~(AN-Hi! So, here is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have while writing it. At the part where Levi sings for reader, you can listen to the song as background music. I teared up while doing so, just saying ;P The song i used is "You'll be in my heart" by Phil Collins. Merry Christmas and Happy new year, lovely people ^-^)~
Chapter 23 - Final Flashback~
Levi's POV
I walked down the hallway and greeted my work-friends that passed by with simple nods. My office was just a more doors to the left. When I reached the door to my office, I gently turned the knob and entered the room.
The whole office was pristine clean. I remember that I had cleaned it this morning, so it hasn't had time to gather dust yet. But it still needed to be cleaned again.
I felt a sudden pain in my right leg. Halting, I reached my office chair and slumped into it, hoping that the pain would ease.
I'm getting old.
I snorted at my own thought.
The pain in my leg had not yet eased. I crossed my arms and leaned even further down on my chair. Thoughts and memories invaded my mind and took over.
I sighed in defeat of the attention my memories wanted and gently pulled out a key that was tied around my neck like a necklace. I held the key high in the air and examined it with care. I've had this key the day I moved into this office, which was exactly 5 years ago. The key was a skeleton key and used to be golden coloured but after the years rubbing my chest, the golden colour was bleached.
I gently slipped the key into the keyhole in the drawer and turned. I haven't opened the drawer once since I locked the items in. The memories they brought was too painful and I never had the courage to go through them. It's ironic how I used to be humanities strongest and don't even dare to read a letter.
I'm ready for this.
I thought as I pulled the handle, opening the drawer. The placing of the content was just how I remembered. A thin document was placed on the left side of the drawer with a letter on top of it. On the other side of the drawer was an accessory box sized wooden chest with a silver lock boarders.
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the memories that would soon gush against me. I gently lifted my surprisingly steading hands into the drawer and pulled out all three of the items, placing them on the spotless desk. I took another deep breathe before I determined the order on which I would look first. It took me one second to decide that I would read the letter last. It was of course the most painful memory of them all.
The wooden chest was enticing and mysterious since I didn't remember what I put in it so I chose that one. I pulled the box closer to me and smoothly, opened it.
I gasped for air at the sight. I had forgotten exactly how much it hurt too look at the content. I shut my eyes and gathered my thoughts, taking deep breaths through my nose calming myself.
When I reopened my eyes, I emptied the chest and picked up the item that got my attention. It was the green cape I once used when I served the Survey Corps. I folded the green cape and placed it back into the chest. I sighed at how easy it was to touch the cape that I had used for the most part of my life. How many screams has it heard? How many litres of titan and human blood has it soaked?
Pulling up the next item, i examined it. It was a key. I sat there for a moment, thinking who it had belonged and if it lead somewhere. That's when I remembered. This was the key that was supposed to lead to Jaeger's basement and reveal the secrets about the titans.
I remember, just a year before our victory against the titans, we finally reached the basement. We were going to go down to the basement, but found out that the basement was crushed by the pillars and boulders.
Placing the key back into the chest, I grabbed for another item. The cool stone embraced my fingers. I titled my head down towards the cool item. A round emerald green stone surrounded with a golden frame was attached to a long brown thin but strong thread. I sighed as I lifted the neckless to have a better look at it. The stone had a few scratches on it.
Erwin…
A train of thoughts gave me a headache so I rubbed my temples trying to ease the pain.
Why did she do that? I just don't understand. Why did you do that, (f/n)?
Her name sent a chill down my spine. Even though the whole country hates her and sees her as the devil himself after the things she's done, I still love her. I never got the chance to show her exactly how much I loved her before she left.
I felt my eyes tear up but forced down the tears. I didn't know why I banned myself from crying, nobody was going to see me anyway, so why not? Let my feelings out and then get rid of them? But I didn't want to cry. I want answers, answers I'll possibly never get since she's gone. My last hope is that letter. But I didn't dare open that letter; I haven't touched it for 5 years. The letter seemed haunted. As if it contained secret information that no one is supposed to know, ever.
