~Chapter 21 - Or was it...~
A success, finally, we have made some progress.
I jumped around as the playful person I am and giggled with my squad.
There were very few peoples in this world that were close to me. In fact, the only ones are my squad, consisting of Elmira, Anja, Claudia, Dominik and Leon; Levi and Hanji.
My squad and I are all celebrating. We aren't called the T.I.E. squad without a reason. T.I.E. stood for take it easy. Though we do not take it easy during training and expedition, but all of us had childlike personalities; which was why Erwin made us into one squad.
"When we get home, we're soooo having a party! Oh my god!" Claudia exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Hell yeah! CELEBRATION! YEAAAH!" I replied as I threw my fist into the air merrily.
Suddenly, a loud roar was heard. We all were taken aback and gave each other confused gazes.
"What was that?" Anja asked nervously. The smile on her face had disappeared the second she heard the roar.
"You're so stupid. We were all here the whole time. Don't expect us to know." Auruo snapped cockily.
"Auruo! Stop acting so high and majestic. Now apologise to her!" Petra scolded with a hard-set face.
"As if I would…"
"I swear, one day, karma will get you for all you've done."
"Guys, stop arguing. It won't solve anything." I interacted. Levi did give their responsibility to me, and I have to make him proud. "Let's wait here. The roar seemed to come from quite far away from here. Let's wait for a while in case Levi gives any orders."
We dropped down onto the thick branches quietly.
I slowly closed my eyes for some peace, but was interrupted by a question.
"Squad Leader (f/n)?" Eren asked, fidgeting slightly.
"Yea?" I replied with a slight annoyance.
"Umm…I have a few questions for you, sir."
"Go on."
"Yea…Well, you see" He started but the nervousness took over his ability to speak and he ended up staring into the branch as if it would tell him what to say.
"Come on, this moment won't last forever." I pep-talked.
"I saw you, in Shiganshina District on that day. It was you, right?"
I sat silent for a moment. The question was both surprising and not. I had expected this question, but I was still surprised he remembered me.
"That was probably me."
"Ours eyes met. Do you remember me? Do you?" Eren asked desperately.
I tilted my head to the side.
"It's not easy to forget a kid with your appearances. Where is this going?"
"I…I…."
I waited for him to continue, not wanting to push him though our time limits. It was obvious he was having a hard time to form sentences to express whatever he wanted to say.
"Ever since that day, I had idolized you. I looked up to you and Levi after that day. When I saw such a young person going out on expeditions, I knew that I wanted to become a soldier. Just like you."
I stared at him blankly, taken aback. I knew that there were people that idolized me and Levi. But no one has directly talked to me about it and expressed their feelings for me, unlike Levi who has gotten tons of love confessions.
I didn't know what to say. Luckily, an answer wasn't needed.
Günther jumped down from the tallest branch to the rest of us.
"The retreat signal! We're going back to where we left our horses!"
"Come on. You heard him. Let's go see for ourselves what kind of face the shithead that was riding inside that titan is making."
Without hesitating a second, all of us started out 3DMG and flew towards our goal. We were all in a good mood and for the first time on an expedition, we were relaxed. We even had a care-free chat as we flew.
"(f/n)! You know, it's been a while since we went swimming!" Dominik said.
"Hmm…yeah, you're right. We should go swimming when we get back. You guys in?" I asked excitedly.
I've always enjoyed swimming, especially if it's with my squad.
"Of course, that would be awesome! By the way, Anja, I've finally finished sewing your dress." Elmira giggled
Anja looked at Elmira wide eyed.
"What? Really? OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" She exclaimed and laughed loudly.
"Get a room." Leon joked with a grin.
"Oh shut up!" Anja laughed and gave her boyfriend a playful punch on his arm.
"Ouch!" Leon exclaimed dramatically and made a volt in the air representing him falling down from the punch. "My arm, oh my!"
"GUYS! What are you, on a picnic or something? It's the outer lands here, for crying out loud!" Günther shouted. "Sorry Squad Leader (f/n)." He added when he noticed his words were meant to me as well.
"Nahh, it's nothing. I understand." I reassured and gave him a smiling nod.
All of us had a smile on our faces, or inside, and were all comfortable with the silence. Soon, we'd be home. Soon, we'll hear the good news…
"GÜNTHER!" Eren exclaimed suddenly.
I whipped my head towards the shout to see what's going on, and the sight….Oh my god.
Günther was hanging lifeless on one of his hooks that were connected to a tree. His head was loose and didn't sit properly to the neck.
"What is…?" Eren stopped beside Günther's body and stared at the body bug eyed.
