FROM A CHILD'S PLATE
Grilled and Smoked With A Splash of Attitude
Salem shot Heckler a final glare and padded across the pool area and back through the house. He ignored the look Sam's mother Grace shot at him from the kitchen where she was helping Rios' mother, Ms. Mimi cook and went straight for the heavy cherry double doors leading into Rios' newly built office off the family room on rear of the house.
"Hey, off limits, Salem!" Sam's father Art shouted from the nearby family area where he was watching a college football game alone.
"What?"
Salem spat back and watched as the arrogant Izod clad, Miami Dade police detective crossed to him then chuckled derisively when he tried to bar the door.
"My Samantha said Tyson says no one's allowed in there; it's his area. Samantha's not even allowed in so what do you think you're doing, son?"
"Drop the son pops, I'd sooner have a fuckin' test tube for a parent."
"Watch it Salem, I'm not going to coddle your cocky little ass like Tyson does and I'm in no mood for your lip. Have you heard the stuff Nala spouts out lately? You need to learn to have some respect. Tyson said no one goes in there and I intend to see his orders met."
"Yea, you and whose army detective? I'm a little too old for he respect lesson, pops. 'Sides even if I could learn it you damn sure aren't man enough to teach it to me; so respect this, Mr. Detective." He snapped reaching into his pocket and dragging out his keys. He held them up in front of Art's bulging Martini glazed eyes and in a sing song voice recited.
"This little key goes to my hovel and this little key to my truck. And this little key's for Rios' and this little key here, his front door. Now this little key it's going all the way home to… guess where, detective, Art? Well look at that; Tyson's new office. And I'll huff and I'll puff and poofity click… looks like I'm the only fucker on the approved visitor list. So respect that motherfucker. I've got a pool party to attend and my bathing suit's in my closet in Tyson's private office."
Salem pushed through the door, slammed it shut behind himself in Art's flushed face, locked it and leaned back defensively against the barrier just in case.
"Salem! Salem open this door immediately! Salem! I'm warning you. Salem! They fucked up giving you a chance boy!"
"Holy Christ and fuck me twice Rios, the shit I put up with to be your friend. Sometimes I think rotting away in the Louisiana's state pen mighta been the better deal."
Art's pounding finally ceased and Elliot, satisfied that he'd retreated, made his way across the well-appointed space and into the large bathroom. Just as Tyson had said his tattered red board shorts were hanging from a hook in the shower stall. He changed and headed out but stopped short. Turning he eyed the pile of pink clothes littering the neat bathroom and picked them up. Tyson would have a fit over the sloppy pile. He carefully folded them and stowed the items in the closet Rios had built into the office for him. It held spare clothes and workout attire as well as a second gun safe for Salem's weapons for when Elliot stayed over before they deployed; which was their typical routine. The office had a huge plush leather couch that Salem had chosen for its comfort when sleeping, even though Rios had built him a small sleeping alcove. Rios called the huge piece of furniture a laziness magnet, swearing that if he passed to near it he ended up napping or watching television. All told the office was as large as a small studio apartment and had most of the same amnesties including a well-stocked wet bar.
Clothes put away Salem took a deep breath and headed back out of the door, across the house and to the pool. Once on the patio he paused and took note of the position of the laughing kids, Samantha and her bevy of girlfriends.
"Perfect." He purred sardonically to himself. "Couldn't have set it up better if I'd planned it." Then at the top of his lungs, "Frag out!"
Samantha and gang had no time to move as the grinning man dashed forward and launched into the air just feet away from them. He hit the water from about six feet high in a fully tucked cannon ball. The ensuing splash and wave drenched them and most dumped their frilly colorful drinks trying to dodge the attack. Their shrill screams drowned out the raucous laughter of the men and the kids but Salem couldn't hear it. Instead of popping straight back up he swam under water and surfaced beneath the floating basketball hoop his head poking through the barely wide enough hole. He slung his near chin length bangs out of his face spraying water at the kids and taunted the giggling group.
"Betch'a can't hit me, come on show me whatch'a got you useless little heathens!"
