Foreword: I'm late, just like I promised I would be. I'm latER than I had hoped and 39's not quite done yet, but I didn't want to make you guys wait longer for a rather uneventful chapter.

You don't need to wait ANY LONGER. So be aware I don't own Nintendo or its characters and I hope you enjoy.

The phone-booths in downtown Darklands were much too small to accommodate two people, especially when one was a giant Koopa King with a shell that was alone larger than the doorframe. And yet, as cramped as it was, Bowser insisted on joining Peach as she stood in the phone-booth. He certainly didn't mind leaving the wagon of teddy bears to fend for itself on the sidewalk.

"This doesn't really work," she reminded him with a laugh. Peach was crunched into a corner, the phonebook she clutched pressed against the wall. She shouldn't have been able to fit between the phone and the glass wall, but it was the only spot of room Bowser wasn't attempting to occupy.

Bowser growled an inaudible reply, deciding to try a more head-on approach. He took off on a short-distance run, his shell edges catching on the iron doorframe. With a grunt and a surprised expression on his face, he helplessly flailed his limbs.

She cracked up, clutching onto the phonebook to support herself. Bowser's glare lightened at her laughter. He couldn't stay grumpy around her bell-like laugh, her bright countenance. Still stuck in place, Bowser managed a chuckle. "Alright," he said with a gentle smile. "Could you help me out of here before I become the laughing-stock of the town?"

Peach looked at Bowser's position, his arms, legs, and head locked into quite the embarrassing position; one that, in fact, looked just like a laughing-stock. "Sure," she giggled. Peach set the phone-book, chained unfortunately to the booth, back on the shelf. She worked with Bowser, gently directing the manners for him to twist himself out and directing his motions with her own hands. Ignoring the swooping sensation in her stomach, Peach focused on easing Bowser out of the booth as quickly and the least embarrassingly as possible.

"It's a good thing nobody really recognizes me," Bowser moaned once he'd finally gotten loose, careful not to slip on the wagon and heighten his embarrassment. "Although if anyone's backside has to be stuck in a booth on display for the entire street, best be a hot one."

Peach laughed, shaking her head. "But if you weren't so determined to stand in the same box as me, it would have worked out just fine."

"I thought you wanted to have me help you choose a place!" He asked, plopping on the ground in front of the doorway. He pouted, looking a lot like an overgrown toddler.

"I do," she replied, not seeing Bowser as she went to grab the phonebook. She pulled it as close to the door and Bowser's view as the chain would allow. "But if you knew more than one restaurant outside your palace, we wouldn't have even needed a phonebook."

After sitting in the middle of the sidewalk for a bit, Peach safely inside her phone-booth and Bowser doing his very best to ignore the Darklandians whose path he was in, they made their choice. "Flurrie's Finest Entertainment and Eats" had attracted their attention, as Peach recognized the female figure overtaking most of the ad.

"I'd better call ahead and make sure it's good enough for you, Peachy…" Bowser growled. "A lot of the entertainment in this town isn't exactly…what you're used to."

"I'd noticed," Peach agreed, her thoughts resting on some of the ads they were quick to skip over. Even their yellow-page spots seemed risqué and, as Bowser put it, 'not what she was used to'. "I'm not too worried about Flurrie. She may be…intense…but she always said she wanted to reach as many audiences as possible."

"I'm still calling ahead," Bowser reminded her. "Besides, we have to figure out when we should go. I don't know if we have to have those reservation…things."

Peach stood up, keeping the phone-book in her arm. "Actually, I think I should be the one to call," she quipped.

"What? Why not me?" Bowser whined, standing up and grabbing her arm.

"Because," she laughed, having difficulty keeping her focus as she felt Bowser's grip. He wouldn't let go, most likely because he was enjoying that same sensation that Peach was having trouble ignoring. "You don't fit in here. We don't need another laughing-stock fiasco."

"Well," Bowser muttered, beginning to drop his grip so she could go to the phone. "Good point."