Until now…
I dropped the neckless down into the chest. There was only one item left. I picked it up and felt a pain in my chest. It was a small box wind in black cloth. I immediately remembered what was in the box.
I lifted the lid and just as I suspected, in that box was my old handkerchief. It had stiches all over it since it had been torn several times and I tried to fix it, not wanting to get a new one. This was the item that was dearest to me. I remember the moment (f/n) handed me this as a gift to show her gratitude and appreciation to me.
I shut the lid, not wanting to look at it anymore. Before I placed it back in the drawer, I gave it a kiss.
Now to the documents.
The documents were on the desk, it looked obnoxious and if I had the choice, I wouldn't have read it for another five years. But now when I've already started, why not finish it all and leave it alone until next time.
I picked up the documents, my hands trembling slightly. On the top left corner of the first page was a small yellowed picture of a female with raven-black hair. She seemed familiar, and when I read the document, I mentally scolded myself for ever forgetting her.
She's Mikasa Ackerman. I read the document silently to myself.
Name: Mikasa Ackerman
Birthdate: 835 February 10th
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 69 kg
Status: Deceased
Notes: On the 58th expedition, former Survey Corps soldier and 1st ranker in the 104th Trainees Squad Mikasa Ackerman attempted to protect childhood friends Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger received a fatal punch by a titan from behind.
I placed the document at the bottom of the pile and tortured myself with what remained of the unread documents.
The next was a picture of another female, but this one had brown hair in a ponytail that reached the base of her neck and bangs on her forehead which was parted on the left side. I didn't remember this woman, but she certainly did ring a bell.
Name: Sasha Braus
Birthdate: 835 July 26th
Height: 168 cm
Weight: 55 kg
Status: Deceased
Notes: On an expedition outside the wall, former Survey Corps soldier and 9th ranker in the 104th Trainees Squad Sasha Braus was devoured by a titan after protecting Connie Springer.
I sighed. Both of them sacrificed themselves protecting those who were dearest to them. I was just about to think about (f/n) when I saw her face on the next document. The pain in my chest grew for each second I stared at her portrait. This was the first picture I've ever seen of (f/n). She was as gorgeous as I remembered.
Name: (f/n) (l/n)
Birthdate: (your birthdate)
Height: (your height)
Weight: (your weight)
Status: Deceased
Notes: During the execution of Eren Jaeger, former Squad Leader of the Survey Corps and "humanities strongest female" protected the convicted after committing 3 murders on Erwin Smith, Nile Dok and Dot Pixis.
Her document was the most painful of them all. It brought back the most unbearable mental pain that left me panting for air. I tried to push the memory away, but failed. I leaned back as the memory played in front of my eyes only like a private theatre.
-Flashback-
I tangled my fingers together and placed my chin on it, my elbows were on the desk for support. I heard a faint knock on the door. Who could it be at this time? It's nearly midnight.
I gave the person permission to enter my office, and between the doors walked (f/n). I gasped; surprised that she came into my office at this time. Her eyes were devastating and very tired, as if she had just received information that she didn't want to know.
"Yes?" I asked, tilting my head slightly to the side.
She walked up to my desk silently and dropped a few documents on the table. Still without a word, she collapsed into a wooden chair. I picked up the documents and browsed through it with my eyes. I clicked my tongue as I dropped the documents on the table.
"Yes?" I repeated.
She lifted her gaze and met mine. Her lips were formed into a frown and silent tears wet her rosy chubby cheeks.
"Eren…I don't understand anything…" She stammered.
She understood. She just wanted me to confirm that what she just read was false and her eyes and mind were playing a hoax on her. But I couldn't do that. Because what she read was the truth.
"(f/n), I know how close you are with Jaeger, but you have to stay out of this." I wanted to say that there was no way to save that Jaeger brat, but there was a way. And surprisingly, she managed to find out and do it all by herself.
