Foreword: So, I'm a little later than I've been the last two updates, so I'm sorry. But! Today I wrote a little segment for 34 and realized I not only FINISHED 34...I have three honkin' pages for 35 done, too! Good because UPDATE SOON?, but bad because Friday is going on longer than I expected.

Like I warned you last time, this chapter is probably either going to be awesome or awful. I liked writing it and I like reading it, but I'm a fake-history nerd.

It also has two scenes I want to point out- one, with the random children, I've been planning since before Peach even showed up at the Darklands. Not quite placed where it is, and they weren't quite as into each other (that happened on its own), but basically the same. Also, ShadowKoopa's request is in here, placed lovingly in the middle.

Disclaimer: I own some stuff, but don't like them enough that I feel like claiming. And Nintendo owns the goodies.

"I had no idea a clock could be so loud!"

"You've said that about twenty times by now, Peach. I know the noon bells are loud," Bowser reminded her, laughing. They were already a good five-minute walk away from North Tower after they'd finished lunch, on there way to nowhere exactly, but Peach was still speaking louder than necessary.

"I know…but wow! We had those crazy ear-plugs in and everything!"

Bowser laughed, pulling her close to his one side. "It's a good thing, too. If your pretty ears couldn't hear my sexy voice, we'd both be in trouble." They laughed as they continued their way. Bowser pointed up at a cross sign, which read under the street name, 'Growling Garden Three Blocks'. "Remember how I promised to show you some history after lunch? We can go there!"

"A garden?" Peach breathed, clearly a bit surprised. "I mean, no offense, but Bowser; how can anything grow in this…environment?"

"Well, it's not exactly a garden of roses, Peach…" Bowser muttered. "I don't want you to be disappointed…"

"I'm sure it'll be lovely," Peach assured him. "Let's go!"

They walked the three blocks relatively quickly, joking and laughing about their conversations from lunch, the stores and businesses around them, and anything else that came to mind. When they were just half a block away, the garden was finally visible.

The gate was rod-iron, scraping the dirty sky with its spikes. Thorny vines crawled around the fence and gate, making it look far less welcoming than any public garden Peach had ever seen. If it hadn't been broad daylight in a busy street, the garden would have looked like something out of a horror film. Even with the children visibly laughing and playing inside, Peach wasn't sure she really wanted to go in.

"You sure this is a safe garden, Bowser?"

Bowser laughed in response, gripping Peach tightly from the side. "Besides my palace, it's probably the safest place in the city. Obviously we don't have the same 'standards' for aesthetics here in the Darklands as you're used to. So when the government people were planning the Growling Gardens, they wanted them to focus on being a safe haven for families and citizens. It's really big. Really, really big."

As they entered the garden, it suddenly seemed a lot prettier than it had before. True, the foliage was mostly dark green and putrid shades of normally lovely colors, but it had a unique life to it. Every so often, Peach could see a Piranha Plant with a muzzle, waving its leaves at passerby's. The main path forked into five different directions, each seeming completely unique.

There were trees all around them, and the light seemed to make them almost seem normal. Every so often, peach could see a flashing red-light from the security cameras all around them, but the lights seemed to glitter like fresh berries, not like the peering eyes of the Darklandian government. Peach could actually hear birds singing on the branches. Children were laughing, and there was a faint musical performance off in one direction. "Where are we going first?" She asked, clearly much more at ease.

"To the history ring!" Bowser announced, pointing dramatically down one of the paths. He dropped his claw and grinned at Peach, reminding him of a little kid playing Explorer. "I haven't been here for years, but I'd remember it like the back of my claw. There's a zoo at the far end, a performance stage near the Big Lake in the middle, a cemetery over in one of the corners, and a bubbling lava pond just a bit away from the History Ring. Over there, there's a goomba who makes the best gyros I've ever had. He's been doing it for longer than anyone can remember. And there's a cave behind the waterfall system that takes you all the way to the insides of the Museum. Plus, at nighttime, you can see the wild deer run around like lunatics."

