A huge thank you to WitchyVampireGirl for her Cotton Belt Rec on the site Robnation (dot. org)... I only had to pay half-price this time. And Cherry, 'cause she keeps secrets like nobody's business.
Mia- You're my real life Rowdy.
Readers- I love you like truck kisses and leather seat forgiveness.
Chapter Thirty-Five: Formulators & Futures
"…Happy Birthday Dear Jessie, Cotton, Rowdy … and Emmett in two more weeks, happy birthday to you!"
The four of us laugh over the gigantic cake, blowing out the gazillion candles. That's the thing about having big families—when it's one person's birthday, it's everyone's birthday. So since the four of us all have birthdays in March, our parents force us to celebrate together.
Emmett sticks his entire hand in the cake and stuffs it into his face, getting icing everywhere.
Sigh.
Rowdy clears his throat and everyone stops clapping inside of the dining room. He passes a gurgling Harley Gene over to Esme. "Since we're all here together, I'd like to take the opportunity to tell Cotton Happy Birthday and that I love her. And with that love comes feelings I've never experienced. That is why I want to say, Cotton, I love you with all of my heart. I never thought I'd find someone like you, and now that I'm 17 and older and wiser, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you…"
Rowdy drops to one knee and holds out a velvet covered black box. "AnnaBella Rain Cotton Swan, will you mar-"
I gasp and hold a hand to my open mouth.
"The hell she will!" Papa storms forward, smacking Rowdy on the black of the head. "Get your ass up, boy. She's 16, not 32!"
He lifts Rowdy up by the back of his shirt as Rowdy screams, "Ow!" and rubs the back of his head.
"Papa!" AJ runs towards us, pulling Papa away. "You're messing up the moment! Let him finish! Go on, Rowdy; ask my sister to marry you and stop sinning in your fornicating ways!"
"Yeah!" Jessie yells. "Quit formulatin'!"
Papa looks like he's about to explode, Ma tries to calm him down, Esme and Carlisle can't stop laughing, and Jessie calls the whole room a bunch of formulators.
Then to top it all off, Jasper tosses a handful of condoms into the air like confetti.
Happy freakin' birthday to me.
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.
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"Honestly, Charlie, we weren't that much older. Look at how happy they are!" Ma directs a look at us and Rowdy and I plaster on huge smiles.
"They're too young, Renee! And Rowdy just started working for me last month! How is he supposed to take care of my little girl? They're still in school!"
"I thought you said folks didn't need an education," Ma reminded him quietly.
"I meant … but they…" Papa is at a loss for words.
"Just hold on here." Reverend Weber stands in the living room, trying to calm the chaos. "Now my Bible says the Lord would rather have two people marry than for them to sin in lust …"
Papa glares at me and I blush. Damn you, AJ. I'm stealing my boots back the second I get a chance.
"And I, for one, would never disrespect the Lord, amen?"
Esme shouts amen and Carlisle squeezes her hand to shut her up.
"She's too young," Papa repeats bitterly. "Rowdy is still in school, he ain't got a place of his own, and that's my little girl."
I snap my fingers with glee. "Wait! My trust fund! You said I could have my trust fund when I got married. So…"
"Now, you listen here. This ain't what I meant!" Papa crosses his arms and shakes his head.
"You can't take it back, Charlie. That's what's written in the contract," Ma reminds him.
"And I played that last football game with the college scouts there," Rowdy adds. "They've already promised me a full scholarship and everything. I'll be playing ball and get drafted into the leagues no time. You know how good I am Charlie. You said so yourself."
Papa huffs as Reverend Weber begins quoting scripture. "First Corinthians, chapter seven, verse nine: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."
Jessie runs in from the kitchen when she's supposed to be upstairs playing. The adults are having a private conversation about the status of Rowdy and I's future, but she doesn't care.
Jessie hugs Papa with two arms, begging and pleading. "Don't let 'em burn, Papa. Rowdy said he was gonna teach me how to drive and Cotton tucks me in every night. If you don't let them marry, I'll cry Papa. I'll cry and I'll burn with 'em, 'cause I'm a formulator too! I formulate day and night. I formulate in the kitchen and I formulate in the bathtub-"
Even Papa can't hide the grin behind his mustache. "That's enough, Jessie."