"What? What do you mean stay out of it? How can I stay out of it?" She asked. I could hear the anger and desperation in her breaking voice.
"(f/n), they've decided already. Jaeger is going to be executed. You have to stay out of it or else you'll get punished. Remember that talk we had in the underground? I asked you if you'd follow my judgements without questioning me you said yes."
"I said it depended on the situation." She interrupted.
"Wha- Fine, you did say that. And now, I need you to stay out of it. It's not for your own sake, but for mine as well."
I kept on pleading her to stay out of it, and just as I suspected, she did the exact opposite.
The next day was the day of that brat Jaeger's execution. I didn't look forward to it and I couldn't get any sleep the night before so I was in a terrible mood.
The execution will take place in the centre of the town; so that everybody could see it. I heard that even Queen Historia would be there. Maybe it was only rumours to lure more people.
A high wooden platform was built during the night and another wooden platform with a sharp long blade hovering over it was there as well. As the time for the execution neared and I still couldn't find (f/n), I got more and more worried. And soon, the execution started.
A man walked up to the platform. On one side of the platforms stood Erwin Smith, Nile Dok and Dot Pixis together, their arms were crossed and faces were in a stoic expression.
"Ladies and gentlemen, today in Sina centre, we'll see the final titan Eren Jaeger executed. He shall be executed for allowing titan-shifter and mass murderer Annie Leonhardt escape and for being the final titan we need to extirpate him. This execution has been allowed by Commander Erwin Smith, Commander Nile Dok and Commander Dot Pixis. Let the execution begin."
I heard a rustle from afar. Rising my head, I saw a wagon driving towards the platform. And on that wagon was no other than a blindfolded Eren Jaeger. Even from this distance, I could see his beaten face and his bloodied shirt. They had tortured him in the dungeon before bringing him here. What else would I have expected?
My heartrate was getting faster and faster. Not because of that shitty brat Eren, but because of (f/n)'s absence. What could have happened? Where is she?
The wagon stopped beside the platform. Two MP's jumped of the wagon and pulled Eren after them. They literally dragged him across the stone ground. I winced at the pain he must felt. Though I hated that brat, I started feel sorry for him.
Where the fuck is (f/n)? I swear to god if she disobeys me, she'll get years of chorus and several hours of overwork.
That is if she makes it out of it alive.
I groaned at the thought and managed to push the it away for now.
The two MP's where now standing on the platform with Eren between them. The blindfold is wet from his tears and his lips and cheeks are bruised. His wrists were roughly tied behind his back and the uncomfortable position even made me wince.
Both of the soldiers kicked behind Eren's knees and made him kneel on the platform. They violently grabbed his hair and shoved him head onto the second platform with the blade hovering on top.
I crossed my arms. My body was heating up of nervousness and my legs were twitching slightly.
The man that made the long speech a minute ago walked to the front and started talking again.
"Any last words, Eren Jaeger?"
The brat coughed as he panted and choked down a sob. He was obviously terrified. Before he had the chance of doing anything, I started talking.
"Take of that god damn blindfold. He's scared shitless, how the fuck do you expect him to say his last words when he's stuttering like fuck?"
The soldiers gave each other a questioning gaze before they nodded to each other and ripped of the blindfold. As soon as it was gone, Eren whipped his head from side to side to make out where he was. After browsing through the audience who were waiting for his execution, his eyes settled at me, pleading for me to save him.
I broke the eye-contact, not bearing to look at his desperate face. I can't save him, I just can't risk it. He is the last titan after all. So when he's exterminated, there won't be any more titans to take care of.
"So, Eren Jaeger, any last words?" The man repeated irritated.
"Is that necessary?" A voice asked.
I knew directly that it didn't belong to that brat. That brat would never have the guts to say something like that and the voice didn't match.