The kids immediately set about trying to hit him with the ball and the new game was on. They'd throw at him and he'd dunk down and reappear so they could try again. Finally an hour later and bored with being their target he slipped under and surfaced stealthily beneath Nala. He lifted her high over his head and flew her toward the net. Then he flipped the squealing girl upside down and tried to slam dunk her head first into the net. The new game was met with a chorus of 'me nexts' and Elliot obliged, trying to slam dunk all of the willing kids into the hoop. For the moment he forgot all about Samantha and her parents, he forgot all about Heckler's taunting, he forgot pretty much all negativity in his life and allowed himself to relish in the simplistic joy of play, something his own less than happy childhood had not allowed him to indulge in.
Over at the grilling area Samantha's friends complained to their husbands and dates about the watery attack. Fortunately all the men had sense enough to simply smooth the situation over and not confront Salem. Rios quickly tuned out Sam, turned away and began wire brushing the warming grill grates for the steaks and burgers. Brett, Hillary's husband slunk away from his griping wife as well and joined him. He was ex Air Force, currently working in IT and of all Sam's friends' men the only one who at least tried to cross over into the very cliquish group.
"Need a hand? I'm a fair cook on a grill. My old man was our neighborhood grill master when I was a kid."
Rios considered the offer. If nothing else he was a veteran, and Hillary, his wife, was as loose as Samantha when it came to sleeping around. Tyson actually felt a slight affinity to the cuckolded man. He'd also come in and set up all the electronics in Tyson's new office. Maybe Elliot planned on dodging bullets for the rest of his life but Tyson's main reason for the new office was to fill it as much electronic hardware as possible so that he could educate himself enough to run the inside end of mission operations.
"Yea sure, here clean that one off. We'll need both."
Brett took the proffered brush slid slightly to Rios' right and began to scrub at the charred iron grates.
"This grill is sweet man. My old man would die for a set up like this."
"Yea, well hey next time he's in town let me know. You guys can come over swim and we'll grill."
"Will Salem be here?"
Rios' hackles twitched a bit but then he considered that Hillary waged a constant battle to get Elliot into bed and of course the common rumor was that she had. He sighed and decided to let the man off the hook.
"Look I like you man, of all of you guys on the outside you're the only one I'd really let in. So I'm gonna level with you. Salem, he hasn't fucked Hillary."
"No it's not that it's…"
"Yea it is, Brett and trust me Sam's about as faithful as; well I can't think of anything not faithful enough; so I know what you have to deal with. No Brett, Salem's never touched any of those bitches no offense to your wife. Wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole, so yea he will probably be here. Think about it Brett in case you haven't noticed he is sort of attached to my hip."
"Oh, ok yea then that would be good. Sorry about Samantha man, shit."
"Mother of my child so I cope."
"Yea, I feel you. Hey, how's the office? Everything still online and running smooth?"
"Yea, hell yea and thanks couldn't have done it without you."
"Hey, Rios you better look at this!" Giddy shouted as Tyson and Brett set their brushes aside.
The two men turned back to the pool just in time to see Elliot lead the entire group of kids in a ten yard charge once again toward where the women had resettled comfortably in the water with new drinks.
"Salem!"
The plea went unheard and eleven bodies slammed into the water three feet from the women and this time the wave and splash completely doused them leaving their primped and teased hair drooping and their makeup in ruins. Once they surfaced the small squad of swimmers cheered forward by Salem began a brutal barrage of splashing that finally drove the sputtering ladies out of the pool and into the safety of the patio bathroom. He hefted Nala onto his shoulders and the kids began cheering with him.
"Our pool, our pool, our pool, big people go home!"
"I'm gonna kill him."
"On average, if you don't mind me asking, how many times do you threaten him with that a week?"
Rios busted up laughing and slapped Brett on the left shoulder.
"Who're kidding? A week! Try a day. Salem, Nala that's enough. Salem!"
"What Tyse?" he shouted up at Rios his arms spread wide grinning from ear to ear. "Just playing, Tubby, playing, it's good for you."
"I'll give you, good for you, Elliot! We have to live with them and I don't mean the kids."
"Not my fault."
He waded toward where Tyson stood at the edge of the pool and reached back his left arm.
"You do it and your skinny bitch ass is mine, Elliot. Kids out! Get dry and get ready for dinner!"
The order was met with a chorus of squealing complaints.
