Foreword: Like I expected, I'm not done with 38 yet, but I'm going to camp tomorrow and wanted to make sure this update was on time/early...especially since poor Mika has been waiting for it since she gave the 600th review! It includes a gift to her in the first section, which many of you may not understand...basically, Mika loves Ludwig. It's all you gotta know. C:
Like I said, this is sort of a cool-down chapter, and it's not my favorite, but it's still fun. AND on time.
And please don't forget that I own nothing of worth. There's no point claiming I do or trying to steal it, because it's all Nintendo's. I don't get a CENT.
Lanky and long as his name would suggest, Frederich Longkoopa was uncomfortable enough in his chair, built for a koopa more the stature of Ludwig Von Koopa. Assuring the palace help around him that he was not an enemy and was, in fact, waiting for the ever-prompt Ludwig to arrive late simply made him more uncomfortable. He ran a wrinkled hand through his hair, accidently pulling out a few withering, white strands.
Finally, almost an hour late, Ludwig ran through the door, a folder full of music under his arm. The koopa prince was panting, doubled over to catch his breath as he stuttered out apologies. Longkoopa's face was stern and hard as he stood to great the young virtuoso. "You have lateness," he muttered.
"I'm well …aware of that… and I assure you my… greatest… of apologies," Ludwig heaved in response. "My impish younger brothers…aroused a ruckus large…enough…that Kammy had to…punish us. She kept me…away."
Longkoopa seemed to sneer, waving a wrinkled hand in the air. "That is enough with the excuses. I would like to have my music, please. I am thinking you have complete."
"Of course. I hope you will find it to your satisfaction." Ludwig opened his folder and took out a new version of Longkoopa's piece, restored from memory. "My unruly brothers compromised the original with their destructive mores, but I had it committed to memory and wrote it as faultless as I could. I think you will find my version not pejorative in the least."
The withered composer took the copy and looked it over. He ran through the song in his head, noticing the intricate details Ludwig wrote into the piece. His face, usually expressing what would seem to be cruelty, looked honestly disappointed. "Ludwig Von Koopa…this is not my copy. I have tell you to write on my copy."
"I know…I told you, it was compromised…destroyed. Covered in chocolate. Illegible. Completely worthless."
"Worthless?" Longkoopa shook his head, still disappointed in Ludwig. "You are a great musician, Ludwig Von Koopa. Never music is worthless. Never originals is worthless. Each part of process of music is important. There are no mistakes, there are lessons learned."
Ludwig ran a claw through his hair, stung by Longkoopa's hurt. "I know, I know…but the music…here, I have it with me still. You can see for yourself. This is an imbroglio I had never dreamed of, I hope you understand…" he warned before opening his folder yet again. With a great sigh, Ludwig pulled out the true original. Completely coated in chocolate, there were only seven or eight measures on any page that were legible at all, most blurred at best. The pages were stiff from the dry chocolate, and left spots on his fingers from just the lightest of touch.
"You see? A complete ignominy." Lovingly, Longkoopa set Ludwig's copy to the side and reached out to take his own. His face lit up.
"Ludwig, this is music. She is random, she is unexpected, she is bad. Music is art, and art has that cannot plan. I asked many musicians for to help with this song. Not just you, Ludwig Von Koopa. I have hope to put all parts together to find the real heart of song.
"This paper you gave to me the first, he is sad. He is expected, understood, and very boring. Ludwig, you are trained. That is the why you are well, that is the why you are bad. The paper you gave to me the first has of rules. You say, 'there are rules in music'. But there is not. Music exist for many, many years before people say 'there are rules'. Music exist before people say anything. The wind has music, the birds has music, and plus the ocean has music. None of these have rules."
Ludwig smiled, taking Longkoopa's awkward explanation as not a criticism, but an insight into a great musician's mind. "But Longkoopa…if you don't use rules, how can you expect the music to sound good?"