I saw as (f/n) walked up to the stage with her majestic way of walking. Her hips swayed from the left to the right as if she was on the catwalk. The Survey Corps outfit fitted her perfectly and highlighted her features.
I would have never guessed that just a few minutes later, her body will be impaled and destroyed by bullets.
(f/n) pushed the soldiers away from Eren. They pointed their guns at her, so she held her hands in the air to show that she was weapon-less and not a threat. I wanted to reach her, I wanted to pull her down from the stage and embrace her until the execution was over. But the crowd kept me away and now when some action was going on, the crowd got even tighter.
"Let me speak." I heard the all-so-familiar angel-like voice say.
She looked at the Commanders, hoping they would help her out. I saw as Erwin Smith held his hand a bit in front of him gesturing her to go on.
"Thank you, Commander Erwin Smith. I want you three to find inside your hearts and let my subordinate go. He is the saviour of humanity together with all soldiers from the Survey Corps and shouldn't be executed. He should be rewarded, just like the rest of us. He is not a monster, let him go." Her voice was steady and powerful.
The three commanders exchanged looks and whispered something to each other before raising their voice so everyone could hear.
"I'm sorry, (f/n), but we cannot allow that. I've prepared the execution platform and we've got the audience ready already. All we need is a victim. Please leave." Nile said with a taunting voice.
"If you guys so want an execution, than I volunteer as tribute."
Gasps and murmurs spread like wildfire amongst the citizens. My eyes widened and my heart stopped for a short while at her words.
A deep chuckle was heard coming from Erwin's lips.
"I'm sorry, (f/n), but we can't allow that. Why would we want to execute you? And you can't volunteer as tribute for execution. Learn your place."
"I can so. I have the right to take Eren's place if I want." (f/n) pointed at one of the soldiers as she continued. "Get Eren out of here, bring him to Levi, I'll take his place-"
"No…NO! Squad Leader (f/n), please don't!" Eren interrupted, he was wiggled trying to face her but the chains limited how much he could move.
"Eren, shut up." She said, not facing him.
The soldier she had just pointed was sweating furiously; he turned around silently asking the commanders what he should do and received a disapproving look.
"(f/n), I'm saying this one last time. Leave, now when you can." Erwin warned with a dark look.
I saw how (f/n)'s shoulders slumped slightly. She turned around, but didn't go. She sent one glance towards the queen (what? Why?) before she faced Eren for the first time. She knelt down beside him and leaned towards his ear whispering something inaudible for the rest.
But it must have been emotional since the brat, if possible, sobbed even more.
She gave Eren one last smile as she rose up to her feet. Her eyes looked at the audience, searching for something. And that something was me.
Her lips turned into a broad and sad smile when our eyes met.
And before I knew it, I started shouting. I yelled her name over and over and demanding her to get of that platform. But she didn't budge. Her smile disappeared as she faced her final destination, the commanders.
In the matter of seconds, she pulled out her arm from behind her right shoulder (how did it get there?) with a brown rifle in her hand. With a swift movement and 3 pulls of the trigger, the three commanders dropped down to the ground with blood seeping through a small hole in their foreheads.
I gasped. My brain wasn't working. My whole body was frozen just like the rest of us all. But apparently, (f/n) is not in shock form. I know that since she rushed over to Eren as soon the last bullet hit the last commander's forehead. (f/n) dropped down onto her knees and pulled Eren away from the fatal platform. She violently placed Eren's head on her lap and crouched over his body like a….shield.
I was nauseous when I realised her plan. She was going to protect him with her body.
Just a millisecond after her body fully protected Eren's head and the most important organs, shots were heard. The same shots that awoke the audience from their shock and made them run in different directions away from the platform. Screams and shouts surrounded me. The people kept running into me and pushing me away from the platform, and my short height wasn't helping.
A loud voice roared through the town from a high building, it demanded for the gunshots to stop. The soldiers followed the Queen's orders and shortly after, the gunshots ceased.
I was desperate. I needed to talk to (f/n); I needed to check if she was ok.
