Foreword: GOOD NEWS! and bad news.
Good News First! I'M ON TIME. I haven't been on time for a YEAR and this is AMAZING. Bad News now...because I'm on time, I won't be able to update in 10 days...what's in 10 days, you ask? Change of Heart's third birthday! This story's so old, [insert insult here]! But more seriously; I don't know very many stories that last three years without being completed. That's not only very lame of me, but very awesome of you guys. I do feel bad for the story that I'm not going to be updating on it's birthday this year...it feels like after three years, giving it a proper present is the least I could do. But updating on time was just TOO EXCITING. (Plus, Mika asked for it to be updated today. So y'all can yell at her :P)
Disclaimer: I own nothing...not the characters or their environment or anything awesome like that. And the last scene is inspired by something TK sort of asked for...a really long time ago. So if you recognize that, TK, congrats and sorry it's not precisely what you wanted.
"Dang," Wendy muttered under her breath. Bowser and Peach were walking away still... She twisted the binoculars to their maximum, and again could just barely make out her father's expression. Her absolute balance and focus was necessary to keep on Bowser and Peach. Although they were almost two miles away, the combination of Wendy's surprising patience, the view from the observatory room in VolcanoPalace, and the amazingly high definition on the binoculars kept the situation ideal.
"Wendy!" Bowser junior shrieked, tearing over towards her from the doorway. "What are you doing?" He bellowed.
"Spying on Mama Peach and Dad, duh." She answered coolly. "And you're apparently practicing your Morton impression. Like, I bet Dad could hear you storm in here."
"Woah, those are cool binokalars, Wendy! Can I see them?"
"No, Junior, you can't."
"Aww, come on!" Junior reached over and went to grab the binoculars, tripping over his toeclaw just enough to jostle Wendy.
"JUNIOR!" She roared, raising the binoculars with one hand and smacking her brother on the back of the head with the other. "Like, what the freaking underwhere were you thinking?" She mumbled obscenities as she tried to find Bowser and Peach again in the impossible mass of Darklandians.
Impatient, Junior popped up under the binoculars, staring at Wendy's hardened expression. "Can you see them anymore?"
"No, Junior, I can't! Like, get out of my face!"
"Awww, come on Wendy! We're partners! You gotta tell me when you see them."
"I would, idiot, if I did. But for some reason, I lost track of them. I WONDER WHY."
Junior threw a rather obnoxious raspberry at his sister, making her squeal and fall backwards. Pleased with the effect, he plucked the binoculars from her claws and set them against the window. After just a few seconds, he cried, "I found them, Wendy, I found them!"
"What? No you didn't!" Wendy screeched, keeping the binoculars in place as she pushed her brother away to look at his view. "You idiot. That's not them!"
"Of course it is, Wendy! It looks just like them!"
"And so does, like, everyone in the freaking town. Did you, like, even notice that woman you think is Mama Peach is, like, a GOOMBA."
"Nuh-uh!" Junior whined, grabbing the view. "Oh. You're right. Well, why is she dressed like Mama Peach? And why is that guy with her dressed like Papa?"
"It's, like, something Kamek did for Peach and Dad. So, like, nobody notices them. All I know is, like, it sure makes it hard to spy."
Junior loosened the binoculars and moved them around the faraway view. "Naw. It's like Where's Waldoom. Everybody's always wearing the same stripey shirts." Wendy started to retort, but Junior gave her a finger of patience. The tides had turned as the youngest koopaling began one of his favorite games.
Within a minute, he shouted, "There! Got them!"
Wendy did a double-take before snarling, "give me that!" She carefully took Junior's exact view and growled, but didn't say anything. The little brat was right. The way they walked through the street with Bowser giving Peach ever adoring gazes and gestures, Peach returning them with mildly flirty, mostly cautious responses was unmistakable. Even the best copycats that day had to offer couldn't duplicate their mannerisms so well.
"So…Wendy…" Junior began, pacing behind his sister. "What're we gonna do with this spying stuff? Is it gonna make us win?"
"Win what?" Wendy mumbled, following her father and Peach.
"Win what?" Junior shrieked, ready to attack his sister if she wasn't holding the dangerously fragile view. "The contest! The cupid contest!"