Jessie runs and sits on Rowdy's lap, wrapping an arm around him. "Let 'em marry, Papa. I wanna be a flower girl. And I promise to eat all the taters you want. Please? "
Papa says he'll think about it.
At least he stopped chasing Rowdy around the yard with his rifle.
It's progress, at least.
.
.
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Once we return to school after spring break, it finally sinks in how much has changed. Jacob Black moved to a different school. He's across town at Creek Bend High, and it's been much more peaceful. Seems like Billy's drinking took the best of him and they lost their house. In a way, I'm glad. That fall, after Jake and Rowdy got into that fight, Jake just gave us the stink eye every time he saw us. He never said anything, he just looked like he was cursing us out from a distance.
The Weber girls eventually got what came to them. After that rumor about Rowdy and Angela spread like wildfire, Reverend Weber heard it from Deacon Biers, who heard it from Riley. It wasn't true, of course, but the fact that a young lady was bragging about having sex in a classroom didn't sit well with the pastor.
They all dress in long sleeves and long denim skirts now, sulking about bitterly. One false move and he threatened to ship them to a boarding school. So, I just wait on the day when they'll eventually spread their skank elsewhere.
Life has definitely been calmer. I know Papa has yet to approve our impending engagement, but I'm ready. Rowdy is it for me. Ever since that dreadful day in September, it seems like our love has only grown stronger. I've learned to appreciate the ups and the downs, but with Rowdy it's been nothing but bliss.
My boy appears out of nowhere, plopping his tray on the table alongside Riley.
"Baby." He greets me and plants a kiss on my cheek before giving a high-five to Riley. "Did y'all hear about the cafeteria catastrophe?"
"No," we answer simultaneously.
"Yeah, so you know how today we were supposed to have chicken on rice instead of hamburgers?"
We all nod and Rowdy continues.
"So one of the lunch ladies cooked the chickens too long and they exploded. I heard the kitchen almost blew up. Can you believe it?" He holds his stomach and laughs while Jasper just shakes his head.
"Bro."
"Really, Rowdy?" Charlotte replies sarcastically.
"Too soon," I say. "It will always be too soon."
Rowdy's chuckles calm down and he gulps. "Sorry … I just … never mind."
We all groan at his attempt at humor and Rowdy changes the subject.
"Senior skip day is coming up. They're going to the river and cooking out and everything. Y'all wanna go?"
"None of us are seniors," Riley reminds him. "And if we skip class, we'll get caught."
Thank you, deacon's son, for being the voice of reason.
"No, we won't." Rowdy digs into his backpack, pulling out half sheets of yellow paper. He passes them out to us and I flip it over in my hand.
"Forks Medical Center Visitation Excuse?" I read aloud. "How'd you get these?"
"Garrett," he grins, speaking of his physical therapist. "I have my medical papers I'm allowed to use all year, but these are for y'all. You can just say you were visiting me. They're legit. See? Garrett's already signed the bottom."
"I'm in," Jasper says immediately. "I need a break this Friday anyways. I've got two tests I'm not ready for."
"I don't know…" Charlotte Rose acts as if she's holding a burning Bible. "This wouldn't be right, us fibbing and all."
"I'm with her," Riley agrees.
Rowdy tilts back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. "Fine. Y'all stay here while my brother and I go lie out in the sun all day. We'll be swimming and eating hotdogs and having a good ol' time…"
He lets the thoughts sink into our head while Charlotte groans. "Swimming would be fun…"
"That's the spirit," Rowdy grins.
"And it is supposed to be a hot day," Riley chips in. I can practically see the wheels turning in his blond head.
I'm not one for swimming in murky waters, but I'm all about spending the day with Rowdy. "What time are we leaving?"
Rowdy laughs and kisses me on the cheek. "That's my girl!"
Charlotte Rose and Riley eventually cave, but there's a huge debate over who's driving. Riley and Rowdy get into an argument. Rowdy claims he's a better driver, but he doesn't even have a license. Carlisle just lets him take the truck whenever he pleases. Riley wins, but when Rowdy smirks, I know he hadn't lost at all.
It was his plan the entire time.
Sneaky, sneaky boy.
