Six months later…
Having just located child rape suspect Saul Picard, Elliot is escorting him handcuffed through a park. Olivia is ahead with the little girl they found him with, sleepy but blessedly unharmed.
The man is talking to himself in unintelligible storybook speak on the way to the sedan. He continues mumbling until he stops suddenly, having seen a sign on a passing truck that reads 'Winter's coming…Time to escape.'
"Oh okay," says Picard.
"Yeah, okay what?" Elliot asks, continuing to walk behind the man.
"Do I have to do it now?" Asks Picard to no one. "Cuz it's gonna be really hard."
"I gotta get away," he says to Elliot, starting to pull in the opposite direction.
"You're not goin' anywhere pal."
"I gotta get away, gotta get away," he contends before head-butting Elliot and knocking him into the window of the police sedan, shattering the glass with the back of his skull.
"Elliot!" Screams Olivia after hearing what happened. "Get him!" She yells, pointing at Picard after seeing him flee in handcuffs.
The park is crawling with police officers, having rendezvoused there to look for the man and the girl he'd kidnapped.
"Get him!" She bellows again as two uniformed officers stop traffic so she can get to her partner.
When Olivia makes it to their sedan she sees Elliot on the ground slumped against the door of the car.
"Officer down call a bus!"
He's not conscious when she kneels beside him and after checking his injuries she sees the blood on the back of his head.
"Elliot," she says, "Elliot you're okay, a bus is on its way," she adds, cradling his head to her chest. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay…you're okay."
Seeing as though he's unconscious and can't hear her, it's a safe bet to say that she's trying to reassure herself more than him.
They've not spoken again about becoming more than partners since she left his apartment all those months ago. Olivia thinks she called his…Kathy out of habit. It dawns on her that she doesn't know if the woman is Elliot's ex-wife or his current one.
She seemed generally worried after speaking to Olivia on the phone. But then again, she is the mother of his children. Of course she'd be worried.
And so is Elliot's partner.
The doctor told her and Cragen that he has great odds at a full recovery. Optimism has never been a trait of hers. She's always been more of a realist than anything else.
When she goes back into his hospital room, she's surprised to find Kathy leaving.
"The twins will be home soon so I have to go," she tells him. "I'll let them know that you're okay," she adds.
"Please do," he tells her. "And thanks for coming," he adds.
Olivia is standing dutifully by the door, watching the exchange. There's no kiss, no tenderness, no nothing. The woman just pats his hand and gathers her purse.
"Bye Liv," she says. "Let me know if he needs anything."
She absently nods, still unsure about what she's just witnessed. The woman didn't even comment about the fact that Elliot's blood is decorating Olivia's shirt. Once she's gone, Olivia plants herself in the chair that Kathy vacated.
"The doctor says the fact that you're seeing bright lights and colors is a good sign," she tells him. "So hopefully, you'll be back to work soon."
"Good to know," he says, calmer than he was when he woke up to find his vision impaired.
"Can I ask you a question El?"
"Sure."
"Why'd you thank Kathy for coming?" She asks. "I mean, why wouldn't she?"
Elliot takes a breath before answering.
"We're divorced so it's not like she had to," he responds. "She came to check on me so the kids wouldn't worry," he adds. "Maureen and Kathleen might come later…
He continues talking but Olivia doesn't really hear anything past the "D" word. He hasn't behaved differently, doesn't seem like a man who was ending his marriage. Elliot worked the cases, got them coffee, ate lunch with her here and there and seemed genuinely happy with his life.
The only assumption she could make was that he'd gone home to Queens, back to the life he built with Kathy and their children. When she picks the conversation back up he's talking about the case.
"Did they catch him?"
"Yeah," she says. "He's being examined on another floor."
"You shoot him?" He asks, trying to make light of the situation.
"No, I was uh…too worried about the fact that you're head went through a car window," she advises him.
Without giving it a second thought she takes his left hand in her right, now realizing that he never put his ring back on. Olivia can't believe she hasn't noticed up until this point. Then again, maybe it was a subconscious move on her part because she didn't really want to know.
She's running her thumb over his knuckles when he grasps her hand and holds on. How is it possible to have missed touching him and being touched by him, when they've never really done so before?