"Oh!" Wendy exclaimed. "I, like, totally forgot about that!...yeah, I guess we could, like, make this work to our advantage. Like, maybe mention things we find out or something…totally good thinking, Junior!"
Junior huffed. "Well, if this wasn't for that, then why did you wanna spy on Mama Peach and Papa?"
"Because, Junior," Wendy drawled, "it's cute. You won't understand until you're older. Youngest children are, like, always the slowest to, like, mature."
"Spying from a window a bazillion miles away on people you can't control or nothing is cute? I don't think that's weird cause I'm youngest. I think it's weird because I'm not a stinking alien girl."
Wendy bristled, dropping the binoculars and chasing after Junior. "You little scumbag! What's that supposed to mean!" He roared with laughter and took off down the staircase, his sister hot on his heels.
xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx
"I guess I'd better say farewell to you all," the darkness spectre sighed, holding Mario in its circular form. "Or perhaps you'd like to watch the show? Now I've got all the gems…all I need to do is pull them out and put them together and the worlds will be mine! Mine, to control in perfect darkness. Mine, to control in absolute tyranny. Mine, to control in-"
A whirr sounded and with a thudding click, light flooded the area. Luigi and Daisy had to shield their eyes, but soon adjusted and found Mario, fallen on the ground in the center of a spotlight, shining from the top of the inn. The spectre that had held him up was gone.
"Mario!" they both shouted in relief. Around the circumference of the spotlight, what remained of the darkness-smoke furled into the air and disappeared. The spectre seemed to be gone. Luigi grabbed Daisy's hand and they rushed to Mario, collecting the gems the spectre left behind.
"We-a now have all-a of the gems-a," Mario announced cheerfully. "Yippee!"
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Daisy growled, snatching them away from Mario. She smiled, and pulled the brothers into a hug. "I'm so glad that's over! ... But where did that spotlight come from?"
The daylight had returned to normal, and the spotlight whirred off. Luigi laughed, pointing up at it. "See for-a yourself, Daisy!"
The three of them looked up and saw Meredith herself, waving cheerily. "How are you guys this fine morning?"
"Relieved!" Daisy answered, showing off the gems to their new friend. "How did you know to do that, Mer?"
"I was watching you guys this whole time," she answered, leaning casually on the spotlight. "My mom won't be too happy I'm not inside, helping all the shell-shocked customers, but this is better in the long-run anyway."
"Oh, my dear!" a voice, that same voice of both high and low tones, laughed. Darkness gathered around Meredith, and it continued, "Better in the long-run for me, perhaps, but your life would have most likely been a lot sweeter, had you stayed out of this."
"Meredith!" Mario yelled, running to try and scale the wall. Too fast for him, the spectre was back from collecting itself in the shadows around them, and had its smokey hands around Meredith's neck.
"That's right, handsome. Climb up here and save your girlfriend…I've got a lovely ransom for her. One a smart boy like you can't possibly refuse. Her life for those eensy-weensy little gems."
Mario continued his climb, impressively leaping onto the spotlight bay and swinging the spotlight around with the same kick that turned it on. The bright light shone at the door leading into the inn, and with a squeal, Meredith fell down. The darkness was gone again.
"Where did he go?" Meredith yelled, getting back up on her feet. The land was covered in another blanket of darkness, and as they spun the spotlight in search of any apex at all, the light began to disappear.
"Not again…" Daisy muttered, rubbing her temple in distress. The land was dark again and there was nothing they could do to quell it. Apparently, they were a lot more stupid than they thought. Their foe seemed both immortal and unstoppable. And they seemed doomed to blindness until he won.
"What is it, princess?" the darkness' familiar voice questioned. "Are you afraid of the dark? Well…that's pretty smart. I'm a pretty scary thing, if I say so myself. But still. You need a bit more perspective."
The area instantly lit up, and Luigi screamed as Daisy's shadow pounced to life, swallowing her whole in another of the shadow's icy grips.
"You have the gems, princess! And I have you! Would you rather have me kill you so I can take them with ease, or just take them out of that lovely purse of yours?"
"Daisy! Don't-a do it!"
"Don't do what Luigi?" Daisy strained, struggling in the spectre's grip. "What am I not supposed to do?"
