Cherry- Quit anticipating the bad. It's like you don't trust me anymore. Mia- Until you convince me otherwise, you're a flying zebra.
Readers- You're all sorts of awesome. I won 3rd place for Newbie Author in the Fandom Awards! And when I say "I", I mean "we."
Thanks. *steals your cupcakes anyways*
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Intermix & Innocence
He's supposed to be safe.
With crutches, Rowdy's harmless, a boy too sick and innocent to really cause me any harm. He's weak and fragile, and it gives me the upper hand.
Until he throws them across the dimly lit room.
They fall somewhere between the hotel couch and the loss of my innocence. My mouth has gone dry and I drink him in. He hovers halfway over me, one leg pulled between mine as my gown hitches upward.
Rowdy pulls the two large bobby pins from my curls and my hair falls around my shoulder. I need the protection, somewhere to hide from his heavy love-drunken gaze. If for a second I think I can disappear from his view, I'm wrong.
"Fuck, you taste sweet." Rowdy nibbles on the side of my neck, soft kisses that intermix with his tongue that drags along my collarbone. Instinctively, the tips of my fingers run across the hairs on his jaw. It makes him cradle his hand under my chin and my brown eyes meet his.
"Can I have you?" It's a question that as a teenager, I don't understand. My breath hitches, but he won't let me answer. He pecks the fine hairs behind my ear, blowing softly.
"Can I make you mine?" As if I'm not already. He knows he owns me, just like he owns the cells in his body; I'm a part of him that I gave away the day we met.
My heart strings pull and he tugs them, making me the weak one. "Please," I beg and he groans, kissing me in a crazy, I-need-you, what-is-air sort of way. He makes me dependent on him, as if I don't need anything else to exist.
Rowdy is methodically slow, unzipping my dress on the side and watching the skin peek through. When the thick strap on my left shoulder falls he reaches over, caressing me as he moves it down. His touch makes me shiver and my chest is exposed.
Rowdy licks the pad of his thumb and his knuckles brush against me he reaches for my right breast. The cool air and his warm finger are contradicting and I tremble, sinking beneath him.
"Oh!" My mouth parts open as he dips his head to suck on one nipple while skimming the other. I don't know how my hands end up in his disheveled hair, but they do. He circles and licks and I moan his name in blasphemy.
He speeds up his motions and his tongue as I grip him harder. My hips rise off the bed, but his leg keeps me there, steady and locked into place.
He'll never let me go.
"Rowdy…" Please. Please. Please. I beg for everything. I plead for nothing. At some point, someone's going to fall and it's going to be me.
Rowdy finally releases me to catch his breath, but I reach out for him, yanking his shirt buttons out of order. He struggles to pull the sleeves off and then tosses it onto the floor.
He's always been too grown for his age, both his words and his body. Coarse threads of hair spread over his chest and he's sixteen going on forever. I touch him tenderly, exploring avenues I never get to treasure.
My dress is in a pool around my waist and Rowdy is anxious to get rid of it. I help him and we yank together until both my gown and panties have fallen off the bed. He's slow and careful, climbing over me.
"I'm going to taste you, Cotton baby," he whispers as he hovers just over my lips. We breathe the same air and my legs clench around his waist. I whimper and he smirks.
"You want that? You want my tongue in that pussy?" My fingernails dig into his back and he kisses me hungrily. He only breaks to kiss and lick me as he scoots down.
Chin. Neck. Chest. Belly button. There.
Rowdy has no idea how he looks between my thighs. I try to think of other things, good things, but they all come back to him. My heart beats rapidly as I grip the sheets. He parts me, with two arms gripping me tightly. He slides his thumb over my skin, where I'm swollen and needy.
"Fuck, baby, you're wet," he says hoarsely. His voice is low and hot—burning. Rowdy's mossy green eyes gaze up at me as he kisses me one time.
This can't be real. My body freezes and lifts, it moves high and it stills. I've never, ever, ever had someone kiss me down there and it's heaven on earth. The sheet twists in my hands 'cause I need more, more, more.
"I'm going to kiss you, Cottonseed."