Peach smiled, taking her hand and putting it on Bowser's face for both added effect and for her own amusement. "That's a good boy."

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

It wasn't quite sundown, but the polluted air around Peach and Bowser shone orange and red. With this added effect, the marquee over them seemed even more grand and ostentatious, but Bowser and Peach weren't paying it any mind. There were paying much more attention to the ticket list in front of them, advertising them many options for combinations of shows, meals, shows with meals, just dessert bars, different show times, seats, and backstage packages.

The boo running the ticket booth sighed dramatically, bobbing up and down as she waited for them to hurry up and decide. There were a few people in line behind them and their wagon of bears, but the ridiculous amount of combinations and options seemed to perplex them as well.

"We could go to the show at 7:00," Peach offered, "and then get the meal with it…and a seat on the third row."

"No, that doesn't work," Bowser groaned. They had gone through this process too much for his liking- it reminded him far too much of boring meetings. He supposed that if Peach wasn't the diplomat he was collaborating with, he would have stormed away in a hissy fit fifteen minutes ago. "They only offer the meals in rows 1, 5, and 10 and back."

"But the first row is taken," Peach muttered, "and rows 1-5 are for backstage pass holders only-"

"And the backstage stuff started at 5:30," Bowser finished.

"Well," Peach tried, biting the inside of her cheek. "Let's go back to the recorded show option at 6:30. We could get a fifth row seat. That way, we get the meal, the backstage pass, the show, and we have time afterwards, since it's a shorter show."

"Then we still have a few hours to do something else!" Bowser announced.

"But what would we do?" Peach asked, much more curious to herself than accusing. "We already decided that it wouldn't be smart to go back to the Cause-Play…"

Bowser laughed, nodding. They had discussed quite a few times beforehand about the fiasco they had caused at the contest, as well as how much of a chance Bowser had to win and the complete ridiculousness of the decision against Peach. They even discussed the drama they would cause by reentering, especially if those security guards were watching every entrance as they expected they were. Koopatrol rarely quit their focus, even if they didn't understand their job or its ridiculous nature- that's why Bowser liked using them so much. But what they hadn't discussed at length were their real reasons for not wanting to return to the contest.

Remembering the excruciating time apart was bad enough for Bowser. He knew that repeating the situation in the finals would be far worse. And Peach was thinking almost the same thing. Snapping back to their conversation of what to do, Bowser added, "I dunno. We'll think of something…but Peachy, didn't you say you wanted to come to see that Flurrie chick?"

"Yes…well…seeing a recorded Flurrie would be just as fun. She's not exactly the best company in person anyway; I don't mind."

"You wouldn't prefer her in person? I mean, it makes more sense to go with the 6:30 prerecorded show, but-"

"Let's do the prerecorded one then," Peach agreed, brightly. "6:30, fifth row." She turned to the boo and opened her mouth to ask.

"That won't work," the boo said before she had the chance to say anything. "The prerecorded shows don't offer meals to anyone but the first three rows, and those are taken." She blinked slowly at their exasperated expressions. "You'll have to try again."

"It would be easier if you would help us," Bowser snarled at the boo.

She was completely unlike any boo that Peach had previously met, neither shy nor intense and seemed much more like she was simply bored with her afterlife. "Not in the job description," she sighed. Peach was certain that, had she fingernails, she'd be filing them.

Just then, the theatre doors swung open and a large, floating, purple wind spirit with over exaggerated womanly features burst through. She was trailed by at least thirty eager fans, clutching notebooks and cameras. "And here," she sang, "is the façade of our lovely theatre. Of course you all have seen this beautiful sight before, while you were waiting in line like these poor sou- ohh, my!"

Flurrie, the purple spirit with hair to rival Ludwig's, floated over to Bowser and Peach with her backstage pass fans trailing her. She put out a hand for Bowser and Peach to shake, which was surprisingly more solid than not. "Lovely to see such dedicated fans of our royalty interested in the fine arts as well. Costuming is a large part of the performing arts, you know, so it's not too uncommon."