"Well, maybe my opinion isn't the one you're looking for," the darkness giggled, "but I think you should hand over your gems. Handsome over there probably agrees…I might even let you both live!"
"Daisy!" Luigi began to screech, running underneath where the floated. "I will-a save you!"
"You?" The spectre laughed. "How are you going to defeat me, buddy? Shine a pretty light at me? I'll just turn it off. Throw a fireball at me? That might work…if it wouldn't catch your little princess on fire, too. Oh, no…" It ran a finger of smokey darkness around Daisy's face. "Her only chance at life is if she gives me the gems."
"You can't-a kill her!" Luigi shouted, pleading in absolute fear.
"Aw, listen to that, sweetie. Your man really likes you, doesn't he? Do you think he'll like you as much if you're…pulverized? Smothered? Choked? I guess I could let you pick your style of death…I've got you in my grip now, and unless you're of use to me, I don't intend on letting you go."
"I don't even have them all," Daisy strained again. "You…have…three. In my purse. I…can't reach it. But you…you can."
With the spectre's laugh, shivers ran up and down everyone's spines. "I've got you in my grip so tight you aren't of any use. How ironic." The spectre pulled a hand of darkness out of itself and fished in her purse itself. "I guess that was a rather empty threat of mine, wasn't it? Especially since you do only have three. How…unfortunate. You disappoint me, princess. I don't have any further need of you. I guess you are going to die now…and you were so honest!"
"Wait!" Luigi shrieked, sweat pooling around his neck. He grabbed his own hands, looking at the unstained, white gloves. "I have-a the other gem."
xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx
"Bowser, look at that!" Peach grabbed Bowser's arm, swinging him around for a better view of the hotdog stand. "It's run by a dragon! And he's the one cooking the hotdogs…is that sanitary? Oh, look over there!" She swung him again, this time towards a T-shirt vendor. "That T-shirt guy's stand is huge! He has more sizes than he has t-shirts…one for every species in every size, I bet! Ohh, Bowser! Look over here!" She swung him again, but this time, Bowser stood still. Not expecting Bowser to not follow her tug, Peach squealed a bit as she lost her own balance.
"Peach, I have seen all this stuff before," Bowser reminded her with a smirk. "Although it is pretty adorable to watch you be so excited about it."
"Well," Peach said, hiding her blush as she fixed her disheveled hair, "it's nothing like back home. I mean…I live in Toad Town. There are about four species…I mean races…in the entire town. I make up one entire subgroup."
Bowser chuckled, leading Peach down the street. "That's true. And you can be as excited as you want, Peach. Just as long as you stop trying to give me whiplash!"
Peach giggled. "I'm sure I'm not that much of pain."
"No, not really," Bowser agreed, sighing at the understatement. "But, you know…if you want to kiss it better…" He grinned and pointed at his neck.
Peach rolled her eyes, changing the subject, but she was still smiling. "Do you have anything specific planned?"
"Just lunch," Bowser answered. "I'd really like you to see Downtown Darklands from the North Tower. Oh, and we should probably stop by Kamek's contest thing, too."
"Alright…lunch is at 11:30, you said? What time is it now?"
Bowser looked over his shoulder and over the teeming crowd. The huge clocktower loomed in the distance, the third largest structure in the town. Its huge hands read clearly. "Uh…it's quarter to ten. You have an idea of what to do?"
"Hmm…." Peach looked around, glancing from store to store, and she caught sight of one particularly pink storefront just a few doors down. "What about that?" She asked, pointing at the bubble-gum store amidst all the dark, classic koopa hues.
Bowser groaned, "Are you sure you don't want to look at another street?"
"Why not that one?" Peach asked, grinning up at Bowser mischievously.
"It's a beauty salon…do-it-yourself kind of thing. Very popular because it's cheaper than having a stylist do it, and some people just go here instead of doing their hair in their houses. But it's so…pink. And I'm pretty sure they don't like me there."
"Bowser, I thought you said they like you everywhere?"
"They do," he muttered, shifting his weight uneasily from one foot to the next. "But I've been told that the women there like talking…about us."
Peach looked blankly at Bowser. "What about us?"