Peach beamed. "I didn't realize you liked parks so much! How long are we going to spend here?"

Bowser quickly bit his lip. Then, he overdramatically shrugged. "I don't care. It's just a bunch of flowers…it's not like I actually like the garden. Let's just get that whole History Ring thing over with, and then figure it out."

"Sounds good," Peach said with a smirk, continuing down the path.

"As long as we get some gyros, too."

Walking towards the history ring was oddly peaceful. The garden, in all its eerie qualities, was still rather beautiful. And Bowser seemed so at peace and serene…he seemed to represent all of the Darklands at the moment. Obviously still his intimidating self, like the sounds of the cars and distant screams, but hidden by this mask of familiarity and peace.

And when Peach closed her eyes and held on tight to his hand, it was like all her preconceived notions were gone; nothing existed but what she felt right then.

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

Right as his brown-spotted toadcar pulled up at the castle, Toadsworth was met with three frantic toads. "What seems to be wrong, sah?" He pulled the key out of the car, looking from toad to toad.

"That's what we came to ask you, Mist Toadsworth, Sir!"

"I don't understand. Why would something be wrong? I didn't call in at all…"

"Well," the second toad answered, sheepishly, "that's why we thought something was wrong. You see, sir, you're five hours later than usual."

"And?" Toadsworth blinked innocently. "Peach isn't here, so my attendance isn't as needed, if I understand protocol correctly."

"You do!" The third toad chirped. She was the shortest of the three, and the newest of all the rookies. "You understand protocol the very best out of everyone ever!"

Toadsworth beamed at the littlest toad, tapping her mushroom cap fondly. "What's your name, poppet?"

"Dane T," she answered giddily.

"And Miss Dane, would you mind fillin' me in on why these gents seem to think something is the matter?"

"Well, you haven't been late for years. And Peach isn't here. And usually you're so scared when Peach isn't here…so they expected you to be very early and freaking out about everything."

"Let me let you three chaps in on a little secret, eh?" He began walking towards the castle, the three toads eagerly trailing. "Sobriety is wonderful for the ole' think-tank. Absolutely spiffing. Also, once you realize there isn't a blooming thing you can do to help or hurt a matter, it all seems to be as minor as the sugar in your tea." He swung his cane from side to side, humming a jolly little tune as the toads tore after him, at a loss of what to ask.

"Toadsworth!" From the castle, the hopping figure of Toadette was just visible.

"Blimey," Toadsworth muttered, squinting to better make the young toad out. "What's she still doing here?"

"You weren't here, sir," the second toad explained. "She was filling your position."

"Of what? Eating cheese and crackers? I don't have a bloomin' job without Peach here, and the meetings 'ave all been postponed until she returns from Grand Canal!"

Toadette tore out to the path, meeting Toadsworth and the three rookies just before the castle bridge. "You're so late, Toadsworth!"

"So I've been told, little lass," he chuckled. "What seems to be the matter, old gel?"

"Remember that meeting you spaced out in? With Shor T. and the Darklands relation team?"

Toadsworth sighed, waving the rookies off and following Toadette into the castle. "Yes, yes. What about it?"

"Well, I was thinking, and what if Peach does like Bowser all of a sudden?"

The old toad swung around to face his friend, eyes bugging. "What could ever give you that idea? Why the bloody underwhere would she like him?"

"Well, I don't know! But it's possible. I mean, he likes her an awful lot-"

"Kidnapping isn't exactly courtship, Toadette!"

"-and he's being a lot nicer to the kingdom in general, too. What if we never set up a system of relations and alliances, and suddenly she's crazy about him!"

"Crazy about him? You're the only crazy thing right now, love! Bless my soul; I've got to sit down. Peach isn't going to ever be friends with the bally monster, and you think she's going to love him?"

"I'm just saying we need to keep our options open. Peach isn't as set in stone as you guys think she is."

