"Are you going tonight" Ian and Mandy had just finished their last exam and they had gone out for lunch at a nearby joint.

Ian shrugged. "Not sure. I'm exhausted." He took a bite from his burger.

Mandy pouted. "Com'on don't be a party pooper. Everyone is going to be there. It is the end of the school year, next year we are going to be seniors, it's a celebration." She tapped her foot against Ian's shin.

Ian shrugged again and slouched into his seat. "I'm not really in the party mood…" he picked at his fries. Mandy frowned and studied Ian's face.

"Funny, Mickey said the exact same thing."

Ian raised an eyebrow, pretending to be only a little bit interested.

"I told him to come, he said he doesn't do high school parties. I thought it would be good for him to go, since he kept getting held back…he's finally gonna graduate. But nooo….He told me he's not in the 'party mood.'

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Ian asked.

"Did something happen again between you two?" She looked around making sure that nobody was close enough to overhear their conversation.

"Nothing happened. Nothing is going to happen. That's the problem." Ian sighed.

"Okay, man, you're going to have to elaborate a little bit more here."

"I'm not asking for him to hold my hand everywhere we go. Or call me every night to say he misses me. I just want to know that…you know, he wants me too…" Ian paused and pressed his lips together. "Fuck you know what. I will come tonight. It will be a good idea for me to go out and forget about him. For at least a night."

"That's the spirit!" Mandy clinked her soda can with Ian's.

Mandy was sitting on Ian's lap, his arms wrapped around her waist, around a table with their drunk friends, laughing and sipping on their beers.

"Ian! Truth or dare?" Victor, one of the guys on the football team shouted. Everyone turned to look at him.

The group of friends had been playing, but Ian was just watching for most of the game.

"This is so lame." He laughed and sipped his beer. He was already drunk. "Fuck. Truth?"

"Lame!" He yelled back and thought of a question. "How old were you when you lost your virginity? Or was it to Mandy?" he teased.

Ian thought back, he was fourteen, but it was with a guy. He debated whether he should tell the truth or say it was with Mandy.

"Oh Ian has done it before. He knew exactly what he was doing." Mandy bragged, keeping up their lie.

"Fourteen I think" Ian shrugged. "Maybe fifteen?"

"You don't remember?" A girl named Anna asked.

"Not really that important."

"Who was it with?" Victor asked.

"Some – g- someone from my old school." He figured he should just give people what they wanted and go into detail – without giving away too much. "We were in the ninth grade…umm, working on an English project together and he just kinda wanted it."

"He?"

Mandy looked at Ian with wide eyes.

"What?" Ian quickly said.

"You said he."

"I meant she." Ian sipped his beer. "We did it on my couch and it was super awkward." He tried to cover his slip up but nobody seemed to buy it.

"Right…."

Mandy jumped up. "Well this is totally lame. Let's go back upstairs and get beer." She grabbed Ian's hand and pulled him off the couch. Once they were away from everyone she hit his arm.

"What the hell was that?"

"I've been gay my whole life Mandy. I can't just switch it on and off. It slips. I can't help it." He snapped back. He was tense now and he just wanted Mickey. "I'm going to get more drinks." Ian went off to the kitchen and Mandy found her friends.

He had beer after beer, and did some shots with guys on the football team when Ian realized he was totally wasted. He stumbled outside and sat on the porch to get some air. Ian took out his phone and stared at it for a while before deciding to text Mickey.

I fucked up – Ian

Ok – Mickey

I told somebody I slept with a dude lol – Ian

Did you? – Mickey

Long ago – Ian

Looooong ago – Ian

Like…..its been a whikle. – Ian

Are you at that stupid party? – Mickey

yuP –Ian

And it suckkkks. – Ian

Lol – Ian

There wasn't a text back from Mickey for a while so Ian pressed the call button.

"What Ian?" Mickey answered the phone.