"When did you…how long have-
"It was finalized a month ago," he interrupts. "I told you that I was sure Liv," he says, nearly whispering.
"Why didn't you tell me about it?" She asks in the same tone.
"After Fin's nephew nearly brought the 1-6 down, we both had shit to get through," he reasons. "You got suspended and I had to watch them cart my daughter off to jail."
"I'm sorry, you're right," Olivia tells him. "A lot of people got burned on that case."
It's quiet between them for a few seconds.
"Also…I thought you were still seeing the same guy," he explains. "I wasn't gonna mess with that when you weren't convinced that it was you that I wanted…want."
Elliot can't see the surprised look on her face at his boldness and honesty. So, she continues like it hasn't affected her.
"I was sure you went home," she counters. "You came in to work the next day like that kiss never happened," she adds. "I figured you decided to reconcile with Kathy after all."
"Sounds like we both jumped to conclusions," he tells her.
"The wrong ones," she points out.
"So you're not seeing, whoever the hell you were seeing anymore?"
"No," she admits. "Not for a while."
When Olivia notices that the doctor is about to enter the room, she releases his hand and gets up to leave.
"We'll talk about this later El."
She gives him a hopeful smile that he can't see, and leaves him with the doctor to talk about his condition.
Along with Huang's help, they build a case against Saul Picard and present it to Casey. When she tells Olivia that she needs Elliot to testify, the detective gets uncharacteristically overprotective of her partner, claiming it's her job to look after him.
"Leave him alone Casey," she finds herself saying to the counselor.
"I can't."
Elliot ends up testifying for the sole purpose of the ADA's hidden agenda to get Picard declared mentally incompetent. Who knew she'd had a boyfriend with schizophrenia? The ADA gets into trouble for throwing the case and Saul himself begs to be extradited back to Louisiana, a state where sexual assaults against a child less than twelve is a capital offense punishable by death. But Casey gets what she wants and he stays in New York to serve his time.
Sitting in her car, Olivia looks at herself in her rearview mirror and shakes her head. She's ashamed at the lengths she went through to get the counselor in trouble and for passing the information about her schizophrenic ex to her boss.
She even told the feds about Picard so the case would be taken out of Casey's hands. All of it was nothing but revenge for what he'd done to Elliot. First she had to admit that to herself and then to Casey.
There's only one more person she needs to talk to.
Olivia gets out of the car and walks up the steps of his building. She climbs the short two flights and knocks on his door. She didn't call and it's late so she hopes he's up. They don't exactly keep regular hours anyway.
"Hey," Elliot says, opening the door and stepping aside to allow her in. "I wasn't expecting to see you until I got back to work next week."
"Yeah well," she begins. "I needed to talk to you."
"You want something to drink, a beer maybe?" He asks, walking into the small kitchen.
"Sure," she says, hoping it's the same beer he had all those months ago. Either it tasted great or that was all Elliot.
Olivia follows him, sitting on the opposite side of the breakfast bar on a stool. She places her purse on the counter and her jacket on the adjacent seat.
He puts an opened bottle in front of her and she smiles and takes it.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"So have you gotten all of your vision back?"
"Most of it," he answers. "I just have to wear glasses more often than usual until I'm 100%."
She nods, growing quiet.
"What's wrong?"
"Did you ever notice that whenever one of us visits the other at home, we always ask that question?"
He raises his eyebrows in thought then gives her a small smile.
"You're right," he acknowledges. "So there's nothing wrong?"
"I didn't say that," she tells him smirking. "I just…wanted to know if you noticed."
"I have now," he says, gesturing for her to follow him into the living room.
They sit on his sofa and Elliot puts his feet up on the coffee table.
"I didn't want you to testify," she tells him.
"Yeah, Casey told me," he reveals. "I told her I was big boy and I could handle it," he says. "But why didn't you?"
Olivia sits back against the cushions, taking a sip of her beer. It tastes like he did all those months ago.
"This is good," she comments. "When did you start drinking it?"
"After I moved out," he tells her. "Tried it, liked it, bought it now quit stalling," he says, urging her with his elbow.
"I thought if she pushed you too soon that it'd just take longer for you to come back," she explains. "And I miss working with you," she adds. "I miss…you."
