CHAPTER SIX: NEW IDEAS?
Cortex attempts to organise a meeting room with his loyal allies, and one long suffering assistant, to help him come up with any new plans to defeat the Bandicoots. Unfortunately only N. Gin appears to have shown up in the meeting room. He seems to be busy playing with a paddle ball and hasn't notice Cortex entering the room. Cortex sat down opposite N. Gin and waits, watching N. Gin for a while but he soon became board.
"WHERE IS EVERYONE?!" Cortex yells.
N. Gin is startled and drops his toy, "\Cortex? What are you doing here?"
"Holding a meeting in the meeting room... you are here for that, right?"
"Um... sure... I guess" N. Gin says to Cortex then in his head, "maybe I shouldn't tell him I'm hiding from Pinstripe and his plan to get me drunk"
"Excellent! Now, where is everyone?"
"Brio is busy working on some potions. Tropy is tinkering with his clocks. Tiny is doing whatever he does in his free time. Pinstripe is looking for someone to try some alcohol he found. Do you want me to continue?"
"No... are you hiding from Pinstripe?" Cortex looks at N. Gin suspiciously.
"What did you want to talk about?" N. Gin asks with an innocent smile.
"I need help to think of a new, fool proof plan to get rid of those infernal Bandicoots once and for all!"
"I'm not building another space station, Brio destroyed one and any built after that have always had a bad habit of exploding"
"I wasn't going to suggest that besides going to space is boring. Not to mention slightly hazard to one's health"
"Everything we do is ninety percent hazard to our health. Like the time you installed a flame thrower in the dish washer, which Brio discovered... why did you do that? Were you hoping Crash would break in and use it to clean his dishes... if he has any that is"
"Possibly... that's all in the past"
"That was yesterday and you wonder why Brio rarely talks to you"
"That aside why don't we have another race?"
"I have no idea how that will kill the Bandicoots unless your plan involves either running them over or tampering with their karts. Besides i can't help you this time. You blew up my kart when you attempted to send it to outer space"
"Did it work?"
"Possibly, half the parts never showed up again"
"Party games?"
"Sure because playing a mini game based around William Tell's feat with your enemies is loads of fun, especially when their hand 'slips'. At any rate those fat 'plumbers' have that covered. They call themselves plumbers but they have yet to fix any toilets or sinks. I wonder if the title plumber is given to people who run around beating up oversize lizards and rescuing princesses these days"
"But they also do racing games"
"As does everyone else at least once. It's a gimmicky thing, like tennis or golf"
"That's it! How about..."
"No, tennis equals black eyes and broken tennis rackets, not to mention no one wants to see you in shorts. Golf on the other hand is pretty much the same thing except you all get to wear stupid hats, we also get to watch Crash and Tiny see who can throw their golf club the furthest. At any rate I can't play either sports, depth deception problems or at least that's the excuse I'm using"
"Baseball? Football? The Olympics? Melee?"
"Baseball would end up pretty much the same as golf for Crash and Tiny. Football, depends which one your talking about, one being far more painful than the other. Olympics, hell no! No one wants to see you do figure skating in those outfits not to mention we probably couldn't complete half the events without injuries or dying or laughter. As for melee don't we already get beaten up enough?"
"Fine... how about we team up with one of Spyro's enemies?"
"From what I heard it was a terrible idea on both you and that weird... reptile guy came up with. I wasn't involved so I have no idea how bad an idea it was"
"I have it! We can unleash the TITANS!"
"Fuck. No! I'm pretty sure a lot of people thought I lost my mind thanks to those 'plans'. I even thought I might have lost it"
"What do you suggest we do then?"
"Dress you up like Coco then have you lure Crash into a cave or pit filled with explosives covered up with wumpa fruit? Maybe he'll be dumb enough to stand still long enough for us to blow him"
"That will never work... I have it! Follow me!"
N. Gin picks up his paddle ball and follows Cortex down into the dungeon. They stop in front of a large cage. N. Gin can see a pair of glowing red eyes starring out at them.
"Have you actually created something useful? That in itself is scary if you have" N. Gin says
"N. Gin I give you ,y greatest creation! The only Titan I never used due to its... awesomeness of power!" Cortex announces.
"Oh joy, a Titan... wonder if you tortured it in anyway to make it obey you through fear. Wonder if it even remembers you"
Cortex opens the cage door and a large white fist lands on top of him.
"I take that as a yes. This is why I stick to machines" N. Gin says.
The creature stomps out of it's cage, stepping on Cortex on the way out.
"Mutant rabbit with lasers? I don't know if I should be impressed or worried. Then again it would prove I was right about rabbits being evil" N. Gin says.
Cortex pulls himself up onto his feet, "why do you think rabbits are evil?"
"They are according to Watership Down"
"I'd better go get it so I may unleash it upon the Bandicoots!" Cortex heads towards the stairs then stops and turns to N. Gin, "aren't you coming?"
"Nope, I think I'll keep playing with my toy" N. Gin leans against the wall and starts playing with his paddle ball.
As Cortex leaves he passes Brio who joins N. Gin's side.
"Did I just see a mutant rabbit with lasers eat the fridge whole?" Brio asks.
"Possibly" N. Gin replies.
"New plan to defeat Crash?"
"What else?"
They hear a large explosion come from upstairs. Cortex soon stumbles back looking slightly singed.
"What happened?" N. Gin asks, half heatedly.
"Tiny tried to fight it and managed to punch a hole in it's chest" Cortex replies.
"So it was a robot... have fun fixing the castle" N. Gin says.
"Aren't either of you going to help me?" Cortex asks.
"No!" N. Gin and Brio say.
"Fine! But I will make you regret this!" Cortex storms off.
"I doubt it" N. Gin says.
It took Cortex three days to repair the damage. He did, however, prove N. Gin wrong when he managed to make him wear a tutu for a whole day. The experience earned him a black eye.