"Actually, dearie, yes she is. In case you didn't know, next week she's going to Grand Canal. The most romantic city in the world, by crumpets. With Mario. Her boyfriend. And I don't think it's very smart to say she's going to get whisked off her feet by some brute in time to stop the train of emotions that waits for them there."

"Toadsworth," Toadette said sheepishly, "you don't really believe all that, do you? I mean…Peach is a rolling stone. She's not tied to Mario, exactly."

"Yes she is! She's head over blooming heels tied to Mario! By golly, you can be so daft sometimes, poppet."

"Well then, Mario isn't tied to her!" She retorted, a little sharper than intended. "They're not guaranteed."

"What do you mean 'Mario isn't tied to her'? He loves her as much as she loves him!"

"No, no, I don't think so." Toadette began fiddling with her pigtails, avoiding eye-contact. "I mean, he doesn't just save Peach. There are other girls. And he's always talking to people…and sometimes not talking to Peach…and…stuff."

Toadsworth blinked. "Other girls? Other girls like who, exactly?"

Toadette began to blush, messing with her hair faster and faster. "Uh…there's that goomba girl. And that one, with the dress and the monkey. And that ghost-lady…and…some other ones. Some nicer ones."

Brushing his hand through the air as if to dismiss all possibilities, Toadsworth explained, "That goomba girl was naught but a fan of his. And Paulina lives in Humanha'en, or whatever it's called. Brookland, I think. And Vivian isn't going to bother him any longer, love. So unless you have other examples, I have places to go."

"I have other examples!" Toadette chirped, "You just have to let Peach move on with her life!"

"Let Peach move on with her life by letting Mario flirt with other women? I don't see your logic, dearie…"

"I just don't think Mario and Peach are meant for each other, that's all! And maybe Peach shouldn't let Mario stand in the way of her relationships. And once Peach has a relationship, Mario can have one! And then everyone can be happy."

"Toadette…who is Mario supposed to have a relationship with?"

"Well…" she mumbled, "Iwathinymaeeme".

"Wot?"

"Iwathinymaeeme…" she repeated, her face flushing red.

"Love, I can't hear a word you're saying."

"Iwathinkinmayeeme!" she slurred a bit louder.

"Toadette, you're going to have to speak up. I'm old, and-"

"ME!" She hollered, her pigtails swinging. Immediately, she squeaked and slapped her hands over her mouth.

All the old toad could do was gape. His eye twitched a bit, and he suddenly broke into laughter. "It's not funny!" Toadette shrieked, looking around nervously to see how much attention they were getting.

"Of course it is!" Toadsworth laughed, "You think you're suitable…suitable for…for Mario!" He doubled over, hooting with laughter.

"Toadsworth, don't! I have just as much a chance as anyone."

Her comment only made his laughter worse, which just made her more frustrated. "I'm sorry, love…but you don't…not really. You don't…under…understand…one bit!"

"I understand that he's wonderful! And that he learns lots of good things from me! And that he trusts me. We could work just fine together!"

"You…and Mario…is this what the…the 'Darklands Relation team' business is all about?" He laughed some more, wiping tears from his eyes. "Getting Peach to love Bowser? So that you can have Mario?"

"It's a perfectly good idea!" Toadette defended. "We need a relation team anyway…and if she falls in love, Bowser's already crazy about her. So it would save everybody time!"

Toadsworth hooted with laughter all over again, holding onto his cane for dear life. When he finally calmed down a bit, he looked Toadette in the eyes. "Remind me to…to come late…more often."

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

Bowser and Peach eventually got to the history ring, though they had been distracted by a man selling singing hats, a rock outcropping that seemed to beg for a quick game of tag, and a knoll of particularly springy grass that was perfect for rolling around in.

The history ring reminded Peach a bit more of her first impression of the garden. It seemed a bit more unkempt, with vines and foliage growing heedlessly around the statue bases.

Ten statues of past and present Koopa Kings formed the history ring, each a bit newer than the one next to it. Bowser pointed to the first one, a koopa that looked like him, but much lankier with a flowing beard and mane.