"EREN, DON'T STOP! KEEP MOVING!" I commanded as I pulled onto his cape, forcing him to move forward. "PROTECT EREN!"
"WHAT DO WE DO?" Petra yelled panicky.
"Forget about the horses. We need to reach our commanders and comrades."
A loud bang was heard and smoke was gathered behind us. A second later, the female titan appeared running through the smoke.
"Oh Shit! This time, I'll fight her-"
"NO YOU WON'T!" I interrupted. "We'll are going to deal with the titan. You go ahead with to our commanders' place as fast as you can. AND DO NOT LOOK BACK! JUST KEEP ON GOING! GO!"
"YES SIR! I BELIEVE IN MY AND SQUAD LEADER (F/N)'S SQUAD'S VICTORY!" He roared before he continued forward.
The nine of us gave each other a quick nod and made a U-turn back towards the female titan.
Erd was in the front and attacked first. He prepared his swords of over his head. The female titan's hand whipped through the air and Erd managed to dodge the hit just in time.
Petra and Auruo was next in the "line" and managed to cut out its eyes when all its attention as on Erd.
The nape was covered with both of its large hands. The female titan leaned against a tree which provided more protection to its nape.
Without saying a word, all nine of us knew the plan. We were going to cut the muscles in her arm away so that the hands covering the nape would fall down. Elmira and Anja cut of the muscles in the arm and it fell lifelessly down against her sides. But the tree was still in the way.
Dominik and Claudia gave each a nod and dove down towards the neck muscles. Just a few meters away from the neck, one of the titan's ice blue eye opened and stared right at them before she opened her jaws and bit both of them the same time.
"DOMINIK! CLAUDIA!" Someone cried.
I pushed the fact that they have just got bitten in half deep down in my mind. I can't chicken out and have a breakdown here. I need to be brave and try my best to save the rest by giving right orders to devour the female titan.
The female titan got onto its feet and started chasing after those who were closest, which were Elmira, Anja and Petra. All of them had lost balance from the horrifying scene that had just placed right in front of them a second ago.
"RIGHTEN YOUR BALANCE! QUICK!" I yelled, but it was in vain.
All three of them were awestruck and couldn't think clear.
The female titan ran after them, its arms were flapping behind her like 2 oblong flags.
"PETRA! C'MON! DO IT!" Auruo yelled desperately.
I stood on a branch, studying the chaos and trying to make up orders to give. But my mind where filled with thoughts that kept distracting me.
The female titan jumped up and kicked Petra to a tree, crushing her body. Anja and Elmira managed to survive, but not for long.
Anja sat defenceless on the grass, looking straight up into the titan's eye.
"L-L-Leon…?" She stammered before she got crushed by the feet of the titan.
"ANJA!" Leon roared and zapped through the air towards the titan.
Just before Leon could end this misery, the female titan turned around and kicked Leon, sending him straight to the ground.
I was paralyzed from horror.
Orders…give orders! Tell them to retreat! Tell them to retreat and protect Eren! Why aren't you doing it? (f/n)…? No….no…not here (f/n), not here. No break downs are allowed here outside the walls, remember? Pull yourself together, come on.
"ERD! ELMIRA! DISTRACT THE TITAN! AURUO, AIM FOR THE NAPE!" I commanded and jumped of the branch.
Erd and Elmira did as told. They flew in front of the titan's face and tried to distract it while Auruo was behind it focusing on the nape.
The nape was clear, and Auruo noticed it too. He dove down towards the nape and sliced his sword towards the nape. I was just about to sigh in relief when I noticed that the titan was still standing up.
Within a second, I searched through my memory to replay the scene where Auruo sliced the titan's nape. The sword hit the nape, but went to pieces. The nape however had a crystal-look to it and made it look like it was hard a rock.
How is this possible?
I was just about to call for them to retreat when the titan regained its arms. She turned around and made a swift kick against Auruo, sending him to the ground, the same way as Leon.
I unhooked my hook and landed on the grass a bit away from the titan just in time before the titan managed to grab my wires. But Erd and Elmira wasn't as fast as I.
The female titan swung the wire around in a circle as if Erd and Elmira were toys. She walked slowly up to me with slow steps before she let go of the wire, sending them down to the ground a few meters away from me.
They're body were ill-formed from the high speed they had to endure. Their joints were out of place and the necks were bent in an uncomfortable angle.
I turned my head back and saw Eren behind the closest tree staring at the scene with an awestruck and furious expression.
"RUN! GET AWAY FROM HERE! DON'T YOU FOLLOW ORDERS? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" I yelled.
But Eren just stood there starring. He raised his hand and places his thumb inside his mouth before he bit.