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Seniors are noisy and obnoxious. They're everywhere and even though Chickamaw River stretches out across towns, it seems like it isn't big enough for them. The five of us set up a spot near the camping ground picnic tables as seniors start passing out beer from their coolers.
Riley was right—it's hot as the dickens out here and my sundress is already sticking to my chest and thighs. I let Charlotte Rose borrow an extra pair of my sunglasses as Jasper strips down to his swimming trunks.
"Y'all coming?" he asks, taking off his flip flops.
Riley is already running past him as Charlotte Rose shyly removes her t-shirt to reveal a one-piece bathing suit. She refuses to take off her shorts and begins to follow behind him.
"Cotton?"
I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. "No thank you. I heard a school of killer piranhas ate a boy whole last year. I think I'll just work on my tan."
I don't know if it's true, but it's enough to keep me out of the water.
She laughs and calls me a scaredy-cat before chasing after Jasper.
Rowdy watches me as I slip off my dress to reveal a white bikini. He leans over and grabs my bottom before I get a chance to sit down on the towel with him. His skin is even darker than mine, and I love how it brings out his eyes. I can't help but notice how his long blue shorts accentuate everything.
I sit down next to him and we lie back, basking in the sun. He pushes loose strands of hair back from my face and tucks them behind my ear.
"Are you glad you came?"
"Ugh, you have no idea," I groan dramatically. "I needed this. I'm so wrapped up in school I forget to breathe sometimes."
"That's what I'm here for," he grins. "To help you relax and take a break."
His fingers travel over the edge of my bikini top, skimming the fabric. I don't think he realizes what he does to me, how my chest rises and falls at the slightest touch.
"Cut that out," I murmur. "Someone will see us."
"Who?" he asks. I push my sunglasses up and sure enough, not a damn person is paying attention to us. Girls squeal as they get chucked into the water and a group of senior football players are drinking by the coolers. It's as if we're in our own world.
He tugs at the strings of my top like he's going to untie it. I don't even stop him. He makes me stupid-drunk and I don't have an ounce of alcohol in me.
"I just want to see them," he murmurs.
"You've seen my boobs plenty of times," I remind him.
"Yeah," he agrees, sliding down the cups until they fall below my breasts. He's propped up on his elbow, and his one arm blocks me from the view of anyone curious enough to look this way. "But not like this. Here we are, surrounded by this deep river and the shining sun and all this perfect creation, and you're still the most beautiful thing out here."
I moan as he kisses one breast. How does he do it? How does he make me melt like butter and forget my own name? He says all these words that I just eat up. I wonder when he'll run out, when all the compliments will be gone and all we'll have left are gray hairs and rocking chairs.
A guy runs past us, catching a football several feet away, and I push my top back on. I know he can't see us, but it's too close for comfort.
"You giveth and you taketh away," Rowdy complains, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry. Dignity is my middle name," I retort back.
"Even now?" Rowdy cups me on the outside of my bikini bottoms, sliding his hand up and down.
"I'm an honorable woman," I choke out, inhaling deeply. He's relentless, pushing and rubbing as my hips arch. My sunglasses fall further back on my tilted head, stopping at the messy bun.
Rowdy slowly kisses just behind my ear and blows softly. He is flawless, sweet, gentle perfection and I love, love, love him. He gives me everything I need when I don't even ask.
Rowdy purposefully pushes his middle fingers harder and even though the bathing suit is between my flesh and his hand, he hits the right spot, circling my clit.
"What about now?" he breathes.
My voice hitches and I can't see anything but rippled waters and a blinding sun that makes me see spots. It's like the clouds gave up, making room for the sun to shine just for us.
"Rowdy…" I tingle and my cheeks flush as my stomach tangles into knots. There's something raw and powerful in the way he looks at me. It's adoration and passion and devotion someone my age should never have the privilege of feeling.
Rowdy leans closer to me, kissing me softly as I hold my palm over his hand to still his movements. I tremble and gasp out as he brings me to the edge and back.
He plants kisses on my shoulder and calls me his Cotton Baby.
"What are you now?" he smirks as I catch my breath.
"Unrefined," I say, rubbing over his bulging shorts. "And most ever improper."