Longkoopa lifted a hand, now coated in chocolate, off his original. He placed it to his chest. "If she is come from here, she is going to be good. Because you are smart here," he tapped his skull, leaving a chocolate streak in his white, wispy hair, "she will sound good. You see? Your rules can have helpfulness, but the first is needs be the heart, the random, the nature. You needs be have faith."
The aging musician pulled out his other copies of the song and looked through them, humming some indistinct melody. The chocolate one stood out from the others like a sore thumb, but Longkoopa treated it with all the same respect. He even put Ludwig's second copy in the pile.
Watching him work, Ludwig felt something stirring in him that he hadn't felt for years. This was the composer he had learned to love music from, the first other person he'd ever met who seemed to understood music flowed so naturally within oneself as the blood in their veins. Ludwig supposed that even if his accent was more pronounced and his syntax worse, he would still understand Longkoopa better than he understood any other person on the planet. Oh, if he could just watch him work a little longer!
"Come see, come see," Longkoopa urged, waving Ludwig over. "You needs be have faith," he repeated. "I am going to play the paper of chocolate for you hear." He picked up the chocolate pieces and placed them on Ludwig's honored piano. Then, without even wiping his fingers, began to turn each pristine, white key he touched a filthy, chocolate brown.
And yet, Ludwig was so caught up in the music that he could not even imagine caring about the well-being of his piano. All he could care about was the beautiful sounds.
Longkoopa took the measures that the chocolate had spared and combined them, layered them on top of one another, and translated the blurs into a piece of music three times more beautiful than the piece had originally been. And even better than what Ludwig had recreated. "Faith is not bad, huh?" Longkoopa asked as he finished. He smiled. "Do you have understanding now, Ludwig Von Koopa?"
He was going to answer when a goombamaid rushed in the door. "Your most belovedness, Prince Ludwig!"
Ludwig sighed and glared over at the maid. "I'm currently engaged in a very important duty, Goomda. I don't have time for your feckless announcements."
"But we've received a very unique request from a fan of yours, sire! One we thought you should look into…for security reasons."
"Fanboys?" Longkoopa asked, amused.
"No," Ludwig replied, shuddering. "Fangirls. Much worse." He begrudgingly hopped off the bench and trod over to Goomda. "What does she enquire after? Surely an autograph should appease her whims…"
"Your brilliance, she requested to have you…as a pet."
"What?" Ludwig asked, outraged.
"And she attached a rather…generous…bribe, sire. It was actually addressed to your father, but as he's out, we took it upon ourselves to check his mail."
"Good thing," Ludwig muttered, looking over the letter and the seeming endless 0's in the check. "Father probably would find this most attractive of offers… Why would she want me as a pet?"
"I'm not sure, sire. But she also attached a list of credentials and character references…apparently wanted to put in a 'good word' in case the bribe wasn't convincing enough. And there are also a few thinly-veiled threats for kidnapping…security is looking into them but we're not certain she's backed."
"Good heavens!" Ludwig sighed, running a claw through his enormous hair. "I assume they've affirmed it not to be a jape? Perhaps a moment of appalling choice birthed from a frisson?"
"Um…" the goomba bit her lip, clearly a bit embarrassed by her own lack of understanding. "They're…checking."
Longkoopa walked over and looked at the letter. "Funny," he chuckled, "I have receive letter like this. This letter- she have include a bribe, a lot of fluffy words, and the hairs. Blue hairs, of actual." He laughed at the memory. "But I am thinking the letterer was of very youth. Of obvious, I never had oblige. And my English had worseness to now, so I was not understanding much. But now, I have forget the name of letterer…"
Ludwig's eyes, as wide as saucers, glanced at his idol from the side. He forced a laugh out as his grip on the letter tightened. "Yeah, that's…that's funny. Who would do that? Let's…um…go back to the song now." To himself, Ludwig prayed the composer never realized he was the only koopa those years back who could find his address, afford such a bribe, and happened to sport blue hair. And to himself, he thanked the forces that be for the old koopa's memory problems.
xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx
Peach kept her grip on Bowser's claw so tight; she imagined that even beneath her white glove, her hand was probably the same shade. "Bowser," she squeaked out of the side of her mouth, "what are we going to do now?"