She smiled, pointing to Bowser and Peach as she looked back to her trailing fans. "Natural talent in the physical department is a great requirement for participation in Flurrie's Finest. Many of our actors are Duplighosts, as recruited by my good friend you have previously met, Dooplis. However, we also look for actors and actresses such as these two citizens who look like the parts they ought to portray. Not everyone can go off natural talent alone, dah'lings. That is one of many fields in which I stand…alone."

"Doesn't she mean float?" Bowser muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Flurrie spun around, her eyes boring into Bowser with eyes only a woman like Flurrie could have, her mouth a hard line. "Oh, so you're funny, too?" Her voice was surprisingly light, and it made sense as she turned around to face her fans, her expression just as jovial as her voice. "Aren't they just charming? With their costumes…and teddy bears…and jokes. Although, perhaps you could help them out to better understand Flurrie's backstage rules…"

"No interruptions," the gaggle of fans chimed, sounding eerily like a school class. Flurrie beamed at them.

"That's right. But perhaps these cute little guests didn't know the rules yet. Are you two planning on joining a backstage tour?"

"We don't know what we're doing yet," Peach answered. "The options are a little confusing and our attendant isn't being much help."

Flurrie floated closer to Bowser and Peach, stealing a glance at the boo. She raised an eyebrow at the diva as if to dare yell at her own employee. "Yes, well…she's rather new on the job. Not quite up on the schedules herself, if you know what I mean."

"I've been working here for five years," the boo corrected. "Longer than you h-"

"-And when you have an eternity of time left, I'm sure that's just a drop in the bucket," Flurrie laughed. "So, you two costumists, have you heard how wonderful our tours are? You get to spend all your time before and even a bit after the performance with moi! Don't you all think this is wonderful bonding time?" She turned back to her fans, her exaggerated bosom bobbing faster than Flurrie floated herself.

"Yes!" The fans all chimed, a few giggling and gripping hands ecstatically.

"Um," Peach added, already feeling quite satisfied with seeing her 'old friend', "we can't get tickets to the backstage tour because it's already started, and the boo said-"

Flurrie flew back over to Bowser and Peach, grabbing their wrists. She was surprisingly strong as she tugged them out of line, the wagon wheeling along with them. "Oh, nonsense. The tour starts when I want it to, and for you two, it starts right now. Free of charge. Because you two look just spiffy." She beamed at them, apparently forgiving Bowser for his interruption. The koopa King looked a little too scared to interrupt again, anyway.

"Did I tell you all how I'm such close personal friends with Princess Peach?" Flurrie asked her fans, releasing Bowser and Peach and floating back towards the doors. Hastily, her fans raced to follow her, Bowser and Peach caught up in their midst. Continuing, Flurrie said, "Yes, Mario and I travailed for months searching for Peach. We went to the deepest of seas, the driest of deserts, and even to the far reaches out on the moon to find her…"

"Is that true?" Bowser grunted to Peach as they ran along, keeping up with the 'tour'.

"Yeah…sorta. When Grodus kidnapped me, Flurrie was one of Mario's friends helping save me," Peach whispered in reply. "But Mario said that she didn't actually help that much…"

"Once we finally found her," Flurrie continued, "Peach and I became fast friends-" Bowser looked at Peach with surprise on his face. She smirked and shook her head, denying Flurrie's story. "We spent nearly every weekend together in the Mushroom Kingdom before I settled in Rougeport for my return to the thee-ay-tur, my true home." Peach giggled, shaking her head furtively again.

"And of course, Mario…oh ho ho, Mario…" Flurrie held her silence for dramatic effect, spinning around and bending low as if she was keeping this a secret between her and her fans. "I never told Peach the extent of our relationship. If I had, I doubt she would have wanted to be my friend quite as long." Her fat, red lips drew into a long smile as she waited for her audience to react.

Finally, a short koopa near the front pipped, "What was the extent of your relationship, Madame Flurrie?"