Elliot reaches for her hand, intertwining their fingers and pressing his palm to hers in an intimate fashion.
"I've missed you for months," he confesses, momentarily dropping his eyes to her lips to bring home his point. "If I was permanently blind, next to my kids, your face would be the one I'd miss seeing the most," he continues. "And that scares the shit out of me."
"Me too," she admits.
"Why?"
"Because of the way I acted on this case," she begins. "I was overprotective of you and vindictive towards Casey because of what Saul Picard did," she adds. "And as many times as I've said it's because we're partners, I know that's not the only reason."
"It's not?"
"You know it's not Elliot," she responds, instantly. "God, no wonder people think we're sleeping together," she adds, pulling her hand out of his and placing it at her forehead.
He sets his beer on the end table then pulls her hand away from her head, holding it down between them again. Taking a breath, he tries to put into words, what he's been feeling.
"Since when do you give a damn what they think?" He questions. "People have always talked and they'll continue to, no matter if we're together or not," he reasons. "Just the thought of losing you terrifies me Olivia. That has to mean something."
Elliot drops his feet from the coffee table, turning fully towards her.
"After the Royce case I did what you suggested," he reveals. "I sat down with someone to talk about what I was going through."
"How'd that go?"
"Good," he answers. "It helped cement the fact that going home for the sake of the kids would've been wrong," he adds.
"I'm glad it helped."
"I wanna try something that I learned in therapy," he suggests. "And maybe it'll help you too."
Olivia looks skeptical but she trusts him.
"Okay."
"I'll go first," he offers, trying to make her more comfortable. "Wanting to be with you scares me because-I don't want it to turn out like my marriage."
The words are barely out of his mouth and she already looks like she wants to bolt for the front door.
"Come on Liv," he encourages. "We talk to each other about everything," he reminds her. "You can do this."
She takes a breath, then a sip from her beer before placing it next to his on the coffee table.
"Wanting to be with you scares me because-you're my best friend, my family," she tries. "And if we mess it up…I lose all of that."
"You won't," he contends. "Even if things didn't work out, I wouldn't stop being your friend Liv."
"You can't promise that Elliot," she says, releasing his hand and getting up from the sofa.
She's not headed for the door but the urge to run has never been stronger than it is at this moment. It's the reason that she'd rather talk about anything except for them.
"I can," he asserts, remaining where he is.
"If it weren't for your kids, would you still talk to Kathy?"
"Definitely," he tells her. "We've known each other since we were teenagers."
"Well do you know how many of my exes I still keep in touch with?" She asks, hands on her hips. "None Elliot, not one."
He gives a small chuckle and shakes his head.
"You think this is funny?" She asks, incredulously.
"No Liv," he answers. "I just think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves," he reasons. "You haven't even agreed to go on a date with me and we're already talking about what would happen if things didn't work out."
He has a point.
Olivia calms, realizing he's right and rejoins him on the sofa. She rubs her eyes and sits back against the cushions. It's been a long day.
"Sorry for freaking out on you," she tells him. "I'm kind of tired."
"It's ok," he says. "I started it with my whole 'what if it turns out like my marriage' thing."
"Yeah you did," she agrees. "And I so did not need to hear that," she adds, reclaiming her beer.
"I know," he says. "The truth is…I'm more afraid of something happening to one of us without finding out if we'd be good together," he admits. "Being temporarily blinded isn't the worst thing that could've happened that day."
"I don't even wanna think about it," she tells him. "When I saw you slumped over on the ground like that…I was terrified," she confesses.
They sit in silence for a few minutes. Each with the other on their minds, wondering what an intimate relationship between them would be like, feel like.
"So…will you?" Asks Elliot.
"Will I what?" She asks, taking a sip of her beer.
"Go out with me?"
After the tension of the conversation and to Elliot's enjoyment, the question brings a much needed smile to Olivia's face.
"Let's see if I have this right," she begins. "You spend sometimes twelve plus hours a day with me at work and you still wanna take me someplace afterwards?"
Elliot raises one eyebrow and tilts his head like he's giving it actual thought before answering her.
"Yep."
"On an actual date?"
