. He realized he hadn't had a meal in forever. There had just been too much going on, too much information flooding him to worry about eating.

"I'll go get you some food." Xandra took the hint and left. Zack felt uncomfortable now that she had gone. She seemed to be looking out for him and that had provided some measure of comfort.

Zack went back to the couch and sat down. He didn't really know what to say at the moment. Apparently he had enemies now. He hoped they weren't too numerous; the Last Remnant didn't exactly have a lot of members and he wasn't exactly a fighter himself.

One of the lizard people came over to the couch but didn't bother sitting down.

"What are you?" Zack asked before the bipedal lizard-man could speak.

"I am Silvac." He was spindly yet his voice was raspy and deep.

"Nice to meet you, Silvac." Zack stood up and offered to shake hands but Silvac didn't move to accept the greeting.

Silvac crossed his then arms over his armored chest instead. "I'm a sleg. What, you've never seen a sleg before?"

"No. Where I come from there are only humans."

"Only humans? What do you eat, each other?"

"No, we're not cannibals. There are animals. Humans are the only ones capable of speaking and critical thinking."

"How boring that must be. Must be very peaceful. You will find that this land is not."

"No, where I'm from the humans are split into factions and fight each other all the time."

"Perhaps you will not be so helpless here then."

"I dunno." Zack did know though. He didn't know how to fight; he was no soldier. If they expected him to fight then he was screwed. "So where am I, exactly?"

"Didn't we already go over this? Is your memory that weak?"

"I don't mean the Lost Land. I mean this building right here."

"This is some old bomb shelter that got sucked in from another dimension."

Xandra came back with a pot of soup, which she handed over to Zack. He sat back down on the couch and Xandra sat next to him. Lacking any utensils or bowel Zack had to drink straight from the pot. It tasted all right. He couldn't determine what the chunks of meat were but thought it best not to ask about that.

Silvac left to the other side of the room to congregate with the other two slegs.

With his soup soon finished Zack had one particular question he wanted to ask. "One thing's been bothering me. All you guys, the slavers, you're all speaking English. I would'a figured if I were transported into another dimension everyone wouldn't be speaking the same language."

"Dunno." Xandra shrugged. "But you're all speakin' Kavakian to me."

"I thought maybe there's some magical translation spell that's cast when you travel through the portal."

"No. You will find there are those that speak languages you cannot understand. But you're missing the point. I said I'm speaking Kavakian."

"So, I'm speaking English."

"Think about it."

There was a short silence as Zack thought it through. "… there're the same language?"

"Right."

"That's impossible! How the hell does that happen?"

"The Lost Land is connected to an infinite number of dimensions, which means an infinite number of possibilities. Possibilities such as two languages being completely the same."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"More than you would think. Perhaps the Lost Land likes sucking in people that can talk to each other, if for no other reason than to get them to fight more easily."

All of this sounded highly suspect to Zack. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. His whole face was still sore from the hit he took from the slaver earlier in the day. He really doubted any language barrier would have prevented any of the violence he had witnessed so far. Still, it was better than not being able to communicate with anyone. He would have really been screwed then.

"I'm tired and a little overwhelmed. Is there somewhere I could sleep?"

"Sure, follow me." Xandra got up.

"You're not taking him to the barracks, are you?" The sleg in the lavender clothes asked.

"No, Meakrous. Stop worrying so much." The pair left down a hallway.

"Where are you taking me?"

"A supply closet."

"You're kidding me."

"Nope, this one's empty though." Xandra opened a door and grabbed Zack's arm, forcing him in. "You get a sleeping bag. There's a bathroom down the hall to your right. Don't go wandering around unless you want trouble. The others don't quite trust you yet."

"Why wouldn't they? I'm not trying to cause trouble. And I'm sure you all believe me when I say I'm not from here. I don't have any weapons. What kind of threat could I possibly be?"

"You may not oppose us but you could still be a threat to us." Zack plopped down on his sleeping bag. He couldn't wait to hear the explanation for that remark. "If you're weak and slow us down then you're still a threat to our survival. I hope for your sake you have some skills that will prove useful. Either that or you better be a fast learner. Good night." Xandra shut the door.

Zack took off his shoes and socks and stuffed them in the corner. This is ridiculous. They're having me sleep in a damn closet? There's barely any room in here. It seemed unfair that he was stuck in the tiny space when there seemed to be so much room in the bomb shelter overall. He switched off the light and slipped into the sleeping bag. The cold emanating from the hard floor seeped up through the fabric and chilled his bones. Zack wished they had given him a pillow; he ended up trying to sleep on his side and used his hands to elevate his head from the ground.

The silence was not Zack's friend as worries began to creep into his mind regarding his situation. The Last Remnant didn't seem so bad at first; they did save him from a life of slavery. But now Zack worried about how he was going to prove himself useful to the group. He didn't really have any special skills… none they would find useful in a place like the Lost Land anyway. He main hope was that he could find some sort of niche in a non-combat oriented role. Maybe working alongside those worker bots they had. The list of possibilities on his future drifted into darkness as his exhaustion finally overcame his worrying and Zack fell asleep.

Author's Note: This chapter has the same name as one of the multiplayer maps from Turok: Rage Wars.

Biobots appeared in Turok: Rage Wars. They were the second skin of the Elite character.