Flurrie straightened up, brushing a hand through her dramatic hair. "Let's just say, it's a good thing Mario isn't diabetic." As Flurrie had no hips, she placed her hands up much higher than necessary, evidently to maximize her already unrealistic amount of cleavage. "Because he sure loved getting his sugah!"

Bowser coughed to cover a laugh, turning to Peach with a raised eyebrow. With the excited gabber Flurrie's fans were now indulging themselves in, Peach could speak and not be heard at all. "I don't think that's true," she laughed. "Mario was always terrified of Flurrie and her… 'sugar'. But who knows."

"I think you should let Mario have Flurrie. Then I get you all to myself!" Bowser said with a bit of a triumphant roar.

Peach smiled, snaking her fingers between Bowser's. "Trust me, if Mario even considered Flurrie as a love-interest, I wouldn't even want to be on his list. Bad taste, you see."

"In that case, I think we should just leave. Now. I can't even bare to look at her!"

Peach laughed, shaking her head lightly. "It'll be a good show, Bowser. Just don't forget that I'm going to be sitting next to you and I promise you'll make it out alive." She tugged him forward, following the gaggle of fans as they got deeper into the theatre.

Bowser grinned as she pulled, more than eager to catch up. Sitting next to her for a few hours in a darkened theatre sounded perfect, no matter what…or who… they were subjected to watching. The question wasn't if he'd make it out alive, but if he'd ever want to leave.

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

The worst part about being a kid, Junior decided, was going to school. School was boring, stupid, and a waste of time. Worst of all, Junior had to take his classes by himself. Royal Koopalings hadn't received public education for generations, and Bowser's children were no exceptions. And as the youngest by far, none of Junior's siblings were in his classes…well, Lemmy was in his reading class. And Roy had somehow never passed any of his math classes, so he and Junior had "Understanding Multiplication" together. And Wendy refused to dissect absolutely anything, including owl pellets, so she joined Junior for science every once in awhile.

But history…history was horrible. One full hour of his smelly, old book and a smellier, older teacher. Mr. Timpermack wheezed when he was speaking and fell asleep whenever he wasn't, leaving his desk with a sizable drool stain. The only reason he still had a job was because he was one of Kamek's first toady friends, and the important magikoopa held his loyalties. At the moment, Junior was doodling in his already 'well loved' textbook while Mr. Timpermack drawled on about something on the board.

"Bowser Junior," he wheezed, adjusting his glasses so thick they seemed to spiral, "Bowser Junior are you paying attention?" He wobbled over, his crooked spinner squeaking slightly with each step. By the time Mr. Timpermack managed to reach the desk, Junior had changed his page and flashed his well practiced good-student-grin.

"Of course I'm paying attention, Mr. Timpermack. The class material is fascinating. And may I say, red is definitely your color."

The toady teacher straightened up, his smile revealing his painfully fake teeth. Junior's forced line had been the same exact sentence rehearsed his entire year, and, in fact, passed down from koopaling to koopaling. It seemed the only one who had said it honestly was Ludwig, but the ailing teacher was never the wiser. "Well, that's good, Bowser Junior. Because I didn't think you were, and I was going to give you a pop-quiz. But since you like the unit so much, perhaps we'll just delve a little deeper in. Now, Bowser Junior, can you tell me about the War of the Two Kingdoms?"

"Ummm….isn't that all of the wars?"

"Very astute, Bowser Junior," Mr. Timpermack chuckled. "In a way, yes. But during the ten-year span we are discussing, the War of the Two Kingdoms relates specifically to the war that precedes the first time your parents met for the first time in civilized company."

Junior stared at Mr. Timpermack blankly. He constantly tried to relate history to Junior, insisting that "history reflects and impacts the lives of everyone on our planet, especially royalty". But lately, he'd grown accustomed to relating things to Junior's "parents", which apparently meant Bowser and any female the book mentioned. Unsure of whether Mr. Timpermack was making a joke about Junior's suspicious and mysterious parentage or if he was just senile, he rarely made a comment about it.