Bowser tugged at his shell, clearly feeling awkward. "Well…they're a bunch of bored, nothing-better-to-do-but-gossip ladies who sit around and do each other's hair in a store practically dedicated to you. And all they do at home is watch soap operas. What do you think they talk about?"
Peach seemed honestly unaware as she continued, "Why you kidnap me?"
Bowser growled. He didn't like the ladies or talking about them to Peach, it seemed. "No…they talk about us…roman-…uh, actually not roma-…well, I guess they really just they talk about how I don't deserve you."
"Wait, what?" Peach raised an eyebrow, searching Bowser's face for a bluff. "I thought everyone liked you? And if these gossipy ladies like talking about us as…uh…an 'us', then why wouldn't they think you deserve me? That's so…not normal for your people."
"Tell me about it," Bowser groaned, looking over at the pink store. As they spoke, a Peach look-alike giggled her way through its doors and another out. "But, I can't tear it down because they're not doing anything REALLY illegal. None of the employees are the gossipy ones…just the people who go there and hang out. It's like they choose that place to harbor each other and feed each other's treasonous thoughts or something."
"Well, it is a salon…" Peach mentioned, giggling.
"Why is that important?" Bowser asked, his eyes blank.
Peach waved her hand away. "Nothing, nothing…it's a history joke. Anyway, would you tear it down even if it was the employees?"
"Of course," Bowser snarled, "they have no right to talk about their king like some kind of 'over-grown toddler' or 'rag-doll on rampage'. They need civic pride and RESPECT."
"What about freedom of speech?"
"What's that supposed to be any good for?" Bowser asked, giving a hint of a smile. "Sure, it works for you guys. But these people actually do need a leash sometimes, Peach. I'm not sure you realize how much my empire sucked a few generations ago…I'll show you later today."
"After lunch?" Peach asked, innocently.
"Well yeah, sure."
"Good! So, until lunch, we have no plans…right?" Bowser nodded in reply, searching Peach's growingly mischievous expression. "Then we have plenty of time for conquering your fears."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bowser asked frantically, staring down at Peach's firm grip on his arm.
"Time to get a make-over, I think!"
Peach leading, the two paraded into the beauty salon. The bell tinkled, but no one else seemed to notice their entry.
The salon was quite unlike any building Peach had seen. Just like at home, it was completely done-up in shades of pink and greens and very effeminate. But unlike everything she had at home, Bowser's low relief face seemed to dominate every surface. Strangely, his face was still painted those garish colors.
Bower had his own eyes shut, as if he couldn't stand all the bubble-gum pink. Yet, he understood exactly what Peach was staring at. "I owned the building this used to be. It was a government disguise facility…and it's against the law to destroy any government imagery. Even if the building is repurposed…so they just tried to paint over it."
Peach laughed. "Have you realized how ridiculous some of your laws are yet, Bowser?"
Interrupting them, a worker explained the process of the company to Peach and Bowser. But even with all her pleading, Peach couldn't convince Bowser to put his head in the wash-basin. Instead, he marched over to the waiting room where he promptly shut his eyes again. "Call me over when you're done washing your perfectly clean hair," he grumped. Peach just chuckled, letting the high-pressure water douse her hair through.
From the next chair over, one of the ladies said, "How'd you convince him to come?" She and Peach both had their eyes shut, enjoying the cascade of water. "Your boyfriend doesn't seem like the sit-in-the-waiting-room type."
"He's not my boyfriend," Peach answered immediately. "I'm a…friend. I guess. And I've never seen the town, so he's showing me around."
"Are you here for the look-alike contest?" another lady on Peach's other side asked.
"Um…yeah." Peach lied, opening one eye to see if anyone was suspicious around her. Luckily, the koopa on her left and the mouser on her right both seemed too relaxed to notice Peach's lack of lying skills.
"I don't really understand this contest," the mouser complained. "I mean, why drag Princess Peach into it? I get that the big-headed koopa wanted to see people parade around like him, but it's not like Princess Peach can say she wants the same."
"Are you sure Bowser actually wanted the contests?" Peach asked, pleased she knew something these ladies didn't.
The koopa snorted. "Maybe he didn't arrange them, but I'm sure he likes them." Her water switched to a shampooing downpour. "We've got enough hero-worshippers in our empire that I guess I wouldn't honestly be surprised if he didn't arrange them."
