~Chapter 20 - Success~
-Time skip to 5 years later-
"Levi! What the hell!" I yelled as I banged his locked door with my clenched fist.
"Can you shut the hell up, brat? What do you want?" He replied with the same annoying voice as always.
"Open this god damn door, Levi! I don't have time for this!"
A sigh was heard from Levi's office and a shuffling noise got which got closer and louder until it was right on the other side of the door. A "pop" was heard as the door got unlocked and opened slightly.
"What do you want?" He repeated.
I could only see his glowing eyes from the creak. Sick of the show he was putting up, I slammed open the door and it face-platted Levi.
"What the fuck!?" Levi roared as he covered his face with his hands.
Normally, I would laugh so much I'd cry. But now, I wasn't in the mood.
"As I said, I don't have time for this. Now explain this." I threw a file of papers onto his desk and dropped down angrily onto a chair that was in front of his desk. I tapped my foot against the wooden floor impatiently as I waited for Levi to examine the files.
"You're lucky you are you, or else I would've kicked your ass so bad that you would spend the next month at the infirmary."
He picked up the files and browsed through it in the matter of seconds.
"Yeah…so?" He said after he put the files back onto the desk again.
"So?" I rose up and leaned on the desk so that our faces were only a few decimetres away from each other.
"So?" I repeated and turned my back to him and walked to the centre of the room with over-exaggerating steps.
"You took responsibility of that titan-kid without telling me?" Anger was written all over my face and I did nothing to cover it. "And apparently, you have gone to court with Erwin and beat the shit out of that poor kid in front of everyone without telling me as well. What else are you hiding from me? Do you have some magic powers that can give you super strength?"
Levi sat silent and kept his eyes on me.
"Oh hell no..."
"I do not need to tell you everything I do, do I?" He said and raised one of his slim eyebrows.
"No, you don't. But I need to know when you are going to take care of a fucking titan-kid! Who know what he's hiding? He might be a titan in disguise, and when we least suspect, BAM, he'll munch us up. Is that what you want?"
"I don't need to point out just how ridiculous you sounded. One second, you're on that brat's side and the other you're not. Get to bed; your brain is shit right now."
"I'm not a kid anymore. If you hadn't noticed yet, I'm 19." I replied as I stomped out of the room and slammed the door shut behind me.
Still in the god damn woods. What are we supposed to do here anyways?
My squad and Levi's squad were racing through the woods on our horses on an expedition. But this wasn't the yearly expedition.
A lot of things have happened under the past 5 years. Just a month after our first expedition, we've gotten the news that we'd be squad leaders. I was the youngest squad leader in mankind history, just at the age of 14. Levi and I were squad leaders for a squad each and were proud with our jobs.
Keith Shadis has quit his job as commander and was now trainer for training squads, due to his guiltiness to the death of 1/5 of the overall citizens, though it wasn't his fault. Erwin has taken Shadis' place as commander.
Levi has gotten attached to Erwin and now trusted him with his own life. I, on the other hand, only respected him. Levi has tried to convince me several times to forget what happened in the past and look forward instead. But every sacrifice, every bloodshed, is nagging and chewing me out from within.
And now, all that's left of me is an empty shell, and if someone handles me without care, I'll crack and a scar will forever remain.
We have been riding for half an hour now. My back was aching from sitting in the same tense position for such a long period of time.
Erwin had ordered Levi and my squad to ride this way through the woods. He never told us anything about what the meaning of this mission was and why we were out here if it wasn't for the yearly expedition.
A loud noise quieted down my mind.
What was that?
I turned my head to find the source of the loud noise. It sounded like one of these big trees was cracked in middle and thrown to the ground with force.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The noise, that was obviously footsteps, grew louder and louder.
"Get your blades ready." Levi commanded and pulled out his blades. "That something will be here in a moment."
Just as he finished his sentence, a huge titan appeared between the trees. It was bigger than any I've ever seen before. It had short shoulder length blonde hair and ice blue eyes and its body consisted of exposed muscles with a few skin patches here and there. Her right hand was covering her nape.
Wait…what?
As the titan appeared, it threw something violently to the ground. It took me a millisecond to figure out what it was.
It was a human.
Shock and fear crept into me and took over my mind for a brief second before I reclaimed it and calmed myself.
"Trust us!" I heard Petra exclaim to Eren who had his thumb in his mouth, just about to bite.
Eren looked at her with a scared and doubtful expression. He turned away to have a look on the huge female titan that was chasing us.
"Have faith in us, Eren!" Petra pleaded.
"EREN! THAT'S TAKING TOO LONG! MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!" Levi shouted.
"I'LL KEEP GOING WITH YOU!"