"You see," he continued, "the kingdoms are usually assumed to be The Darklands and the Mushroom Kingdom, but it's actually the only war between mere citizens of The Darklands and the Waffle Kingdom. Albeit, they were powerful citizens, but citizens nonetheless. Fascinating, yes?"

Junior grunted, opened his notebook, and returned to doodling a rather unflattering caricature of Mr. Timpermack.

"You see, at the time, the Chestnut King was still just a goomba named 'Goomboss' working under your grandfather, the king. He worked with his father, and as part of a mission to spy on other territories, they went to the Waffle Kingdom. Goomboss met the young Princess Éclair and the two fell madly in love. However, not only was Goomboss not a citizen of the Waffle Kingdom, he was also not a king. Goomboss demanded laws to be changed to allow Éclair and himself to wed, but the absurd demand from a visitor went ignored…until Goomboss and the rest of his father's legion waged war on the small county, claiming they were backed by the entire empire. They lost.

"Absolutely no one died. It's called a war, but was really only a war of words. The most interesting thing is what happens in the future…but of course you know what happens in the future."

The silent went on for a few minutes before Junior realized Mr. Timpermack had expected him to answer. Hastily, Junior first checked the clock (37 horrible minutes left) and then his teacher. Unfortunately, Mr. Timpermack hadn't reached his desk yet, so he was still awake and still waiting for an answer. "Um…" Junior sighed, "I dunno."

"Yes, you do!" the toady assured. "We covered the Princess Éclair issue four months ago, Bowser Junior. You got 98% on the test."

"Ohhhh…no wonder I don't remember…" Junior muttered out loud. The better he did on a test, the more likely it was he cheated. Once he realized the inhabitants weren't really waffles, éclairs, and crepes, Junior had completely lost interest and resorted to stealing the test answers and copying them on the back of his handkerchief. "Is it gonna be on the next test?" He could probably find the answers again if he had to.

"Recapping for your benefit," the toady went on, ignoring Junior's question. "Goomboss was still interested in becoming the husband of Princess Éclair years later. He never forgot the laws that forbid their love, and begged King Bowser for a royal position for years. During the Star Road incident, he finally had his wish granted, and attempted to wed his love. However, the Prime Minister prevented their meeting by transforming King Chestnut into a monster of toxic goo. King Chestnut took Princess Éclair to wed anyway, and the Prime Minister told Luigi it was a kidnapping and asked for the goo's destruction. Éclair stopped the brutal murder, the Minister was arrested, and Chestnut and Eclair finally got their wedding. Their happy ending does not affect the history of the Darklands, and so we will now return to the specifics of the War of the Two Kingdoms."

Junior groaned aloud, just barely hearing the teacher's request for him to turn to a page in his book. Instead, he waited for him to sit down at his desk, remove his bottle-cap glasses, wipe them, put them back on, and stare around aimlessly. As he did so, Junior began to count down from 32. On precisely the last second, Mr. Timpermack's head hit the desk and his hood puddled around his face.

A grin spread across Junior's face, fading fast as the familiar now what settled in. Bored, he flipped to the pages on the War of the Two Kingdoms. To his great surprise, Wendy had apparently loved this section. She had written notes in all the margins (dotting her I's with hearts religiously) and even drawn a few pictures, and most surprisingly of all, they seemed to be intelligent text-to-world connections, not just her name sandwiched with "Mrs" and some celebrity's last name.

The image in the book had a beautiful teenage human holding a goomba in her arms. For whatever reason, Wendy had scrawled 'Peach' over the girl and 'Daddy' over the goomba. "What kind of idiot is Wendy?" Junior snarled, reading her other margins best he could.

Junior's eyes snapped to a crude picture Wendy had drawn, illustrating a scene where a stick figure with an "L" hat held a hammer over his head, ready to crush the goop monster. A stick figure with a dress was crying, shouting "But I love him!" next to them. Here, Wendy had drawn an arrow to the hammer-wielding character and written "Mario", labeling the monster and crying girl as Daddy and Peach, respectively.