"This guy was my great-great-great grandfather. He was the king who decided to rebuild and save the garden. It was going to be torn down, but his daughters liked it, so he marked it as a royal property. The statue was put up to commemorate that, and he was supposed to be alone. But his son," Bowser snarled as he adjusted his pointing claw over one statue to the larger and clearly more pompous statue, "his son wanted his statue up, too."

Peach raised an eyebrow, looking from the pompous statue with chinks knocked out from generations of disrespect, to Bowser. "You can't possibly say he's any worse than you are, Bowser. I think the light posts in this city all have your face on them."

"But I'm a good guy!" Bowser explained. He stopped on his words and chuckled. "Well, naw, I'm a horrible, monstrous, villainous jerk. But my people think I'm a good guy. Nobody liked Charleer but himself. They say he started the decline of the kingdom."

If Charleer's statue was vandalized through the years, it was nothing compared to the statue on his side. This koopa, a very short built king with absolutely no hair anywhere but his monstrous eyebrows, was chipped and covered in graffiti in more places than the natural stone shone through. "This punk really ruined it, though. Charleer never found himself a wife, so he just picked the guy closest to a friend he had to reign in his stead. That 'friend' thought he could fix Charleer's mistakes by letting the people govern themselves. But then he decided he really did want power. So basically, the citizens had more taxes than they had money and police enforcing whatever laws they thought up on the spot.

"By the time he was finally assassinated, the Darklands had dissolved intoanywhere from seven to twenty states of power constantly warring with each other. And every other country we ever came into contact with had just as much if not more hate towards the government…but wouldn't bother fighting for or against us. We had enough debt to last until the end of time.

"A few koopas tried to regain control over the Darklands over the next few years, and that's where these losers come in." Bowser waved his hand over towards the four statues forming the next part of the circle's edge. They all seemed overlooked by both the garden caretakers and any vandals…and even the sculptors themselves had seemed to have little respect for their subjects. They were nothing but crude caricatures, and Peach doubted she'd be able to point out any of them in real life.

"Then," Bowser continued with pride resonating in his voice, "came along my grandfather." Bowser grabbed Peach's hand and moved her directly in front of the statue. He was quiet for a moment, moving his free hand to hold the stone hand of his grandfather. Bowser's grandfather looked quite a bit unlike him, much leaner. He seemed just as strong, and his hair seemed like it would have suited a Mohawk very well, had he styled it like Bowser's children.

But what grabbed her attention was the statue's expression more than anything. It was firm and unsmiling, seeming to capture the very essence of great power. And yet, his face and hands were turned outward, looking to help lift up those on ground-level. It reminded Peach very much of a parent, punishing a child for its own good and out of complete love.

"My grandfather Morton was the best king the Darklands ever had. Before me, I mean." He chuckled quietly. "Maybe even a little bit better than me, actually…" He smiled at Peach, sitting her down on the bench in the middle of the circle. "He really pulled us together, cutting the city off from the rest of the world completely until it was rebuilt. People followed him first out of fear, then out of complete respect. He was a very, very harsh ruler and didn't take any crap. Any dissenters in the government were met with immediate action, but their opinions weren't ignored, either.

"Once they had built up power and a sense of national pride, Morton pushed the limits. Literally. He started imperializing, taking land not because it used to be in the old Darklands, but because he wanted it in the new Darklands. And everyone around him was so weak, it was an easy decision to surrender to his armies.

"He decided he didn't want to repeat any of Charleer's mistakes and wanted a clear line of inheritance. So he and my grandmother began the tradition of having large royal families…basically, breeding rulers to pick from at the king's discretion. My father was the third oldest and best cut out to take Morton's place when he died. As much as I think my dad paled compared to Grandpa Morton, my aunts and uncles are all really stupid. So I guess it was a good choice.

"Dad was a pretty good king. He didn't do anything new and exciting…but I guess he just needed to keep Grandfather's work moving. Whatever," He snarled. The statue of Bowser's father was not as well looked-after as Morton's, but it was obviously loved by the public.