Bowser looked hard at the security guards, their weapons pointed down at the royals. The mouser seemed to be saying something, but Bowser was too busy fighting down his battle-mode and honing his escape mode to actually pay attention. His eyes flickered from the koopatrols to the locked door they stood by, forming a plan. "Do you trust me?"
Peach eagerly looked at Bowser's stern face, willing to protect not only her life, but her cruel desire to keep her identity from everyone who could ever connect her to Bowser. He would put his life down just so she could be happy…of course she trusted him! "Always," she answered, closing her eyes tight.
Bowser dramatically tore off the Peach dress he had been sporting, now flayed and torn all over. After thrusting it to the ground, Bowser grabbed Peach tight to his chest. In quick succession, he jumped surprisingly high into the air, coming down with a rumble so fierce, all the koopatrols fell onto their shells, knocking the mouser flat on her face. Bowser kept Peach tight and roared as he lifted a foot, dramatically barreling into the locked door.
The door clattered as Bowser's sheer force knocked it out of its frame, and they continued to barrel into the alley. Peach screamed in both fear and delight, the wagon haphazardly flying after them, bears tumbling out as they went. They crashed into a dumpster at the other end of the alley, Bowser's pointed shell denting it into a cave around them, Peach impacting against Bowser's chest with an "oof".
"Are you okay?" He asked, releasing his tight grip on Peach.
"Yeah, I'm fine…I'm perfectly fine."
"Then help me," he mumbled, standing up and pulling her towards the door. Inside the hotel, most of the koopatrols and the mouser were all mumbling around, rubbing their heads as they tried to come-to. A few of the better-off koopatrols were feebly waving their limbs, shouting for help as they rocked back and forth on the back of their shells.
Easily, Bowser lifted up the heavily-dented door, tossing it to get a better grip on it and prop it into a frame. Snarling, Bowser punched the door to un-dent the dent best he could. "We have to move fast, before they get back up. I need you to hold this, please," he asked, waiting for Peach to take the door so it didn't fall. She ran up to it and held it in place, pushing on it with all her might. "This might be a little hot, Peachy…" he warned.
Bowser blew fire in a concentrated line, right along the door's outer edge. The metal in the door and in the doorframe welded together, sealing the guards out until they could get a wrecking-ball…or go the long way around. The door did heat up, but Peach was determined to help Bowser. She was glad to have gloves on…but even with the added protection, her fingers felt like they were blistering.
"Done!" He chirped, stepping back to admire his handiwork.
"Thank goodness," Peach muttered, yanking her hands off. She looked at them as unassumingly as she could, noticing her gloves had burned right through to her fingertips, each blistered and burnt.
"Peach, what's wrong with your hands?" Bowser asked, noticing her gaze.
"Nothing!" she answered, quickly shoving them behind her.
"No! Give me your hands!" he ordered, trying to grab them. Quickly, it became a sort of game as she giggled, refusing to let him see them and pulling them out of reach. But soon, Bowser won and got a hold of her hands. "Peach…" he muttered, his heart break evident in his voice.
"It's fine," she assured him, "it's nothing."
"This doesn't look like nothing," Bowser corrected, trying to better understand the burn. He ran his fingers over them, watching her twitch as she tried to pull away from the pain.
"Bowser, don't worry about it," Peach moaned, more pain coming from watching Bowser fuss over her fingers than the burns themselves. "We can get someone to magick them up tonight. There's nothing to do now."
"Well…" Bowser whined, holding her hands as lightly as he could.
"Do you want to kiss them better?" Peach asked with a giggle.
Bowser looked up at her, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Do you want me to?"
