CHAPTER TWO: COFFEE ABD BOARD GAMES
Tropy was polishing his clocks and enjoying the peace and quiet that comes from Cortex discovering video games and N. Gin recovering from a hang over. Unfortunately, his peace and quiet soon came to an end.
N. Gin runs into Tropy's clock room holding an open bag of coffee beans shortly followed by Cortex. Cortex corners N. Gin in an attempt to grab the bag off him only to be stopped by N. Gin's foot.
"I demand you give me that bag of coffee!" Cortex yells.
"No! You've had too much already!" N. Gin replies.
"I'll pay you"
"With what, monopoly money again? It didn't work the first time and it won't work a second! Why do you need this much coffee anyway?"
"It will help me become a woman"
"A wha... that makes no sense, are you drunk? Nether mind, if you want to be a woman that badly I'll be more than happy to help"
"May I remind you anyone who sees Neo's naked body goes blind" Tropy says.
"Oh yeah, I fell sorry for anyone who played the last titans game. Good thing he was still wearing something, too forever to get the dye out of my hair and it'll take even longer to repair whatever's left of my reputation" N. Gin says.
"GIMME!" Cortex demands.
"I SAID NO!"
"UGLY!"
"BIG HEADED FREAK!"
"VIRGIN!"
"DICK!"
Tropy sighs, "I fell like I'm babysitting children"
"UGLY BRITISH VIRGIN!" Cortex yells.
"You already called me ugly and a virgin... and who said I was British?" N. Gin asks.
"FINE... your English"
"STOP MAKING SHIT UP!"
Tropy pulls Cortex and N. Gin apart, "would you two stop acting like children. Cortex, weren't you playing one of your video games?"
"The consol broke, we ran out of booze and now I'm board" Cortex tells him.
"So coffee and changing your gender was the answer..." Tropy sighs, "well why don't the three of us play a board game?"
"What game? I'm pretty sure Tiny's eaten most of them" N. Gin says.
"How about monopoly?" Tropy suggests.
"Monopoly, I'm good at that" Cortex runs off to retrieve the box.
"You had to pick a board game with no real ending" N. Gin says.
Cortex returns with the box and begins to set up the game. N. Gin has a look at the game pieces.
"I don't remember the dog having a missel shoved up its ass... what is up with these pieces?" N. Gin asks.
"I have no answer for the dog but it appears Cortex just threw in some random pieces to replace the ones that are missing" Tropy tells him.
"That explains the chess pawn, what else is there. A gun and Miss Scarlet from Cluedo... a plastic battleship... and... is that a human eye?"
"That's what it appears to be"
"I GET MISS SCARLET!" Cortex grabs his piece, "N. Gin, why don't you be the dog?"
"I'll be the battleship" N. Gin picks it up and places it on the board.
Tropy choses the chess pawn and makes a mental note to get rid of the eye ball when Cortex isn't looking. To save time, Cortex decided they should be allowed to buy properties as soon as the game begins rather than wait until they have been round the board once.
Two hours in and N. Gin owed Old Kent Road and Whitechapel Road whilst the remainder of the board is divided between Cortex and Tropy. N. Gin picks up the dice.
"I wonder who's property you'll land on" Cortex says.
"You and Tropy own the board minus the two I have and, on top of that, you have hotels on all of your properties. It doesn't matter where I land... stop gloating, your smile is creepy" N. Gin says.
N. Gin lands on one of Cortex's properties. Lacking in funds he has no choice but to declare bankruptcy and hand over his only two properties to Cortex.
"Oh look your broke, just like in real life" Cortex says.
"At least I don't have to play anymore" N. Gin gets up, "have fun without me"
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Cortex asks.
"To do some work! And hide the coffee"
N. Gin returns later that night to find Cortex and Tropy are still playing.
"I told you it was a bad idea to play a game with no real ending" N. Gin says.
"We're not stopping until one of us wins and that winner shall be me!" Cortex announces.
"Fool, it is I who shall be triumphant!" Tropy announces.
N. Gin picks up a toaster and drops it onto the board, "a meteor in the shape of an everyday toaster fell from the sky and killed everyone. Now count your crash and property values to find out who won. I'm going to bed"
The next morning N. Gin finds Cortex and Tropy where he left them. He was wondering whether to bother them or not. He was also wanted to know why Tropy had a toaster in his clock room and if he could get away with putting tooth paste in Tropy's clocks with him in the room.
"It ended in a draw" Cortex says, startling N. Gin slightly.
"I don't care" N. Gin says.
"We need a rematch which means you have to play with us again" Cortex tells N. Gin.
"Not going to happen"
"And neither is your childish prank" Tropy says.
"I'm going back to work" N. Gin says.
"I thought as much"