"He's probably actually a really good king. But I just know he was a sucky dad. And my entire life all I heard was how he was trying to live up to his father's examples, fill his footsteps. He seemed like he was scared to do anything himself. Did you know he didn't imperialize anywhere but the places Morton had left in transition when he died? And he didn't start any new industries, fix any old ones, or even lead relief efforts. He just sat on his tail and kept the empire from dying again.

"Then we get to me." Bowser grinned and raced over to his stone-self. He stood on the platform, ignoring the automatic electronic warnings to get off the sculpture. "Whaddaya think? Pretty accurate, huh?"

"You'd better get off there, Bowser. Before someone comes and you can't explain who you are!"

Bowser laughed, throwing an arm around his stone portrait's shoulders. "Oh no, the alarm is basically a bluff. It only alerts the security if the sculpture is in any way damaged or it senses paint. And even then…the fine is usually only around fifteen koopa coins….three Bowser coins for serious damage." He hopped down from the platform, joining Peach again on the bench.

"It isn't a popular place, but it is one of the few places that desecrating government property is perfectly fine. As a teenager, I used to come here to spit on my dad. He always played the 'respect royalty' card with me. If my kids wanna spit on me, they can. If they manage to spit some fire, heck, that's even better. I mean, they're gonna get the consequence of their lifetime, but it's their opinion. A little backbone is good for a kid."

Peach muttered, "I don't know if I could even imagine being spit on…I think it happened to me once. And the guy was homeless, crazy, and had a salivary gland infection. But my own kid…"

"I imagine you'd be the kind of parent no child would ever want to spit on. Look at my kids! They practically worship you, and most of them just met you this week."

"They worship you, too, Bowser."

"Not the same way," he chuckled. "You could sentence them to a lifetime of broccoli and early bedtimes, and they'd think it was the chocolate and ice-cream hour."

Bowser and Peach continued talking about everything; parenting, parents, history, and even ice-cream, when two koopa children ran into the history ring.

"There, Koopvin! That's the king I told you about. He's the one who tripped over his chomp-chomp and broke three of his fingers!" The older girl ran over to the second of the four caricature kings, gazing at it with amusement across her face. She was dragging a pink doll in one hand, the other hand pointed up at the mostly forgotten king. "Koopvin?" She turned around, her ponytail swinging full around to smack the stone king. "Koopvin! What are you doing?"

The tiny koopa, most likely just out of his toddler years, was gazing up at the stone Bowser with a gaping mouth. "Bowza!" He squeaked, pointing. "Bowza Bowza!"

"Koopvin," the girl sighed, "we have three Bowser statues at home. Not to mention your action figure collection. Look at this guy…he's really rare!"

"But I like Bowza!" The little koopa crawled onto the platform, hugging Bowser tightly around the leg. The alarm went off, but Koopvin didn't seem to mind as he stuck his tongue out at his older sister.

"I know you like Bowser, Koopvin. But he doesn't like you. Hear that alarm? It's telling him someone is being stupid, and he's gonna come over you and give you the biggest spanking you ever had!"

"Nu-uh!" Koopvin squeaked, looking up at Bowser for reassurance. "Bowza not gun come. He too busy."

"Get down!" his sister hissed, looking over at Peach and Bowser to see if they were still there. "You're embarrassing me in front of these nice people. They probably think I have an ook-ook for a brother! A Bowser-loving ook-ook!" Koopvin giggled, jumping off the statue for the purpose of imitating ook-ooks further. "Oh, for the love of…"

Koopvin was quickly distracted upon seeing his audience of strangers. His hands fell from his armpits to his sides. "Bowza!" He stood, gaping at Bowser as if he'd seen a ghost.

"That's not the real Bowser, Koopvin," his sister sighed. "He's dressed-up. Just like all the other ones we saw today."

"Nu-uh…" Koopvin moaned, rushing over to Bowser. "You the real Bowza, arenchu, Your mastajay?"