Peach smiled back. She missed that eager look he gave her! "If you'll stop fussing, that'll make me feel a lot better."
"So you want me to kiss you?"
Peach laughed inside, closing her eyes. How was she supposed to answer that? "I want you to kiss it better, yeah…sure."
Bowser grinned, his grip on her hands tightening a bit. "Okay. Tell me if your lips ever hurt," he added, making Peach laugh, before he bent down. With surprising sweetness, he kissed each finger. His lips were big enough that one kiss probably could have sufficed, but it seemed Bowser wouldn't give up this chance for the world.
And as Peach stood there in the dirty alley, Bowser bent down and kissing her fingertips, she really didn't mind at all.
His lips were on her last index finger when they heard excited, anxious voices around the corner. One that sounded unsurprisingly like the mouser judge's. Bowser quickly finished pecking those last two fingers and grabbed Peach's wrist, avoiding contact with her burnt fingertips.
Together, they ran back to the best hiding spot they could find in the corner behind the dumpster. Peach rolled the wagon of bears over near them, Bowser sitting in the corner and Peach snuggling as tight to him as they could. Their shadows mingled in the darkness cast by the dumpster, and they held their breath, listening to the people around the corner approach.
"-and once we can get a firm grip on them, we'll have more proof than we ever need."
"More proof of what? You've told me a thousand times that we need to catch them. But why, exactly?"
"I thought our security guards contacted you about this."
"They just told me you had a problem with some participants at the Cause-Play. Who apparently…stole your clipboard?"
"Yes, well…hold on, they should be down this alley."
There was silence. As much as Peach and Bowser wanted to look around the corner -the voice with the mouser judge sounded suspiciously familiar- they knew this was the most important time to stay completely silent. Footsteps. The two people were getting closer.
"They should be around here…somewhere…" the mouser muttered, getting anxious. She walked closer, her companion a few footsteps ahead.
Peach and Bowser could see his shoes, and though they held their breath, he looked a little too close for comfort. But quickly, he spun around to face the mouser.
"That's it. They're not here. You're wasting government funds by having me over here to look for some clip-board thieves."
"No! No, no! That's not the real problem. They're…they're really…ooh, you won't believe me until we find them!"
"Try me!"
"Okay, well…" the mouser took a deep breath before continuing. "I was trying to apprehend them and keep them contained before they escaped. Because they're actually…actually…"
"Spit it out."
"They actually are Peach and Bowser. The real ones!" The mouser's frantic cry was met with silence. Then, a sputtered laugh. From behind the dumpster, Bowser and Peach both let out their breath in a sigh. For good measure, Bowser gave Peach another squeeze.
The government aid cleared his throat, silencing any ideas the mouser had of explaining herself. "I was called out of business. Called out of the Volcanopalace itself to see to 'important affairs at the Cause-Play'. I come, and what do I find? A judge who should be judging, and is instead playing some ridiculous wild-goose chase game with a squadron of unqualified koopatrols. And what are they looking for? What has caused all this mishap and confusion? Why, she thinks she's found Bowser and Peach. The real ones. In a look-alike contest. Has it ever occurred to you, miss, that they might just LOOK LIKE THEM?"
To emphasize the last words, the government aid smacked her over the head with whatever he had in his hand. "All I can tell that they've done, besides waste a lot of time for a bunch of fools, is steal a clipboard. And that is not worth my time."
"They…they also ruined the-" Bowser and Peach could see the mouser's hand pointing at the door, shoddily repaired by Bowser's welding skills. Then, they also saw three shapes flying at it; a triangle, a square, and a circle. The shapes hit the door and with a blue poof, repaired it. Bowser blinked. He was pretty sure who that government aid happened to be.
"Um…" The mouser mumbled, feeling herself shrink.