The female titan was a few meters away from me. She lifted a feet, and was about to crush me to death.
Guess this is the end…
I closed my eyes, prepared for the settling feet that would kill me.
When I didn't feel anything, I slowly reopened my eyes.
Am I dead already? That was painless…
But all my thoughts were wrong. I was indeed alive. And right in front of me, Eren was sitting on the female titan, roaring into her face in his titan form.
I was paralyzed with fear and shock. I was ready; I was ready to leave this abhorrent world. What is life when you are captured within walls like a bunch of livestock? But outside the walls is the titans' territory. What choices do we have? Many generations have gone and we still don't know what's further out outside the walls.
I stood still in my place, staring straight forward at the fight that was going on. Eren lifted his arm high in the air and used all his force aiming at the female titan's head. She easily dodged the punch, but Eren's arm was disconnected due to the amount of force he used.
He used his other hand which ended the same way.
Eren's titan sat on the female titan, straddling her hips pinning her down to the ground. I saw how Eren hesitated, though he was a titan, he still had those emerald green eyes and I could see that he was deep in thoughts. I could read him like a book, even in titan-form. Regret and anger, definitely regret and anger.
Eren reopened his jaws and roared once again, this time, a lot louder than the last.
I couldn't bear myself to block out the noises and protect my ears with my hands, I was still in shock. I wouldn't be surprised if I turned out to be deaf tomorrow.
That's if I survive to tomorrow…
Eren lifted his arms in the air and concentrated on regenerating his hands. The female titan this this as her chance and in the matter of seconds, she has managed to kick him to a nearby tree.
The scene in front of me was a mess. Limbs were tangled, roars were heard, punches and kicks were received and given. Though this might be the most important fight I'll probably ever experience, I still couldn't move. My body was frozen, nothing can make me move.
I saw how the female titan punched off Eren's jaw and how Eren, though his missing jaw, battled the female titan down to the ground. But she got up and sliced his head off with her hand in one swift movement.
I saw how she bent down beside his corpse and ripped away his nape with her teeth. Eren's body poked out of the nape. Bits of titan flesh were still attached to him and make him look like he was partly skinless.
"EREN!" I heard someone exclaim.
But I didn't look back to check who the noise came from.
The female titan's jaws shut closed, but Eren's feet where still outside her mouth. After that, she got onto her feet and left.
"EREN! GET BACK HERE!" I saw a shadow zap through the air towards the female titan.
I stared blankly after the shadow which my mind was too slow to make out who it belonged to.
That's when a thought hit me. And following it was a train of thoughts.
What should I tell him? More importantly, how should I tell him? He gave me the responsibility of his squad, and I got them killed…
I had noticed how he acted around Petra and vice versa. Petra loved Levi; it was so obvious that it was painful. Though I did not know how Levi felt for Petra, he never talks about personal things, not even with me. But I knew that Levi cared for Petra, deeply.
I dropped down onto my knees, my legs were trembling and my I started to have a headache. My chest was painful due to what I just witnessed. Sitting on my knees took too much energy, so I lied down on the ground with the side of my face in the grass.
This was dangerous. If a titan arrives, I won't have time to escape. But right now, I couldn't care less. I want to leave everyone. I want to leave everything and never return.
"(F/N)….?" A familiar voice called from behind.
I didn't answer. Why should I?
"…..(f/n)" Levi's voice was trembling slightly.
This was the first time I heard his voice trembling, even if it was a slight tremble.
"Don't tell me..." I heard Levi land beside me and quickly went onto his knees on the contrary side from where my face was facing.
Levi's warm and rough hands gently touched my head and patted my hair.
I still didn't move.
Why aren't I moving? Do I enjoy playing dead? Think about Levi's feelings. He might act expressionless and bored most of the time, but he is still human.
I took in a deep breath and gently pushed myself from the grass. I heard Levi's surprised gasp. But he held himself together and helped me into his arms. He hugged me tightly, tighter than he has ever hugged me before.
I felt his warmth; I felt the comfort that he wants to give me. But now was not the time. Eren was kidnapped by the female titan and someone has followed after her.
I gently shoved Levi away and looked down to the ground.
"I'm sorry….I….Petra, it's all my fault, I'm so sorry… I…." I whispered.
Surprisingly, I haven't started crying. Maybe it was because we were outside the walls.
"I saw. Where did they go?" He asked.
I knew he meant the female titan with Eren and the shadow that went after them. I pointed at the direction I saw them disappear with one trembling finger.
"I can take care of myself. You go after them." I said.
He hesitated at first but understood that there was no other choice and nodded. He made sure I got onto me feet and started walking before he left.
I can't take care of myself. I need you Levi, I need you.