Now that's just stupid, Junior thought. Why would she label Luigi as Mario? He looked through the section, a few names and locations crossed out and relabeled by his sister. Éclair was always Peach. Goomboss, also known as King Chestnut, was always Daddy. Mario was the only written-in name that seemed to take many forms, as Wendy thought was apparently both Minister Crepe and Luigi.

One specific note with Wendy's bubbly handwriting seemed to be written to Roy, who shared the same history class as Wendy. He failed that, too…just not as many times as math. "Stop being an idiot, Roy. Its obvious. Éclair isn't allowed to marry the chesthair dude she luvs becuz they have stupid laws. And then some guy turns chesthair into a goop monster, so when he does kidnap Éclair 2 marry her, evrybudy think he's being a creeper and try 2 kill him. But Éclair stops them becuz she luvs him, then he's not a monster anymore. Éclair=Peach. chesthair=daddy"

"u r so stupid thats nothing lik pops and peach u idiot" That horrible handwriting was obviously Roy. It also took Junior almost three minutes just to read.

"Yeah it is," she retorted underneath, the note now curling around the corner.

A pattern of no's and yes's (interjected with a lot of crude language) followed until Wendy added in furious pink pen, "IT'S A METAFOR."

"dude this aint english class" Roy had added. "butt how is that anything lik dad and peach peach dont love pops and pops aint goop"

Junior completely agreed with Roy, at least about the goop thing, but it seemed like at that time the bell had rung, because Wendy's pink pen had started to write something, then left a signature swoop of pulling her pen off the page. Wendy's annotations had covered the entire unit, but nothing explained it to Junior. How was Éclair anything like Mama Peach, if Éclair had loved King Chestnut from the beginning? And no sorcerer had ever made Papa into a pile of toxic goo. There weren't any laws preventing their marriage, there wasn't any jealous Minister in the way. He'd have to talk to Wendy about her stupidity the next time he saw her…or maybe ask Mr. Timpermack.

Freezing in his seat, Junior's entire body went cold. He couldn't do that! He could never ask Mr. Timpermack, and asking Wendy was just as bad as sealing his own death certificate. And ask Roy? Never in a million years. No, no one could ever know Junior was curious…it would make him seem nerdy. Actually being interested in history's relation with his life was as taboo as being nice. The only solution was to forget about it.

Or complain to Wendy that her writing had dyed his pages pink, and convince her to explain at the same time. That might work…

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

Night was falling thick and fast as Daisy's jeep bumped up the road, the crenellated roof of the Sarasaland castle just in view over the horizon. "Do you realize this is actually the first time you guys are both staying the night at my place? That silly adventure just went and ruined our plans." She spun around and grinned. To her pleasure, Mario answered back with an honest smile.

"Pretty good adventure, huh?" she continued, facing forward.

"Si," Mario said. "I think the Dark-a-ness may have been a bit-a harder than Bowser is, sometimes." He laughed, beginning a story about when Bowser had kidnapped Peach and brought her to a castle of his in the middle of the jungle. He was allergic to the plants or something, because the only 'attack' Bowser ever tried was sneezing out huge balls of flame. Mario, Luigi, and Daisy all laughed as he detailed their fight, Mario just flipping and hopping to completely embarrass the Koopa King the entire time.

"…and of course-a, once Bowser was-a defeated and gave-a back the key to the-a jungle, Peach was-a sneezing too. I would have-a thought Bowser would-a been more than glad to get-a rid of that jungle. It was-a very…sneezy."

By the time he reached the end of his story, Daisy had pulled into her royal garage and several attendants were rushing out, helping them get out of the jeep. Daisy was chatting to one friendly-looking koopa as she adjusted her skirt, and then a scraggly voice behind her called her name. Daisy's face went white. Slowly, she turned to the side to face the man, taller than her and with sheer disappointment on his face. "Hi…Dad…"

The King of Sarasaland sighed, shaking his head slowly. He itched his chin under his salt-and-pepper beard, still quiet. Finally, he spoke up. "I can understand your outbursts of curiosity. I've grown to accept your characteristics, as unprofessional as many of them are. But Daisy…I was contacted by some of the agents at Tzitzilow yesterday."