"I suggest you get back to judging before I contact your supervisor," the government aid added smugly. With an audible swoosh, the mouser ran out of the alley. Bowser and Peach stayed in the shadows, waiting for the aid to leave. "And to you," he muttered, speaking to the 'empty' alley. "I suggest you lay a bit lower. You leave any more body-shaped dents around and I won't want to be the one explaining. Have a good evening, your vileness." With another poof, Kamek was gone.
Bowser and Peach laughed, and laughed, forgetting for awhile that they were in an alley, behind a dumpster, and that they'd gotten into this mess by doing exactly what they weren't supposed to be doing for their image. The laughter subsided, and Peach stayed close to Bowser.
"Are you okay?" he asked again, softer this time.
"Bowser," she laughed, "If you ask me that any more times, I'm going to think something is wrong with you!"
Bowser chuckled, playing with her hands. "Okay. But do your fingers hurt?"
"Not too bad," Peach answered. "I think your kisses helped!"
"Anytime," Bowser smirked. "Are you comfortable?"
"Actually," she responded, snuggling closer. "You're softer than I expected."
"Really?" Bowser asked, looking down at her, his face almost in her hair.
"Yeah," she sighed, finding his chest to be ridiculously comfortable. Defined, but mostly soft. "I could stay here aaaaall evening."
"Mmmm," Bowser agreed, wrapping his arms securely around her. "But as much as I would really, really love just sitting here next to a pile of trash, holding an angel in my arms, we'll never get to dinner."
"Hmm…tempting."
"Speaking of that…what do you want?"
"For dinner? You want me to choose?"
"Yep," Bowser answered as sweet as he could. "I want you to choose. Plus, it's your turn for the relationship…thingy."
"It is?" Peach asked, sitting up eagerly. She got a wicked look on her face. Peach jumped out of Bowser's arms and grabbed the wagon of bears. She put out a hand for him to grab, burnt fingers and all. "Let's go!" Bowser took her hand as carefully as he could, but still stood up mostly on his own. "We've got some new friends to make, secret-lover of mine."
"That again?" Bowser asked, grinning.
"Oh no, not quite," Peach replied with an air of deceit. "This time…we're much more single."
"Then why is it a secret?" They started to leave the alley, the wagon innocently toting behind them, waiting for Peach to hand out the bears.
"Think Romeo and Juliet without the tragic ending," she explained. "Star-crossed lovers, separated by only the wills of our parents, raging in a war of tradition and misunderstandings. Doomed to see each-other only in terror and chance meets."
"So…exactly like our real lives?"
"What?" Peach asked, laughing. "What fantasy world are you living in?"
Bowser chuckled, intertwining his beefy fingers with her dainty ones. "The thing is, all my fantasies are exactly like my real life right now. I mean, one or two exceptions…but they're not that major."
"Like what?"
"You haven't kissed me yet, or told me you love me, and we're not married." Bowser paused, thinking hard. "That's really the only difference."
"Really?" Peach inquired, a bit more curiosity lingering in her voice than levity.
"And there's no giant pools full of hot fudge sundaes," Bowser added with a serious nod.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah really. You can't have a fantasy world without giant pools full of hot fudge sundaes."
"What about grass fields of cotton candy?"
Bowser scrunched up his face, sticking out his tongue. "No way. That's so impractical. The sun would shine on them, and then it would just get all sticky and melt and it wouldn't hold its shape for a second. Picnics would be ridiculously impossible. Rolling down hills would be torturous. And there would be way too many bees."
"But pools of hot fudge sundaes would be fool-proof, right? The ice cream would never melt; the hot fudge would never cool down?"
"Obviously," Bowser sneered. "It's temperature-maintained for a perfect balance of hot and cold. And you can swim in it or eat it."
"Oh," Peach laughed. "How could I possibly forget?"
"No idea."
xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx
As Mario, Luigi, and Daisy climbed into the princess' yellow jeep, the entire town seemed to be gathered in the parking lot to wish them bon voyage. They waved out the window, chorusing goodbyes for several minutes while Daisy patiently (or as patiently as she ever could manage) waited for their path to clear.