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"Chili!"
"No, add coleslaw! I want coleslaw."
"Don't forget the mustard!"
"Is there any lemonade left?"
There's no freshman or sophomores besides Jasper, Charlotte Rose and I, but we fit right in. The boys go and fix our plates as Charlotte and I sit at a table. The smell of burnt hamburgers and hotdogs fill the air, and everyone crowds around to fix their food.
"Hey, can I sit here?"
I smile widely and gesture with my hand. "Sure."
"I'm Leah." She's a pretty girl with long, dark hair, brown eyes, and caramel colored skin. She's soaking wet from going swimming and droplets of water fall from her hair.
"I'm Cotton. And this is Charlotte Rose."
"Nice to meet you." She takes a large bite of her hotdog and wipes away the excess mustard from her chin. "Are y'all seniors? I don't think I've seen you in any of my classes."
Charlotte Rose is too honest. "No. We're just here for the free chips."
Leah laughs and throws her head back. "Nothing wrong with that."
Rowdy, Jasper, and Riley return with our food and drinks, squeezing in to the uneven wooden tables. Leah introduces herself to them as well, and we all eat silently for a few minutes, scarfing the food down. The heat makes me way too hungry.
Rowdy keeps glancing at Leah and it makes me nervous. I don't know why, but he's literally looking her up and down. He can't stop looking at her. I finally kick him under the table.
He shakes his head and all of sudden, he's downing his drink like there's no tomorrow. The rest of the gang chat it up, patting their full stomachs. Leah asks all sorts of questions, especially to Rowdy, and I wish she would just leave him alone. I pretend like I don't notice, but I'm a bit peeved. Finally, Leah says she has to go meet up with her friends and rises from the table.
"See ya later," she grins, waving.
"Bye!" Riley tosses her a peace sign as she skips off. She disappears into a crowd and I don't see her again.
"Do you know her?" I look directly at Rowdy and he shakes his head.
"No, but she looks familiar." He frowns for a second and then shrugs it off. Sometimes I forget I haven't known Rowdy all my life. I wonder if he means she looks like someone from his hometown of Rosedale.
Riley is paying us no mind and jumps up. "Who's ready for round two of swimming?"
"Me!" Charlotte Rose gets up quickly and Jasper joins them.
I groan, stuffed from overeating.
Rowdy shifts nervously in his seat. "Wanna walk with me?"
"Sure." There's no way in hell I'm getting in that water. The piranhas are just waiting to attack at a moment's notice.
Rowdy and I walk back to our belongings and put on the clothes that we arrived in. I don't intend on getting eaten alive by mosquitos too.
He fumbles around with his stuff for a minute while I wait. He finally grabs my hand as we disappear towards the woods.
We walk along the dirt path and I long for my rain boots. My flips are unstable and Rowdy has to catch me several times when I trip over rocks and broken sticks. The greenery out here is gorgeous and the canopy of trees allows just enough sunlight to filter through. The air is fresh and clean, and the moss that covers the ground still isn't as green as Rowdy's eyes. I smile, listening to the birds chirp their songs.
Papa was right about the Cotton Belt—it had all sorts of beautiful things, but most of all, it had Rowdy.
We come across a cleared path with rocks that jag unevenly like stepping-stones. Rowdy holds my hand to navigate down the rocks and into a circular-like opening.
"Oh!" My hands cover my mouth as Rowdy leads me towards a waterfall that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. It's small, and the overflowing water descends into a creek that flows northward. It's absolutely breathtaking.
"How did you know this was here?" I ask in astonishment. Rowdy smirks as we walk underneath, sitting on the ride below.
"A very smart fella told me where it was."
I don't know who he means, but I grin anyways. I'm just happy we're here, away from the noise and chaos of the other students.
Rowdy takes my hand in his and we just stare and smile. He looks slightly forlorn and I have to ask, "What's the matter?"
"I had another seizure last night."
I don't know how the world does it, but it manages to catch me off guard every damn time. "Are you-? Is this-?"
How many more? I want to know. Are you getting sick again? Are we back to daily visits to the hospitals and wheelchairs and crutches?
"I'm fine," he reassures me. "Ma drove me to the emergency room last night. They checked me out and I'm back on a few medications, but I'm fine."