Bowser squirmed in his seat, obviously at a fix. "Uh…Peach…" he mumbled out of the side of his mouth. "You don't think theses kids are paparazzi in disguise, right?"

Peach smiled, leaning over to be almost cheek-to-cheek in answering Bowser. "Even if they are, who in their right mind would tell this kid no?"

Bowser chuckled and bent down to be closer to the little koopa. "I sure am, kid. But your sister's right- you keep hugging my statue like some kind of stuffed animal and I'll bite ya."

Koopvin's grin spread widely across his face. "Really-really?"

"What, you don't think I could be? I'm the genuine article! Tyrannizing, fire-blasting, and awesomeness powers all included."

"Oh, Koopvin, you can't believe this guy. Besides! We shouldn't talk to strangers," his sister whined, grabbing her brother with her free hand. Directing her attention to Bowser, she apologized quickly.

"What are you blabbering on about, girly?" Bowser snarled, raising a bushy eyebrow. "Your brother here is smarter than everyone else in this city and apparently the only one with respect. He's got eyes of the tiger!"

She rolled her eyes, continuing to reason with Bowser while pushing her brother away from the koopa king. "Please, sir. My brother is easily swayed and I can't deal with him and his fantasies. It's not like Bowser would be sitting in a frilly little garden like this, anyway."

Peach spoke up, her tinkling voice turning on the lights in the girl's eyes. "He would if he was trying to impress Princess Peach, don't you think? We don't have anything like this in the Mushroom Kingdom."

A smile flashed across her face, gone as fast as it had come. "I see what you're trying to do, lady. But Peach would know that isn't true- there's a history garden just three miles out of Toad Town that's double the size of the ring."

"There is, you're right. But the garden is in the middle of a burly tree farm, and I'm allergic to burly leaves. And the other museums in the kingdom are all well-respected. It's nice to see public expression, sometimes." She smiled patiently at the girl, dusting off her skirt just a bit.

The girl tilted her head a bit, squinting her eyes. "Are you really…for real…"

"I'm as really Princess Peach as he is really Bowser." Peach looked over at Bowser and smiled, grabbing his hand. "And I'm as surprised I'm here with you two as I'm surprised Bowser's being so patient."

Bowser laughed rolling his eyes. "Me, too."

The girl's eyes went wide and her hand went limp. Immediately, Koopvin ran back to Bowser. "Yo mastejay, can I hug you?"

"Why would you wanna do that?" Bowser snarled curiously. "My kids don't even get to hug me. They spend every hour scrubbing the tile and burning the servant's butts."

Before her brother could reply, the sister finally managed to sputter out, "willyousignmydollforme?" She thrust the doll in front of Peach. It was now obvious what it was…a miniature, stuffed Peach. Her eyes were too big, her mouth too small, and her dress was much poofier than even Peach would dare wear. But the depiction was unmistakable.

Peach smiled. "Of course I can." She took the doll, turning to Bowser while the girl fumbled for a pen. "Bowser, you don't think this is a bad idea, right?"

"Naw. It's harder to find dolls that aren't 'signed by Peach' nowadays. Hers will be one of a kind." He looked at the doll and pulled a face. "A good thing your pretty handwriting is gonna be on it. That's the ugliest Peach I've ever seen."

"People are hard to make into toys, Bowser." She graciously took the girl's pen. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Lucy," she mumbled, playing with her ponytail nervously.

"To Lucy," Peach narrated as she signed the skirt's hem. "Keep your spirits and optimism high. And keep loving history! Signed, Princess Peach Toadstool." She handed the doll back, adding, "and I think she's a lovely doll, by the way. Don't listen to Bowser- he's just jealous that boys don't get to play with dolls."

Bowser sophomorically stuck his tongue out at the girls, making them both giggle. Suddenly, Koopvin latched onto Bowser's legs. Bowser lifted his arms up as if too get every bit of him as far from the child as possible, staring down at the koopa in shock. "Where'd you come from?"