The crowd was full of thrilled onlookers, most appearing to have no idea of what had just happened the past day or so, but eager to be involved in some sort of newsworthy events anyway. Through the masses, Madame Clearmont and her daughter, Meredith, stood waving almost as frantically at the top of the inn's porch.
Finally, they got onto the road and the jeep got up to better speeds, kicking up dust and gravel. They laughed amongst themselves, relatively quiet for a few minutes. Mario was sitting by himself in the backseat, Luigi holding Daisy's right hand while her left drummed the top of the steering wheel. Mario's own hands were occupied as he fiddled a piece of paper- a napkin, rather.
Meredith had scrawled her phone number on it for him. While Mario assumed he would plug it into his phone, perhaps call her once and then never again as he did with so many other female fans, it bothered him a bit more. He didn't want to just call her once. Her friendship, her kinship, her…whatever relationship they seemed to have…he was going to miss that. Mario didn't dare compare it to Peach- that relationship was untouchable, not to mention indefinable. But the most bothering part of the Meredith problem was something he never had to deal with in his relationship with Peach.
He'd didn't feel like he needed to see Meredith ever again. But he still wanted to have Daisy turn her jeep around and invite her to a game of tennis. Or baseball. Or maybe just a walk around the inn and a pasta dinner. Or maybe just to see if she wanted to be his friend.
Of course, Mario considered, she was just another girl at the end of an adventure. He was sure this fascination would dim with time, and the next adventure would have another cast of new friends for him to think about seeing again. And maybe, if that cast always remained constant, he would see those girls again, outside the realms of peril.
Maybe that's why he was so committed to Peach.
It was all too confusing! Relationships spoil perfectly good adventures, he decided. Mario groaned, realizing too late it was out-loud.
"What's-a wrong, Mario?" Luigi asked, looking back at his brother. "Car sick al-a-ready?"
"No, Luigi," he replied. "Just-a…thinking."
"About-a the adventure?"
"Knowing Mario," Daisy interjected, "probably about pasta."
Mario chuckled. "Actually, not-a this time. Just-a thinking about…my…friends."
Luigi gave a half-smile, barely noticeable under his moustache. "Do you miss-a them?"
"Si," Mario answered, deciding it was the best way to be as honest as he could without bothering the happy couple with his confusion.
Daisy dramatically sighed. "It must be hard, I guess. I mean, I've got delegate 'friends' and all, but I have to see them at least twice a year. And you guys live a kingdom away, but again- we all have the means and time to see each other. I basically live in the Mushroom Kingdom, after all. But you, Mario. You meet all these crazy people from all over the world, and they probably all go around telling their friends 'oh, I'm besties with Mario.' 'Mario slept in my bed one night- we're like this!' 'You should hear what Mario ate when he was staying with me- it's a good thing we're such good friends.'. And you hardly ever see anybody ever."
"Si," Mario answered, quietly.
"Hey, at-a least you get to see Princess-a Peach for all-a next week, si?" Luigi suggested, smiling back at him. "That's-a good for you and-a your friend issue."
Mario closed his eyes, considering how very far from the truth that actually was. His 'friend issue' was just more complicated when he through in his 'more-than-friends' friend. Yet, all he had the heart to answer was, "si".
In the front seat, Daisy shook her head. Quietly enough that only her boyfriend could hear, she muttered, "Mario's such a boring brother sometimes. I wish he had more interesting things to say when his life actually is interesting all the time."
"I think-a he does," Luigi replied, just as quietly. "But-a Mario…he likes to-a stay quiet to keep-a himself sane. He doesn't-a like to push his-a problems on other-a people."
"He doesn't have to push," she commented. "Just share."
Luigi chortled, squeezing Daisy's hand. "And when-a was the last-a time you have-a seen Mario ever share?"
Daisy laughed. Quietly, she answered, "Pasta and secrets are not the same thing."