Oh god please say she's ok.
When I finally reached the platform, I was close to scream out loud. A big pool of blood was on the stage and in the middle of it sat Eren and (f/n). Eren's head was still between (f/n) torso and lap like a sandwich. (f/n)'s back was impaled with bullet holes and it was bloodied down.
I climbed up to the platform and ripped that shitty brat away from (f/n). All my sympathetic feelings for him were long gone. Eren wiggled on the platform, wanting someone to untie him. But that wasn't important, what was important was to check (f/n)'s wellbeing.
I gently laid my hands on her waist and placed her head on my thighs after I had kneelt down on the wooden planks.
She looked at me from her half-lidded eyes with a pained face and as soon as her eyes met mine, she smiled. I felt my heart breaking into tiny pieces just seeing her in this state.
"WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU THINKING? I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERFEER AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? YOU GOD DAMN INTERFEERED! WHAT THE FUCK (F/N)?" I shouted, but didn't move my body afraid of the movements might hurt her.
I knew that scolding her this time was a stupid thing to do but I couldn't hold my irritation and anger.
"Levi…calm down…it's ok…" She whispered.
"No (f/n)! This is unacceptable! You can't do something like this! Have you ever thought about me? What do you think will happen to me when you're gone?" I stared at her straight into her glossy eyes.
"Of course I've th-" She didn't have time to finish her sentence when she was interrupted by violent coughs which brought blood. A thin stream of blood started from the edge of her lips to her chin flooded and made her look unbelievably sick.
After she panted for a few seconds, she pulled herself together and finished her sentence.
"Of course I've thought about you. You'll understand later. Don't hurt Eren. He's innocent." She stammered barely audible.
"What do you mean? That shitty brat is far from innocent! And how the fuck will I ever understand th-?"
I didn't finish my sentence. Not because I couldn't finish, but because she claimed my lips.
I stared at (f/n)'s alluring face closely. Even though she was pale from the blood-lost and had blood smeared all over her chin, she was still breath-taking.
Within a millisecond after I understood the situation, I melted into the kiss and shut my eyes. My left hand finds its way under her head for support as I deepened the kiss, making it passionate and unforgettable. Our lips waltzed together and I could feel how (f/n) smiled into our kiss. When I was just about to deepen the kiss even further, I noticed that (f/n) was pulling back.
I was just about to ask her why when reality hit me.
I reopened my eyes and saw how (f/n)'s eyes slowly shut. The edge of her lips were facing up into a sad and relieving smile. Life was slipping out of her like a handful of sand out of fingers.
"Sing…for me." She managed to get out of her.
Normally, I would yell at her for her stupidity. But now wasn't a normal situation.
I rummaged through my memory trying to remember lyrics so a song that would fit this situation and find out one song. It was actually my favourite.
I've never sang before but I didn't care. It was for (f/n), I'll do anything for her.
My lips parted lips and sang with a low and husky voice.
"Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight"
(f/n)'s smile grew, encouraging me to continue singing.
"I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry"
My free hand finds its way to her hand and I held to it as if I was holding onto her life.
"For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry"
I gently pulled her up to me and placed her chin onto my shoulder for support, my hand still holding hers.
"Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever, more"
I felt how (f/n)'s body went limp in my embrace. But I kept on singing, not daring to stop.
"You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always."
I could stop myself. I could control myself and keep the tears inside until no one was watching. But what do I earn from that? I wanted everyone to see how devastated I was. I wanted everyone to understand how I felt and that it was partly their fault.
With her face still on my shoulder, I wrapped both my arms around her limp body sharply as I swayed her lightly from side to side as I let my tears run free.
Why was life so unfair? When we finally defeated the titans after losing so many people to them, life just had to take away the last person I cared for.
I don't know how long time I sat there, but it felt like ages. I remember the time I rose, my legs have slept and it hurt. The whole time, (f/n)'s last words rang through my head on repeat. Those three simple words will haunt me every night for the rest of my lives.