He does it again and my voice is stuck in my throat, refusing to be set free.
"I'm going to lick you." His tongue traces from the top to the bottom and I am gone, gone, gone.
"Please." It seems to be the only word I can get out since we've entered this room. My blood is running too hot and I'm scared I'm going to burn alive.
"No." Rowdy pauses, but continues circling with his thumb as I lose my mind.
"No?" I choke out. Why is he stopping? I want … need … demand him to keep going.
"I lied," he whispers. "I ain't going to kiss you."
Cold air drifts between my legs.
"I ain't going to lick you."
I'm on the verge of tears.
"I'm going to fuck your pussy with my mouth." He dives in and I scream his name like it's the Ten Commandments. It's wrong, but he's deep. It's improper, but he's not even trying to go easy.
He's shattering me and I am dying, dying, dying a thousand times.
"Fuck!" I don't care that I'm cursing. I can't control it. His tongue does all sorts of things I've never imagined. He likes that he's all green in my world of red. He colors it with love until I'm dizzy, with affection until I'm blind.
I can't see anything more than distorted dots as he slides a finger inside of me, pumping as he continues to work his mouth. I have nothing to hold on to but these damn sheets, and they're not enough for my boy.
He feels good. Too, too good.
My hips buck, but he grips me harder. "Rowdy!" He has no idea my belly is in a hundred and one knots, or that he's breaking them with the motion of his tongue. I scream over and over, and his hand reaches up to silence me. His fingers curl in my mouth as I release everything in this dark blur I'm in.
Tears slip out of my eyes and Rowdy licks one final time before looking up.
"Baby?" I shake my head, unable to speak. He slides up towards me as I cover my eyes. Nothing's wrong, I want to say. Everything is right.
Somehow he knows and his lips meet mine, giving me back some sense of myself. I taste myself on him and I am too far gone to care. Rowdy shushes my tears with whispered words and soft kisses.
"I love you," he murmurs, over and over. It's like a chant of devotion, recited only for me to hear. He pulls me apart, but mends me back together. He soothes me with sweetness and draws me back from drifting.
My clit throbs and I want him now. It's my decision to give him all of me; I choose him and him alone.
"Rowdy, I need you," I cry softly, but my body is already at another level as I tug at his pants. I don't have the patience to unbutton them, so I try to yank them. Rowdy laughs and it vibrates in my ear.
"Slow, baby," he breathes, shifting so his jeans fall down. "We've got time. I want to love you slowly."
"Love you like we've got forever." I blink as he settles between my legs, his hard muscle throbbing against me. He cradles my face and hitches my leg around him. I strain not to push against him as he moves himself up and down between my folds.
"Love you like time doesn't exist." My back arches and cling to him as his lips meet mine, wet, sticky, and warm. He strokes himself and I can practically feel myself leaving this room. It's an out-of-body experience, the kind I don't even believe in. Rowdy keeps his eyes on me as I gasp.
"I want to love you eternally." I suck in every ounce of air as his pushes just inside of me. It burns, burns, burns. It aches and it fucking hurts.
Tears slip again, but I don't want him to stop. Keep going. My beautiful boy pauses, but I reach around him, grasping his thick flesh and pushing him further. I cry out, because it's too much.
But I'm convinced that it's not enough.
Rowdy lifts my hips as he sinks into me, inch by painful inch. Somewhere along the way we both stop breathing, aware that we've given something the other is willing to take.
I'm not losing my virginity, I'm giving it away with a damn bow on top.
I try to budge, but he keeps me still. "You're so fucking warm. Don't move, Cotton baby. I don't want to—not yet."
Both of his hands grasp mine, but I keep my leg hitched around him. He's willing, but he's trying to hold on to this moment. My cheeks flush, and I'm on the brink of falling apart.
He has to move. He has to.
He whispers, "Hold tight," but I'm not listening. I clench my fingers into his backside, pulling him inward and making him plunge into me with a force neither of us is ready for.
I scream and cry out.
I'm desperate.
And there's not a verse in the world that could convince me otherwise.