"Eh," Luigi began, narrowing his eyes. "They come in-a all shapes and-a sizes, can be topped with-a most anything, and are-a best suited inside you. Sounds about-a the same to me."
She chuckled, rolling her eyes. "You're ridiculous, little Mr. Luigi Mario. Completely ridiculous."
"But you-a love me!" Luigi protested.
"Which makes it all the more ridiculous." She smiled at him. Luigi grinned back. And from the backseat, Mario just chuckled…silently.
xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx
Going over menu plans was not one of Toadsworth's favorite activities, but it had to be done, especially with the return of Peach so soon. It was just so frustrating, seeing as no one else at the castle understood the value of a good crumpet or the absolute necessity of a cup of tea with every meal.
"Toadsyworther, what do you think about this?" Har T asked, grunting as he lifted a rather thick book onto the table with an unsettling boom. It seemed like a lot of work for a toad of his girth.
"Bloomin' Bub-ulbs, what is this; the Encyclopedia Mushanica: Food Edition?"
"Naw," Har grinned, flipping it open through several almost identical pages of full-length color images. "It's my inspiration book. My wifey wanted to go into food photography once, so she took millions o' pictures o' my favorite meals. Never got past binding the family's copy- too much work for the little lady." He stopped on a particularly pink page, a salmon flank covered in sweet strawberry sauce, lined with what appeared to be peaches soaked in watermelon juice. "I call it 'Pink Paradise' or 'island-tasting-food-for-people-who-live-in-the-middle-of-the-country-with-nothin'-but-streams-bushes-an'-too-much-time'. What do you think, Toadsyworther?"
"I think we ought to go with the first name, wot."
"But do you think Peach will like it? I mean, if you do, we have to start preparing it pretty dang soon…watermelon-flavored-peaches are a bit tricky to do in a minute."
"Well, you have a full 'nother week, sah."
"What?" Har grumbled, his cheeky grin fading for the first time since they started talking. "My little princess isn't coming home on Saturday?"
"Well, she is, theoretically. By George, did you not know? She's meeting Mario at the airport at noon tomorrow. They're leaving from there to bop off to Grand Canal pip-pip."
"Really?" he whined. "I knew that, but I thought…she was coming home for just a bit…" he sighed, flipping the page to look at the same meal in a different lighting. "I suppose we can bring her a plate at the airport."
"I don't think that's necessa-"
"Toadsworth!"
Toadsworth spun around, seeing flashes of pink-and-white through the glass circle in the kitchen door. Even though Peach was the only one in the castle tall enough to see through the window properly, the toads insisted to always keep it there to honor her. Something that wasn't exactly suitable to Toadette at the moment. "Oh, bugger…" he seethed.
"!"
"Excuse me, sah," he muttered, hobbling over to the door and opening it.
Toadette raced in, almost knocking Toadsworth off his balance in her rush to the counter. She grabbed a television remote, pointed at the TV inconspicuously in the kitchen corner, and began muttering to herself as she flipped channels. "Har T, are all the channels either Mushroom Meal Channel or TSPN?"
Finally, she reached her desired channel, a bubbly pianta and her toad co-anchor gossiping about whatever 'news' they had just told- something involving a Dino-Rhino and a Blaarg.
"Really, poppet? You rushed in here to show me the Entertainment channel?"
"Not the channel, Toadsworth. The news on it. It's about Peach!"
"It's always about Peach, m'lady! You know that. We have toads whose entire livelihood is made off of screening this channel!"
Toadette grumbled, continuing to direct her full attention to the pianta on screen. Finally, she began speaking to the audience again, a box with a blurred Peach face popping next to her and above the toad. "And again," the pianta began, "I'd like to remind you all that the Peach Peepers are setting their sights on the mysterious happenings in the fabled world of cos-play, otherwise known as costume-play or look-alike contests. Our field reporters have heard information from multiple sources that a very large event is being held in Bowser's secret empire, under the façade of being a charity event. This look-alike for a cause…or maybe they call it cause-cos-play… is full of people who look just like Princess Peach. Our sources spotted suspicious activity with two of the leading look-alikes, confirming that Princess Peach is indeed WITH Bowser, gallivanting through the secret empire's attractions."