"That's not really the point," The mouser drawled, changing her own water manually. "If Bowser didn't like them, he could snap his fingers and everyone would drop dead for him. But Peach has no choice. Don't you feel a little ashamed, representing her in something she has no opinion in?"
"Um…" Peach began, awkwardly without any idea how to stand up for something she wasn't even doing. "Well, my friend wanted to do it. And everyone says I look like her…so…it seemed…fun?"
"No harm in that," The mouser added, switching Peach's water off for her. Apparently, people in this salon liked moving together. "Except for diminishing Princess Peach's very honor," she said with an added sneer.
"I don't see…how that would diminish Peach's honor. If I looked like her."
"Everything you do," the koopa dramatically exclaimed, waving her hands above her head, "everything you do reflects who you are. And if you look like Peach, then everything you do reflects her."
"And no one is good enough to successfully impersonate her," the mouser agreed.
"But wouldn't everyone know it's not really Peach? I mean…there are a lot of people who dressed up like her. It's not like she's…actually…here." Peach stuttered, almost feeling used to this kind of third-person talk.
"Whatever you say," the mouser drawled, the words sucked right out of her as the faucet poured more warm water, giving the final, luxurious rinse. The three all sat in silence, a bit too preoccupied to speak.
Once their waters shut off, this time closer to simultaneously, the two experienced ladies led Peach to the Curling Catalogue, to pick out their automatic curl set up. Peach flipped through the book, bothered. "Um…I usually just do my hair myself…do I have to pick curls?"
The koopa stared at Peach. "No. But I think they have a 'Peach' setting…why don't you just use that?"
"Or do you think doing it yourself is more a nod to her honor? Princess Peach doesn't have a machine for her hair."
"You really don't like this competition…"
Settling on a perm for her fur, the mouser answered, "No, I don't. I guess I'm okay with a Bowser competition…he'd love it anyway. And a Peach one might be fine by itself. But combined…?"
Peach gave an exasperated sigh. "If you think the contests are fine separately, what's the problem with doing them together?"
"Just the assumption that people should have Bowser look-alikes paired with Peach look-alikes. They aren't even together…they won't ever be together…but everyone in this empire plays into Bowser's sick little dreams."
"Amen, sister!" The koopa giggled. She had picked a wavy setting for her own hair. "I'll never understand why Bowser thinks he deserves Peach."
"It's not his fault," Peach said, "I don't think he wants to love Peach. I think it just…happened." She ran a comb through her hair with the hairdryer going, styling it like she did everyday. She looked over at Bowser, growling incoherencies to himself. He couldn't seem to hear anyone and seemed very bored. "I'm pretty sure Princess Peach could be horrible to him and he'd still be in love."
"It's so pathetic," the koopa guffawed. "Everyone thinks our king is oh-so amazing and powerful, but he can't even keep himself from slobbering over Peach. AND he thinks she should love him back? What an idiot."
"Have you ever been in love?" Peach asked, a bit harsher than she meant.
"I've been married for fifteen years, thank you very much!" the koopa retorted.
"Okay, then. Would you be upset if your husband didn't love you, and you were crazy about him? Wouldn't you want him to love you back?"
"If he didn't love her," the mouser replied for her friend, "she might actually be able to move on with her life. Marry that movie star you like, Stacy!"
Stacy, the koopa, laughed. "Well, sure. But then I'd also have to deal with the divorce papers…custody is really messy now a days."
The two of them giggled, oblivious to Peach, pulling out a tangle harder than she meant to. "I certainly hope you're joking…because love is awfully hard to come by lately. When you find someone who actually cares about you the way some people do, you've got to hold on to that. And Bowser is really, truly, in love. He can't help it, he can't fight it. So he's just doing everything he can to make himself happy…sure he's awfully bad at it, and probably has the worst ideas for how to get a girl that exist, but it's because he cares about m-Peach."
The two were silenced for a bit. Clearly, they weren't used to people unfamiliar with their sense of humor or choice of conversation. "So…do you think she should love him?" the mouser quietly asked.
Peach sighed. "I think she….I think…she…I think she needs to understand herself before she dares try to fall in love at all."
The koopa looked over in surprise. "So, you don't think she loves Mario?"
