Author's note: I know, I know. This chapter is the better part of two months late. In my defense, life REALY got in the way, in the form of a Differential Equations course. Somehow, I passed the course with a high B, but it left me with no free time to work on this fic.

I know, there's no write-in rules for this chapter. They'll be back for the next one, however.

Anyway, on with the Christmas episode of "Things not to do on the Mobile Command Post!"

61- If the computer decides to label a contact "DEC 24", you are not to fire on it.

On the bright side, S.H.I.E.L.D. would have no need to purchase coal in the foreseeable future.

62- Never trust the autopilot.

It had put them down in an unmarked cornfield, insisting that it was New York City.

63- The bus is not a TARDIS! Stop saying it is!

FitzSimmons had gone and watched two seasons of Doctor Who in one sitting.

64- It's neat that you can turn a screw with sound waves, but quit working on a sonic screwdriver and get back to work!

65- No light-sabers!

FitzSimmons hadn't produced a laser-sword, but they had managed a beam of plasma that pierced the lab wall, missed Lola by a matter of inches, and blasted through the ramp.

66- Do not consume the entire jug of eggnog by yourself.

Fitz had, which had prompted the next rule.

67-No Fitz, you are not a Timelord. Quit saying you are!

A mission gone awry saw Fitz, in a fit of over-enthusiasm, telling a S.W.A.T. team "I'm the doctor!" after having blown up a factory using a glow-stick, artificial sweetener, and a pot of tea.

68- Skye is not "Miss Brooks" ...even if they do act the same.

Coulson had made an extremely dated reference, and then had to dig out the radio-program in order to explain it.

69-The rocket car goes back. Now.

Ward's attempt at driving had ended in the doughnut shop instead of at the doughnut shop.

70- No repeat of the Great Pie War.

Ward heard an odd noise and dived for cover. "Cobbler in the hole! Hit the deck!"

71- DON'T OPEN THE LOADING RAMP WHILE WE'RE DECORATING!

Ward had been left hanging to a string of Christmas lights at ten thousand feet.

72- No setting Lola's horn to play Dixie!

In May's defense, with as much time as the car spent flying, it made sense.

73- Never, ever again, bring a live tree aboard!

The flamethrower had been needed once again.

74- Come on, guys! Leave some of the popcorn for the tree!

They still managed to eat more than they strung.

75- Watch out for the wrapping paper!

The kitten had hoarded every piece of used wrapping paper under Skye's bed, and was now guarding it jealously.

Author's Note: Rule 68, for those who are curious, is a reference to the radio comedy "Our Miss Brooks". It's really great, and my co-author has been listening to far too much of it recently.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, don't forget the true meaning of Christmas - Christ's birth!