"SEE, Toadsworth?" Toadette chirped, jumping up and down. "I might be right! She might love him!"
"…wait, what?"
Toadette continued bobbing up and down, her pigtails waving frantically as she tried to explain what to her seemed so obvious. "Peach and Bowser are together at a party participating in suspicious activity which obviously means they've been secretly together her whole vacation; probably because they're in love!"
"You sound more bloomin' outrageous than those daft blokes on the telly!"
"No, Toadsworth!" She stopped hopping to sputter a further explanation. "They find their information from reputable sources. Entertainment News is always ahead of the curve…and their information happens to line up with our information at the moment!"
"You're really going to believe that cogswallop, m'dear? How do you know one of their ridiculous spies didn't make all this up on the blinkin' spot? And if not, you know it's just some rumor they heard and happen to like, wot wot. They find rumors, expand them, fill them with hot air, and let them float wherever they may go. That's not bloomin' news or entertainment! And you know better than to believe them, dearie. Just last week this blathering 'Peach Patrol' or whatever they call themselves said she was marrying an alien in the center of the universe in order to reverse the effects of some chaotic star...or chaotic heart or something."
"But sometimes, they're right, Toadsworth! And we don't know where Peach is- maybe she IS with Bowser, gallivanting through the secret empire's attractions."
Toadsworth grumbled, raising his staff to point at the television and make another point about cogswallop, but fell silent as the screen's image changed to Mario, a heart, and a silhouette. "Now, what's this?"
"Nothing!" Toadette squealed, fumbling with the remote again. "I've seen these reels twice now- it's nothing, really. Oh, dear!" She squeaked as the remote slipped out of her hands. In her rush to turn it off, she managed to turn it up, the toad co-anchor's voice drowning out even Toadette's squealing excuses.
"And in other news, Mario is being just as unfaithful as his lovely Princess Peach. Whilst on a secret mission with Luigi at a 'plumbing convention' understood to be an elaborate cover-up for the JKF conspiracy, he has found love. The two were seen together both at the government facility 'convention' as well as at a secluded inn, making plans to wed. The identity of his-"
With a hiss, the television went black. Toadette's face was brighter than her pink cap, and she mumbled something incoherent.
Toadsworth smirked in her direction. "Well, poppet, how do you feel about that? I suppose Peach isn't your competition at all. I suppose-"
"It's nothing but cogswallop," Toadette announced, her mouth a hard line.
"S'what I thought."
A harsh silence filled the room, Toadette not daring to move her eyes from Toadsworth's.
"Well, then," Har T. interrupted, "I suppose I should make enough Pink Paradise for two extra, right?"
Toadsworth scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, turning slowly to the toad cook. "Wha-what?"
"Pink Paradise. To bring to Peach and Mario at the airport. I can't leave their secret lovers out, right?"
"Err….right, sah. Right you are. Can't leave anybody out on your charming fish n' chips…I'm sure that would break their hearts."
Author's Note: So that character I promised you haven't seen...nobody guess Har T. :D He wasn't very memorable, but it was fun to pull his chapter out again and reminisce on the days of 6 page chapters. :)
And next chapter isn't much longer than THAT yet, but so far it's pretty fun. Got some fluff (which everyone likes), some appearances that entertain me and hopefully will entertain you, and also a bit that I have to warn you is a little bit crazy. I love mariowiki TOO much, and the intertwining I find there...well, I could probably write entire fanfics based on that site. So watch out; I let out my crazies on the poor koopalings. And I'm not sure what else it'll include...I'll write it when I get home.
School starts next month, so that might add to my already forecasted lateness, but here's to a hope in the positive direction!
-Razzi