Peach blinked, looking at her feet. Her hair was almost done because; unlike these ladies, she didn't need the assistance of the machines, and the blow-dryer she was using was much better quality than the one at home. "No, I don't think she does. At least, not the way Bowser loves her." She looked at her own reflection, confused and innocent. "Then again, that love is so impossibly rare, maybe she shouldn't compare herself to that. It's unfair to everyone. To Mario, to Bowser, to me…"
Stacy leaned back in her chair around Peach's back. She twirled her finger in a 'coo-coo' motion towards her friend, who sternly nodded. They snapped back up, and the mouser looked at Peach, surprised. "How did you do that?"
"What?" Peach asked, blinking innocently.
"You look exactly like Princess Peach! And that was so fast!"
Peach blushed, tossing her hair in the mirror. "Well…I do it like this a lot. Practice."
The mouser let out a low whistle. "You really like this competition, don't you?"
Peach giggled. "No, I just really like this hair-do." She got out of her chair, looking over at Bowser. He was still sitting in his corner, now occupying himself with the manliest magazine there.
She skipped over to him and pulled the magazine there. "Hi, Peach," he grumbled, unable to match her smirk. "You look gorgeous. Exactly the same as you did before we came in, but gorgeous."
She laughed, lifting him up. "Thanks. I've got an idea for your turn, now." Peach began to pull him towards the Curling Catalogue, and his face paled.
"Peach…don't make me go over there! I already think I lost three years worth of professional football watching just sitting over there in the pink. Don't make me any girlier!"
She laughed, setting him down. "No, no. I have just the idea." Upset, he sat down in her old seat- right between the mouser and the koopa. Both looked at the pair with great amusement and confusion. Peach held Bowser's claw (most likely to keep him in place) with one hand, and flipped through the catalogue with the other. "Here!"
The page Peach had landed on didn't look promising. It was at least in the 'Men' section, but with all the curls and bows strewn through the model's long hair, it was hard to tell. "Um…Peach…I love you, but you're really pushing it."
Stacy snorted, grumbling something about 'typical Bowser- wannabe' and 'overdoing it as always'. Ignoring her, Peach laughed. "No, not that page. The picture next to it!"
This image was a lot better, Bowser agreed. But the toad with long, flowing hair didn't seem quite manly enough to come up to scruff with the Great Koopa King. "Are you sure, Peach? Do I have to?"
"Well, you don't have to," Peach replied, her eyes twinkling, "but I think it would be awesome. It'll take two minutes- I promise."
The mouser peered over, almost falling out of her chair, to see the chosen setting. "Actually," she agreed, "I think your friend is right, buddy. That might look good. Maybe even too handsome for your stupid Bowser contest."
"What?" Bowser roared, struggling not to stand up. "You think that idiot model is more handsome than Bowser? This flippy little Toad?" Sparks were almost at Bowser's tongue tip, and he thrust his claw down on the page. "Give me that hairdo, Peach! I'll show these ladies 'handsome'."
They pressed the button and the overhead curling system settled itself over Bowser's head. He looked pretty cute, like an overgrown toddler trying to prove something with a paradox. Peach giggled, sitting herself down on the hairstylist bench across from the curling stations.
The ladies on Bowser's sides leaned back again, Stacy muttering, "absolutely crazy. Both of them."
The mouser nodded, but glanced at Bowser's determined snarl and Peach's bemused smile. "But they're kinda cute together. I mean, if they weren't pretending to be Bowser and Peach…I'd say they'd make a great couple."
"I guess," Stacy agreed, looking over at them both. "They've definitely got something there. At least something a lot more than Bowser and Peach ever will."
Author's Note: Happy Early Birthday, CoH! I'm probably going to force myself to do something in its honor on the tenth...maybe I'll do some "research" and play Nintendo...haven't done that for awhile! ;)
Oh, and by the way- the reason this was on time was because I was able to write next chapter ridiculously fast. Which is a good thing, I promise! I rather like next chapter. :) The segments are bigger, but the pacing and interactions are more along the lines of what I've always wanted, thanks to me doing some planning that I should have done waaaaay back before I ever started writing. Hopefully you guys are as excited for the slight change as I am!
Here's to the next chapters on time! And Here's to CoH's birthday!
-Razzi