She loved Kenshin. She even dreamed of having a family with Kenshin. When she met him the first time, she was mesmerized by him. She was willingly to accept everything about him, his unspoken past, his painful memories. He protected her and she wanted to protect him, to give him happiness, to give him love. However, she was unsure how to do it right and she was always making troubles. When they realized Tomoe was alive and has been living in Tokyo, it only makes it more difficult for her to confess her feelings to the wanderer. She did not want to compare herself with Tomoe. She did not want to be a third party and she did not want to be a bad woman. Her father would not be proud of her. Yet, the feelings she held for Kenshin did not change.

I am going back to Shanghai, with my family.

Enishi was planning to bring his family away. She wondered if the man walking beside him was aware of it. Her eyes glanced at the side of Kenshin's face, he seemed to at ease. Probably not, she thought. She wanted to tell him but she felt it was not her right to tell him about it.

Do you not love him enough to fight for him?

…I ….

"Kaoru dono?"

Upon hearing her name, Kaoru looked up at him, "Yes?"

"Is there something bothering you?" Kenshin asked.

"No!" she replied forcedly, "There is nothing bothering me." She continued, this time more gently.

Kenshin smiled, "I am glad to hear that, you are unusually quiet."

"Am I?" Kaoru asked suddenly afraid he would find out about her feelings. Was her feelings so openly displayed that even Enishi whom they met recently knew her feelings for the wanderer.

"That you are." Kenshin answered. "You should rest early tonight."

"Yes, I guess so," Kaoru agreed unsure what else to say.

When they returned to the dojo, seeing Kenshin walked back to his room, Kaoru called out to him, "Kenshin!"

"Yes?" He turned to look at her.

She smiled sheepishly, "Good night. Sweet dreams."

"Good night. You too."

…..

Yukishiro Enishi has already made preparation to leave for Shanghai. Everything was in place except to tell his family about his plans. He decided to talk to them when his sister rest for the day.

As they sat in the reception room, Enishi informed his father and sister his plans. "As you know I have been living in Shanghai since the war ended and I only came back to Japan to take care of some matters, which I have taken care. So, I guess it's time for me to go back to Shanghai."

"Go back to Shanghai?" His father asked in surprise.

Enishi answered shortly, "Shanghai is my home."

Tomoe asked, "Will you be coming back?"

Enishi pondered a moment, then replied, "I don't know." He was not sure if he would come back to Japan anymore since he had decided to bring his family over.

"But Enishi, we just united," his father said, he would respect his son's wish but it saddened him that his son was going to leave and their family will live apart again.

Enishi replied, "Actually, father, sister, I would like you to come to Shanghai with me. We could live together in Shanghai."

"To live in Shanghai," his father's voice was filled with surprise and uncertainty, "It's really sudden, Enishi."

"That is why I am discussing this with you."

"When do you intend to leave?" Tomoe asked.

"Probably in two weeks, I have stayed her for far too long," Enishi replied, "I will prepare everything, so there is really nothing much for you to pack or bring along."

Tomoe paused for a moment then she said, "That's really sudden, Enishi. I mean to move to Shanghai. I like it here. I can't just leave. Okami has always been good to me, I can't just leave her, Enishi."

"I know it's sudden, nee chan. But I have business and a house there. I can provide for father and you a comfortable life. You need not have to work but if you want, I can find some simple tasks for you to do. You will live comfortably there," Enishi said, then after a moment, he added, "I can understand there may be things holding you back to go Shanghai with me, but we are family, aren't we?"

It seemed Enishi had already made the decision for them and there was no other reasons to refuse his plans. Tomoe knew it would break her brother's heart if she left him again. However, she felt bad to leave the Yamanoya after so many years. Then again, their father had already made up his mind to go to Shanghai with Enishi. He knew he could never persuade Enishi to stay in Japan, nor could he leave his children side.

"That's all," Enishi stood up, feeling there was nothing much to discuss anymore. "Good night father, sister."

….

Kenshin loves his wife, I know this. I don't even know if Kenshin likes me. But I really really like him. What am I to do?

"Ah¬" Kaoru sighed for the sixth time since the morning after Kenshin left for work, while Yahiko started his kendo training.

When Yahiko finished his set of warm ups and stance training, he turned to Kaoru, eager to learn more.

"What's wrong with her?" Yahiko asked Sanosuke who was training as well, when Kaoru did not seem to pay attention to him.

Sanosuke stopped his punches and turned to stand beside Yahiko. He lowered his voice, "Hm, I believe this is what they called love triangle."

