~Chapter 18 - Are you ready~
"Back off, both of you." I warned as I tilted my head to the side to get a better look of Erwin who was on his knees staring into the mud preoccupied with thoughts.
Levi and Mike kept their distance with their swords ready. Both of them knew I wouldn't hesitate killing him, especially now when I'm mentally unstable due to my friends death.
The time stood still. The rain was still pouring, but not as much as it did a few minutes ago. Dark clouds were still covering the friendly sky and the sun was hiding somewhere behind it.
Erwin glanced at me and looked straight into my furious and murderous (e/c) eyes.
"Your friends…must have died…." He made a short paus as he sank his eyes back to the ground again. "I see…"
"Don't you DARE talk about them… You don't give a single FUCK about them, now shut the FUCK up or I'll dig your shitty eyes out!" I roared as I pushed the sword slowly into his neck to make the pain last longer.
My lips widened into a creepy smile as I saw a thin stream of pure red blood dirtying my blade. I wanted to torture him, slowly and painfully until he dies a horrible death, because he deserved it.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, Erwin, you big asshole. I should've done that long ago…."
"(f/n), calm down."
I kept the blade in as I spoke to Levi blankly.
"Why, Levi? Why should I calm down? Why not just kill this bastard, take the fucking documents and leave?"
"(F/N)!"
"HE KILLED ISABEL AND FARLAN, LEVI! HE SENT THEM TO THEIR DEATHS!" I gasped for air as the cursed words left my mouth. I've never thought I'd be able to say those haunting words out loud. When I was sure my voice would carry, I continued. "Now if you two take one more step I'm not going to think twice on wither I should spare him or not"
The footsteps went silent. They must have stood still now.
Erwin placed his hand under his green cape and pulled out a white envelope with a red mark on it.
"These are the documents you are looking for."
He opened the envelope and pulled out the content and made it drop to the mud.
I fell onto my knees and shuffled the documents to me. My swords were beside me on the ground uselessly.
"These are blank…What the fuck did you do to it?"
"I'm sorry I took so long."
"What the fuck are you telling me?" My eyes were still stuck on the blank documents, hoping that words would appear on them magically.
"It was a bluff."
It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was all just a big prank. A bluff!
My body started to shake. It was a bluff. Erwin knew about our mission to get our hands on those documents. He had planned it all.
"(f/n)?" Levi's voice echoed in my ears.
I kept my eyes straight forward and my face was expressionless. I couldn't feel anything. My body was limp and my head hung low. The three of them stared at me and was wondering wither to help me or not.
Suddenly, I got up onto my feet with the same expression on my face and walked away.
"(f/n)!"
Someone called for me, I couldn't recognize the voice. I blocked out all sounds, all feelings, everything.
I walked up to the nearest tree and sat down, leaning my back against it. And as soon as I gave a sigh in defeat, the thoughts and feelings started attacking me.
Why in hell would he send the four of us out here if he knew all about it? Why didn't he tell us a long time ago? Was the death of Farlan and Isabel needed for his little show?
That bastard…
I didn't know how long I sat there, under the tree, protected by the leaves from the rain that was still pouring down. Streams were built and the water was racing to lower grounds.
I haven't cried since Isabel and Farlan. I didn't felt like crying. I felt like killing and destroying.
Before I could get up to my feet and search for any living creature to kill, I saw Levi. He was walking towards me with Erwin and Mike just a few meters behind him.
"(f/n), what the fuck did you think you were doing?"
I didn't answer. My eyes were on outlook for a prey.
"Hey, I'm talking to you."
I still didn't answer.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you. I expect an answer."
"Why are they still alive?" I finally spoke up, but not to answer his question. I was simply not in the mood. Erwin and Mike were out of range to hear what I had to say, to my disappointment.
"We are joining the Survey Corps."
"I thought we were in the Survey Corps already."
"No we weren't. Let's go."
"I'm not leaving. You go." I said and turned my back to him.
"Stop acting like a damn brat and get your ass of the filthy ground. I'm not cleaning your shitty uniform."
"Did I ask for you to clean it? You go join that god damn Survey Corps. I'm not moving a single fucking millimetre form here." My arms were crossed and lips pouted. I knew I looked like a child, but I couldn't care less at that time.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I stood up aggressively and pointed a finger at my chest as I spoke in disbelief.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I repeated and gave a joyless laugh. "You are the one that suddenly came back and wanted to join the Survey Corps! Erwin sent us to the titans, even though he knew about our mission to get those god damn documents, and now you want to join and even help them?" I gave another joyless laugh and stared right into his grey eyes.
"It's not Erwin's fault that Farlan and Isabel died. Nor is it my or even your fault. It's those god damn titans' fault! It was them that killed Isabel and Farlan!"
"And now you're protecting them also." I shook my head.
"I'm the one with the facts so do me a favour and listen to me instead of cutting me off the whole time." He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him.
"What other choice do we have? Either we join them and make a change to this world or we go back to the undergrounds and live like rats until we die. We can change things here; it's two of us and the Survey Corps against the titans. We can do it, and we will not let sacrifices go in vain."
My lips trembled. I knew when he said, sacrifices, he meant Isabel and Farlan.
There was nothing more I wanted then to revenge Isabel and Farlan, my childhood friends and family. But am I really ready to get myself out there and face the titans again? Am I ready to see more blood, gore and death all around me? Am I ready to take part and save humanity with my soon-to-be comrades?
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Levi looked straight into my eyes and gave a sly smile.
Yes, I'm ready.
~(AN - Hi! One reviewer had told me that they wanted me to increase the length of my chapters. It might not be so much longer than my other chapters but i've tried my best and made a stop somewhere appropriate. I've rewritten this chapter a few times to make it not as much of a failure as it used to be, so i hope you guys enjoy it.)~