Luigi and Mario went silent, looking at Daisy. Of course, Mario didn't know this entire thing had not only been a ruse, but that the king didn't even know Daisy had the gems. But Luigi felt more and more awkward as father and daughter looked into each other's eyes.

"Daisy…how could you? You put not only the lives of your friends, not only the lives of your people and the reputation of our royal name, but the entire universe…no, two universes…at stake! For what? Entertainment? A fun, little collection? You had no reason to have those dangerous gems in the first place, but even LESS reason to remo-"

Daisy squeaked, leaping forward as she covered her father's mouth with her gloves. The king's eyes narrowed in frustration and he went to remove her hands. He held her hands firmly in his tight grip, glaring down at her. "What seems to be the problem, your highness?"

"I don't think we should discuss this in present company, your majesty," Daisy muttered. "Can we continue this conversation somewhere more private?"

"Would you prefer the dungeons, or the torture chamber?"

xxxx0o0o0o0o0o0o0xxxx

Finally, after almost two hours of following Flurrie's curvaceous form around the theatre, listening to her go on about herself, her show, her "friends", and her successes, the actress led the fans to their rows. She stopped Bowser and Peach. "If you don't mind, could we three speak in private?" She smiled and batted her eyelashes, as if it would convince them to choose to go.

"What if we don't want to?" Bowser grumbled, looking eagerly towards the seat Flurrie had personally picked for him.

"Oh, you don't want to, I suppose I wouldn't mind too much," she replied, that same bright voice with the stern expression as when she had reprimanded Bowser before. "But anyway, let's go to my dressing room. You can leave the teddy bears here…unless you'd like to bring one as a token of your appreciation for my courtesy in having our little conversation."

Feeling forced, Bowser and Peach followed the actress with a single black bear. It didn't take long to reach her dressing room, as Flurrie had it situated just next to the seating area. She floated over to a couch and "sat", stretching her arms across the back of it. She smiled wide as Bowser and Peach awkwardly looked for seats for themselves, settling on her creaky-looking armchair and vanity chair, respectively. "So…you've heard plenty about me. Let's hear about you two."

Bowser looked at Peach and grinned. He watched her as she sat up a little straighter in her chair, taking his permission to explain. After all, it was still her turn to define the relationship. She should know their "history" of being secret lovers the best. "Well, we met years ago. He's a very persistent koopa…it seemed like every night he would come to visit me. But we're from practically different worlds; my people don't understand him, his people don't understand me. Those secret visits are all we ever had.

"After awhile, I began to fall in love with him as much as he had fallen in love with me. But our families would have none of it. They forbade him from ever coming to visit me and nearly barricaded me in my own home to prevent me from seeing him. But that couldn't stop us…we would arrange secret meetings, places we could go to see each other unsuspected, ways w-"

"Fascinating," Flurrie interrupted. "Sounds like a real drama…have you considered writing it into a play?"

"Well, I-"

"I don't believe I ever asked your names," Flurrie continued, as if her question had been hypothetical and Peach was the rude one for attempting to answer. "How silly of me."

"Bowser and Peach, of course," Peach replied with a laugh. She instantly realized her mistake when the room drew silent.

"Honey," Bowser seethed, "she means our…real…names."

Flurrie raised an eyebrow, her gaze shifting back on Peach's blushing face.

"Oh…right…our real names. I'm sorry, we got all dolled up for this whole 'Bowser and Peach' thing. I get so in-character, and then I had to…tell that story, and so my mind was just so around Bowser and Peach…um, not that our story is anything like theirs; I mean, Bowser and Peach aren't…um…t-together, and they…" Peach swallowed, avoiding the eyes of Flurrie, bright with laughter. She sought out Bowser and he smiled at her, a face that was full of compassion and adoration, even as she embarrassed herself. She took a deep breath and tried to smile back at him.