"Okay," I say softly. But it's not okay. Inside, I'm crying more tears than this waterfall could ever produce.
"I just wanted to be honest with you. I didn't call 'cause I didn't want you to worry. But I'm good, I promise."
"Okay." My voice just keeps getting smaller and smaller, disappearing out into the forest. I try to keep my eyes from watering and I squeeze his hand.
Rowdy gives me a soft peck on my lips and raises his eyebrow. "You're not gonna bail on me, are you?"
"What? No! Never." Never, ever, ever.
"Good, 'cause that's not why I brought you out here."
"It's not?"
"Naw." Rowdy takes my small hand in his and kisses it softly. "But I was lying in that hospital bed thinking, Cotton. I was hooked up to that IV and staring at the wall while Ma paced back and forth. I kept wondering if I was truly meant to just lie there the rest of my life."
"Rowdy!" I'm shocked he would say such a thing. He had to know there was more to life than that.
"Just listen, okay? I was angry before the doctor came in and showed me the test results. I was mad 'cause I didn't want to get sick all over again. I was mad at Ma for dragging me to the hospital in the first place. I was mad at Harley Gene for crying the whole way there. I was just mad and angry at all sorts of things I couldn't even control."
Rowdy swallows, and he's pouring out feelings I know he would never admit to anyone else.
"But then I got this huge smile on my face, Cotton. I started thinking of you. 'Cause I know if you would've been there you would've stolen my blanket, complaining how cold it was or mumbling that you wanted something to eat. You would've taken off one of your rain boots to fix your sock and cursed about your legs being too skinny. You would've done all that and then climbed into bed with me to make sure I wasn't nervous about the doctor coming in. And then when he read the results you would've cried 'cause you're a big ol' softy, and then you would've kissed my cheek and said, 'I told you so.' You would've done all that 'cause you've done it before."
Rowdy swallows a lump in his throat and gazes at me with a soft smile. "But you weren't there, Cotton. That was the hardest part. Not the needle or that stupid blood pressure cuff squeezing me too tight or the long wait. The hard part was knowing I would have to wake up today and tell you everything that happened. I don't want that again."
Rowdy slides his hands from underneath mine. I tremble, wondering where he's going when he bends on one knee. Water splashes from behind him as he digs into the pocket of his jean shorts and holds out the same black box from our birthday party.
"Cotton, I'm in love with you. It ain't the type of love that comes and goes, or the kind you feel for your kin. My love is an 'I-believe-in-God, you've-given-me-a-reason-to-fight, cake-walk-funnel-cakes, carved-fountain-names' kind of love. It's stronger than my body will ever be. And to keep it strong, I've got to have you the rest of my life. I want to wake up with you in my arms and fall asleep whispering your name. I'm a greedy bastard and I'm selfish, but I swear on everything I promise to make you happy. I'll buy you all the polka dotted, bows-at-the-top, yellow canary rain boots in the world if you just say you'll marry me…"
I can't speak. For once in my life, I'm unable to utter a single word.
I guess I take too long 'cause Rowdy curses under his breath and starts to rise.
"Yes!" I half-scream, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'll marry you!"
He nearly stumbles, but I hold him tightly. Tears fall from my eyes and Rowdy drops the ring on the ground.
"Shit!" He quickly picks it up, but the box is covered in dirt. He opens it for me, pulling out the thin gold ring. The diamond is tiny, so small I have to squint to see it as he slides it onto my finger.
It's perfect.
We kiss under that waterfall deep in the woods, and we stay there until our lips become dry.
It's the absolute best feeling in the world.
Rowdy is mine forever and I am his.
We're meant to be and there isn't a person in the world who can convince me otherwise.
As Rowdy grasps my hands to walk back, my shoulders slump.
There was one man who could ruin this, and he's the best gator hunter in all of Mississippi.
"Oh no…" I moan. "Papa."
Rowdy grins as he helps me up the steep rocks. "Guess who told me about the waterfall?"
I gasp, not believing that Papa would actually give us his blessing.
"Make sure you tell Jessie she has a lot of taters to eat now," Rowdy adds, chuckling. "I plan on formulating you day and night, Mrs. Masen."