"Its not fair." Ian pouted. "You get to wear that dumb look on your cute li-little face of yours and pretend like nothings wrong and I'm sad!" Ian sighed loudly. "so, so, so, so sad."

Mickey didn't respond.

"Mickey Milko-milkovich."

"Ian Gallagher." He said back in a teasing voice.

"Come to the party. Pretty, pretty please."

"I'm in bed. I'm exhausted."

"Can I come over?" Ian suggested.

"Whatever." Mickey hung up the phone.

Ian stared at his phone blankly for a bit before he got up. He quickly texted Mandy telling her that he was going home, that he wasn't feeling the party. Ian knew it was a mistake to go over to Mickey's. They would have the same conversation that he was so tired of having with Mickey, but he couldn't help himself. He was obsessed.

Ian made his way over to the Milkovich house, knocking on the door gently once he was at the doorstep. He was still pretty drunk, but not as much as when he called Mickey.

The Thug answered the door, stepping aside right away to let Ian in. The Redhead entered the house and looked back at Mickey with a goofy grin on his face. Mickey rolled his eyes and closed the door. He was only wearing baggy sweat pants, and Ian couldn't help but stare at him.

"You're drooling." Mickey scoffed and pushed past Ian, going to the kitchen. He poured a glass of water and gave it to Ian. "Drink."

Ian gladly took the water and chugged it. "Thanks."

Mickey nodded. "What are you doing at that stupid fucking party anyways?" Mickey crossed his arms over his chest.

"I wanted to get shitfaced and forget about you."

"Oh yeah?" Mickey was amused. "How'd that go?"

"Fucking terrible. I ended up here." Ian laughed.

"Com'on, lets get you to bed. Sleep it off." He started to push Ian into Mickey's room and Ian didn't protest.

"I don't wanna." Ian mumbled. "I wanna talk to you."

"We can talk once you are sober." Mickey brought Ian to his bed, and waited for him to lie down. Mickey pulled the blankets on top of him and sat on the chair next to the bed.

Ian turned his head to look at Mickey. "How did it go?"

"How did what go?"

"Exams. Bio. English. How did they go?"

Mickey looked down and shrugged.

"That bad?"

Mickey looked up "Bio sucked. Got like a 75%. English I passed with an 82%."

Ian quickly sat up in the bed and stared at Mickey. "That is fucking great Mickey. What are you taking about? You did awesome."

He rolled his eyes. "Would you calm down? It's not like I even cared that much about passing." Mickey looked down into his hands then ran a thumb over his lip.

"Bullshit." Ian got out of Mickeys bed and knelt down to become eye level with him. "I know how hard you worked. You deserve it. I'm so proud of you."

Mickey tried to bite back a smile but Ian could see it. The Thug just rolled his eyes and looked at Ian, trying to look annoyed. Ian just grinned brightly at him.

"I got a B in math. So, thanks." Ian placed a hand on Mickey's knee and didn't feel Mickey's body flinch that time he touched him. He heard Mickey inhale sharply and saw his hand move on top of Ian's slowly. Ian let Mickey figure it out for a second before Ian intertwined their fingers to hold his hand.

"You're welcome." Mickey mumbled staring at their hands. Ian swore that Mickey was blushing. "I kinda missed ya, Gallagher."

"What? Really?" Ian was rubbing the back of Mickey's hand with his thumb.

"I mean, you're – you were my only friend. I liked talkin' to ya."

"I want to be just friends with you Mickey." Ian sighed. "I really fucking do. But, I don't think I can."

"Why not?"

"Because I think I might be in love with you."

Mickey stared at Ian blankly. "What did you just say?"

Ian was surprised himself that he had even said it. He didn't even know if he actually felt that way, he had just sort of said it. Sure, he loved talking to Mickey, being around Mickey, listening to him talk whenever he decided he would talk to Ian, but he always thought it was a crush. Until then. Until he knew that there might not be a chance for them to even try being a couple.

"I said I think I might love you."