"Ok, ok Tyse; man… all a you… hey you munchkins out. Let's go, let's go, poopy pants Tyson's spoiling our fun. Night time Marco Polo later."
Elliot turned from Tyson and began herding the children up the steps and out of the pool. They were met by their moms, none of whom were part of Samantha's guest list and hustled away to dry off and settle down for supper.
Elliot trailed out after them and headed straight for Tyson and the guys. When he got just behind Rios he shook his head like a dog and doused the bigger man as he spread out the hamburgers across the grill.
"Salem!"
"What, it's a pool party, getting wet is a mandatory thing."
Then he trailed his fingers in his mop of hair, took Tyson's beer and stepped toward the smoker where his ribs were cooking.
"Hey gimme that!"
"Old, fat and slow big guy; old, fat and slow."
An hour later dinner was served. The kids sat round their table and the adults at another larger one. Just into the meal Nala stepped up and approached Elliot with a covered platter. She looked to Tyson's mom who nodded then pushed onto the bench seat between Heckler's wife Zoe and him.
"Gotcha a dinner surprise, Uncle E. ready? Made it myself."
Elliot set his fork aside and looked at her then across to Ms. Mimi.
"I suppose?"
"Great! Tada!"
She set the platter down and snatched off the lid with a flourish.
Salem leaned back and groaned.
"It's green, And a Half."
"Yup, Grama Mimi says green is good. And this is fresh green too, the best."
"I don't eat green, fresh or otherwise, kiddo."
"You'd deny your adorable niece. Taste it. Come on, I made the dressing, oil and Balsamic vinegar with a little garlic, myself. Well me and Grama Mimi, I tossed it too with the big forks."
"What's the matter tough guy, afraid of a little salad?" Art sneered.
Salem glared down the table at the insipid man and sighed.
"Tyse?"
"It's a salad Elliot taste it. It's not like she's asking you to bum rush an MMG. "'Sides the kid's right, green's good for a growing boy."
"Growing? That's good, Tyse, cute. Growing, ha ha. Shut up, Heck."
"Giddy?"
"Hell man, she is adorable."
"God turncoats one and all. Fine, what is it."
"Great! Baby spinach, with Soy Bean Sprouts, and that's Arugula…"
"Aruga who?"
"Like lettuce. Those are baby carrot strings and here's some nice shitake mushroom, Feta cheese that's from sheep's milk and…"
"Stop!"
Elliot took a deep breath and plunged his fork into the heaping salad stabbing around and gathering up some Spinach, Sprouts, a Shitake and a smidgen of the Arugula and Feta. He shoved the pile into his mouth and chewed. The group all watched in silent anticipation.
"Remember your manners, Kermit; it's rude to make a face when you don't like something."
"Fu…"
"Don't curse with your mouth full, Fifty! What are you thinking?" Giddy snapped reaching behind Heckler and smacking Salem in the back of his head.
Salem began to chew again and finally managed to choke down the salad sample. He grabbed for his beer to wash it down but Heckler snatched it away.
"Oh no, no, no, tell her what you think first. You ain't tasting wine and cheese, Fifty. Savor that flavor."
"Wow, Heck that's a cool rhyme, Savor that Flavor. That's gonna be me and Grama Mimi's restaurant saying!"
Heckler high fived her and she turned back to Salem.
"Well?"
Salem looked around the table finally locking eyes with Rios. His demeanor said don't hurt her feelings but Elliot knew Nala was tougher than that.
"Tastes like grass."
"Grass! Like you've ever eaten grass, mister. Grass! My salad doesn't taste…Grama Mimi? Grass, Uncle Elliot?"
"God you're an ass, Kermit."
"What Nala? Grass it's green and it tastes grassy. That should be good, no? That green stuff is grassy, what?" He squealed.
"When have you ever eaten grass, Uncle Elliot? How do you even know what grass tastes like?"
"I have eaten grass. I have eaten grass and bugs and snails and bark and these even." He protested stabbing at a mushroom, "but they damn near killed my as.. well me."
Nala was looking at him in stunned disbelief. They were face to face only inches apart and she'd wrinkled up her nose and pressed her small hands against his shoulders as if to keep him at bay.
"Well it's true. I was lost for weeks and it was all I had. Ask your old man. I was skin and bones when we first met from only eating green stuff and bugs!"