"Love triangle? What's that?" Yahiko asked.

"Don't worry about it. I am sure jou-chan will be alright soon," Sanosuke said and went back to practice his blows.

Confused at the young adults, Yahiko decided to focus on his practice to become a swordsman. "Stop sitting there and daydreaming, ugly," he shouted, gaining her attention finally when he stressed the last word, "I will surpass you soon!" Kaoru stood up and grabbed her Shinai, "What?! You ungrateful boy!" she said, she was not letting the boy insult her.

"I have practice this stance a hundred times already," Yahiko said. "Teach me the next move instead."

"Alright, make sure you watch me carefully," Kaoru said.

….

"Tomoe, there's a boy looking for you," one of the attendant called out to her as she was helping out in the kitchen.

"Alright, ask him to wait for a while." She replied while wiping the dishes and putting them in place. When she was done, she came out of the kitchen to meet the said boy. "Sorry to keep you waiting," she said and was surprised to see he was Yahiko, the boy from the dojo. She only known him as the disciple of Kamiya Kaoru. She asked, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Yahiko greeted her when she came out but his mouth seemed unable to form words upon her question. His hands were shaking and Tomoe saw his nervousness.

Tomoe smiled to ease the uncomfortableness of the young boy, "Why don't you come inside and I could prepare some snacks for you?"

"It's alright," Yahiko shook his head, his voice come out soft unlike his usual self. This was much more difficult than he thought. He looked at Tomoe, she was also born a samurai, her gracefulness and way of doing things reminded him slightly of his mother.

"Ok, so is there anything I can help you with?" Tomoe asked, leaning forward slightly. Her voice was gentle and it made Yahiko more at ease.

Thinking again about the reason he came, Yahiko gathered his courage. "It's about Kaoru."

"Kaoru san?" Tomoe asked.

"Yes," Yahiko nodded. "There are many things that Kenshin and Kaoru went through before Kenshin found you. I don't know what adults called it but she is acting weird these days. So if you-"

Yahiko stopped a moment, pressing his lips together, and Tomoe prompted, "Yes?"

"Forget it," Yahiko lowered his eyes, "It's just that Kaoru deserves to be happy too."

"You care a lot about her," Tomoe said with a smile, getting a rough idea on the boy's intention.

"Not really," he turned his head away.

Tomoe widened her smile, "Of course you do. Is there anything else I can help?" she asked.

"No, that's all. It's getting late," Yahiko said as he bowed politely, then feeling ashamed of what he was asking her to do. He continued in a rush, "I am going back, thank you for your time. Tomoe san, good bye."

"You are welcome, Yahiko kun. Good bye and take care," Tomoe said and waved at his retreating figure, even though he did not turn back.

That night, Tomoe tidied up her room before retreating to bed.

She did noticed Kenshin's friends cared for him a lot. She thought of him as a kind and polite person. Sanosuke seemed to respect him in a way and Megumi seemed to find him attractive. Enishi hinted early that Kaoru had bad taste in man and this suggestion was confirmed by the short visit from Yahiko. He was happy to be with them. And she should not prevent him from finding happiness.

…..Shanghai…...

She turned to her side and curled up. Maybe it was best for her to stay with her family.

Tomoe took her usual trip down the streets in the early evening. She sat down under the wisteria tree, while Kenshin stood beside her, looking at the river.

She knew this was going to be difficult for her but she was going to tell him. Closing her eyes and taking a big breath, Tomoe turned and looked up at him and said, "Himura san, could we talk?"

"Yes, of course," Kenshin replied and sat down crossed-legged beside her.

Tomoe said, "I went to look for Megumi sensei earlier this week. She said the chance of people recovery from memory loss was slim. For my case, because it had been such a long time, she said it was most likely I would not remember anything at all."

"I understand," Kenshin said. He realized she would never see him as the man she married. The memories they shared were only retained by him and the book.

Tomoe hesitated before she continued, "Though I may have loved you, I don't want this marriage to bind you."

Kenshin looked at her, taken aback, "What do you mean?"

Tomoe pressed her lips together and replied, "You don't have to think of me as your wife anymore."

"What?" Kenshin said, his eyes widened in disbelief. Why would she? "Am I bothering you?" he asked.

"No, that's not what I mean. I am glad you are here for me. I really am. But the time when we were together was in the past. This marriage was for show during the war, wasn't it? Now the war ended and there is peace, we are no longer considered married, so you do not have to stick to the binds and vows. You are a free man."