"Yep," he repeats. "One of those things where I wear a nice suit and you wear one of those sexy dresses you own," he describes. "I pick you up, we go to a good restaurant, you laugh at all my jokes…any of this sound familiar?"
Olivia leans forward, placing her beer on the coffee table again. Then she turns to face him.
"Vaguely," she says, smartly. "Then what happens?"
"We see where the night takes us," he continues. "Maybe we go dancing or take a walk in the park."
"And?"
"Then I take you home, kiss you goodnight and wait a respectable amount of time before calling and asking you out again," Elliot explains.
Olivia squints her eyes and rubs her chin, pretending to contemplate the whole thing. Then she picks up his hand, threading their fingers together.
"Tell me more about this kiss," she says, trying not to smile and rubbing her thumb over his. "Are we talking on the cheek, forehead, lips or what?"
"Depends on how I feel the night went," Elliot responds, now focused on their hands and what she's doing. "But I've kissed you twice now on the lips and I didn't hear any complaints," he goes on, bringing his eyes to hers again. "So I'd probably stick with that."
"If it ain't broke don't fix it huh?"
"Right," he answers.
"And if I say no?" She asks, dropping her eyes to the sofa cushions.
Elliot takes his other hand, pulling her chin up so that he can meet her eyes again.
"I keep watching your back as your partner," he asserts. "And you stay my best friend," he adds. "But if you say yes we keep dating, we have fun and we see what happens," he asserts. "But we do not make plans for if it doesn't work out."
When he takes his hand away from her chin, Olivia holds his eyes. She wants to kiss him for the confidence he has in them but refrains because she wouldn't wanna stop and they're not ready for that yet. Elliot recognizes that there's finally hopefulness in her browns, instead of the doubt he's gotten used to seeing.
"What was that question again detective?"
Elliot exhales, shaking his head in amusement.
"Tell me you've given every guy that's asked you out this much grief," he tells her.
"No," she says. "But then again I've never been in this situation with anyone else before," she acknowledges. "I already care about you."
Elliot sees her sincerity, a little bit of fear and offers her a smile. He's just as scared of losing her.
"Olivia Benson," he begins. "God woman, you make me feel like I'm about to propose or something."
She can't help but laugh at that.
"You're not down on one knee and you don't have one of those little blue boxes from Tiffany's," she tells him. "So relax."
"You're a hand full."
"But I'm worth it," she quips with another smile. "You were saying…"
Elliot starts laughing, Olivia joins in and soon they're both laughing uncontrollably at the sheer ridiculousness of the circumstances. They've known each other for nearly a decade and he's about to ask her on a date like they just met yesterday.
Olivia thinks if they can just keep making one another laugh like this, she and Elliot can deal with trying to hide it from the brass, the continued whispers and all the other crap that seeing your partner socially brings about.
"Okay stop," she says, trying to reign in her own snickers and wiping tears from her eyes from laughing so hard, "I'm trying to be serious here Elliot."
"Okay, okay" he tells her, tampering down his laughs.
He takes another breath to make sure he's gotten all his laughing out.
"Liv," he begins again. "Will you go out with me?"
"Yes," she answers. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" She asks, getting up from the sofa.
"I hope you'll be easier on me from here on out," he comments, following behind her. "I'm partially disabled ya know."
She shakes her head as she gathers her purse and coat.
"You haven't bumped into any furniture," she's noticed. "So I think you'll be just fine."
Elliot helps her into her jacket and when she turns he kisses her on the cheek before leaning back to gauge her reaction.
"Uh oh," she says. "You are disabled," she tells him smiling. "You missed."
"Gotta save something for the honeymoon," he quips back.
"There you go getting ahead of yourself again Stabler," turning to leave. "You've only been divorced for a month."
Olivia shakes her head and walks around him but he surprises her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. She doesn't hesitate to place her hands over his.
"We'll see," Elliot whispers against the skin of her neck and it gives her shivers.
Her mind is suddenly over run with scenes of Saturday morning walks, lazy Sundays in bed, intimate dinners, watching old movies snuggled on the sofa and the possibility of a dark haired baby with steel blue eyes.
"Yeah," she says, holding tighter to him. "We'll see."