"Bugs, you ate bugs. You have bug breath and I just smelled it. I kissed you good morning, you've kissed me to sleep with bug lips eeeew!"
She swiped her forearm across her lips and slid back from him as far as she could before pushing Zoe out of place.
"It was a long time ago. I've brushed my teeth thousands a times since then."
"No he hasn't, don't trust him Nala; terrible oral hygiene."
"Fuck you, Heckler. Ow! Damn it Giddy that one hurt. I brush my teeth Nala. Who you gonna believe?"
" I don't know, Uncle Elliot but they like salad. They eat salad, they understand green's good for them and you don't and that's why you're always gonna be just a skinny ass little bitch."
"Nala!" Rios wailed.
"Here Uncle Heck; you eat it. I'm through here."
Once she turned away the table broke up into crazed laughter. Rios threw down his napkin and buried his face in his hands. Finally he looked up and studied the group. All were laughing except Samantha and her folks. He wanted to laugh. He loved, despite the often awkwardness of it, the interaction Nala and Salem had with one another. The little girl understood him on a level that the rest of them did not.
"Lighten up, Tyson." Heckler offered. "It's just how they roll."
Tyson smiled and began to laugh as well. Salem sat silently waiting for the table to just get back to eating and for his shame to pass. Heckler stood up went behind him and hugged him.
"Oh come on now Fifty, smile; it's only a salad and her undying love she's given me. ' Sides we all love your skinny ass. Right guys? Gives us something to lust after during those long lonely missions."
Salem shrugged him off and started to laugh.
"Hey, slayed by a nine year old girl, none a you can claim that; so I'm still the bomb!"
The laughter ramped up again but Art had heard enough.
"You think her behavior is funny, Tyson?"
The tone of his voice, nasty and confrontational silenced the table at once.
"What Art?" he replied snickering despite himself.
"I said…"
"I heard you."
"She was, despite my disdain for that one," he pointed at Salem. "Rude and disrespectful. Disrespectful to all of us with such language. She should be punished and not be allowed to be anywhere near him. I'm certain she learned that behavior from him. I swear Tyson, I will not allow his sick, degenerate and ignorant behavior to destroy my granddaughter! I'll sue for custody and take her out of this madness first. I am well aware of his history. I've pulled down a favor, I unsealed his files."
The table went completely still and even the children, sensing the new tense atmosphere, stopped talking. Giddy stood up and placed his hands on Salem's tensed shoulders. Heckler followed and flanked Rios. Both knew that one man or the other was set to go over the table and take out Art. Rios cleared his throat, leaned forward on his elbows and faced Samantha's father.
"This is my home, she is my daughter, he is my brother and partner. We are bound in blood. This dinner will continue without any further outbursts or threats from you or yours. Now shut your fucking pious trap detective and eat before I come over there and shred you, understood. Do not threaten the only two people I love ever again. And as for you illegally unsealing Elliot's juvenile records, we will discuss that after I talk to my lawyer and your internal affairs officer. Now these are some fine steaks that Elliot brought us and they're getting cold so eat everyone, just let's all eat."
Giddy and Heckler returned to their seats and the group began to eat again. It didn't take long for jovial conversation and beers to erase the black mood and Rios felt relived. Salem had restrained himself and even gotten back into a festive mood and for Rios that was the high point of the night.
Once the plates had been taken away by Mimi and Sam's mother with the help of Giddy and Heckler's wives, Nala came back over. She sat down next to Elliot, reached out and grasped his right hand in hers. She was a smart and empathic child far above her years and she knew that Elliot, despite his smiles and laughter, was hurting. She drew his hand up to her lips and kissed it.
"Sorry, wanna yell at me?"
"No. Never been real good at scolding you, kiddo."
"It's ok if I kissed bug lips. Ok too that you don't eat green stuff. I kinda like you smallish anyway easier to hug all of you. Arms are still short, see?"
Then she knelt on the bench and faced him. She grasped his stubble rough face in her palms and looked him in the eyes.
"But it's not ok to be sad. Ok. No one can take me from you. Kiss now 'cause I gotta go play hide and seek."
He smiled and they pecked lips together. He drew her into a tight hug and set her down on the ground.
"Go on then skedaddle. Be careful and I love you too, And-a-Half."