To end their marriage, their marriage, which was for show. Is that what she wanted, to be free of binding. To be free of her supposed husband. Her young husband she married ten year ago. His love for her was not out of obligation, he protected her not because of the marriage. It was because he loved her truly, even now.

"Tomoe, if you think waiting for you is wasting my time, you are mistaken. It is my choice to stay by your side no matter what," Kenshin said.

"Himura san…." Tomoe heart beat fluttered quickly and she was sure her face was burning at his declaration. But she thought of his friends, the other lady, "I don't want to take advantage of your goodness. There is someone, well, many who loves you and cares for you. But I, I don't even know you."

She got it all wrong, she was the one the only one who knew him, who forgave him, who saved him from his madness. "Tomoe, you do know me," Kenshin stressed the words. "Even if you don't remember me. I am happy to be with you."

Tomoe thought he could be really stubborn if he wanted. And she could be stubborn too.

Tomoe said in a quieter tone, "You could be happier. You deserve so much more. Kamiya Kaoru, she isn't just your landlady, is she?"

Kamiya Kaoru. He knew Kaoru had feelings for him and he was still unprepared to accept her feeling. He knew he would protect Kaoru and he loved her but not in the way he loved Tomoe. It was different.

It was a long time since he argued with anyone, especially with Tomoe, that he forgot how witty she was and even then.

Taking his silence as an answer, Tomoe looked away as he dwell in his thoughts.

"Why now?" he asked. Why tell him now when they are starting to be close, when he felt she was finally accepting him. When her presence only further confirmed that his heart would only belong to her. Was is because of the merchant's son? Was she falling for Katsuhiro?

"I am going to Shanghai, Enishi has made arrangements," Tomoe replied.

Her answer was definitely unexpected. "You are leaving Japan?" Kenshin asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I don't know the exact date but Enishi seemed to be rushing, he has some matters there," Tomoe replied.

"But-why all of a sudden?" Kenshin felt his world was darkened.

"I know it's sudden. I am hesitant at first but Enishi seemed to make the decision for us. They are my family, after all," Tomoe said. Shanghai was a new place, a new environment for her, it was frightening but she was alright with it. As long as she was with her family. She looked at his eyes, conveying her decision, "I am no longer your supposed wife, Himura san. You do not have to be responsible for my well-being. You should find you own happiness."

I love you, Tomoe. Kenshin looked back at black jet eyes intensely, it showed only kindness and gratefulness, nothing more.

"Thank you for loving me." Tomoe said. She was going to be take the initiative to let this man have the happiness he deserved. She may be the Tomoe who loved him but now she was the Tomoe working in the Yamanoya inn.

After a moment, Kenshin broke the silence, "I understand. If that's what you want."

"Thank you." Tomoe said with a bow. And I'm sorry I cannot be by your side.

She was the only one who could hurt him this much. But Kenshin would not stop her from going to Shanghai, he would not follow her to Shanghai, he simply could not if she was unwilling.

…...

"Tomoe, are you sure you are doing the right thing?" Toshiro his daughter asked when Tomoe came back to the inn alone.

"Yes," she said. She did not want to trouble the man who was her supposed husband anymore. Now that she knew there were others who were readily and willingly to give him the happiness he deserved. She did not want him to regret anything later.

"Alright," Toshiro said, knowing well of her good intend.

Enishi was surprised with his sister's action and greatly satisfied with it. His sister was at their side after all. And it made their departure for Shanghai so much easier.

On the other hand, the Ookami san was rather saddened by Tomoe's decision. And Katsuhiro once again asked Toshiro for the permission to court his daughter but was politely declined.

"Will you regret?" Natsuo asked while they worked in the kitchen.

"About?" Tomoe said without turning her head away from the pot she was stirring.

"About Himura san," Natsuo said.

Tomoe did not answer her immediately, she poured a scoop of soup onto and bowl before tasting it, it tasted bitter. "…..I guess not," she replied.

...

Kenshin's friends were stunned and astounded by it.

"She divorced him!" Sanosuke exclaimed.

"It was not really a divorce technically if you think about it," Megumi said as she checked on his hands.

"Where is he then?" Kaoru asked for Kenshin had not returned to the dojo the other day.

"No idea," Megumi shrugged her shoulder.

Adults act strangely sometimes. Yahiko thought.

Kenshin, please be alright. Kaoru was worried.

Kenshin stood among the forested trees, gathering his thoughts.

...A journey without farewells, a beginning without end. It's a little lonely but that's how it is...