Petra smiled proudly, but her eyes are filled with fear. Eren's gaze met mine. I've heard a lot of things from Levi and even eavesdropped at Erwin's conversation to get some more information about him, but this was the first time I saw him in person.
And as soon as our eyes met, everything stood still for a moment.
Those eyes….those green emerald orbs and messy chocolate brown hair reminded me of a kid that never left my mind for a single second. Eren resembled the kid I met in Shiganshina after my first expedition.
After the reach of wall Maria, I had always wondered what happened to the kid with the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen. I've never accepted the fact that he might be dead. I don't know why, but the moment our eyes met for a brief second, he had made himself a place in my mind.
I'll ask him later. I think he mentioned that he came from Shiganshina once…
"Let me goooo!" A shriek was heard.
I made the mistake and looked back.
A Survey Corps soldier was captured in the hands of the female titan. She held the soldier around his waist and shoved him into the next tree she came along with. His head and some parts of his shoulders were immediately cut off from his body. It was as if the tree was sandpaper and the soldier was a worn material.
I closed my eyes and did my ritual.
My name is (f/n) (l/n), and I'm 19 years old. I am short tempered and get pissed easily. But luckily, I have Levi and my squad to help me when I have a meltdown. I've lost….many…..people. And I will not let their deaths go in vain.
I reopened my eyes and caught Eren staring at me with a confused look. I shrugged my shoulders and ripped my eyes off of his and kept them set on the road in front of us.
-Flashback-
I shrieked as loud as possible, surely waking up the whole HQ and tangled my fingers into my (h/l) (h/c) hair and violently tugged at it. I dug my face into my bed and roared even louder into the bed sheets. My tears were soaking down the sheets and made it look like I had wet the bed.
My sobs and screams were deafening so I didn't hear Levi get up from his bed on the other side of the room and walk to me.
"(f/n), calm down, it's all over. You're safe with me, now calm down. Shhh….." Levi said soothingly and wrapped his arms around me.
He patted my back and made soft movements that calmed my nerves.
Another breakdown, another fucking breakdown. Is this ever going to end? If I don't stop with this, I'll become a burden.
"I can't…Levi. I fucking can't live like this. I….burden…..I….Please help me…." I choked back a sob and tried to calm myself down.
I always have a breakdown after an expedition or when I see fallen soldiers' family and friends. I can't name a single person that is not aware of it. That's why I share a room with Levi on the out-wing of the HQ, far away from the rest.
I started having breakdowns after my first expedition out the walls. I've gone to several doctors for a check-up to see if I was healthy. They all said I was physically healthy, but not mentally due to the horror I saw at such a young age and in the condition I was in. Apparently, I was born with a weak mind and the things I saw outside the walls were too much for me.
"I've got an idea. Each time you get scared, insecure or delirious. Think about obvious things you know about yourself. It'll calm you down, I know."
I nodded shakily as I dug myself deeper into his arms.
I blocked out the noises and tried his idea.
"My name is (f/n) (l/n), and I'm 15 years old. I easily get breakdowns and Levi said this idea worked so I'm trying it out. I really hope this works. I don't want to be a burden for the others. Please, let this work."
The thought went on repeat over and over. And soon, after what felt like forever, I fell asleep in Levi's arms.
That was the first night in ages I didn't cry myself to sleep, and the next morning, I didn't wake up with tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes from the tears. It worked.
-End of Flashback-
"THE TARGET IS ACCELERATING!" Elmira, a female from my squad, yelled.
"FULL SPEED AHEAD! KEEP GOING AS FAST AS YOU CAN!"
We continued forward not daring to look back. I saw Eren mentally debating whether to turn into a titan or not.
But before he could make the decision, I heard a loud growl that belonged to no one else but Commander Erwin Smith himself.
"FIRE!" He roared with a majestic voice.
Thousands of strong arrows with metal rope attached to it were shot at the female titan. I took a last glance at the captured titan before the smoke covered it up.
"Tether the horses up ahead, and then switch to 3DMG. This time I'll be taking care action separately from the rest of you. I'll leave (f/n) to command my squad." Levi informed. "Keep a safe distance away from the titan and hide Eren. And take care of my horse." He added before he flew back towards the dusty mess behind us.
The only sound that was heard was the hooves from the horses clasping the ground.
I turned to face my and Levi's squad members. All of them had shocked and surprised look on their faces, but were soon exchanged to triumphs.
"So how was that, Eren? Now you see? We just captured that titan alive!" Günther exclaimed triumphantly.
"This is the power of the Survey Corps! Don't you ever underestimate us, you dumbass! Get it now?" Auruo with a mocking tone.
I exchanged smiles with my own squad mates and laughed with them at out victory.
Finally, a success on one of our expeditions, I can't wait for the results.