"I 'cided I wanted to hug you still!"

"So you just…did?"

Koopvin squeezed Bowser's leg tighter, his chipper voice muffled by the scales. "Uh-huh!"

Bowser bent down and plucked the koopa off his leg, lifting him to sit in his lap. They were now almost eye-to-eye. "So you're telling me that you thought of something you wanted, didn't get the reply you expected soon enough, and just barreled ahead; ignoring all consequences? Just up and did what you wanted with no consideration to anybody else?"

Koopvin looked a little scared, avoiding Bowser's piercing stare. "Uh-huh…"

Bowser grunted. Then he lightly punched the koopa on the arm, sending him to almost fall off his lap. "That's the way to go, kid." He tried to hide a smile as he continued, "Makin' your old kingy proud."

Koopvin's face spread into a wide grin as he reached out and hugged Bowser around the neck. "I wuv you, Bowza!"

"Cool it on the hugs, champ!" Bowser growled playfully, plucking Koopvin off again and planting him on the ground. "Now, you two better get going."

"You wanna be alooone with Princess Peach, don't you, sire?" Lucy chirped, glancing from Peach to Bowser.

"Yes, I do," he answered, point-blank. "So scram, before I eat you all!"

They grabbed hands and ran off, giggling. Even when they couldn't see the siblings any longer, they could still hear Koopvin bragging about hugging 'Bowza' and Lucy praising her dolly.

Peach looked away from the children's path, glancing at Bowser. He was staring just the same. "You're such a sap, you know that?"

"What?" He gasped. Bowser stammered, looking for a reply, but finally could only settle on a grunted, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!" Peach giggled, standing up and staring down at Bowser. "You make yourself out to be this big, rock-hard monster, but you're nothing but a softy. A sweet, sensitive, softy."

Bowser stood up, standing directly above Peach, with his arms around her figure. "Coming from you, those sound a lot like compliments," he muttered.

"I thought you took them as insults," she retorted softly, fitting into Bowser's embrace as easily as if they were dancing.

"They are. But as long as it's our little secret, I can be your sweet, sensitive, softy all you like."

Peach laughed warmly, bringing her arms up to Bowser's shoulders. "I won't tell anyone- I promise." She laughed again, thinking about Bowser's façade, and how weak it really was. How could she have never noticed the soft underbelly before this week? It wasn't like he was ever a cruel captor; and employing his children as castle guards, even after known failure, didn't seem very malicious. But then she thought about everything else she'd learned about him, including the history of his role as king. That façade was quintessential to his nature, and she wasn't the only one fooled.

"I still want that gyro," Bowser reminded her. "What charade shall we play this time?"

Breaking out of their embrace, Peach put a finger on her lips quizzically. "Let's go as…friends."

Looking almost disappointed, Bowser repeated, "friends? Just friends?"

Peach smiled, gripping Bowser's hand as he led them towards the old goomba's kiosk. "Naw. Brand new best friends."

"With maybe a little more that they just aren't willing to admit?" He pleaded.

Peach laughed, shrugging. "I think 'best friends' are going to be easier to portray. Much more natural."

Bowser snorted in amusement. "You keep telling yourself that."

Author's Note: Hope you all aren't overly dry from this chapter. Having Bowser narrate history makes it lighter, I think. :)

Next chapter is a little exciting. Mostly because we get to see the scene for Mariosonic's oneshot canonization, which I quite love and am awfully excited for you guys to read. Also get some not-quite-fluff that I really like...and a hint at the drudgery of the contest I'm trying my best to make as exciting as possible.

I also have to let you guys know I have some really major tests coming up next week, which means I'm grounding myself from serious writing sessions until next Thursday. Hopefully that won't hinder the schedule too much, but I thought it only fair to let you know in case it does. I have other major tests a few weeks after that, but those I probably won't care about as much once they come around. ;)

Thanks for sticking around and making me the happiest (and often bemused) author I know.

-Razzi