"I missed your names in all that," Flurrie chuckled.

"Oh," Peach gasped. "Hugo and Rose."

"Hugo, really?" she asked, turning to Bowser. "I guess it suits you…"

"You should hear my cousins' names," Bowser bragged.

"No, I don't think we have time," Flurrie replied. She floated back up and went to a mini-fridge on one side with a cocktail bar. She spoke to them as she prepared herself a refreshment, saying, "I was planning on inviting you two to join the Flurrie's Finest in Entertainment and Eats troupe. You both could instantly pull off Bowser and Peach. We haven't had your kind of physical mimicry with a non-Duplighost cast member since…well…ever. And duplighosts are charging an awful lot lately." She sipped her drink thoughtfully, as if contemplating the purposes of their charge spike. "Anyway. I'm not sure you're actually up to the stress of acting…it's much more difficult than talking to me, as intimidating as I am." She tittered at her own comment.

"Are you saying… Rose is a bad actress?" Bowser snarled, starting to look threatening as he dug his claws into the chair and the mane hairs on the base of his neck bristled.

"I'm saying that she might be. If you're interested, I suppose we could arrange an audition. Even if I just have you two be background characters."

"How would Bowser and Peach be background characters?" Peach asked.

"We would make it work," Flurrie replied with a wave of her hand.

"Well, thank you for the offer, but Hugo and I wouldn't be able to arrange that. We don't live locally. And we really never see each other, either."

"Although it would be a fantastic cover for more alone time," Bowser interjected with a salacious growl. He looked at Peach with an expression that showed more lust than he'd dare show under circumstances they weren't playing a part.

Perhaps too in character, Peach's face flushed and she stammered what was most likely a thank you as she tried to collect herself, thrusting the teddy bear at Flurrie and practically tripping out the door. She grabbed Bowser's hand and whisked him out with her, Bowser chortling as they left.

"Enjoy the show, dah'lings," Flurrie airily said while the door shut behind them.

"I don't know what that bumbling blueberry thinks she's talking about," Bowser muttered. "I think you're an excellent actress. Your stutters are particularly convincing."

Peach's blush hadn't quite disappeared and she still couldn't look into Bowser's eyes. She decided their ploy was a bad idea…maybe if she'd decided they would pretend to be old high-school friends, reunited for a perfectly platonic purpose, she wouldn't have to deal with the Return of the Butterflies from last night. "Right. Thanks," she managed to say, focusing her thoughts on the food they would most likely be served at the dinner.

Bowser raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Peach. "Know what I haven't told you in awhile?" Peach didn't answer, so Bowser grabbed her hand. He knew she wasn't going to look at his face, so he didn't bother looking at hers, but his voice was his husky purr that he'd taken to using the previous night. "That I love you."

Lovely, Peach thought. All thoughts of food had vanished as her stomach flipped. "Yeah…you haven't said that for awhile. I was almost immune to it." She gulped and looked up at him. Feeling her gaze, Bowser was thrilled to meet her blue eyes. "But I haven't forgotten."

Bowser chuckled, hugging her close. Peach willingly let herself be wrapped in his strong arms and threw her own around him. "Don't you ever."

The butterflies were worth it, Peach decided. Hugs like Bowser's didn't come from anyone else, and that wasn't considering the scales or spiked accessories. "I won't."

Author's Note: Sorry you had such a lame chapter to deal with for being late. I have some interesting stuff in and planned for 39. And we're getting AWFULLY close to the next (more fast-paced, I hope) part of the story, so that's something to look forward to!

And about the mariowiki bit- According to them, Goomboss's name in almost every language except English is "The Chestnut King". The wiki people have a suspicion they're the same guy and I took it a million levels too far. :D

I should also mention that school isn't giving me a lot of homework, per se, but college applications and scholarship essays and art portfolios and everything else I have to deal with is sapping a LOT of my time I usually write with. I don't want to get back to my every-chapter-late "schedule", so I'll try my best. Hope you're enjoying your September so far!

-Razzi