Now that Martha has vacated the kitchen to head upstairs, Kate carefully resumes her position, straddling the writer on the kitchen floor. Her long brunette hair hangs down, softly grazing his face. Castle smiles up at her, lost in her beautiful eyes. They look brighter this morning, happier. And she hasn't even had her coffee yet he thinks to himself, admiring her beauty as she returns his smile. She leans her head down to his ear, "So what are we gonna do now, Writer boy?" she teases, slowly unbuttoning two more buttons on his dress shirt. He laughs, "What happened to Writer Man, I liked that much better", as he tucks her brunette locks behind her right ear. "And I don't know Detective Beckett-" he began, and that's when he sees it.
Her neck has dark purple finger marks on each side, marks that were not visible in the darkness last night and had been blocked by her hair and the collar of his shirt this morning. Marks that make it seem like she had been-he can't even finish the thought before he says, "Kate…" and instantly she realizes what has caused his unusual behavior. She quickly slides off of him, un-tucking her hair to cover the bruising. Before she can move too far, Castle reaches out and softly tugs her wrist. His eyes catch hers and she turns, the eyes that had looked so bright moments ago have become a dark shade of brown, with tears beginning to well up in the corners.
"Come here", he says as he places her head on his shoulder. He begins to slowly run his hands through her hair as he hears her softly sobbing into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry Rick, I am so sorry". He places a few softly kisses into her hair as he rubs soothing circles onto her back. She winces a little and he quickly removes his hand as if he had been burned. "I didn't mean to hurt you I just-", as she lifts her head and silences him with a soft kiss on the cheek.
"He strangled me Rick," she begins, realizing she owes him the truth about what happened last night, no matter how hard it is for her. His eyes lock up hers as he listens attentively. "We found him at his hotel and had someone open his room to search it. We found all of Montgomery's files but before we could get out and call for backup, Maddox showed up and got the drop on Esposito. He knocked my gun out of my hand and I grabbed it off the floor and chased him up onto the roof. He snuck up behind me and we struggled, and then he choked me.." she continues, slowly running her finger over the marks on her neck with a dazed look in her eyes, remembering the pain she'd felt the day before.
Knowing the pain she will see, she is unable to look into his eyes and drops her gaze to the floor as she continues, "When he finally let go he kicked me to the ground. He told me I didn't know what I was up against, and he was right…." She stops talking for a moment, and unbuttons the last few buttons on the bottom of his shirt. And it is not her lacy black panties that catch his eye, but rather the large purple bruise that consumes a majority of her abdomen. "Oh my God, Kate-" but she cuts him off, "Please just let me finish Castle, I want you to really know everything that happened last night" as tears begin to well up in her eyes. Needing to feel close to her, Rick grabs her wrist and begins tracing light, comforting circles around the top of her delicate hand as she continues.
"We continued to struggle and the next thing I knew he tossed me off the roof, and I was hanging by my fingertips", she says as he slowly begins to turn her hand over, looking at her fingertips that were rubbed raw from hanging off the concrete. He looks up at her, wanting to say something, but when he sees the pain in her eyes, he turns her hand back over and continues rubbing the comforting circles, allowing her to continue.
"When I was hanging there Rick, I wasn't thinking about the man who shot me, or the one who shot Montgomery, or even my mom's case at all. All I could think about in that moment was how I could die right then and you would never know how much I –" and she cuts herself off, and thinks before she finishes her sentence, "care about you Rick, and how I would never have the chance to tell you how I really feel. I know it's taken me a long time to get here, and I know it will probably take me a little longer to tell you that words I want to say and I know you want to hear..." She looks down at his hand, which is now tightly wrapped around hers. Not tight enough where it causes her pain, but just tight enough where she feels safe. It's just right. "But what I can tell you now is that the last four years have been some of the most challenging, emotional, and most fun years of my life and I have you to thank for that. I was lost Rick. Lost in my job, and my mom's case and dead end relationships…and you found me. You found me and you always gave me a reason to get up and go to work and do my job. You helped me give families closure. And give them a future. And you helped me realize that I can have a future too. And I want one….with you." She lifts her eyes from their joined hands to his eyes, and sees tears begin to fall.
"Thank you Kate, that really means a lot to me. I thought I lost you Kate, I thought you didn't feel the same way about me. And I care-" then he thought about his choice of words and corrects himself, "love you so much that I couldn't bear the thought of losing you as a friend. And as a partner. I almost watched you die once Kate-" and now it is he who has that dazed stare in his eyes, the one you get recalling painful memories, "in that ambulance I watched you bleed out, not knowing if I was ever going to see you again. You are my world Kate. You and Alexis and my mother and the boys, you guys are my family. And I wish I was there for you when you needed me. I just left you there on that roof-"
"No Castle, please. Don't do this. I'm glad you weren't there. I'm glad you weren't there because if you were, we might both be dead. You would want to save me and I would be hanging from that ledge so worried about keeping you safe because I couldn't stand the thought of living without you. Before I even met you Castle, you saved me." Kate looks up at his face, and he stares back, confused. "Remember that case with Will? One day we were driving in the car after I had sent you home and he asked me if I ever told you how important your books were to me when my mom was murdered. And I didn't want to tell you, because you were still that annoying sidekick who butted into my personal life and toted around bimbos at parties and signed women's chests at book signings. It didn't seem like you needed what I thought would just be an ego boost for you back then. But then you became so much more than that Rick. You became the guy who made me smile every day with just a cup of coffee. The guy I would call when I just needed to talk. The guy who saved my life and the lives of others with his crazy, yet successful plans. The guy who bought me flowers when I was upset. The guy who makes me laugh when I cry. The guy who is not only my partner, but my best friend. And that guy is the one who's sitting in front of me right now, and deserves to know how important he was to me, even before we met".