I love you.
-End of Flashback-
Coughing down a sob, I turned to the next page. This is going a lot slower than expected.
The next picture on the document was a male with dark brown hair parted in the middle.
I groaned in annoyance at the shitty brats' face. I remember (f/n) ordering me to not hurt him, and I haven't. Well, to be honest, I haven't talked to him ever since the execution.
The chair creaked when I leaned further into the chair. With my arms crossed, I gathered my courage for the remaining content of the drawer, mainly the letter.
I remember returning from the execution, expressionless and heartbroken. My whole world shattered out of my reach making it impossible for me to prevent it from happening. I walked to my office in the HQ and found this letter on my desk. I remember clearly how my mood, if possible, sunk even further. My chest felt weird at that time as if my heart would break my ribs and fall out of my chest. When I had walked up to the letter, on the front, it stood her name, written with her unique cursive hand style.
The letter is still, till this day, unopened.
I reached my trembling arm after the letter. As my fingers laced against the smooth paper, my heartrate rose drastically. It felt like my heart was beating in my throat.
With shaking fingers, I gently opened the envelope, stripping the content. Just as predicated, it was a sheet of paper, written by (f/n). I pulled out the paper, took a deep breath and started reading.
Dear Levi,
This is the first letter I've ever written, and probably the last. I'm glad that the receiver is you.
When you read this, I'm probably not alive anymore. But I'll always be by your side, just like I've always been.
Even though I have the plan in my head, pulling down my mood, I decided to spend my last day with the person I care most, which is you.
Something seemed to bother you during the time we spent that day, but it's more than I can ask for. Only knowing you're there, just a few meters away from me makes me over-joyed.
Remember the talk you had with Isabel in the Underground? You might not remember it, but I remember it as if it was yesterday you had that conversation. I eavesdropped on you, but I don't regret it. I did what I felt were right; and I hope that the consequences will be as planned. And I hope that I made a change to this disgusting world.
I've lived a great life. I've met wonderful humans, and took apart of defeating the titans, reclaiming humanity's freedom. And what makes it better is that I get to do it with you.
To be on the safe side, I need to tell you, just in case I didn't manage to do it after the plan, how I feel for you.
You are the person I value most in my life. I would literally do anything for you. That's why I came up with this plan with Her Majesty the Queen. If this plan goes how I want it to go, taking 3 lives in exchange for true freedom for the rest of humanity.
I love you, Levi. And now when I'm not there, alive by your side, I want you to live your life to the fullest. Remember, I love you and I'll always do, forever.
Yours truly,
(f/n) (l/n)
As the last word faded in my mind, my heartrate paced down a bit. It felt as if a boulder was lifted off my shoulders and years of agony vanished together with the fading word. This letter explained the mysteries that have haunted me for the past five years.
My fingers gently clenched against the letter, doing my best to not spoil the fragile paper. A smile tugged on my lips, threatening to smile in any second. I gave in, and let the smile take over my lips.
"Thank you, (f/n). I'll love you forever, until the sun and moon collide." I whispered to thin air, hoping she might be near and listen to my words.
I folded the letter and stuffed it back to its home in the envelope. My hands worked together and placed all the items back into the drawer before I locked it once again. I got up from my seat and walked out of the office.
Not aware of my guardian angel who've stood behind me, watching my reaction towards the letter. The angel placed her chin on the chair as the room fell silent. Her smile glittered like the sun as tears of joy seeped out of her glossy eyes like small diamonds.
"I love you too, you sappy old man." She giggled.
~(AN-That's it. That's the end of my all-time first fanfiction and complete story i've ever written. I'm so proud of this piece of work that I'm crying, of joy that is. I want to say that i've taken every review, follow, favourite and view to heart and cry each time i see how far this fanfic has gone. I love each and one of you and thank you sooo much for taking your time and reading this. I LOVE YOU!)~